From <@mitvma.mit.edu:PSHAWCRO@NAS.BITNET> Thu May 11 21:54:27 1995 Return-Path: <@mitvma.mit.edu:PSHAWCRO@NAS.BITNET> Date: Thu, 11 May 95 21:13:00 EDT From: Paul Shawcross Subject: directions to floorspace R us in DC To: larry larry Text item: directions to floorspace R us in DC For anyone planning to crash at my place on the way to/from the Tony memorial, here are the directions to my place from Boston. The key part is to call me (202) EEEL-MAW and let me know when you will show. Otherwise, I will not be there and you will not get in. First: the cool zen directions for serious road-trippers (as told by Bart Mallio ) The first thing we gotta do Is put miles and miles of tar-- Black striped tar and concrete-- Between you and me and this city, Plunge south: past the decaying seaports And insurance pirate havens of Connecticut, South, through the adrenaline-addled Skyline and blowing trash of Manhattan; South, across the bridge, and deep, deep, deep Into the pungent chemical heartland Of New Jersey Don't take Route 80! Eschew the Westernmost Conspiracy. Bring plenty of cigarettes. Bring caffeine. Bring your best friends (Courtney, feeling angry; Kurt, feeling sad; Doughty, feeling whimsy; and Liz-- Who knows all too well what lies in store for all of us). I can see you in the instrument lights. I can see the set of your jaw and the calm Grey glitter in your eyes. We are out of here tonight! Springsteen would be proud! Waits would smile! It is later now, and quieter. Invisible we glide down The coast. Somewhere a bass thrums. Now I'm behind the wheel. Grey steel whispers along a rain-soaked throughway. Wipers keep a dim, snare-brush tattoo; we draw closer. The law, Sensing the rightness of our cause, blows by us in incandescent Red and blue. Delaware's a yellow-sodium dream. Baltimore sleeps Fitfully. At the Fort McHenry tunnel, We toss our hazmats out of the car. Riding the shockwave Of the resulting fireball through the maze of concrete We are delivered into Maryland The truth is not far! The truth is not distant! The refracting pool, the engulfed cathedral, giant food-- All these wonders, all these miracles await us! D.C., the capitol, the sprawl -- the motor guns us Through the outer loops. Passing Fort George G. Meade, invisible sensors scan bar codes Hidden on our inmost thoughts. Philip Dick, behind me In the cargo bay, murmurs unheard Aramaic. There is a squeal of brakes. A shudder. Doors fly open. It is almost sunrise. Okay, and for those of you not zen enough to navigate based only on that: Out of Boston I recommend taking the Mass turnpike to Worcester to Hartford to rte 95. Take 95 through NYC and take the NJ Turnpike out. (Avoid route 80) Eventually you end up back on Route 95. When closing on DC, 95 splits into 95 and 495. You want 495. Going westward, even. Drive about 9 miles on 495 and take route 355 south (becomes Wisconsin Avenue) (This is exit 34. It occurs right before the junction of 495 and 270) The tricky part about this is that to go south you have to turn right just after you exit (there is a sign telling you this, but most people miss it and drive north for a few miles) Drive around 8 miles or so down 355/Wisconsin Pass the cathedral on the left. Curse it and avert your eyes Shortly afterwards, pass the wall of the Russian Embassy on your right. Look shifty. My building is the next one on the right - 2500 Wisconsin Ave Find a place to park. (Recommended place to look: Take a right just after the building (onto Calvert). Drive 1 block and take a right on Tunlaw. Park. If you can't find any parking, try Calvert on the other side of Wisconsin. The door that you see in the side of the big building you've been circling (2500 Wisconsin Avenue, aka "Carrion House") is mine. It's the only door on Tunlaw for about 150 yards. (The next one is the Russian Embassy, so be careful.) Bang on door. If you didn't call ahead to (202) FEEL-MAX, you will be picked up by the embassy guards and put in a jar to rot.
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