MIT Songs (and Such)

The Engineers' Drinking Song (Lady Godiva)

Words by many many people. Compose some yourself.
disclaimer: We received a complaint last year about publishing this song, as it can be considered demeaning to
women. We consider it a piece of history, however, to be taken as it is. If you are offended by such things, skip to the
next song.
Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride
To show to the royal villagers her fair and pure white hide.
The most observant man of all, an engineer of course,
Was the only man who noticed that Godiva rode a horse.
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the engineers.
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum all day and come along with us.
For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!
She said "I've come a long, long way, and I shall go as far
With the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar."
The men who took her from her steed and lead her to her beer
Were a bleary eyed surveyor and a drunken engineer.
My father was a miner from the Northern Malamute,
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute.
The last time that I saw them, these words rang in my ears,
Princeton's run by Wellesley, Wellesley's run by Yale
Yale is run by Vassar, and Vassar's run by tail
Harvard's run by stiff pricks, the kind you raise by hand.
But MIT's run by engineers, the finest in the land.
MIT was MIT when Harvard was a pup.
And MIT will be MIT when Harvard's time is up.
And any Harvard son of a bitch who thinks he's in our class
Can pucker up his rosy lips and kiss the beaver's ass.
An artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can,
Said the artsman "Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man."
They drank three drinks, the artsman falls, his face was turning green,
But the Engineer drank on and said "It's only gasoline."
The Army and the Navy went out to have some fun.
They went down to the taverns where the fiery liquors run.
But all they found were empties, for the engineers had come,
And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.
Venus was a statue made entirely of stone.
Without a stitch upon her, she was naked as a bone.
On seeing that she had no clothes, an engineer discoursed:
"Why the damn thing's only concrete, and should be reinforced!"
Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho.
The Prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst,
For the Engineer rode the elevator and reached Rapunzel first.
Caesar set out for Egypt at the age of fifty three,
But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free.
And every night when Julius said goodnight at three o'clock,
There was a Roman engineer waiting just around the block!
An engineer once staggered in though the Roderick Gate,
He was carrying a load you would expect to ship by freight.
The only thing that kept him upright and on his course,
Were the boundary conditions and the coriolis force.
Ace Towing roams the streets of Cambridge each and every night,
They tow cars and stow cars and hide them out of sight;
They tried to tow Godiva's horse, the Engineers said "Hey!"
Then towed away their towing truck, and now the Ace must pay!
Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set out for Calais Bay.
They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed on their way.
But the engineers had beat them by a night and a half a day
And though as drunk as ptarmigans, you still could hear them say:
A maiden and an engineer were sitting in the park,
The engineer was working on some research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe ---
While his right hand wrote the figures, his left hand traced the curves.
My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole.
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she's on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant with a bedroom in the rear.
But they don't even speak to me 'cause I'm an engineer.}

Arise Ye Sons of MIT

Music and lyrics by John B. Wilbur '26 (The closest thing MIT has to an old alma mater.)
Arise all ye sons of MIT, in loyal brotherhood.
The future beckons unto ye and life is full and good.
Arise and raise your steins on high; tonight shall ever be
A mem'ry that will never die, ye sons of MIT.
Once more thy sons, oh MIT, return from far and wide
And gather here once more to be renourished by thy side,
And as we raise our steins on high to pledge our love for thee
We join thy sons of days gone by in praise of MIT.
Oh loyal sons of MIT, when clouds of war burn red,
In foreign land on distant sea, your battle line is spread,
To you we raise our steins on high wherever you may be
And join you voices from the sky, ye sons of MIT.}

Arise All Ye of MIT

(The closest thing MIT has to a new alma mater.)
Arise all ye of MIT, in loyal fellowship.
The future beckons unto ye and life is full and good.
Arise and raise your glass on high; tonight shall ever be
A mem'ry that will never die, for ye of MIT.
Thy sons and daughters, oh MIT, return from far and wide
And gather here once more to be renourished by thy side,
And as we raise our glasses on high to pledge our love for thee
We join all those of days gone by in praise of MIT.}

Take Me Back to Tech

I wish that I were back again at Tech on Boylston Street,
Dressed in my dinky uniform so dapper and so neat.
I'm crazy after calculus, I never had enough;
It's hard to be dragged away so young,
It was horribly awfully tough!
Hurrah for Technology, 'ology 'ology oh,
Glorious old Technology, 'ology 'ology oh!
Back in the days that were free from care in the 'ology varsity shop,
With nothing to do but analyze air in an anemometrical top.
The differentiation of the trigonometric pow'rs
The constant pi that made me sigh in those happy days of ours.
Hurrah for Technology, 'ology 'ology oh,
Glorious old Technology, 'ology 'ology oh!
Take me back on a special train to that glorious institute,
I yearn for the inspiration of a technological toot.
I'd shun the quizzical physical profs the chapel and all that,
But how I'd love to go again on a scientific bat.
Hurrah for Technology, 'ology 'ology oh,
Glorious old Technology, 'ology 'ology oh!
C-H-N-O-L-O-G and Y comes after G
(and what does that spell?)
The Massachusetts Institute of Technology!

E to the U du dx!

(aka the Tech Cheer)
E to the U du dx, E to the X dx!
Cosine! Secant! Tangent! Sine!
3 point 1 4 1 5 9!
Integral, radical ??dv
Slipstick, slide rule, M.I.T.!
Technology! Technology! Technology!

The Ballad of 5.60

Disclaimer:The editors apologize for the geekiness of the rest of this section. Those who are offended by such things
should skip to the next section.
(To the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic")
Free energy and entropy were whirling in his brain
With partial differentials and greek letters in their train
While delta, sigma, gamma, theta, epsilon and pi
Were driving him distracted as they danced before his eye.
Glory, glory dear old thermo
Glory, glory dear old thermo
Glory, glory dear old thermo,
We'll pass you by and by.
Heat, Content, and fugacity revolved within his brain
Like molecules and atoms that you never have to name.
And logarithmic functions doing cakewalks in his dreams,
And partial molar quantities devouring chocolate creams.
They asked him on the final if a mole of any gas
In a vessel with a membrane through which Hydrogen could pass
Were compressed to half its volume what the entropy would be
If two-thirds delta-sigma equalled half of delta-P.
(2/3 ??=1/2 ?P)
He said he guessed the entropy would have to equal four
Unless the second law should bring it up a couple more
But then, it might be seven if the Carnot law applied,
Or it might be almost zero if the delta-T should slide.
The professor read his paper with a corrugated brow.
For he knew he'd have to grade it and he didn't quite know how
'Til an inspiration in his cerebellum suddenly smote,
And he seized his trusty fountain pen and this is what he wrote:
Just as you have guessed the entropy, I'll have to guess your grade,
But the second law won't raise it to the mark you might have made.
For it might have been a 100 if your guesses all were good,
But I think it must be zero 'til they're rightly understood.
Glory, glory dear old thermo
Glory, glory dear old thermo
Glory, glory dear old thermo,
We'll try again next term.


(To the tune of "Let It Be")
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Charles Vest comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom: MIT.
And now I find I'm losing
What's remaining of my sanity.
I'm told that that's expected: MIT
MIT, MIT, what have you done to me?
I think that I'm OD'ing; too much technology.
And even though the night is cloudy
There's a light that shines on me.
It must be a laser: MIT.
And if the light proves dangerous
I'll go to the infirmary
Provided it is open: MIT.
MIT, MIT, computer running free
Athena's at the stem of everything I see.
I wake up to the sound of lectures
Some professor's telling me
du/dh=BS - du(dt).
Although the course seems difficult
The catalogue says it's elementary
Everything's so simple: MIT.
MIT, MIT, you weren't true to me.
You promised me an education, and gave me misery.
And when I'm doing a problem set
I find they're all too hard for me.
There will be an answer: MIT.
I'll go and threaten the tool next door
And he will do them all for me.
Cheating is so simple: MIT.
MIT, MIT, I'm as desperate as can be.
If a B's a bit too much I'll settle for a C.
I gaze at the towering building
And emotion sweeps all over me,
Standing on the campus: MIT.
How many times I've thought of jumping
From the buildings that I see.
That is not the answer: MIT.
MIT, MIT, you don't agree with me.
A dome is not a home: MIT.

MIT Commandments

I am Athena thy Goddess
Thou shalt not have false gods before me.
ox1 - Thou shalt not take the name of OLC in vain
ox2 - Thou shalt not eat at Lobdell
ox3 - Thou shalt keep holy the hour of Star Trek
ox4 - Honor thy professors, for they are the source of grades
ox5 - Thou shalt not decrease entropy
ox6 - Thou shalt not connect PWR to GND
ox7 - Thou shalt not sex toads
ox8 - Thou shalt not exceed the speed of light
ox9 - Keep holy the month of IAP for it is a time of rest
oxB - Thou shalt not sleep
oxC - Thou shalt consume caffeine
oxD - Thou shalt not take pass/fail in vain
oxE - Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's HP
oxF - Thou shalt not divide by zero