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Home > Assignments > Concept sketch results > Reviews for Chandrika Maheshwari

Chandrika Maheshwari
tinkerdoodles
[review]

StoryboardConcept Sketches
 Oedipus 1st 2nd 3rd Presentation
Average Rating
 
Client 1:
Client 2:
Reviewer 3:
Reviewer 4:
1-marginal     2-ok    3-good     4-very good    5-outstanding

Storyboard Oedipus: innovativeness and potential

Client 1:

I have a few questions about this. Number one, would an Egyptian-themed room have a couch in it? Did they have couches in ancient Egypt?

Number two, you named this Oedipus, but what does this game have to do with Oedipus?

Number three, when the Sphinx shows up on the wall, how are the players going to figure out that it's a Sphinx? Because the way you've drawn it, it's unclear. A Sphinx has the head of a human and the body of a lion. If you only show its head, it's just a random human head... it could be anything. If I was in the room, I might guess "Pharaoh."

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Client 2:

This game seems a little bit simple to me. Maybe there could be a little more interaction between the guest and the room. Is there a way to room can hint to them what they should do? Is there a connection between the couch and the image?

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Reviewer 3:

The projection of the sphinx on the wall could definitely create a cool, ominous effect for the players. Maybe accompanied by some sound or something, I could imagine that they could be scared they upset the pharaoh!

My main comment on this experience is that the connection between the room theme and the actions the players have to complete is very arbitrary. Things like the couch, the flower vase, etc. don't really tie into the Egyptian theme and seem out of place; I don't think it would create the immersive experience that 5 wits is going for here. Again, I think the idea of projecting a sphinx onto the wall could definitely be a cool effect, but perhaps the actions required to activate it could be like opening a sarcophagus, rotating a mummy head, or something along those lines.

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Reviewer 4:

I really like your team's concept of Ancient Egypt and the idea that a sphinx emerges from the wall. That is super cool. I think it would be frustrating to be someone in your game who is playing and looking for cools and then something happens only when you get down/give up. That's not really rewarding intelligence or cleverness. I think it would be helpful to have the clue relate to what's going to happen with the wall or to push the action forward somehow. I am also not sure how your storyboard is related to the elements that you drew.

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, 1st

Client 1:

I clicked on your Concept Sketch link and it said "You don't have permission to access /2.744/studentSubmissions/conceptSketches/tinkerdoodles/chan633/concept_sketches/ on this server."

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Client 2:

I didn't see any sketches

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Reviewer 3:

There were no concept sketches when I viewed the website on Friday afternoon.

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Reviewer 4:

The vase is an awesome idea, especially to have the continuation of the theme through the vase- shows the motif pretty clearly. I like that it relates to another element, the monkey bars, and seems like a cool user experience to realize that the vase controls the monkey bars. I'm wondering how to make it recognizable that it has controls. For example, when I think of a vase I think of something that has flowers in it; if it's not hollow on the inside that seems more like a statue to me. So I'm wondering if it will be clear that you need to move the head of the sphinx to use it.

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, 2nd

Client 1:

I clicked on your Concept Sketch link and it said "You don't have permission to access /2.744/studentSubmissions/conceptSketches/tinkerdoodles/chan633/concept_sketches/ on this server."

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Client 2:

I didn't see any sketches

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Reviewer 3:

There were no concept sketches when I viewed the website on Friday afternoon.

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Reviewer 4:

The idea of money bars seems really cool, however it might have some liability issues in actuality if people get hurt using them. Especially if they are too high- what if someone jumps to try to grab it and then falls? Maybe you could use the monkey bar idea to something that is less dynamic, like having an element from the wall that you need to pull down or push up. Think about growing up as a kid and all the kids you saw knock their teeth out on the money bars. I think you could still somehow have a fun element like this but take some of the risk out!

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, 3rd

Client 1:

I clicked on your Concept Sketch link and it said "You don't have permission to access /2.744/studentSubmissions/conceptSketches/tinkerdoodles/chan633/concept_sketches/ on this server."

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Client 2:

I didn't see any sketches

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Reviewer 3:

There were no concept sketches when I viewed the website on Friday afternoon.

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Reviewer 4:

Maybe it was just my interpretation of the sketch but I'm still not really sure how the sensor and the tiles work together. The idea of using tiles makes a lot of sense- you could do a lot with them in different rooms because they are modular and can be put together in different ways. So that part makes a lot of sense to me. But from an implementation standpoint I'm not quite sure how the sensor tiles will work or how feasible they will be to build.

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Sketching technique, clarity of storyboard and concept sketches, and their web presentation

Client 1:

I understood your sketches and storyboard, but couldn't access your concept sketches.

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Client 2:

Nice storyboard. No sketches I'm able to see.

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Reviewer 3:

The storyboard drawing is well done and a good execution of the 1-point perspective technique. The sphinx drawing is really incredible! The panels are also very clear in description of the story, and I appreciated the typed text. It is very easy to understand and imagine the story.

Unfortunately the concept sketches are not available, and thus the links on the website are dead. Try to fix the links or add a notice of when things will be uploaded, if possible. The web presentation could use some colors (perhaps purple and yellow for Egyptian themeing).

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Reviewer 4:

As mentioned above, it would be nice if the storyboard related more to the concept sketches- besides the theme I had a hard time figuring out how all the concept would go together in one cohesive story. I think you could also make your sketches easier to read, especially the storyboard, with some basic shading/pencil/marker.

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