 |
 Red
Sox vs.  Athletics
Fenway Park April 14th, 2000 |
A chilly April evening at Fenway
Was not enough to keep us home in bed
The Sox and Athletics got ready to play
As with five dollar pizza we were fed
On the mound tonight for Boston, Brian Rose
Once the hottest prospect in Pawtucket
Since then he's struggled to retire his foes
On pitching, pretty soon he will say "F*** it!"
Opposing him is Kevin Appier
The veteran righty and former Royal
From the outset it seems A's fans should be happier
But to our Red Sox Nation we remain loyal
The national anthem we began singing
In the middle, someone's cell phone began ringing
Rich Becker led off with a base on balls
And just as we'd devoured our Papa Gino's
Disaster struck out at center field walls
A towering home run, Frank Menechino's
Jason Giambi grounded out, that was good
But that was just a temporary reprieve
Rose walked 'em full, no crack of ball and wood!
Olmedo Saenz, Matt Stairs and Benjy Grieve!
He regained composure and struck out Tejada
But Eric Chavez changed poor Rose's plight
Could he escape this jam? Alas, nada
That ball's still journeying into the night
Appalled at Chavez's display of power
Jimy Williams sent Rose to the shower
To end this mess he called upon Jon Wasdin
Who promptly struck Mr. Sal Fasano out
But six to nothing, and the nothing is by Boston
Courtesy of Chavez's grand slam clout
Appier looked rusty at the start
Jose Offerman scored a base hit
Trot Nixon took some cuts with all his heart
But struck out, some bad calls did hurt a bit
Then Daubach walked, and Nomar came to bat
But he hit a fly ball out to Stairs
Jose took third, but alas, that was that
For hits, O'Leary didn't have any spares
Eight innings left, but the Sox best have some tricks
To overcome this deficit of six
Way back Wasdin soon got into trouble
The A's scored once again in inning two
With one out, Menechino crushed a double
Another walk, then Jason Giambi drew
Olmedo Saenz was then plunked in the chest
Menechino scored on Stairs' sac fly
Wasdin doesn't seem quite at his best
But Grieve flied out, so for now, the A's went bye.
The Red Sox second came and went real fast
Carl Everett went down with a swinging K
Mike Stanley's bat hit ball with such a blast
But Matt Stairs flagged it down - it's not our day!
Appier fooled Varitek with a curve
This game is starting to get on our nerve
Tejada grounded out slowly to second
Chavez struck out despite taking his licks
Fasano then got lucky, so we reckoned
Nomar's throw went past Stanley, E-6!
A wild pitch and to second scampered Sal
But Becker went quietly down on strikes
Way back Wasdin we can call our pal
Compared to Brian Rose tonight, me likes!
Wilton Veras, playing third today came up
And beat out an infield hit to short
Sure, he may still be just a young pup
But someday he'll be a star in the sport
And one out later, another young-un named Trot
Belted a hit to right with all he got
Daubach moved them into scoring position
And then the crowd rose up to greet their savior
Garciaparra strode in with one vision
His trusty bat was on its best behavior
A hard-hit single drove in Trot and Wilt
The seven run lead now was cut to five
But O'Leary fouled out - he must've felt some guilt
The rally was no longer kept alive
The A's in order Wasdin then retired
Menechino struck out, and Giambi and Saenz
Both hit harmless grounders, uninspired
And the Red Sox tried to alter the scorelines
But Appier the Sox' momentum stole
Down 1-2-3, old Kevin's on a roll
We moved on to the fifth, Wasdin relieved
Rob Stanifer now pitching, who is this guy?
Stairs popped to second, then came up Ben Grieve
Who took some cuts and singled, he wasn't shy
Tejada struck out swinging, to his chagrin
And much to my dismay, he's 0 for 3
Of course I still want the Red Sox to win
But he's on my rotisserie team, you see!
Chavez flied out to left field, inning over
And Veras led the Boston fifth off well
A single hit so hard, tore off the cover
And on Offerman's hit, to third he ran like hell
He then scored on Trot Nixon's sacrifice
A comeback today surely would be nice
Daubach got on, second time today
And Nomar sauntered mightily to the plate
He hit a ball that screamed out "double play"
But Menechino's throw to first was late!
So Offerman came home with another run
Which stirred up action in the A's bullpen
But a bounding ball to Chavez killed the fun
O'Leary left a man on, once again
The next inning for Stanifer wasn't easy
A single and a walk to the first two men
Then Jason Giambi noticed the wind was breezy
And homered, lifting the A's score up to ten!
He recovered by retiring Saenz and Stairs
But Boston fans gave Stanifer many glares
Appier recovered too, too bad
He KO'ed Carl Everett and Mike Stanley
A Varitek single was all to be had
Then Veras grounded out, not very manly
Top of the seventh, a single, Grieve was on
Tejada hit a triple, roto heaven!
A hit by Chavez, Becker walks, we yawn
The A's have twelve where they once had eleven
This prompted a visit by the Sox' gestappo
And Stanifer's brief apperance is history
Rich Garces, otherwise known as "El Guapo"
Attempts to solve the A's bats - quite a mystery
We're getting close to seventh inning stretch
The numbers on the scoreboard make us retch
A walk to Menechino and they're loaded
Then Giambi grounds to third and Chavez scores
The Red Sox pitching tonight has imploded
Lines should be short at the souvenir stores
Olmedo Saenz grounds out, El Guapo rocks!
Relieving Appier is Mike Magnante
Offerman lines one back to the box
But beats it out, that speed does come in handy
Nixon flies to Becker, but Daubach singles
Magnante exits in favor of Jeff Tam
At the sight of him Garciaparra's spine tingles
If he can't hit this turkey, it would be a scam
But fortunately he keeps the rally alive
With another RBI single - 13 to 5!
But for the Boston seventh, all she wrote
O'Leary K's and Everett grounds to first
So Oakland once again begins to gloat
Taking advantage of the Red Sox worst
Matt Stairs grounds out to Nomar, one away
Ryan Christenson, who ran for Grieve last inning
Record the A's 11th hit of the day
A single has this seldom-used player grinning
Miguel Tejada can't do much this time
He strikes out but Chavez drives Guapo deep
But it's not a homer, and thus not worth a time
And Fasano's last at-bat puts us to sleep
Two chances left for Boston to score eight
For our next win, I think we'll have to wait
On Tam's first pitch, Mike Stanley's bat connects
But Menechino makes a brilliant catch
In the eight spot in the order, Varitek's
Comes Scott Hatteberg who loses his match
Tam strikes him out, and Veras bounced to second
The Oakland ninth is here, ditto the bench
For Nomar, Troy and Jose, the showers beckoned
In left is Darren Lewis, what a mensch
Jeff Frye at second, and in Nomar's place
Is Manny Alexander of lesser fame
And also much less of a baby face
But it's nice to see him get into a game
El Guapo sets the A's right down in order
He'll have a nice conversation with a reporter
A rare at-bat for Frye, to Giambi it's grounded
Trot Nixon bangs a triple into the corner
And scores on a sac fly - could we have rebounded?
Nope, Manny flies out and we'll soon be warmer
Athletics bats today were so frenetic
They really couldn't have hit us much harder
I haven't seen Sox pitching this pathetic
Since the days of Cal Schiraldi and Wes Gardner
O, this game of ours brings players from strange lands
Like Bert Blyleven - he grew up in a Dutch Town
But there is no joy in the gloomy Fenway stands
As the Athletics have triumphed by a touchdown
If we want to make the Series, this isn't the way to go
But fret not - tomorrow's pitcher's name is Pedro