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Adam Edelman
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 environmentpuzzle to fixpuzzle completionPresentation
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Reviewer 1:
Reviewer 2:
Client 3:
Reviewer 4:
1-marginal     2-ok    3-good     4-very good    5-outstanding

environment concept sketch comments

Reviewer 1:

I'm unable to understand your drawing, but I get the vague idea of what you're talking about from the description. Unfortunately, going off the description, there isn't much to assess given that a room design like this is mostly going to be about futuristic visuals and effects.

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Reviewer 2:

I thought for a concept sketch there was not enough success in displaying the embodiment of the idea. Even with the text I found the sketch to be a bit confusing. To help with this I would focus on cleaning up the sketch a bit and maybe involving human interaction to better create the scene.

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Client 3:

All of the intent for the environment is not quite clear from the sketch.

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Reviewer 4:

The environment matches the ship, the flip up panel antecedes the puzzle well. I have a few concerns about the puzzle as implemented for a large group. A large number of "access" panels might seem contrived in the context of the story.

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puzzle to fix concept sketch comments

Reviewer 1:

Again, I have difficulty visualizing the different parts of the puzzle because I can't understand your sketch. Having a lot of small parts makes it easy for people to steal them. Many of these pieces would have to be more complex than just raw materials to detect if the puzzle has been assembled correctly. You would also need a lot of parts to replace to involve larger groups of people.

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Reviewer 2:

Again in this sketch I found that the sketch didn't convey the messages of the idea in a clear enough manner. Perhaps really focus down on a single aspect of the puzzle if that helps you create a clear image of what is going on. Also, possibly creating some sort of flow in the sketch to describe the way the puzzle works so as to not rely so heavily on text descriptions.

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Client 3:

I like the idea of multiple types of objects involved with the puzzle, all working together in reassembling the engine.

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Reviewer 4:

The puzzle is easy to understand, and fits the theme well. Method B might be difficult to implement because any action that requires cutting wires will leave a lot of scrap material around.

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puzzle completion concept sketch comments

Reviewer 1:

There isn't much to assess here. I don't see how steam has any place in a futuristic space engine.

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Reviewer 2:

In this sketch where the idea is quite simple I would like to see more regarding the implementation and feasibility.

By this I mean perhaps sketch the mechanism you could use or even just the physical positioning and construction of the components.

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Client 3:

I like the idea of "steam" coming out of the engine to depict it coming to life.

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Reviewer 4:

This will produce a very obvious conclusion to the puzzle. IF everything works as describe it should provide some nice reinforcement for the task.

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Overall concept sketch clarity and presentation

Reviewer 1:

The web presentation is great. Simple, clear, and routing through the intro was a good idea. The storyboard is extremely well drawn (like a comic) and clear.

The concept sketches were effectively incomprehensible. The descriptions were lengthy, but the sketches are way more important in getting the ideas across.

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Reviewer 2:

The site itself was laid out clearly enough but I think something linking the descriptions to the pictures more clearly would be useful. Also, I think the text should maybe be reduced to allow the sketches to speak for themselves.

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Client 3:

The sketches were not particularly clear.

The middle one, detailing the puzzle, communicated the intention very well.

The other two did not convay much information -- I'd suggest spending more time, zooming out a bit, and being clear in your own mind about the communication intent of each drawing.

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Reviewer 4:

These sketches were difficult to understand. I couldn't tell what was going on until I read the descriptions.

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