Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

This is an unfortunate adage. A stereotypical bad interview, for example, ends with the interviewer telling the applicant "Don't call us, we'll call you." Because it has been repeated so many times, the applicant immediately realizes that they have very little chance of getting what they want. They know that, in fact, the interviewer is unlikely to ever call them. In addition, the interviewer probably doesn't want the annoyance of hearing from someone who will waste his time.

The reason it is such an unfortunate adage is that it gives the speaker something to hide behind. As a result, they do not have to face the uncomfortable situation of an outright rejection. It is truly a cowardly thing to do.

What is even worse for the person the adage is spoken to is that they can never be sure if the "hidden meaning" is really there. That is, the speaker may be indicating that they are very busy and it is simply easier if they were allowed to initiate the contact. This ambiguity leads to even more apprehension and confusion.

Therefore, try to avoid using this phrase at all costs. Instead, explain exactly what you mean. If you intend to reject someone, tell them that. If you really would prefer to initiate contact because of your schedule or other factors, let the person you are talking to know what those factors are.