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Dan Stavins
tinkerdoodles
[review]

StoryboardConcept Sketches
 The Great Escape - Hieroglyphics Look Above Mammal Memory Hidden Figures Presentation
Average Rating
 
Client 1:
Client 2:
Reviewer 3:
Reviewer 4:
Reviewer 5:
1-marginal     2-ok    3-good     4-very good    5-outstanding

Storyboard The Great Escape - Hieroglyphics: innovativeness and potential

Client 1:

I like your general build up of getting out of a tomb! There are a couple challenges about your room though: mainly that we don't have a ceiling! The Open World rooms are open topped. Also, throwing an object can go right out of the room! If you want to throw something, it may need to be captive somehow.

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Client 2:

We can't hide the exit door. The exit door must be visible and unlocked at all times in case of emergency. Is there another goal you can give this room, besides "find the way out"?

I like the mechanic of trying to hit something with a rock - people like doing that kind of stuff. These rooms aren't going to have ceilings, though, so that the sprinklers from the overall venue can get to each of the rooms if there's a fire. You could have a death mask jut out from the top of the wall over the players, but you'd have to ensure that the players couldn't accidentally throw a rock out of the room and hit someone on the other side.

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Reviewer 3:

I like the theme and think there's a lot of potential. One of my first thoughts though was how the players will realize they need to run away. I think it's a bit of a leap for them to make. I like how the countdown timer creates a sense of urgency, however I don't think it makes that much sense in this context. Finally, I'm a bit worried about the fact that a rock needs to be thrown, this seems hard to reset and could be dangerous.

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Reviewer 4:

This room theme is very popular in movies, books, and games, yet it interprets it in a creative and innovative way. For example, throwing a rock at a death mask is something that I would not have thought of immediately. Although this is a "new" gag, perhaps if there is some more guidance, users can more easily figure out the solution. For example, instead of writing "above" on the message, if it suggested hitting the mask with the stones, it may help the user more. I think the user will see the death mask eventually if they are trying to scan every corner of the room, which they should be if they want to solve your challenge. Also, since it is a tomb, and the main part of a tomb is a casket, perhaps you can incorporate some kind of gag involving the tomb. For example, instead of the hieroglyphics telling the user a message, what if a hologram of a ghost appears and talks to the users?

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Reviewer 5:

I like that there is a physical task required as well as a mental puzzle. Would have to make sure the players understand exactly what their role is (did they steal from the tomb? are they trying to but showed up too late?). Not clear why the mask ended up on the ceiling (and I think the open world rooms won't have ceilings?).

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Look Above

Client 1:

I like this. I think it makes sense, and is kind of fun to decode.

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Client 2:

I like that solving this puzzle requires the group to view the room from a different perspective.

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Reviewer 3:

I think this concept is the most intuitive and well suited for the theme and challenge. Maybe it could be made a bit more difficult by having an entire wall of hieroglyphics and having some in a different color.

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Reviewer 4:

This hieroglyphic message is very clear, and I don't think users will have trouble reading the word "above". This is a feasible concept because it is just painting words on a wall, or drilling a panel onto the wall. Perhaps, to add more difficulty, the decoded message can be cryptic, so that even if they were to decode the hieroglyphics into English, the message will not be clear immediately. Using hieroglyphics is a good choice for conveying a message, because it will contribute to the user experience of being in Ancient Egypt.

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Reviewer 5:

Hieroglyphics are clear conceptually, and I think the players would easily understand that they need to decode them. Making the "key" harder to find in the room might make this a bit tricker? Maybe they can only see the key/hieroglyphics when they shine a (black light) flashlight on the wall? Would have to make sure the flashlights got put back / stayed in the room though (maybe attach to the wall somehow).

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Mammal Memory

Client 1:

Not sure what you want to communicate with this sketch - I don't see any mention of it in your storyboard.

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Client 2:

I have no idea what you're trying to communicate here. What do the animals have to do with the game? I didn't see anything about it in the storyboard. Why are there buttons with animals on them?

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Reviewer 3:

I'm not sure players will be able to make the connection here. I think this clue helps them see the answer after the fact, but will not help lead them to the answer. It also doesn't fit the theme as well as your first concept.

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Reviewer 4:

It is unclear which part of the game this giraffe head plays a role in, because I don't think it came out in the storyboard. Perhaps this is another iteration of the concept for the hieroglyphics telling the users to look up. Or, perhaps there is a giraffe button that the users need to find, to complete the challenge when they see the giraffe hieroglyphic. Maybe the user needs to remember which mammal lit up when they first entered the room to escape the room at the very end. Perhaps you can incorporate the other hieroglyphic message to look "above" in this concept. Too busy trying to decode the hieroglyphics, the users will probably forget what mammal flashed in the beginning of the game. This is a simple, feasible design, as the only thing that you need to design is the flashing animal figure, and a button that coincides with it, but it is an interesting game. On the user-experience, this might be more intuitive than throwing rocks at the death mask if the user is able to remember the animal that showed up in the beginning.

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Reviewer 5:

I think this one would be a bit less intuitive, because we're already coded to think of hieroglyphics as letters instead of pictures.

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Hidden Figures

Client 1:

Not sure what you want to communicate with this sketch - I don't see any mention of it in your storyboard. Dirt is very hard to reset automatically with no staff.

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Client 2:

I like the concept of brushing dust away to reveal hieroglyphs, but this would only work for the very first group that enters the room (unless you can think of a way to reset the dust back to its original position every time).

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Reviewer 3:

This makes sense and is pretty cool, I just wonder how you would go about resetting it. The main way I could see it working is if you used a screen or something and it had sensors to detect when someone was wiping at it.

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Reviewer 4:

The hieroglyphics hidden behind the dust is clever and will add to the difficulty of the challenge. Perhaps users will not even find it the first time around within the given time limit. On the other hand, how is this dusty veil self-resetting? Once the users wipe off the "dust", how will it dust back again? Also, I think the removing of dust from a wall, even if it is not real dust, is not a very positive user experience. Perhaps instead of a dust veil, there could be a sliding brick piece that reveals the message after triggering something. This mechanism will automatically close and self-reset once the users exit the room.

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Reviewer 5:

Not entirely sure how this works. What would "wiping away the dust" entail / how would it be reset? Would it be a touch screen? I do like that this makes it a bit tricker / less initially obvious. Could potentially be included in the early hieroglyphic idea to make the key more difficult to use.

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Sketching technique, clarity of storyboard and concept sketches, and their web presentation

Client 1:

Nice storyboard. Sketches don't seem to connect to what you're trying to show.

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Client 2:

I mostly understood your sketches and concepts. However, I think you might have left some big ideas out of your storyboard... either that, or the Mammal Memory concept sketch has nothing to do with the game you want to make. Also, I would be grateful if you'd make your site so that both the storyboard and the concept sketches are accessible from a single page, so I wouldn't have to go back to the [url] page to switch between them.

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Reviewer 3:

The storyboard and concepts were clear, however they could use more detail. Your website was easy to navigate and went with the theme well.

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Reviewer 4:

The sketches for the storyboard are simple and easy to interpret. The concept sketches are also simple, but lack the detail that is needed to fully understand the different components of the room. For example, for the hieroglyphics hidden in the dust, it is unclear what exactly the "dust" is made of and how it will self-reset when someone wipes it away. Also, I think you introduced a new concept for the "Mammal Memory" piece, but it lacked an explanation, making it difficult to understand which part of the storyboard it fit in. The website is simple and easy to read. The use of brown paper for the sketches, gives the feeling of Ancient Egypt and sand dunes. I wish that your storyboard was centered on the page, though!

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Reviewer 5:

Storyboard was really clear and informative, and the websites were easy to navigate. I would have found a couple of sentences of explanatory text under the concept sketches really helpful, because I'm not sure I entirely understood all of them.

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