Welcome to our humble abode, Travis. I wonder what it is that brings you to my home this Saturday evening. 'Tis the first day of spring - and the weather seems fair for ladies and adventures alike. Wow, Mr Abercrombie, that's quite poetic, have you been going to night school? No I've just been hanging around the park reading Shakespeare too much. The snow has been getting to my brain. Could you believe the weather this past season? Seems the thing that's the talk of the town. So where's Mrs Abercrombie? Right here, behind you. Care for some peanut-butter-jelly and chocolate layered poundcake? It's fresh from the oven! No, thank you Mrs Abercrombie, but that's very sweet of you. It'd be very nice if you could get me some of your world famous lemonade, though. Right away! Alice, I think I'll some too. My dear Travis, you can't come to the Abercrombie house and no partake of the baked sweets, especially when they come straight from the oven. Well, here's the thing: Mrs Abercrombies cooking is quite exquisite on a regular night. However, there's an undeniable, secret power that her baked items seem to possess for stealing away men's wills to leave. Trust me, better not partake of the cake. We're in the middle of a game of cards, son. Care to join? so he asks with the most innocent of smiles. The man never loses. If he does, it's because he willed it that way. Case and point: Travis, did you ever hear about the time Charlie preemptively lost the first seventeen hands of poker to those guys he used to work with over at that Bull and Bear Resturant place? Please, Alice, I'm sure young Travis, has heard that story plenty of times. I thought you usually keep pretty hush-hush - On many different occassions. Haven't you son? See he's nodding his head. I'm usually obliged to answer affirmative here. But then again, he can take my affirmations, and shove them. Oh Charlie, I loved it when you told me that story. Why don't you want to share with our dear loveable young Travis. First of all, like a magician, a card shark never reveals one's own trade secrets. It's definitely a faux pas, numero un. That wasn't your attitude two weeks ago when you were bragging to all your buddies at the VA Center. Those guys? You mean, Tucker, Ducks and Malone? Those guys would forget their own names if they weren't stitched to their underwear. And Tucker's got a steel plate in his head the shape of Taiwan. I thought you said it was the shape of Thailand. Taiwan, Thailand, they're both out there in the middle of Southeast Asia, anyhow, along with the rest of Tucker's skull. Oh come now, Charles. You've got better things to say about your pals, don't you? Yeah, like the fact that a secret I keep with them is as good as one I carry to my grave. You must have been dying to tell somebody about that wee little strategy you had back then. It was not some wee little strategy, my dear Alice. It was the primo strategy. You bluff to all high-hell and lose for anything penny ante. When the other guys get the balls to stake the big stuff, that's when you pull in the big hands. Oh, Charley, I love it when you talk big-time Poker. It always gets you huffing and ready to do anything wild! Hush, that's between you just between you and me. I see... Travis, why don't you have some of Mrs Abercrombie's peppermint chip- covered salt water taffy? You won't ever taste anything quite like it in your life again, I guarantee! I'm sorry Mr Abercrombie, I must decline yet again. I do have a dinner to attend later tonight that I want to save my appetite for. I am, however, much obliged. Oh, I'm so disappointed! I guess I will have to save some for next time, huh, Travis. Why, yes, I so sorry to have disappointed you. And after I was so enthralled by your stories. You have so much to teach us! Oh, you say the kindest things, Travis. You know, Charley doesn't take so well to compliments. He's kind of modest, you know, in an old fashioned kind of way. It's not modesty, my dear, just practicallity. I don't tell stories to just anyone, you know. He calls it practical, I call it modest. Isn't that the worst! No wonder I married the big lug. Practical means that you don't go shooting your mouth off to whoever walks. I've got to make sure the person really appreciates what I'm saying before I give any advice. Charley, you old rock, you slay me every time with your wisdom. You know what kid, you've been pretty attentive tonight, so I think you might appreciate a little story I have to tell. Well, it's not really so much of a story but something about a kid I met in Saigon. He was begging for change, but I could tell he had a certain type of dignity in his eyes. While all the other gook kids were holding their grubby hands out and staring silently at the GI's, this boy was the only one to offer to clean up my whole jeep, if he could get a meal. I was so impressed, I took him back to our station and put him to work doing kitchen detail in exchange for three square meals a day. That's my story, kid. Learn from it what you can. Hey Travis, how about you try some of this Lobster Tail with candy corn filling? I must say, that despite my plans for a later meal, and my resolve not to spoil my appetite for it, you are starting to entice me. But alas, I must still decline. Well, okay Travis, I'm getting rather tired, but I'll save some of this for you for later. Okay, I'll remember to take some home. You do that! Ah, I think my bladder is full of Alice's world famous lemonade by now. Please excuse me while I use the commode. You know, it gets so quiet in here whenever my Charley's not around. I always feel the need to fill it. Still use your turntable? Yep, we sure do. The only thing is that we just had a garage sale and sold most of our LP's. The only one's we've got left are this one with Elton John and Fleetwood Mac. Go figure. Hey look, I just found this Harry Chapin in the back! How'd it get there? I used to play Cat's in the Craddle and Taxi all the time. Too bad, it depresses the heck out of Charley though. He can't do anything right when I play it! Curious, I don't think I've ever heard either of those songs. Although I'm not sure I want to now. Well as long as it's not Tom Petty, I'm game. Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you! Charlie really gets into his music. Enters his subconscious somehow. When it comes down to it, Charley's a real sensitive guy. I Wanna Learn a Love Song was our honeymoon song! *fwoosh!* I just don't understand why this was LP was stuck all the way in the same jacket with the Fleetwood Mac LP. Hey, it's that Chapin guy again. I thought we sold that at the garage sale. Why would you think that? I love this record, I'd never sell it. Oh, I thought since Fleetwood wasn't selling, I might as well make it a package deal. Two for one, and I stuck Chapin in the same jacket. You did that, did you, huh? Yeah. Didn't quite work like I thought though. And you don't happen to remember anything special about the record? Sure I do! I got a kick out of that 10,000 Pounds of Bananas song! Thirty-thousand, dear. Yeah! Anything else? Um, not really... Am I supposed to? oooo, someone's in trou-ble... Never mind, dear. So Trav, feel like having a couple of chocolate chip cookies. Well as long as I'm going to have those cookies, I'll play you a couple of hands of poker, Charley. Kid, nobody asks to play me poker unless they want something. Maybe I do. Fair enough. Poker's a man's game kid. If you can't handle the ante, you can't play the game. No problem. What's the ante? Play for favors, kid. Everytime you lose, that's another Saturday you spend mowing my lawn. What do I get if I win? A free lunch at the Bull and Bear, everytime you win. Sounds good to me. You ready? I'm ready. You better be ready. Five card draw. Nothing wild. Can you hack that? I can hack that.