I hate writing these things. It always ends up sounding like the autobiography of an autistic dutch bean counter, rambling on about things I don't give a damn about, so there's no chance anybody else would care about them either.
Resume!
Here is my resume, in case you want to hire me. Or in case you have looked at my facebook profile, checked out my Public directory, and still want more. I'm talking to you
Dugan Hayes.
Also, here is a portfolio of some of my webdesign (links might not all work)
A brief illustrated autobiography
In one biography of Tesla, they say when he was born there was a strike of lighting, signifying a great life. How does that work? Babies don't pop out at any particular instant, there's hours of labor then it takes forever once the baby even appears. Did the lighting strike when there was crowning? When he opened his eyes? When the umbilical cord was cut? First breath? Get it together.
As a baby, I watched those around me and learned. So much. Everything I know.
My first son was born at this time of my life. He is actually a clone of myself, because I was unable to produce fertile semen. (or that's what everybody thought. maybe I was just saving it)
As a youth I decided that if I was an animal, I would be one of the following: A Great Blue Whale, An Eagle/Hawk, A Beaver.
Those are totally the coolest of all the animals. They're also all endangered!
These days, I find myself frequently wondering "what is up?"
Aparently not much is really "up" or going on these days, or presumably i'd be doing those things. Maybe I already got them all done. Pretty impressive.
I can finally balance a spoon on my nose. Goddamn, it took long enough.
Late in my life I get a lot older, and everything around me starts going faster, and I kind of get upset about all these people with less experience trying to tell me "how things are", when they haven't even been there, girlfriend. Fuck them, i'll still be voting.
Fortunately I will be living on a private aircraft carrier with sweet space planes, having invented a real world remote control that allows people to pause life when they need to pee or think things over, as well as the ever popular instant replay button. uh...
