>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> INTRO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> AUCTIONEER: Lot 35, a bottle of Dan's Shampoo... Do I have 10 dollars? CAMPER 1: 10! CAMPER 2: 20! CAMPER 3: 30! CAMPER 4: 50! CAMPER 5: 80! CAMPER 6: 130! CAMPER 7: 210! [pause] AUCTIONEER: Going, going, GONE! Sold! For 210 dollars, to the boy with the pocket protector. Lot 36, a broken Rubik's cube, with peeling paper stickers. Not in working order, shown here... Do we have 2 dollars? [pause] MEG: 10! AUCTIONEER: Going, going, GONE! Sold! For 10 dollars, to Meg! AUCTIONEER: Lot 37, a broken Zometool structure (ominous voice) Some of you may recall from a few days ago... the strange affair of the Phantom of the Lecture Hall... Our students have collected the pieces, so you can get a hint of what it looked like before it was broken. Perhaps we may frighten away the ghost of so many days ago, with a little illumination by KNOWLEDGE! [OVERTURE STARTS PLAYING] [A large fan blows, pieces of paper that say "I LOST" fly around the room, Zome is reassembled] >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> THINK OF D >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [CUT TO FLASHBACK SCENE / A WEEK AGO] STUDENT 1: Why is Carlotta teaching this class? STUDENT 2: Christine was so much better last year. STUDENT 3: I wish she would teach this class. I felt like I understood everything about Hyperbolic Geometry after she taught us last year. STUDENT 4: You mean Projective Geometry? [STUDENTS laugh] CARLOTTA: [Russian accent] Be quiet! It's time for EXTREME Multivariate Calculus!!! ALL STUDENTS: EXTREEEEEME! STUDENT 5: I hear we'll learn how to work with 27 variables! ALL STUDENTS: Oooooooo. STUDENT 4: Wouldn't we run out of alphabet letters? [CARLOTTA, the disgruntled Mentor, is busy explaining a differential equation to the class. She leans against the blackboard and scratches her head.] [PHANTOM walks behind the first row of seats, with exaggerated stealth. He wears a ridiculous hat, looks at the audience, puts his finger to his lips, and whispers "shhh." He presses the projector screen switch and the screen falls down and hits CARLOTTA] CARLOTTA: No more! I can't teach any more... This class is creepy. STUDENT 1: Who's going to teach us? STUDENT 2: But... but, we want to learn... STUDENT 3: We want more math! ALL STUDENTS: More math! More math! More math more math more math! [Rhythm of Mormon chant] *clap clap clapclapclap* *clap clap clapclapclap* *clapclapclap clapclapclap* We want math! *clap clap clapclapclap* *clap clap clapclapclap* *clapclapclap clapclapclap* Q.E.D! STUDENT 3: We want Christiiiiine to teach! MIRA: Yes! Christine can teach it... CARLOTTA: A mere JC girl? What does she know about teaching? MIRA: Let her teach you... You will be well taught. CARLOTTA: She couldn't do it. [pause] CHRISTINE [Think of D] Think of d, think of d fondly, when we use "dy" Remember d's, over dx, please promise me you'll try! When you find, that once again you solve, implicitly with this dt If you ever find an answer, spare a thought for d. [Fan and "I LOST" papers blow about room. Christine is suddenly in formal attire] [STUDENTS join in singing] We never said our integrals were clean, or not possessing a "plus C" But if our rates are related, stop and think of d. Think of all the d's we've used this time, Don't think about the d's we've not d-fined... Think of d, think of d waiting silent and d-signed Integrate this revolution, don't forget your pi! But when this is, within another f, we must use the inverse chain rule: There will never be a day, when I don't solve d-u! [RAOUL stands up and walks dreamily to the front of the room, blocking the projector] RAOUL Can it be, can it be Christine? STUDENT 1: Hey, get out of the way! STUDENT 2: We can't see! RAOUL Long ago, it was so long ago; how young and innocent we were; I may not remember d, but I remember -- CHRISTINE (STUDENTS are no longer singing) We never said our integrals were clean, or not possessing a "plus C" But please promise me that sometimes, you will think Oooooof (long and very high and painful singing part) d!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [thunderous applause] [STUDENTS chatter excitedly about CHRISTINE'S class] [STUDENTS exit, leaving MEG and CHRISTINE in the room] >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Angel of Solving >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MEG Christine, Christine PHANTOM [softly & creepily] Christine MEG Where in the dorms have you been hiding? Really, you were perfect! I only wish I knew your secret: Who is your great tutor? CHRISTINE Conway once spoke of an angel I used to dream he'd appear Now there's an affine connection When I teach, he's here! Inside my closet he calls softly Bounded within, hiding Always he's there, adjacent to me He, the unseen math nerd. MEG Christine, you must have been dreaming, Strange things like this don't come true. Christine, you're talking in math puns And it's not like you! CHRISTINE Angel of solving, guide and mentor! Come out of my closet! MEG Who is this angel, this -- CHRISTINE & MEG (harmonizing) Angel of solving, hide no longer! Secret and strange angel! CHRISTINE He's with me even now -- MEG -- Your hands are cold -- CHRISTINE -- All around me -- MEG -- Your face, Christine It's white... CHRISTINE It frightens me... MEG Don't be frightened... [They stand there for a while. After a moment, RAOUL and JOSEPH enter.] RAOUL: -- so, we should use liquid nitrogen! We can call it "Fun with Liquid Nitrogen!" JOSEPH: [is visibly disturbed & uncomfortable] Uhh... I don't think that's a good idea. RAOUL: Why? JOSEPH: Well, many years ago, there was a horrible disaster involving liquid nitrogen and... er, I have to go. [JOSEPH leaves] MEG: Raoul, how was your day? RAOUL: Oh, I was reading Crime and Punishment in my room for most of the day. MEG: Weren't you supposed to be at TAU? CHRISTINE: Weren't you supposed to be taking care of your students? RAOUL: What students? Oh... those students... MEG: Raoul! You may be a humanities major, but you're still a JC like the rest of us! [Meg leaves indignantly] RAOUL: Baby, you were so great teaching all that calculus mumbo-jumbo... Coffee's on me. Latte? CHRISTINE: Oh, I couldn't possibly go out this late. You see, I've been visited by the Angel of Solving. RAOUL: [sleazily] Sure you were, baby. CHRISTINE: No, really, I was! In a completely literal and non-metaphorical way! RAOUL: You just put on something nice and I'll see you in a few minutes. I have to work on my literature thesis. [RAOUL leaves] PHANTOM Insolent boy, this slave of fiction, Basking in his essays. Ignorant fool, this brave lit. major, Stealing away Christine CHRISTINE Angel I hear you; teach, I listen Stay by my side, guide me Angel, my skillz were weak, forgive me Enter at last, master. PHANTOM Flattering child, I shall teach you, See what in problems I hide. Look at your face in the blackboard I am there inside! CHRISTINE Angel of solving, guide and mentor Grant to me your answers Angel of solving, hide no longer Come to me, strange angel! PHANTOM [creepily. walks out from hiding place, flourishing his sarong-cape] I am your angel of solving... Come to me, angel of solving... RAOUL: Whose is that voice? Who's that in there?! [rattles right door] [PHANTOM strips] [PHANTOM takes CHRISTINE's hand and they walk towards the left door slowly] PHANTOM I am your angel of solving... RAOUL: Christine! Are you in there with some kind of vampire?! [still rattling door] PHANTOM Come to me, angel of solving... [PHANTOM and CHRISTINE exit room] [lights dim] >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The Phantom of the Lecture Hall >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [PHANTOM and CHRISTINE enter from the right door, lights brighten] [at the MathCave] CHRISTINE In points he taught to me, In arcs he came, That graph which calls to me, And plots my name. And shall I learn again For now I find The Phaaantom of the Lecture Hall is here, Inside my mind. PHANTOM Now integrate with me The Cantor set The sequence of our love Converges yet And, though you turn from me to Lit, you'll find The Phaaaaantom of the Lecture Hall is there, Inside your mind. CHRISTINE Those who have seen your work Draw back amazed. I am the curvature PHANTOM Inside my space [gestures to his lair] CHRISTINE & PHANTOM My/your hands will be to you/me, a tangent line [CHRISTINE and PHANTOM do "elbow sex" from Rocky Horror, twice, with both hands] The Phaaaantom of the Lecture Hall is there Inside my/your mind! STUDENTS 1 & 2 [softly] He's there, the Phaantom of the Lecture... Beware, the Phaantom of the Lecture... PHANTOM In all our axioms Twas always true That proof and mystery... CHRISTINE both live in you... CHRISTINE & PHANTOM And so I/you trace this path For one more wind The Phaaaaaaantom of the Lecture Hall is there, Inside my/your mind. CHORUS He's there, the Phaantom of the Lecture... CHORUS & CHRISTINE He's there, the Phaantom of the Lecture... (CHRISTINE starts vocalizing with increasing pitch) PHANTOM Prove, my angel of solving. CHRISTINE: (keeps vocalizing) PHANTOM Prove, my angel CHRISTINE: (even higher...) PHANTOM Prove for me! CHRISTINE (finally breaks maximum pitch) [breaking glass noises] >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Speedcubing in the Night >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [PHANTOM strips] PHANTOM I have brought you, To the seat of sweet solving's throne To this kingdom where all must pay homage to cubing... Cubing... You have come here For one purpose and one alone >From the moment I first saw you solve I have needed you with me To serve me, to help with my solving Solving... (changing mood) [Macky is behind PHANTOM, solving cube] Night-time sharpens, quickens permutations... Darkness stirs, enhances commutation... Silently the senses abandon their defenses... Slowly, gently, fingers cause rotation... Grasp it, sense it -- this isn't just for Asians... Turn this face away, leave that piece there, let it stay, don't turn centers now and try to use foresight -- and listen to you cubing in the night... Close your eyes and remember all your F2L's! Purge your thoughts of the steps you knew before! Close your eyes, let your fingers start to soar! And you'll cube as you've never cubed before... Softly, deftly, colors shall surround you... Feel it, hear it, clicking all around you... Open up your mind, algorithms shall unwind, in this darkness which you know you cannot fight -- the darkness of speedcubing in the night... Let your mind find a system for the bottom cross! Leave all thoughts of the ways you knew before! Let your mind take you through your O-L-L! Only then, will your speed solving excel... Flipping, turning, sequence conjugation! Touch it, trust it fix this permutation! Let the solve begin, let your darker side give in to the power of the sequences I write -- the power of speedcubing in the night... You alone can make my cube spin right -- help me with speedcubing in the night... PHANTOM: Let me show you around my MathcaveTM... CHRISTINE: Ooo! PHANTOM: My terrifyingly detailed Lecture Hall dioramas and voodoo dolls! And here's my cherished My First Wedding Christine doll! Look, it's life-size! CHRISTINE: *faints* [PHANTOM grabs CHRISTINE and puts her on a table. He looks sleazily at the audience, and the lights go out.] [Lights on.] [CHRISTINE wakes up in a completely different orientation, backwards on the table. She slowly gets up and walks towards PHANTOM] CHRISTINE I remember there were cubes Swirling colors upon a small spinning face And equations on the board And by the board there was a hat And in that hat, there was, a, man! Whose is that hat in the shadows Whose is this cube in my hand... [CHRISTINE tries to turn cube, but drops it and it explodes. (pop out one edge cubie)] [PHANTOM lunges at cube, but his mask falls off] PHANTOM [either this line, or something closer to the original "Damn you" rant] Damn you, don't you know that was my very... first... cube? *teary* You don't understand how much it means to me!!! CHRISTINE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. [gasp] Your face! THE PHANTOM: NOOO! YOU CAN NEVER EVER LEAVE MY MATHCAVE NOW THAT YOU HAVE SEEN MY ACCURSED NITROGEN SCARS! CHRISTINE: I don't -- it's just -- it's not even that much of your face! THE PHANTOM: *fumes & cries* CHRISTINE: *cries* THE PHANTOM: *sleazy* Well, since you're of such exceptional beauty, I'm prepared to forgive you... I guess it's time to take you back now anyways... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Top Banana >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [PHANTOM should be hiding in the room but not visible at the beginning of this scene] JOSEPH: Do you know the story of The Phantom of the Lecture Hall? STUDENT 1: No, tell us! JOSEPH: His real name was Jebediah... Ezekiel... Webber! STUDENTS: [silence] JOSEPH Like old graph paper was his skin Broken edges formed his nose that was destroyed You must be always on your guard Or else we'd all be unemployed JOSEPH: There was an accident, only an accident, involving liquid nitrogen and ice cream... [shakes head sadly] STUDENT 4: NO!!! JOSEPH: After that, he was expelled forever from Mathcamp, and suffered many disfigurements on his face. STUDENT 6: So he had more trouble getting dates? JOSEPH and EVERYONE ELSE: *look at each other* STUDENT 4: Don't we all? [MIRA rushes in] MIRA [urgently]: Our beloved JC Christine disappeared last night, I don't think it's safe for you campers to stay here anymore. You must all go back to your rooms and pack your bags and tell your parents to pick you up immediately!!!111cos(0)!!eleven STUDENT 1 Your campers need you! STUDENT 2 We need you, too! MIRA (unassuaged) Would you not rather have your precious little lives with you? STUDENTS: Mira, no! The camp wants... YOU! STUDENTS Mira Bernstein, director of the camp! All your JCs are on their knees to implore you! STUDENT 1 Can you give up when they're shouting your name? STUDENT 2 Think of how they all adore you! BOTH Mira Bernstein, enchant us once again! STUDENT 1 Think of your class... STUDENT 2 How they surpass all you teach them! BOTH Can you deny us the knowledge in store? Teach, Mira Bernstein, once more! (MIRA registers her acceptance as the STUDENTS continue to cajole and the OTHERS reflect) MIRA (to herself, in triumph) Top Banana your camp shall live again! STUDENTS (to MIRA) Think of your peers! MIRA but there's a camp here who needs you! Think of their whines and undying complaints! STUDENT 1 (spoken to 2) We get our Mathcamp... STUDENT 2 (spoken to 1) She gets her limelight! MIRA Follow where the limelight leads you! STUDENTS (aside) Camp directors are a trial! MIRA Top Banana, your camp shall never die Dan teach again, and to unending ovation! Think how you'll shine in that final encore! Teach, Mira Bernstein, once more! STUDENTS Who'd believe a summer where we learn of numbers, Higher level classes all full of smart-asses? Christine and the JCs, In math reverie! Although they think we're mad, We want to go real bad! You'd never get away with all this in 5 days, but if it's all 5 weeks and in a camp of geeks it's just the sort of time that these kids find sublime, in fact a perfect program! STUDENTS Mira Bernstein the world is at your feet! Mathcamp awaits, and how it hates to be cheated! Light up the floor at that age old chalkboard! Teach, Mira Bernstein, [AUDIBLE BREATH, someone says "I lost"] once more! [musical interlude] ONCE MORE! [Music ends] MIRA: All right! [Everyone leaves] >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> All I Ask of You >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [CHRISTINE enters, dazed. RAOUL follows shortly behind.] RAOUL: Christine! Where have you been? All of camp has been looking everywhere for you! CHRISTINE: Oh! Raoul... um... hey. RAOUL: What happened to you last night? CHRISTINE: Ah, well... nothing really. Nothing at all. RAOUL: But then where were -- CHRISTINE: Definitely nothing even remotely sexual. On a -- RAOUL: What? CHRISTINE: -- completely unrelated note, I think you should leave. RAOUL: What? CHRISTINE: The sooner, the better. RAOUL: But -- CHRISTINE: I've already told the puzzle hunt organizers that they can use your room as headquarters. RAOUL: But -- CHRISTINE: In fact, don't even bother getting your stuff; Team MAD's appropriating it for props for the IL. RAOUL: Christine -- CHRISTINE: If you start running now, you can probably make it to the airport before sundown. RAOUL: [grabbing CHRISTINE by the wrists] CHRISTINE! [beat] What is it? CHRISTINE: Raoul, last night, I was touched by the Angel of Solving... a lot. He will kill you if he sees you with me! RAOUL: Oh, zhoomf. [Conway-esque hand waving motion] There's no Phantom. CHRISTINE: Yuh-huh! We had a sleepover and everything! I've seen his face, Raoul! RAOUL: O.M.G. YOU SAW HIS FACE? [pause] You had a sleepover??? CHRISTINE: It was terrible! RAOUL: How terrible? [genuinely interested, perks up] CHRISTINE: Well... not really all that terrible, it wasn't even his whole face -- it wasn't even really half his face... he was actually kinda -- RAOUL: [cutting her off] IT SOUNDS SO TERRIBLE. CHRISTINE: I mean, really, it's not like he's a leper or anything... really, you could just have him sleep on the right side of the bed and he'd look just fine if you were lying on the other side... *sleazy* really fine... RAOUL: YOU MUST BE TRAUMATIZED. TELL ME YOU ARE TRAUMATIZED. CHRISTINE: There was that cube thing that kinda scared me... RAOUL: Oh, Christine. Forget all this math and transfer to UPS with me. We can study humanities together! CHRISTINE: But... math is my life... RAOUL: No! It's too dangerous here! Look at all the strange things that have happened to you because of math! CHRISTINE: I guess... you're right... THE PHANTOM: GRRRRRRRRR. [flamboyantly looks out from wherever he's hiding] RAOUL: Forget your math! Raoul: No more talk of doughnuts Forget these cones and spheres I'm here, nothing can stress you My sweet voice shall caress you Let me be your Homer, Let Shakespeare dry your tears, I'm here, with you, beside you to guard you and to guide you CHRISTINE Say you love me every waking moment, turn my head with talk of poetry Say you need me with you, now and always... promise me that all you read is true -- that's all I ask of you... RAOUL Let me be your Gatsby let me be your Frost. You're safe: No one will find you your primes are far behind you... CHRISTINE All I want is beauty, a world with no more pi... and you always beside me to hold me and to hide me... RAOUL Then say you'll share with me one play, one novel... Let me lead you from your complex plane... Say you need me with you here, beside you... anywhere you go, let me go too -- Christine, that's all I ask of you... CHRISTINE Say you'll share with me one play, one novel... say the word and I will follow you... BOTH Share your Poe with me, your Keats, your Browning... CHRISTINE Say you love me... RAOUL You know I do... BOTH Love me -- that's all I ask of you... [They hug for a long, long time] [PHANTOM emerges and turns to the audience] PHANTOM: OK, now you're just rubbing it in. *cry* RAOUL/CHRISTINE Anywhere you go let me go too... Love me -- that's all I ask of you... [RAOUL and CHRISTINE leave] PHANTOM I gave you my Zome tool... made your proofs take wing... and now, how you've repaid me: denied me and betrayed me... He was bound to love you in that lecture hall... Christine... Christine... RAOUL/CHRISTINE (offstage) Say you'll share with me one play, one novel... say the word and I will follow you... Share your Poe with me, your Keats, your Browning... PHANTOM J00 will curse the day you did not do all that the Phantom asked of you...! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> END OF ACT 1 INTERMISSION FOOD :) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Mathcamp Days >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [Note: CHRISTINE is here, RAOUL isn't.] [Phantom techno-remix is playing softly] [At a Mathcamp dance party] [we will do one of the following, maybe.] [this:] [STUDENT 5 is wearing a Mathcamp shirt] STUDENT 6: Where are the cheerleaders? STUDENT 5: Why do you want cheerleaders? STUDENT 6: What do you mean, why? [TWO CHEERLEADERS rush in and kidnap STUDENT 5] STUDENT 6: Nooo! Take me instead! [some of the STUDENTS start dancing with each other] STUDENT 3: Why don't they dance with meee? It's my face, isn't it? STUDENT 4: No, it's because you missed problem 8 on the team problem solving contest! STUDENT 1: We got that one! It was TRUE! STUDENT 3: I guess I'll just go back to my room and read romance novels. STUDENT 6: Come, let's dance! STUDENT 3: Eeep! [runs away] [STUDENT 5 stumbles in with disheveled hair and shirt on backwards] [or this:] [One STUDENT runs onto the bare stage and starts Deutching, and then a few OTHERS follow, and once critical mass is reached it can segue into...] Mathcamp Days Mathy habits, mathy ways Mathcamp Days Do your math where the world can never find you... Mathcamp Days Different answers, sleep-dep craze, Mathcamp Days, Look and see all the wonderous math around you... Rationals, Matrices Algebra, Simplices Stupid Stuff, Standard Base, Mormon Camp, Vector Space Spaces... Take your keys, take your SET and the sign-in hat... at MCSP Polytopes, Rubik's Cubes, Asymptotes LiverWorld, Ari's raps, Dan's Shampoo, Taking naps Sleeping Sleep is good, sleep is good Call your parents soon And they can breathe at last Mathcamp Days Problem solving and relays Mathcamp Days Run and hide, workshift guys will still pursue you... Mathcamp Days Everyone loves John Conway Mathcamp Days But beware, don't let cheerleaders abduct you... Mathcamp Days We'd be proud if we were gay, Mathcamp Days Do your math don't let mormon camp convert you... Mathcamp Days Mathy habits, mathy ways Mathcamp Days Do your math where the world can never find you... (The ENSEMBLE activity becomes background, as STUDENTS, MIRA, MEG, CARLOTTA come to the fore, glasses in hand) STUDENT 3 What a camp STUDENT 4 What a crowd! STUDENT 1 Makes you glad! Makes you proud! All the math all the math! CARLOTTA making sure they take baths! STUDENT 1 Five weeks of relief! CARLOTTA Of delight! STUDENT 1/STUDENT 2 Of Elysian peace! CARLOTTA No more jocks! Unchanged socks! STUDENT 1 Here's a health! Here's a toast: STUDENT 2 to a wonderful time! To our diff-icult rhymes! CARLOTTA And may its splendour never fade! STUDENT 1/STUDENT 2 What a blessed release! STUDENT 1 And what great Mathcamp days! ALL STUDENTS Mathcamp Days Problem solving and relays Mathcamp Days Run and hide, workshift guys will still pursue you... Mathcamp Days Everyone loves John Conway Mathcamp Days But beware, don't let cheerleaders abduct you... Mathcamp Days We'd be proud if we were gay Mathcamp Days Do your math don't let Mormon camp convert you... Mathcamp Days Mathy habits, mathy ways Mathcamp Days Do your math where the world can never find you... [All students party] STUDENT 7: Wow, did you hear a lot of key changes in that song? I counted four. STUDENT 2: Christine, are you teaching any Week 5 classes? STUDENT 4: Oh, do it do it do it! [STUDENTS clamor for CHRISTINE'S attention] CHRISTINE: No, no! Guys, I'm way too busy with Raoul's Mathcamp Book Club sessions to teach math! [The STUDENTS pause briefly.] STUDENT 4: But... but you were so GOOD when you taught us calculus. [RAOUL has entered, and walks by, flirting shamelessly at CHRISTINE] RAOUL: Baby doll, you all excited for tomorrow's discussion of Dracula? CHRISTINE: I'm Stokered! [RAOUL blows her a kiss and exits. The STUDENTS are shocked and appalled. So is the audience. So are you, probably.] STUDENT 2: [slowly] Christine, you've changed. [STUDENTS all slowly shrink away from CHRISTINE, who skips off to follow RAOUL] STUDENT 3: You guys realize, it's the beginning of the last week of Mathcamp? STUDENT 2: It's my last year... STUDENT 1: I'll miss it so much! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Wishing it was the first week again >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [solo student 7] Math was once my one fun pastime Math was all that mattered You were always the best program Then my world was shattered [all] Wishing it was the first week again Wishing we could turn back time Sometimes it seems if we just dream we'd have week forty-nine! Wishing we could hear Dan teach again knowing that we never would Dreaming of you won't help us to prove all that we dreamed we could [solo] References and thesis papers boring and subjective Are for us the wrong companions We were too objective [all] Too many years Fighting our peers Why can't our schools just die? Wishing it was the first week again Knowing we do not have time Can't we return Why can't we learn Would it be such a crime No more memories No more busy halls No more gazing at math-filled blackboard walls Help us say goodbye... [Students slowly exit, leaving Christine standing in the middle of the room] PHANTOM (softly) Wandering child... so lost... so helpless... yearning for my guidance... CHRISTINE Angel... or Conway... friend... or Phantom...? Who is it there, stalking...? PHANTOM (hypnotically) Have you forgotten your Angel...? CHRISTINE Angel... oh, speak... What endless longings echo in this whisper...! [RAOUL appears in the shadows and watches] PHANTOM [now drawing CHRISTINE towards him] Too long you've wandered on campus... RAOUL (to himself) Once again she is his... PHANTOM Far from my far-reaching gaze... RAOUL Once again she returns... CHRISTINE (mesmerized) Wildly my mind beats against you... PHANTOM You resist... PHANTOM/CHRISTINE Yet your/the soul obeys... RAOUL ... to the arms of her angel... angel or demon... still he calls her... luring her back, from the grave... angel or dark seducer...? Who are you, strange angel...? PHANTOM (at the same time as below) Angel of Solving! You denied me, turning from true beauty... Angel of Solving! Do not shun me... Come to your strange Angel... CHRISTINE (at the same time as above) Angel of Solving! I denied you, turning from true beauty... Angel of Solving! My dear mentor... Come to me, strange Angel... [CHRISTINE moves towards the figure of the PHANTOM] PHANTOM (beckoning her) I am your Angel of Solving... Come to me: Angel of Solving... RAOUL (suddenly calling out) Angel of darkness! Cease this torment! PHANTOM I am your Angel of Solving... Come to me: Angel of Solving... RAOUL (in desperation) Christine! Christine listen to me! Whatever you may believe, this man... this thing... is not your old professor! (to the PHANTOM) PHANTOM: Of course I am! Come to daddy, Christine! Daddy loves you! RAOUL: Let her go! For God's sake, let her go! Christine! [Christine is visibly confused, turns to look at both of them] CHRISTINE: Raoul! [PHANTOM and RAOUL strip and make out] [PHANTOM grabs CHRISTINE, drags her out of the room through the left door. RAOUL follows] RAOUL [offstage]: Christine! Where are you? Phantom, show yourself! [BLACKOUT] [LIGHTS UP] [STUDENTS and MEG are all sitting at TAU, doing homework] [RAOUL bursts through the right door] RAOUL: Christine -- she's been taken by the Phantom! I followed them out into the hallway in the dorms... but they suddenly disappeared! You must help me find her! STUDENT 7: Noo! Our favorite JC! STUDENT 2: So, the legend is true... MEG: Wait! Where was this? RAOUL: In the basement, near the coed bathrooms... MEG: They must have gone into the old steam tunnels! I know where they are. RAOUL: The angel in the closet... it all makes sense! [STUDENTS and RAOUL run out of the right door, led by MEG] [BLACKOUT] >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Past the end of sign-in time >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [PHANTOM and CHRISTINE enter right door] PHANTOM You have come here in accord with your deepest urge, though you claim to object your protests are now silent silent... I have brought you, that our fun plans may fuse and merge -- in your mind you've already agreed to me dropped all defences completely agreed with me -- now you are here with me: let's start the class, you've decided, decided... Past the end of sign-in time the final work shift the games you've played Alfonso now shall end... Past all thought of "nought" or "one" -- no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend... What raging fire shall burn our brains? What rich desire for math is gained? What sweet seduction lies before us...? [looks at Christine] Past the end of Sign-In Time, the final threshold -- what dark, unspoken secrets will we know? When separation goes to ZERO!! CHRISTINE You have brought me to that classroom where rules break down, to that moment where logic dissolves into chaos, chaos... I have changed key, hardly knowing the reason why... In my mind, I've already imagined our theorems entwining defenceless and silent -- and now I am here with you: no second thoughts, I've decided, decided... Past the end of sign-in time -- no going back now: our breaking rules has now, at last, begun... Past all thought of all 4 rules -- one final question: how long are we to wait, before we're one...? When will our hearts begin to race the sanity escape the room? When will the flames, at last, consume us...? BOTH Past the end of sign-in time the final key change -- the bridge is crossed, there's no Eulerian trail... We've passed the end of sign-in time... [CHRISTINE gazes sadly at PHANTOM and touches his shoulder -- DRAMATIC SCENE] PHANTOM Say you'll prove with me our love, its lemmas... Lead me, save me from my Zome Tool... [PHANTOM takes a ring and puts it on her finger] Say you want me with you, here beside you... Anywhere you go let me go too -- Christine, that's all I ask of... (He hears the offstage voices of the pursuing MOB) MOB (offstage) Track down this kidnapper! He must be found! PHANTOM Hounded out by everyone! Met with hatred everywhere! No kind word from anyone! No compassion anywhere! Christine... Christine... Why, why...? MOB Track down this kidnapper Who runs around! Hunt out this mathcamper, he must be found! Too long he's preyed on us but now we know the Phantom of the Phantom of the Phantom of the Lecture Hall is there deep down below... CHORUS He's here: the Phantom of the Lecture... He's here: the Phantom of the Lecture... PHANTOM Transformations which cause inversions of love have also denied me the joys of the world this face -- this frozen flesh which poisons my life... This face, which earned this mathcamp's fierce aggression... A cube, my first accepting new obsession... Pity comes too late -- turn around and face your fate an eternity of this before your eyes! (They are almost touching. She looks calmly and coldly into his face) CHRISTINE This haunted face holds no horror for me now... It's in your plane that the true inversion lies... [reaches towards PHANTOM] [RAOUL enters. CHRISTINE looks disappointed. PHANTOM turns, sneering.] PHANTOM: Wait! I think, my dear, we have a guest! So nice of you to join us. RAOUL: Give her up! I love her! Does that mean nothing to you? PHANTOM: She's mine! RAOUL: Show some compassion! PHANTOM: The world showed no compassion to me! Choose now, Raoul! Here are three cards! One gives you freedom! Two of them represent your doom! Choose one! [Raoul indicates a card] [Phantom reads one of the other two cards] PHANTOM: [reading] This one leads to your doom! *tosses it away* Now will you switch cards? RAOUL: [thinks while extras/students chant "YES! YES!"] No. PHANTOM: [slaps Raoul on the head] You didn't go to Kenny's class, did you. [turns to Christine] PHANTOM: So, you have two choices remaining. Stay with me forever, or watch Mathcamp and your precious Raoul burn to ashes! CHRISTINE: [thinks] So, I choose between living with you and watching the destruction of Mathcamp? Either way, you win... PHANTOM: You're in a P-Position! >:D CHRISTINE: Am I? CHRISTINE Pitiful creature of theorems What kind of life have you known...? Gauss give me courage to show you You are not alone! [They hug. For a long, long time.] RAOUL: Okay, now you're just rubbing it in. [Still hugging] PHANTOM Take her -- forget me -- forget all of this... Leave me alone -- forget all you've seen... Go now -- don't let them find you! Take your books -- promise me -- never to tell... The secret you know -- of the Angel in Hell... Go... Go now -- go now and leave me! (RAOUL and CHRISTINE move off towards the left door.) [PHANTOM looks down sadly at his broken cube.] PHANTOM Mathcamp days... Mathy habits, mathy ways... Mathcamp days... Do your math where the world will never find you... (CHRISTINE re-enters and walks slowly towards him. She takes off her ring and gives it to him) PHANTOM Christine, I love you... [CHRISTINE writes on a piece of paper] PHANTOM: What's this? CHRISTINE: My address, AIM screenname, MSN, email, ICQ, Skype, Gtalk, and AOPS screenname... don't be a stranger! [CHRISTINE hands PHANTOM the paper] CHRISTINE (In the distance, over RAOUL's shoulder, to PHANTOM, as they leave) Say you'll share with me, one love, one lifetime... say the word and I will follow you. RAOUL/PHANTOM Share each day with me... CHRISTINE ...each night... CHRISTINE/RAOUL/PHANTOM ...each morning... PHANTOM (looking after her) You alone can make my cube spin right -- it's over now, speedcubing in the night... [PHANTOM smashes the Zome Tool structure against the ground] [PHANTOM exits via the right door] The MOB including MEG, appears at the left door, climbing down the stairs. MEG picks up the mask. MOB: A mask?... [surrounds mask] KILLING BLOW 1! KILLING BLOW 2! KILLING BLOW 3! KILLING BLOW 4! KILLING BLOW 5! MEG: Ice... cream? [she samples some] Mm. Tasty. [LIGHTS OUT] [END! APPLAUSE.]