The Party

I knock on the door, the door opens, and I am in heaven. This is where I belong. The party is where I thrive. As I throw my jacket on the chair, I notice the mood and feel of the party. The lighting is dim, the music is blaring, and the people are everywhere. Awesome.

I am the social shark. I move around from guy to girl to guy again. Everyone loves me. Girls want me, and guys want to be me. I enter the conversation, and people look at me in awe. They know that I am the social force to be reckoned with. I enter a conversation, and then like the wind, I am gone, off to give my social graces to another lucky party-goer.

But wait, there she is. The goddess of my dreams is standing in her group of friends chatting up a typhoon. Gwen is radiant. The gods have truly blessed me tonight with this vision. Wait, she's giving me the first glance, a quick up-and-down. Now, she turns back to her friends. Okay, here comes the moment of truth, the second glance… Wait for it… Yes! There it is. She gave me the second glance. Ah yeah, I am the man. Now's the time for me to move in and make the kill.

"Hey! Who's cheap, scummy leather jacket is this?"

I look behind me at the moron who's trying to yell over the roaring music.

Damn.

Damn. Damn.

This worst of possible situations has come down on me on this blessed night of nights. Franco, the football lineman from Hell, is holding up my jacket. I look back at Gwen, and, damn, she's noticed the huge ape of a man making a scene. Now, I am screwed. Well, let's try to communicate with this monkey. Maybe hand-signals will work…

"Hey, Franco, that's my jacket." I yell.

"Oh, you. Good, now I know whose liquor I'm taking." Franco bellows. And right before my eyes, the freak of nature pulls out my bottle and starts to inhale my whiskey. My bottle. My whiskey. Alright, I have had enough of this. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Ready to take on the world, I whip around, and… standing behind me is my angel.

"Don't worry about him. He is a stupid oaf. All he likes to do is drink all of the time anyways. You are Steve, right?" says Gwen.

I melt on the inside. My dream-made-flesh just spoke to me, let alone touched me. I am butter. She has melted me. Am I still standing? I feel like a pile of putty, ready to be molded in the hands of an artisan like her. Waiting for a response, I sputter something at her. Meaningless dribble, I am sure. I wait for her response, her blessing to me. I am dumbfounded.

The conversation continues about alcohol and how it is used to often to take advantage of women. I just nod my head, and say what she wants to hear. I don't care what she says as long as she is saying it to me. I am bathed in the warm glow of her words. I want this to never end.

Gwen turns around as one of her friends yells from across the room. "It's time to go." says her friend. Gwen turns around and heads off without even a good-bye kiss. Who does she think she's talking to? Get up and leave in the middle of conversation. I am not going to let her get away that easily. Grabbing my jacket, I leave the party.

Outside, Gwen and all of her friends are just sitting around chatting about "this" and "that," so I wait for my opening. As soon as she says bye to her last friend, I pounce.

"Oh hey, sorry I had to leave so quick in there." says Gwen. "My friends get in such a hurry sometimes. I had a good conversation with you. What are you up to now?"

Alright, Steve, here's the moment of truth. Think. What does a maiden like Gwen want to hear? I feel around in my jacket for inspiration.

Grabbing the house key, I think about going home, and maybe taking Gwen along with me, and I say, "Well, I was thinking about going home. But, I think that I am going to have to go inside and call a cab."

"Hey," says Gwen, "I can give you a ride home. I was just going to head out anyways. Here hop in."

"Thanks," I reply. My heart drops to my knees. The Aphrodite of suburbia is giving me a ride home. Alright, Steve, one foot in front of the other, and sit down nice and slowly in the car. Now, don't look too excited. Play it cool.

Driving conversation continues. We talk, and she drives. Things are going well until I realize that I never told her where I live. At that point, I realize that things are going really well. Ah yeah. There ain't no stopping this Romeo. At the next stop sign, I lean over and do what boys and girls do stopped in a car, and something falls out of my pocket. I try to grab it slyly, but she notices.

"What's that?" Gwen says.

"Oh, it's just my ID." I reply.

"Let me see," she answers. So I move to hand it over, and while holding it, I suddenly realize that I didn't bring an ID, and what I have in my hand definitely is not a ID. Sirens start going off in my head. Warning! Panic! I freeze up. Something inside me breaks, and I hand her what was in my pocket.

"Your ID is a condom! Someone's a little precocious. We'll just have to see about that." she says with a smile as she hands it back.

What in the world was that? She didn't throw me out of her car? Wow, lady luck is rolling the dice my way tonight. A little later, I realize that she is waiting for something, so I mention some coy little statement about us "going home together." She sees the bait. Is she gonna take it? Wait for it… Eureka! I just struck oil. She just gave me the "so what's your place like?" line. I am in like Flynn.

We arrive at my place. Here it comes, the climax of my night or the letdown of my life. "So, do you want to come inside?" I ask.

"Sure. I wouldn't mind getting the royal tour." she says. Game. Match point, Steve. I am victorious. As I unlock the front door, I think to myself that this night could not have gone better. I got the girl.