Mwoh About Boston

Those of you unfamiliar with Boston may think that you are coming to just another American city which uses English as its native tongue. If so, you are due for something of a shock. So: as another of its continuing services, HowToGAMIT has persuaded a true native Bostonian to compile this
Guide to the Language of Boston
Together with Commentary
on the Strange Customs Thereof
with Pronunciation Guide
and a Glossary of Native Vocabulary

Introduction

The accent of Eastern New England is characterized as a "twang." This means that the speech is quick and clipped. Rumor has it that in northern Maine it's so clipped that it sometimes dies off into pure silence. This, however, is not a problem in Boston. A "twang" also means it has a tendency to be nasal. An example of a nasal sound in English is the "ng" at the end of "looking." Now try applying this to a vowel and you've almost got it.
Of course, not all New England accents are the same. People in western New England talk almost like the rest of the country, and many suburbanites are altogether too affected by the bland language of national TV. Proper Bostonians talk almost like Britishers, and Mainiacs have a delightful accent all their own.
It's only in Boston and nearby that one can hear the sweet dulcet tones of pure Bostonian English. While it may at first sound grating and harsh, even cacophonous to the inexperienced ear, you will soon grow to love it. [Editor's note: Ha!]

Specific Characteristics


The disappearing "R" -- This is the most distinctive aspect of Bostonese. The combination "or" is pronounced "awe." In extreme cases it is pronounced very nasally (approximately "woh") as in "Dorchester" (pronounced "Dwohchestah"). Note, however, that "or" and "er" at the end of a word are pronounced "ah." JFK talked about "vigah." No one in Boston thought that strange. The classic example is "I parked my card in Harvard Yard," pronounced "I pahked my cah in Hahvahd Yahd."
The reappearing "R" -- Having discarded so many r's, Bostonions must put them somewhere, and they often end up pronouncing the words ending in "a" as though they ended in "er". Hence "Cuber" (Cuba) and "bananer" (banana).
The mysterious extra syllable -- Many words which you think have one syllable appear to have two. This is even more common in Maine than in Boston. Example: "there" ("they-ah"), "door" ("doe-ah"), and "Revere" ("Re-ve-ah").
The broad "A" -- The words "calf," "half," and "laugh" rhyme and have the same "a" sound as in "father." This is known as a "broad A" and in extreme cases may appear in words like "glass" and "grass."
"Phantom" Negatives -- Bostonians often insert negatives in places never intended, with the meaning only to be figured out in context. Example: Bostonian 1: "I wicked wanna go to Glosta to get some clams!" Bostonian 2: "So don't I!" The second Bostonian just expressed agreement. Go figure.

Localities


Boston - (Baw-ston), a city north of Quincy
Eastie - East Boston
Southie - South Boston
Quincy - (Quin-zee), a city south of Boston
Worcester - (Wus-tah), second largest city in Massachusetts (and New England)
(Westawusta - no man's land.)
Gloucester - (Glos-tah), a seaport north of Boston
Medford - (Meh-fuh), a city north of Boston
Revere - (Re-ve-ah), a city north of Boston
Peabody - (Pee-buh-dee, not Pee-bod-ee, not Pu-ber-ty), another city north of Boston
Down East - Maine
Cradle of Liberty - (1) Boston; (2) Faneuil (fan-yul) Hall
Athens of America - Boston
Hub of the Universe - Boston
Midwest - area around Worcester, Mass.
West - area around Springfield, Mass.
Edge of Civilization - The Connecticut River
Indian Country - land west of the Berkshire Hills
New York - (New Yawk), city, a suburb of Stamford, Connecticut
Ireland - (Island), lawtsa Bostonians are from this country

Food


Tonic - generic term for "soft drinks" (also acceptable). "Soda" ("soder") is gradually filtering into usage from visitors. "Pop" is not used.
Frappe - what you think of as a milkshake.
Milkshake - milk and flavored syrup, shaken up. Contains no ice cream.
Hoodsie - a small ice cream in a paper cup
Jimmies - sprinkles for ice cream
Steamed Clams - the world's best food.
Fried Clams - the world's biggest crime to the world's best food.
Clam Chowder - absolutely heavenly treat; contains no tomato.
Manhattan-Style Clam Chowder - tomato soup. Rumored to contain some clams, but this has never been substantiated.

Government


The Great and General Court - The official name of the legislature; what the legislature likes to call itself.
Those Crooks on Beacon Hill - What everyone else call the legislature.
Governor's Council - A popularly-elected group of nine wheeler-dealers who must approve appointments by the Governor. About 20 years ago they almost had a quorum in the state prison.
Town - Main unit of local government throughout New England. Every square inch of Massachusetts is part of some city or town. Counties have insignificant power.
Town Meeting - An assembly of voters in a town. It runs the local government and is presided over by a moderator.
Selectmen - A board of local magistrates (generally 3 to 5) who run the day-to-day affairs of the town, according to the instructions of the town meeting.
Commonwealth - What Massachusetts is. There are 46 states and four commonwealths (Ma., Pa., Va., and Ky.) in the United States.

Highway Terms

Motorist - someone granted a license to hunt pedestrians and bicyclists.
Pedestrian - a hazardous occupation.
Bicyclist - a suicidal occupation.
Crosswalk - strange paintings on some city streets, the significance of which is unknown to the natives.
Traffic Light - a signalling device for drivers; red means stop, green go, and yellow accelerate. Red and yellow together mean to stop in all directions - pedestrians crossing. Blinking green means to be prepared for the light to turn red.

Miscellaneous:


Harvard - (Hah-vahd), a small liberal arts college up the creek.
Blue Laws - laws left over from the Puritan days, which say that anything you want to do on Sundays, you can't. Recently partially repealed.
Yankee - (1) to a foreigner, an American; (2) to a Southerner, a Northerner; (3) to a Northerner, a New Englander; (4) to a New Englander, a Vermonter; (5) to a Vermonter, someone who eats apple pie for breakfast.
Common - a park in the center of a city or town. Generally has public buildings and churches clustered around it.
Bubbla - a water fountain.
Barrel - a wastebasket.
Townie - a young native of more backward parts of the Boston area. Characterized by their Trans Ams (in males of the species), big hair (in females of the species), and use of phrases such as "That would be a wicked pissa" and "Let's go down Joey's for a tonic."
Wanna Go? - Do you want to fight?
A Whole Notha ... A totally different thing.
Wicked - (adj.) very. Ex.: Kiss 108 is a wicked awesome radio station.
Wicked pissa - something really good.
Wicked f***ing pissa - just about the best thing in the whole world.