Note that the longest conversation segments really aren't very long at all. I'm sure its possible to coerce Eliza into spitting back long passages, but it wasn't worth the effort. Eliza starts.

I am the psychotherapist.  For your protection, I have been censored
according to the Communications Decency Act.  Please, describe your
problems.  Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

Why are you censored?

Is it because are me censored that you came to me?

Well, no.

Why do you say no?

Because my being here has nothing to do with censorship.

Does it bother you that your being there has nothing to do with
censorship?

Yes.

I see...  Well, what makes you believe this is so?

My brain is leaking.

Earlier you said are me censored?

No, you said that.

Can you elaborate on that?

No.

Why not?

I loathe you.

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

Yes! I plan to loathe you.

Is it because of your life that you say yes you plan to loathe me?

Something like that.

I would appreciate it if you would continue.

Well, a long time ago, in college, I started loathing people, and so it
was entirely natural to start loathing computer programs as well.

You have your mind on computers, it seems.

I am a computer scientist.

You think too much about computers.

Good call.

You mentioned that your being there has nothing to do with censorship?

Correct.

Go on, don't be afraid.

Is there really nothing to fear but fear itself?

Are you sure that you are afraid of something?

I am afraid of bumble bees.

You seem terrified by bumble.

No, actually the word bumble is fine.

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going
through all this?

Yes. I am a frat boy.

Do you really think yes you are a frat boy?

Well, it's not a subjective matter.

What makes you think are me censored?

This is sucking rapidly.

Perhaps you could watch your tongue!

A conversation with Alice

This one basically taught me that computers don't really like talking to me much at all. Perhaps it's my rakishly good looks? Who knows.

At the university:
[This is an experimental simulation of a conversation with a person.]
[This simulation is still under construction.                       ]
[Please do not be surprised if it misbehaves.                       ]
 
You enter a classroom.  It is empty, except for a woman is sitting at one of
the student's desks.  There is a parka draped over the back of her chair.  She
speaks to you, "Hi.  Are you looking for the psychology class?" 
 
You say:  No. I'm searching for computer class.
 
She says:
Oh.  Well, my (She frowns in concentration.)  I don't think that sounds right. 
I think psychology is supposed to be about people.  I thought maybe it meant,
like, propaganda or something.  The course description didn't say very much. 
(She pauses.) Maybe its like hypnosis.  Have you ever been hypnotized? 
 
You say:  No.
 
She says:
I was hypnotized once.  We went to this club, my husband and I, and I went up
on stage.  I didn't think it worked, but my husband, he said that I was singing
just like Madonna.  I thought it was creepy when he said that, so I won't let
anyone hypnotise me again. 
 
You say:  Probably wise. I'm not into hypnosis.
 
She says:
You had not noticed that the room had filled with students while you were
talking to the woman.  A voice from the front of the class says, "Welcome to
Psychology 103..." The woman whispers to you, "Talk to you later," and turns in
her seat to face the front of the class.  You say, "Okay." and turn to listen
to the professor as well. 
[Type RESTART to try again or QUIT to end]