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Concept Sketch Reviews
Home > Assignments > Concept sketch results > Reviews for Ryan Zimmerman

Ryan Zimmerman
6 wits
[review]

StoryboardConcept Sketches
 Cerberus' Lullaby Pandora's Box Apollo's Lyre Pan Flute Presentation
Average Rating
 
Client 1:
Client 2:
Reviewer 3:
Reviewer 4:
Reviewer 5:
1-marginal     2-ok    3-good     4-very good    5-outstanding

Storyboard Cerberus' Lullaby: innovativeness and potential

Client 1:

I think I like your general idea: Open box requires lullaby

I think it makes sense and is kind of a fun puzzle to try to work through.

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Client 2:

This is a really neat idea. I think it is just the right amount of mystery if done right, and the input being instruments is a lot of fun.

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Reviewer 3:

I don't see the connection between the box, the dog, and the musical instruments. There is little coherence between them, and I don't see how one leads to another. To have some coherence, consider having the box be a musical box. But even then, how does the god fit into the picture? Can you make the dog also a musical dog? What level of skill is needed for players to play the instruments? If someone has never played any of the instruments before (such as myself), what would they do in that case?

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Reviewer 4:

Overall, the theme sounds interesting and you have tried to have a good WOW factor included. I have the following comments/suggestions.

1. I am not quite sure what the losing scenario is. I am guessing that the players will lose if they are not successful to accomplish the goals in a certain amount of time. I think using good AV effects might make the room more interesting in the sense that players need to be mindful of time.

2. I am not sure what is the purpose of the dog being projected on the wall. My guess at the moment is that the reactions from the dog can tell the players how much time they have left but I am not sure about that.

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Reviewer 5:

I like the flow of the storyboard and the challenge makes sense and is innovative. I think it has potential as well, but one thing I'm worried about is how the music can be deciphered, especially if there is extraneous noise from the 3-headed dog. What would the room for error be like while the players play the instrument?

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Pandora's Box

Client 1:

The box seems simple and nice. It might be tricky to actually keep it locked open. There will be some mechanics in there that could be tricky. I like you sketch. I think it makes it clear. The Smoke release might be tricky, but I think the air would be a cool effect.

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Client 2:

This is a good sketch. I would like to see more detail about how the box is unable to be closed however. I imagine this is with a pneumatic cylinder? Also, how is it made clear that the guests are trying to close the box in order to escape?

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Reviewer 3:

The box is feasible, and can be designed to satisfy the challenge constraints in a number of ways. But I would suggest making it more interesting in some way. Perhaps have some puzzle on the front of the box that when you solve the pattern appears. For instance, you can draw the pattern in thermochromic ink.

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Reviewer 4:

I like the idea of the Pandora box as it adds to the mysteriousness of the room. I have a few suggestions about that.

1. I am guessing that there is nothing in the box. I was thinking it would be more exciting if the instructions about how to play the musical instruments could be mentioned inside the box.

2. I am guessing that the smoke generator mechanism will be placed in the pedestal. It would be great if you can illustrate a bit more on how it works upon opening the door of the box and how it is connected to the box.

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Reviewer 5:

The box has feasible features and has potential. I like the elements that add to the experience as well, such as the air puff and speaker sounds. I think the concept sketch could be more explicit about some other necessary features about the box though. For example, how would it be locked open? If the box is intended to burst open from the slightest touch, how would the box sense this?

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Apollo's Lyre

Client 1:

I'm worried about this thing breaking. I'm just not sure how much abuse this will be able to handle from people pulling on the strings. Maybe there's a way to sense the wires by capacitive touch, and that way they can be very thick and sturdy.

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Client 2:

I would find a different way to do this than to use actual strings. People are unbelievably rough on props and the strings will break constantly. Keep in mind that everything in these rooms will be abused all day every day.

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Reviewer 3:

since players would have to play the musical instruments correctly AND simultaneously, I think it would be very difficult to determine when those conditions are both satisfied. No two groups are going to play the instruments in exactly the same way.

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Reviewer 5:

This concept is feasible and would likely work for its purpose. Maybe you could add something more to the symbols to make them more obvious to the user. For example, if they were taking too long to figure out the puzzle, the symbols could glow. One problem I see with this is that it would be hard to reset after each team. You could tell the users to put it back, but you can't make sure they would do this and isn't very fool-proof.

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Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Pan Flute

Client 1:

I think this will be very difficult to sense. If it is big enough to discourage people from putting there mouths on it, it might be hard to detect any airflow.

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Client 2:

Great drawing and neat input device. This could be built just as drawn.

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Reviewer 3:

People WILL put their mouth on the flute cavities, no matter how large you make them. The flute should be fully enclosed so that it is physically impossible to touch it with mouth. A different method of playing it should be used - such as a mechanical "mouth".

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Reviewer 4:

I appreciate that you are thinking about different types of musical instruments, i.e., instruments that are not played just by hands. I am a bit concerned about the Pan Flute for the following reasons.

1. You mentioned that the cavities are big so that players will not have mouth contact with them. I am assuming that players still need to blow in them and I think there would still be a great chance for parts of the cavities to be in contact with players' mouths. I personally would hesitate interacting with this device.

2. I am guessing that you are planning to produce the sounds electronically here as it becomes significantly harder to blow in the Pan Flute and produce sound when the cavity is larger.

3. Again some sort of mechanism that tells the players if they have played the correct note will be very helpful.

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Reviewer 5:

I like how you considered the problem of people putting their mouths on the instrument. I think this idea is feasible with some testing of the pressure transducers. The symbols might not have to be obscured because the challenge already involves deciphering the box. I feel like either the box or the instruments should have easy to decipher elements, so the players can at least have some clue as to what they should be finding.

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Sketching technique, clarity of storyboard and concept sketches, and their web presentation

Client 1:

Nice sketches. Everything was clear and I like how you labeled things. On the storyboard, it was difficult sometimes to read you writing. Other than that: it was great.

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Client 2:

Everything is very clear and well laid out. Nice work.

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Reviewer 3:

The sketches were well done, but I found the handwritten text incredibly difficult to read and some words I was just unable to understand at all because they were written illegibly.

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Reviewer 4:

Generally, the idea and the WOW factor is there and the storyboard is clear in showing what the players need to do in order to win. However, it is not very clear what would be the losing scenario.

The sketches are clear and easy to understand. It would be great if you could explain more about the details. For example what kind o sensors you will use or show the inside of the pedestal.

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Reviewer 5:

The presentation and concepts were clear. A small note is that I would try to avoid using colored pencils in the future because the texture can be distracting. Something that appears solid would work better, such as marker or using a software that could do it. Although I could distinguish the storyboard elements, I would try making the lines in your storyboard straighter so that it's even clearer.

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