2.744
Concept Sketch Reviews
Home > Assignments > Concept sketch results > Reviews for Sami Yamani

Sami Yamani
moss piglets
[review]

StoryboardConcept Sketches
 Power Outage in the International Space Station Solar Cell Power Cord Power Board Trampoline Presentation
Average Rating
 
Client 1:
Reviewer 2:
Reviewer 3:
Reviewer 4:
1-marginal     2-ok    3-good     4-very good    5-outstanding

Storyboard Power Outage in the International Space Station: innovativeness and potential

Client 1:

I think that this game has some pretty big safety problems. Also, the doors to OpenWorld games are typically standard.

return to top of page


Reviewer 2:

The Power Outage in the International Space Station sounds like a fun room to play.

I really like the idea of the trampoline floor to make the players feel like they are in

space. I would motivate the reason for the power outage for the purposes of

storytelling, was it a meteor shower, are they installing more power capacity, what

is going on? I was somewhat confused by the first two drawings as they both seem

to look like the inside of a room. Are there two rooms separated by the door?

Consider making the first drawing as if you were staring at a box from the outside if

it is truly the room/game entrance. That said, I really like that Sami has considered

how the room entrance will look like, this would truly add to the players'

experience. The decorations of the room seem to truly convey the space experience;

however, the limited space inside the room might make it challenging to truly

convince the players they are in orbit. Maybe adding the trampoline effect to the

walls could convey a bigger space? I am also concerned that the players might

simply choose to have their tallest player attempt all the connections as it seems to

be challenging to have multiple players jumping around at the same time with

precision. I would encourage Sami and his team to think of other activities that

might engage multiple players at once. Just having panels on two separate walls

might improve the way the game is played in this regard.

return to top of page


Reviewer 3:

I like the concept of connecting wires while jumping on a trampoline, and it seems innovative and intriguing. Have you thought about incorporating other elements in the experience to add another layer of use experiences? As for the trampoline, if the room is dark, the edges of the trampoline may pose a safety concern as people may fall and injure themselves.

return to top of page


Reviewer 4:

Great idea! I love the use of a trampoline floor (though I have slight concerns with feasibility and safety), and using electromagnets to facilitate self-resetting is smart.

return to top of page



Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Solar Cell Power Cord

Client 1:

Good sketch. This seems to make sense.

return to top of page


Reviewer 2:

The solar cell power cords are a key element in the Power Outage in the

International Space Station concept. Evidently, Sami has thought about the user

experience and alludes to a clear example of how the user might feel pulling on the

power cords (i.e. retractable stanchions). I would reconsider the shape of the power

cord, wouldn't round chords be more credible? The tips of the chords are described

as metallic... consider making the tip reflective or add a separate section that

distinguishes the tip from the rest of the chord. Adding the separate section would

also give it continuity with the connection board concept sketch. What is the

remainder of the chord made of?

return to top of page


Reviewer 3:

The mechanism of operation has been well thought out. Given the twisting an pulling those connectors would be subjected to, I wonder how long will they last.

return to top of page


Reviewer 4:

I think that the power cord idea is viable - you'd just need to make the retracting force strong enough to retract sufficiently. As long as the cords are well-integrated into the room theme, I think it'll work well.

return to top of page



Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Power Board

Client 1:

This is a cool idea. We have had some issues with electromagnets in the past though. Over time, the metal object acquires a magnetic charge and will no longer release.

return to top of page


Reviewer 2:

Although I find the idea of jumping up to connect the power chord, I think that

under the current design it will be challenging to successfully connect to the

connection board. Based on the curvature of the chord, it seems that other than the

tip, the chord is quite flexible. If the tip is only an inch or so thick, there might not be

enough stiffness in the chord to properly direct it into a small connection board slot.

I recommend making the connection board slot larger or tapered so that the chord

is easily directed into the slot, even when considering a small person in midair. Also

consider making the tip longer and stiff such that it can be held from a foot or so

away and directed with precision.

return to top of page


Reviewer 3:

The reset mechanism is sound. By switching off the electromagnets the cords would retract to their original position.

return to top of page


Reviewer 4:

I'm not sure how powerful these electromagnets will have to be in order to get the force you want, and if there will be safety concerns associated with that. Also, consider placing these at various heights so that people of different heights can have fun with it.

return to top of page



Potential, feasibility, user experience and human factors shown in the concept sketch, Trampoline

Client 1:

What are the rough dimensions of this room? There will definitely need to be more room beneath the trampoline.

return to top of page


Reviewer 2:

Sami's sketch conveys how the trampoline effect could be achieved (raised platform

with supports on the edges). The trampoline floor, the wall drawings and the

entrance to and from the space station should truly convey the outer space theme;

however, I am concerned that standing and jumping around with your friends might

be a more isolated (yet engaging and fun!) and distracting experience. As mentioned

before, I recommend adding some squishy/trampoline-like material to the walls

that are also supposed to be in the direction of space such that the space-concept is

further motivated (and it is softer to hit the walls).

return to top of page


Reviewer 3:

As previously mentioned, I wonder whether this may pose a safety concern at the edges of the trampoline - especially if the room is dark. Otherwise, it definitely would be fun to be jumping while trying to do something in the air.

return to top of page


Reviewer 4:

I love the idea of a trampoline simulating a weightless environment, but I don't think your sketch convinces me that it's possible as drawn. It would have to be stiff enough to support the weight of 5 adults, but also bouncy enough for lighter kids to reach the power board and giving it a bouncy feel, all while remaining safe. Consider using multiple panels (like skyzone), which might help alleviate these concerns.

return to top of page



Sketching technique, clarity of storyboard and concept sketches, and their web presentation

Client 1:

Nice sketches. Well laid out website.

return to top of page


Reviewer 2:

Overall, the website is well designed and complete. I find the font a bit distracting

(hard to read) although I recognize that it is a stylistic element. The storyboard

could benefit from a quick read through and spellcheck, there are some blatant

spelling mistakes such as "manula" instead of manual in the second drawing and

"feelong" instead of feeling and "howevere" instead of however in the third drawing.

Some of these mistakes make it difficult to follow the storyline. The navigation

button at the bottom of the screen which reads "Back to Home Page" does not pop

out, as it is the same font, size and color as the titles of the concept sketches and the

storyboard. Consider adding a border or background color so that the user

recognizes it is a navigation button without reading the text.

The concept sketches follow the techniques learned in class. I would rethink the

shading pattern of the solar chord as there is a lot of gradient along the chord with

limited change in curvature, while the faces of the box where the chord is stored have a very small change in shading. Reducing the gradient of shading of the chord,

adding some more curvature to the chord and changing the tones used in the box

would improve depth and curvature. This feedback also applies to the connection

board, where the front end of the cord is shown as facing the light but the faces of

the connection board that also seem to face the light are much darker.

return to top of page


Reviewer 3:

The presentation was mostly clear, the sketches helped conveyed the message well. As for the sketching technique some drawings had elements with an incorrect perspectively. For instance, the panel on the left wall of the trampoline image was drawn with incorrect perspective. Additionally, some of the ellipses were at wrong angles such as the ellipse on image 3 of the storyboard. The drawings would have benefited if the circular and elliptical sketching tools were used.

return to top of page


Reviewer 4:

Good sketches and storyboard, website is simple and clear, only complaint is with the font. It's fine for a title, but hard to read as a caption. In the future, I'd go with a more legible, standard font for the detailed information.

return to top of page