From CROTINGER%MIT.MFENET@NMFECC.ARPA Sun Mar 12 17:54:17 1989 Date: Sat, 11 Mar 89 22:06:54 PST From: CROTINGER%MIT.MFENET@NMFECC.ARPA Subject: New element discovered!!! To: AMIGA-UG@ATHENA.MIT.EDU Comment: From CROTINGER@MIT.MFENET on 12-MAR-1989 01:07:01.09 EST From: PFCVAX::SCHWARTZ 11-MAR-1989 19:48 To: KRUEGER,CROTINGER Subj: sound like anyplace you know? From: PFCVAX::MYER 11-MAR-1989 18:10 To: MACHUZAK,BROM,SCHWARTZ Subj: From: NERUS::CASEY "Jeff" 10-MAR-1989 14:14 To: GUSS,MYER,ANDERSON Subj: thought you would enjoy this... From: PFCVAX::CHAOSMAIL Date: 8-MAR-1989 17:50:18 Description: New element discovered Received: from life.ai.mit.edu (TCP 20015020120) by MC.LCS.MIT.EDU 7 Mar 89 17:56:45 EST Received: from decwrl.dec.com by life.ai.mit.edu; Tue, 7 Mar 89 17:56:34 EST Received: by decwrl.dec.com (5.54.5/4.7.34) id AA20237; Tue, 7 Mar 89 14:55:10 PST Date: Tue, 7 Mar 89 14:55:10 PST Message-Id: <8903072255.AA20237@decwrl.dec.com> Received: by decwrl.dec.com (5.54.5/4.7.34) for bboard@wheaties.ai.mit.edu; id AA20237; Tue, 7 Mar 89 14:55:10 PST From: montalvo%crltrx.DEC@decwrl.dec.com (Fanya S. Montalvo) To: bboard@wheaties.ai.mit.edu Subject: New element discovered Article 438 in decpa.fun: From: horning (Jim Horning) Subject: New element discovered Message-ID: <8903062355.AA17969@jumbo.pa.dec.com> Date: 6 Mar 89 15:54:00 PST Sender: horning@jumbo.dec.com Distribution: decpa Lines: 53 To: DECPA.Fun Fcc: 89-Sent ------- Forwarded Message From: lazowska@krakatoa.cs.washington.edu ------- Forwarded Message Date: Fri, 3 Mar 89 09:26:00 PST From: lewandows_go%nwd002.DEC@decwrl.dec.com Subject: News Release - 1 page Gentlemen, Considering the environment in which we all work I though you would have an interest in this news release about a newly identified element. Could this work have been done at the UW or do you think DEC was involved? - ghl _________________________ SCIENTIST DISCOVERS NEW ELEMENT - ADMINISTRATIUM The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by University physicists. The element, tentatively named Administratium (AD), has no protons or electrons, which means that its atomic number is 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assitants to the neutron, 75 vice-neutrons and 111 assistants to the vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass number of 312. The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called memos. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it is present. According to one of the discoverers of the element, a very small amount of Administratium made one reaction that normally takes less than a second take over four days. Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, at which time it does not actually decay. Instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which assistants to the neutron, vice-neutrons, and assistants to the vice-neutrons exchange place. Some studies have indicated that the atomic mass number actually increases after each reorganization. Administratium was discovered by accident when a researcher angrily resigned >from the chairmanship of the physics department and dumped all of his papers in the intake hatch of the University's particle accelerator. "Apparently, the interaction of all of those reports, grant forms, etc. with the particles in the accelerator created the new element." an unnamed source explained. Research at other laboratories seems to indicate that Administrium might occur naturally in the atmoshphere. According to one scientist, Administratium is most likely to be found on college and university campuses, and in large corporation and government centers, near the best-appointed and best-maintained building. ------- End of Forwarded Message CC: HANEY@LLL AMIGA-UG@ATHENA.MIT.EDU