I wanted to take the scarf-ruffle-tie thing from around my neck and strangle him. I had no choice but to quit. It's been a great day, Bob...oh, by the way, here - I took your bag again today, by mistake. I tore up the letter, if that's what you're looking for. How could I not have known you were involved with someone. I can't believe it. How long? Who is it? Some horny herbalist? Is it that checkout girl at the Health-Mart?
All those nights you were gone...I shoud've known you couldn't have that many aikido classes each week. Who is it?! Your aikido instructor? Oh I can just imagine what she's like. If she knows aikido she probably knows the Kamasutra. You're probably having this great tantric sex thing. Are you?
I'm sure she's more evolved than I am, isn't she? More centered! Isn't that their big thing, centeredness? She probably has time to make good money and to meditate. Don't tell me her tofu tastes like lasagna. She knows what shape face she has and where she's going and how to get there neatly. If only I'd been taking karate classes; I would love for these hands to be weapons! Feel free to interrupt me at any time.