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Concept Sketch Reviews
Home > Assignments > Concept sketch results > Reviews for David D'Achiardi

David D'Achiardi
the remainders
[review]

StoryboardConcept Sketches
 Vacuumed Treasures Money Vacuum Keyhole Hoses Bank Lockers Presentation
Average Rating
 
Client 1:
Client 2:
Reviewer 3:
Reviewer 4:
1-marginal     2-ok    3-good     4-very good    5-outstanding

Storyboard Vacuumed Treasures: innovativeness and potential

Client 1:

The idea of sucking money out of the keyholes of lockers via a special vacuum is very creative, but not very intuitive. You'd have to test whether players would be able to figure out that that's what they're supposed to do.

How would you represent money going from the locker into the vacuum? If you actually move physical objects, then you have to move them back. Maybe lights moving along the hoses?

Does a single locker have an infinite amount of money, or would it run out at some point and you'd have to move the hose to a new locker?

If the players put a hose in a locker that doesn't have any money, how would you communicate to them that the locker is empty? They may just think they don't understand the game properly.

Is there any visual representation in the vacuum of the treasure they are collecting? That could be very satisfying.

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Client 2:

This sounds like a fun activity. I like the idea of pulling money out of the safe through the keyhole.

Is there "gameplay" other than just try all the hoses and try all the keyholes? Maybe there could be a little more of a "game" where you get some kind of feedback from the system other than just the money working and the keys fitting.

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Reviewer 3:

This looks like a fun puzzle matching game. It also requires teamwork, mental, and potentially physical skills. As I read the storyboard, I was wondering what motivation the players had for stealing the money. Perhaps the money could give them access to a higher level or another room. Or, the complexity of the game could be increased. If players find the easiest configuration, they siphon out money, if they find a harder configuration they siphon out jewels, etc. As they get to harder and harder configurations, they get more valuable items. This would give players incentive to return and keep playing.

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Reviewer 4:

Great game idea. I like how the team has to work together to complete the bank robbery. But this game may be easier for a larger group to complete than a smaller group. With the wrist bands there is a way to tell how many people scanned into a room so a smaller team could be required to steal less money than a larger team. Also, how will the group know they are thieves when they enter the room? Some sort of indicator would be good.

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Money Vacuum

Client 1:

Are the hoses connected to the vacuum when the players come in? It sounds like players have to figure out that they need to connect the hoses to the vacuum, and then to the lockers. How will you disconnect the hoses for the next group? Do you need to? It seems like you might have enough gameplay with moving the hoses between lockers and cranking, you might not need the mystery of what to do with the hoses to be gameplay as well.

Can the players move the vacuum around the room or is it bolted to the floor?

Ah, here you explain that physical bills are moving through the hose. But if that is the case, how would you get the bills back up to the lockers for the next group?

How is the crank connected to the fan? Do you want the crank to really power a fan, or just look/sound like it is powering a fan? A lot of questions remain unresolved.

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Client 2:

A fan can certainly be activated by a crank. It's a fun input device. How much vacuum does the fan need to actual pull to bring money through the tubes? Would money really travel down the paths? If so, how would it reset?

It could be an electric fan instead of an actual manual fan. It would still require a lot of air probably to really move bills.

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Reviewer 3:

This is an interesting contraption. My main question is: how does the vacuum mechanism work? You describe the mechanism inside, but you don't actually show it in the sketch. If you drew a cross section - such that the outside and inside mechanisms are visible - this concept would be much easier to understand. It is also unclear how this device would reset itself. Can it run backwards and push the money back into the safes?

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Reviewer 4:

Great money vacuum concept. I like that there was a physical aspect of cranking the vacuum. How will the fan get the bills, isn't some sort of suction needed? Or are the bills already in the Vacuum and hooking up the right hose to the right locker allows some bills out of the Vacuum? Also, how will the game reset once the bills are in the Vacuum?

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Keyhole Hoses

Client 1:

How flexible are the hoses? What are they made of? Can hoses retain an irregular shape like that? Are they transparent, so players can see inside them? This sketch doesn't really show how the hoses will work.

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Client 2:

What actual material is this made of? If it's flexible enough to curve to get to various safes, can it just be jammed into any shaped hole?

I would also think about how this would be fabricated. It could be trickly depending on material.

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Reviewer 3:

The general concept for this devices makes sense, but I do not understand how the hose will latch onto the vacuum or the safe. Is it malleable? Is it metal? How will this game element be self-resetting? It would be helpful to know what material you plan to use and how the ends of the hose looks from a mechanical perspective.

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Reviewer 4:

I really like that the hoses are different shapes so that not all hoses match all lockers. Another way to make this harder would be to not make the hose shape match the locker shape. The players would have to try each hose in each locker but only certain hoses would work. It would be more of a guess and check and therefore take more of a players time and make the player have to coordinate which hoses to try with each other, inducing more teamwork.

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Bank Lockers

Client 1:

How does the locker know when a hose of the correct shape has been connected to it? And that the hose is currently connected to the vacuum, and that the vacuum crank is being turned? Where is all that information getting collected?

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Client 2:

The lockers seems simple. I like the general look and feel. Do the numbers mean anything?

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Reviewer 3:

My main question about the bank lockers is how will you make the key holes different enough such that only certain tubes can fit into the holes? The idea of pattern matching works well with this theme, but the details of how the parts fit together mechanically are unclear. Also, if the keyholes are over sized, what will stop players form reaching in and taking the money? Furthermore, how will the final score (total amount of money) be calculated? This is a good start, but showing the differences between key holes and describing the mechanism more clearly will help a great deal.

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Reviewer 4:

I really like the idea that not all lockers have money in them. Also there should be a way to detect if a locker has already been emptied, so that it can't be emptied multiple times in one game.

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Sketching technique, clarity of storyboard and concept sketches, and their web presentation

Client 1:

I understand where you are going with your storyboard, and what's happening in your sketches, but it would have been easier to judge this if the concept sketches gave a better idea of how the game was going to work.

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Client 2:

Sketches were alright, but could use a little more detail that explains how some things would be done. Notes right on the drawing are always useful.

Storyboard was clear.

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Reviewer 3:

The sketches are very well done, especially the shading on the vacuum and hose concepts.The website was nicely laid out and easy to use. Well done!

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Reviewer 4:

The sketches were very good and clear. I really liked your use of two-point perspective and your shading, especially on the odd shape of the hose. Also, very clear presentation overall.

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