Taxi Driver: Hey, welcome to Boston. I guess you've seen our lovely airport already! Good job making it out alive. Where you headed?

You say: I'm headed to the Prudential.

Taxi Driver: Then the Prudential it is.  Here we go.

You say: How much will this ride cost?

Taxi Driver: This ride'll cost you about 22 bucks.

You say: What?!  That's too expensive!

Taxi Driver: Hey, it's on the meter, ok?  I need to make a living too.

You say: But that's a ton of cash!

Taxi Driver: So you want to get out here or what?

You say: No, no... I'll pay it.

Taxi Driver: Hey, we're almost there...!  So you heard good things about this town? Planning on going to the North End, right?

You say: I dunno.  What's the North End?

Taxi Driver: I love the North End.  It's like Littly It'ly here.  My parents were Italian, you know.

You say: Really?

Taxi Driver: You know, I've actually had quite a few fares between the airport and the North End recently.

You say: Oh?

Taxi Driver: Interesting fellows going to Hanover street, always with odd-shaped luggage.  Hmmm.

You say: What was the odd-shaped luggage?

Taxi Driver: Yeah, the packages were flat.  And pretty big and heavy.  They were real careful with them.

You say: Do you know what was in the packages?

Taxi Driver: I don't know what was in the packages. What do you think?

You say: I'm not sure what.

Taxi Driver: Hmmm... So, you know about Boston basketball right?

You say: Not much.  How are the Celtics doing?

Taxi Driver: I give the boys in green a pretty good shot this season, but without Bird, as always, it'll be uphill.

You say: You can say that again.

Taxi Driver: Will you be able to catch a Celts game some time while you're here?

You say: I'm not sure.

Taxi Driver: I've got tickets for this Wednesday night.  Gonna be great.  Out with the guys.

You say: Sounds good.

Taxi Driver: Anyways... So, are you into the sports or high culture or what?

You say: High culture is really more my bag.

Taxi Driver: Well, we've got all kinds of cultural stuff here.  Symphonies, and theater and all that.  I saw Miss Saigon a couple months ago.

You say: How was Miss Saigon?

Taxi Driver: What a great show that was.

You say: I thought so too.

Taxi Driver: ... Y'know, Boston is a really great city.  Never boring, you know?  Can be filthy and expensive and unpleasant and you can be killed in traffic.  But never boring.

You say: No, Boston is nice.  I like visiting.

Taxi Driver: Ah, Boston. I love this town!  What a great place to be.  We got the Red Sox, we got the Celtics, all kinds of good stuff.

You say: You've got some good schools here too, right?

Taxi Driver: Here in Boston we got MIT, of course.  Well, you know, Harvard too.  And BU, and BC and Northeastern, and a whole bunch of other ones too.

You say: MIT is a great one!

Taxi Driver: Hey, my son went to MIT. He's a computer engineer somewhere out in California.  Or Oregon.  My wife keeps track.

You say: You aren't close to your son/

Taxi Driver: Yeah, I'm close to my son and the rest of my family.  But I just have a lousy memory!

You say: Oh, too bad!

Taxi Driver: Interesting...

You say: Apparently.

Taxi Driver: Hey! Is that a police car I see?  I think the cops've had their eyes on me lately. Maybe those Italian guys I've had as fares lately.

You say: You mentioned the Italian guys before.

Taxi Driver: Well, we got some shady business in this town.

You say: Shady?  You mean like the mafia?

Taxi Driver: Yep, I even had some Godfather type in this very cab a couple weeks back.

You say: A Godfather type?  Nice.

Taxi Driver: Was wanting me to be cruising around to unlit storefronts and other shenanigans.  I told him where he could stick it.

You say: Good for you.

Taxi Driver: He gave me a wad of cash and then took off.

You say: Sounds shady.

Taxi Driver: Sheesh.

You say: Uh-huh.

Taxi Driver: Anyways... So have you looked at the paper today?  Funny business abroad, seems like.

You say: What does the newspaper say?

Taxi Driver: Take a look at today's paper.  Seems the Italian government is on the brink of falling apart.  You know why?

You say: No, why?

Taxi Driver: Apparently some of the best paitings in the country have been stolen from the museum there in Florence.

You say: Really?

Taxi Driver: Botticellis, apparently.  He was pretty good I think.  You like art?

You say: Yeah. I do like art.

Taxi Driver: The MFA is right down that street there.  Anyways, I am realizing I love art.  Those Renaissance masters were really great.  I hate that modern art crap.

You say: What's the MFA?

Taxi Driver: I really like Michelangelo.  And Raphael, and Botticelli.  What do you think of them?

You say: You must be hard of hearing.  Oh well.  I like Michelangelo best.

Taxi Driver: Why do you like Michelangelo best?

You say: His form and tone on figures is astonishing.

Taxi Driver: ... So, are you here for business or pleasure?

You say: Well, mostly business actually.

Taxi Driver: Too bad, then.  Will you have any time to see the Boston?

You say: Not too much time, no.

Taxi Driver: Hey, it's on the meter, ok?  I need to make a living too.

You say: Excuse me?

Taxi Driver: So you want to get out here or what?

You say: No, no, I don't!  We're not there yet!

Taxi Driver: ... So, what would you think if some strange guys were caryying strange packages to and from the airport in YOUR cab?

You say: Oh, you're still thinking about that.  I'd think they were smuggling something or other.

Taxi Driver: HANG ON!  Sorry, this traffic is terrible.  Um, what were you saying?

You say: The guys with the flat packages were probably smugglers.

Taxi Driver: Yeah, the packages were flat.  And pretty big and heavy.  They were real careful with them.

You say: Maybe they were the paitings from Italy!

Taxi Driver: Hmmm.....

You say: It's a thought though.  They could have been the stolen paintings.

Taxi Driver: ... So's this weather nice enough for ya?  Last year it was snowing this time of year.

You say: Um, yeah, it's gorgeous. It was SNOWING?

Taxi Driver: Yep.  We always get oddball seasonal stuff here in Boston.  Snowed on April Fool's Day last year.

You say: Wow.

Taxi Driver: OH, hey s'cuse me, but take a look at this little shortcut.  Save you 3 bucks, it will.  Where were we?

You say: The weather, I guess.

Taxi Driver: It's been so nice out lately.  Perfect day for a walk in the common.

You say: Yes it is.  Too bad I'm too busy.

Taxi Driver: Say, you're pretty quiet.  Don't mean to pry, but is something wrong?

You say: No, nothing's wrong. I was actually thinking about your mysterious packages.  What if the men were smuggling paintings?

Taxi Driver: Phew, that's good to hear.

You say: Why is smuggling paintings good?

Taxi Driver: A smuggling operation, huh?  You might have something there. But where are the paintings coming from?

You say: I know!  They must have been stolen from Italy!

Taxi Driver: Ah-HA!  That's it!  THOSE MUST BE the stolen paintings that were in the newspaper!  We've solved it! I'll call the police.  Thanks so much, you get your ride for free.  I am so happy now.