Here are some interesting grettings for your answering machine.
- You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a
garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a
message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we
don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.
- Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
- Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm
open to suggestions.
- Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left
me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks.
- Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your
message to myself with one of these magnets.
- Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in
the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the
toast is done.... (Cachunk!)
- Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just
eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say,
if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just
hold it up to the phone.
- Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO
depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner,
but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to
me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep.
- Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal.
Voice 2: I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that.
- Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub,
and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the
office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with
me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
- Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim,
push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to
Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong
number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button
pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off
anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone
system.
- (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a
message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your
name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your
name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave
your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for
extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want
to leave your number and the time you called, please press star
twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and (beep).
- This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your
name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach
you, and I'll think about returning your call.
- You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile
Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now.
At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list
of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice
day.
- You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract
Center. Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and
destination of incoming bogey. TNR Surveillance will scramble.
If you do not respond, this unit will assume incoming,
non-urgent.
41West |
East Campus |
Larry@mit.edu