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Jeremy Hare
the great s cape
[review]

StoryboardConcept Sketches
 Coolant Calamity! Beyond the Wall Fog Machine Pipes Presentation
Average Rating
 
Client 1:
Client 2:
Reviewer 3:
Reviewer 4:
1-marginal     2-ok    3-good     4-very good    5-outstanding

Storyboard Coolant Calamity!: innovativeness and potential

Client 1:

I like that the game fits the the theme of the room. How would you reset it for the next group that comes in? If you have something from inside the holes poke outwards so the pipes fall to the floor, you have to make sure the pipes are durable enough to get dropped on the floor once every few minutes.

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Client 2:

This looks like a well thought out and fun game! The visuals and play experience tie nicely to the room's theme.

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Reviewer 3:

I think it's great! I love that there's potential for everyone there to help, since the activity of putting up the pipes can be accomplished by any number of people, and the experience seems like it would be very immersive. My only hesitation is that, with a photo on the wall of the correct pipe layout, the room might be a bit too simple to figure out, and then not a significant physical challenge to complete. Maybe there can be a color-code, and when the smoke comes out of different pipes it appears different colors. Or maybe there's another layer to the puzzle, where they have to figure out how to place the pipes.

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Reviewer 4:

Nice puzzle, and easy to reset. It might be more interesting to leave out the clue and make the puzzle come together in a tricky way that requires some careful thought. I like the alternating "gas leaks"

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Beyond the Wall

Client 1:

What sort of sensor can detect whether fog is entering a tube? Is the sensor likely to be triggered by regular air traveling through the tube? You can't just sense for the presence of a pipe fitting at the entrance of the tube, because the pipe may not be connected to where the fog is originally coming out from. Maybe you could have RFID tags at the beginning and end of each pipe that the player moves, and for whatever pipe is placed over the hole currently spewing fog, check if the other end of that pipe is placed over the beginning of a permanent duct, and then light up the other end of that permanent duct? I don't know if that would work, but I also don't understand the way you're doing it now.

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Client 2:

As pointed out in the description, multiple fog machines will probably be needed to get enough volume to be visible at the end of the pipeline.

The gameplay looks challenging enough to engage a large group of people for a couple of minutes.

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Reviewer 3:

A great idea for how to give the pipes a specific positioning! This is simple, cheap, but effective in your goal. I liked how you mentioned the sensors and lights at either end of the pipes. One thing to consider is that the pipes won't have specific "ends", at least from the adventurer's point of view, so you'll actually have to put lights and sensors at both ends of every pipe (not knowing which end the user will attach a pipe to).

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Reviewer 4:

Ah this is clever. I like that if you plug the wrong pipes in, the fog comes out another hole. The feedback of the fog and lights is a great idea - makes it engaging.

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Fog Machine

Client 1:

You would probably want to separate the fog machine from the first hole with another permanent duct, so a player couldn't reach into the hole and put their hand inside the machine.

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Client 2:

These fog machines tend to leave a residue, which may begin to impede gameplay as the pipes become slimy. Maybe consider using light and side-emitting fiber optic cables to pass "coolant" through?

If fog is used, a standard clothes dryer booster fan may help propel the fog though the tubes.

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Reviewer 3:

Seems reasonable, especially considering that it's a product that already exists and is relatively inexpensive. I appreciated that you addressed the concern of the fog being too thin once it's been rerouted through several pipes. My only concern is the refill rate required (6-8 hours), as that seems like more than 5wits would prefer, but I'm sure that could be fixed with a different machine or a device to automatically refill it. Great job!

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Reviewer 4:

Nice and simple - good idea to use an OTS component to make this work. My only comment would be that this relies on staff to replenish the machine, which might be a big ask in a busy place.

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Pipes

Client 1:

I like that you've considered making the joint diameters equal size so the holes in the wall are all equal size, and making the pipes out of PVC to facilitate the flow of the fog, while theming them to look like metal.

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Client 2:

How these pipes attach will be a critical part of the feel of the gameplay. Perhaps use large magnets to attach the pipes to steel flanges in the wall?

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Reviewer 3:

Nice idea! I like that the pvc pipes will be light enough to easily lift a large pipe, that's definitely a pro of that material.

You didn't specify a reset mechanism, but my assumption is that you'd have a mechanism to push the pipes off of their connections and back on to the floor. (If you had a different idea, my apologies). In that case, I'm concerned that your pvc pipes will crack after repeated drops. Additionally, they won't feel at all like a metal pipe. I'd suggest that you either embrace the plastic look, or find a different material that's more sturdy, and more similar in feel to metal.

Disregarding material selection though, I like the idea of different lengths that you have to figure out how to position.

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Reviewer 4:

How will the pipes make a positive connection with the wall? It might be worth thinking about how users might try to force the wrong pipe into the wrong connection.

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Sketching technique, clarity of storyboard and concept sketches, and their web presentation

Client 1:

Very clear. I just wish I could access the concept sketches from the storyboard page, and vice versa.

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Client 2:

This game is clearly described and well thought out!

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Reviewer 3:

Very clean presentation! The storyboard site doesn't have a "storyboard" title anywhere, which made it marginally more difficult to know whether I was looking at storyboard or concept sketch, but that's not a big deal at all. Website was simple, but concise. Overall, sketches were really nice (nice pipe shading). Storyboard was very clearly and logically laid out.

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Reviewer 4:

Nice sketches! Good use of perspective and markers on the pipes.

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