Conflict Management

Do you Settle or Resolve a Conflict?

Understanding the difference between conflict resolution and conflict settlement helps you to decide what strategy you can use more effectively in a given situation. The differences are subtle. The focus of conflict resolution is on changing a person's attitude, while the focus in conflict settlement is on changing the behavior. While focusing on managing behavior will affect a change in attitude in the parties, this is not your focus or concern in a conflict settlement negotiation.

Your interest is in "individualistic orientation" as described by Deutsch (1960) where the disputant is simply interested in doing well for him or herself, without regard for anyone else, out neither to help nor hinder the other's efforts to obtain his or hers goal. Rubin (1991) calls this "enlightened self interest." Enlightened means that each person acknowledges that they are pursuing their path of self-interest and it may be possible for both parties to do well in the exchange. Rubin pointed out that trust and trustworthiness is excluded under this paradigm because they are no longer necessary. The only acknowledgement for each party is to understand what the other party may want or need.

Fisher and Ury (1981) used the example of the two sisters who were fighting over having an orange. Each sister wants the orange and after some time they decide to split it 50/50. This is a fair and just split, but is it wise? As the story goes, one sister took her half of the orange and peeled it and ate the fruit, while the other sister peeled her half of the orange and discarded the fruit and baked a cake with the peel. By listening and taking the time to effectively communicate the sisters could have had all they wanted. In this example trust, love for one another and treating each other fairly are not the focus, instead enlightened self-interest would have made a more effective solution.

The Four Phases of Conflict Resolution

Conflict has distinct characteristics when left unmanaged. Conflict is confrontational and stressful; adrenaline flows and judgment becomes impaired. Conflict is spontaneous and therefore responses are generally not well planned. One person is more or less in control at any given point; sometimes control shifts back and forth from person to person. One person typically assumes a defensive position and there is a tendency to blame others. During the first phase of conflict one's own position seems to be the only possible solution, neither side listens to the other before responding. Both sides make quick, subjective judgments and tend to censor their behavior, causing guarded feelings and reactions. Team members usually have varying levels of skills for handling interpersonal tension. Conflict begins when one or more members have preconceived assumptions about the other member's position which blocks open sharing. In encounter where no one is listening nothing is accomplished except to generate more hard feelings.

Phase One : Understanding Conflict

To effectively manage conflict the team leader uses a problem solving approach and seeks to find a wise outcome. The leader focuses on the problem as the issue to be discussed. The leader takes the focus away from friendship and trust. The leader recognizes and understands emotions and manages the conflict by acknowledging the emotions as explicit and legitimate.

The leader focuses on common interests of the parties and recognizes and confirms that the most powerful interests are basic human needs (security, belonging, recognition, and control). The leader searches and defines goals both sides can agree on. The leader allows the parties to explore more than one solution to the problem while avoiding extreme demands. The leader's goal is to make both partners emerge as winners by sorting areas of agreement from areas of disagreement. Encouraging assertive behavior from all parties supports this goal.

Phase Two : Preparation

Each participant defines the most important issue they are having with the situation. They ask, why am I frustrated with this situation? They define what they need and not what they are trying to achieve in the situation. Team members define who is affected by the conflict and who has control in the situation. They choose their focus by identifying whether the conflict is external, organizational, or interpersonal.

Phase Three : Discussion

Team members list three or four issues in the conflict, making a list of each person's basic needs in the conflict. They avoid stating specific goals and look for common issues. It is important to identify which team members are affected and which are influencing the conflict; indicate their degree of control over the situation. Team members identify common goals that both sides can agree on and brainstorm solutions that will meet the goals. The team develops specific action plans by listing the activities that each person will do, and determining deadlines. Switch from negative to positive paradigms by:

• Reframing: Make a conscious effort to identify and reverse the negative attitude.
• Shifting Shoes: Try to understand and take on another perspective. ("If I was this person, why would I be taking on such a strong stand right now?")
• Affirmation: Make positive statements about something team members want to be true.
• Skill Development: Have meetings with the person in your group who teaches conflict resolution skills. (Bess, A. C. & Henry, K., 1996)

When managing conflict the leader should speak in a calm, low voice, controlling emotions. Team members should use active listening skills to paraphrase and clarify. Team members should reflect the emotions to the other parties, allowing all concerned to express their viewpoint. The team members should delay judgment until all perspectives have been explored and then suggest alternatives to help reach agreement. At this point, team members should display a confident, open and friendly manner and give others the benefit of the doubt. They should be helpful, offering prompt forgiveness of others' wrongdoing and acknowledge personal mistakes. At all times, team members should be clear about their own position while demonstrating a willingness to consider opposing points of view.

Phase Four : Negotiation and Follow-up

The team members and team leader should evaluate progress. They should offer each other assistance and use principled negotiation to end the conflict. See the next section for a complete description of the negotiation process