Katie Jeffreys

Mystery Conversation

The Computer Says:
TIPS Version 1.40 - 29 August 1995
Copyright 1994
Government of Canada
All Rights Reserved
Joe's Conundrum
Version 1.30
by Thom Whalen
thom@dgbt.doc.ca
23 May 1995
Copyright 1995
Government of Canada
All rights reserved.

Yo.

I'm here.

 

You say: how are you?

Don't ask. I'm feeling kinda poor right now.

It just hasn't been a good week for me.

 

You say: I'm sorry. Anything I can do to help?

Yeah, sure is.

I got real trouble at work. I think I'm going to get fired.

 

You say: That's not good! why?

Yeah. Well, it's a bad time to be out of work. Especially if my boss

spreads it around that I'm a thief.

He thinks I stole a radio. It was in one of the labs that I clean.

 

You say: did you?

No.

I never stole nothing in my life. But they always blame the cleaners

whenever anything is missing.

 

You say: that's not cool

I don't know.

 

You say: well, what will you do?

Huh?

 

You say: what are you going to do about it?

I don't know what I'm going to do.

You say: how can i help?

You want help? You're talking to the wrong person. I can't even help

myself.

I got real trouble at work. I think I'm going to get fired.

 

You say: yuo said that already

Yeah. Well, it's on my mind.

 

You say: true. so what else is new?

Yeah. Well, it's a bad time to be out of work. Especially if my boss

spreads it around that I'm a thief.

He thinks I stole a radio. It was in one of the labs that I clean.

 

You say: i know!

 

You say: What else is going on?

What do you mean?

 

You say: so how is your wife?

What?

 

You say: What labs do you clean?

I clean all the labs in the Standish Building, but I only ever had thisproblem in one.

The big one up on the third floor. They do stuff with genes and rats.

Professor Michaels works there.

 

You say: Is he noce

I don't know.

 

You say: is he nice?

Huh?

 

You say: Who is Professor Michaels?

He's some kind of famous scientist. He told me he gets lots of money from

the government and goes to conferences and stuff. He must be pretty smart but

his work sounds dumb to me though. He makes bald rats.

 

You say: Why?

Beats me.

 

You say: Do you play withthe rats?

There's a lot of stuff in the lab, but mostly I leave it alone. He only

has a few rat cages. I think he mostly keeps the rats downstairs with the rest

of the animals when he's not workin on them.

 

You say: What other animals are there? What do you mean?

 

You say: Are there many animals?

What?

 

You say: What other stuff is in his lab?

The big one up on the third floor. They do stuff with genes and rats.

Professor Michaels works there.

 

You say: what kind of genes?

I don't know.

 

You say: what is in the basement?

Huh?

 

You say: what other jobs can you do?

I asked him about that once, a few months ago, when I saw him up there

writing on his computer.

I don't understand much about the science stuff they do. He said it was

genes and stuff. He said the government was giving him a lot of money to make

rats with bald spots. I thought he meant he was making them grow that way, so

I was kind of surprised the other night when I saw that he had to shave them

with a shaver. You say: i think he is cheating and lying!

Really? What makes you say that?

 

You say: he had to shave them to make them bald!

I guess you're right, but what does that have to do with me getting fired?

 

You say: well, i bet now that you know that he shaves his rats he is afrad you

will tell on him!

Yeah. I think I understand. So what do you think I should do now?

 

You say: tell the government!

I understand. Thanks a lot. I can get this fixed up pretty damn quick,

now. I'm gonna tell my boss and everyone about this.

 

You say: good!

I better go now. I got people to talk to. Bye and thanks again.

 

You say: bye

Bye, now.

 

End of Conversation