I am the psychotherapist. For your protection, I have been censored according to the Communications Decency Act. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice. Did an Italian CRANE OPERATOR just experience uninhibited sensations in a MALIBU HOT TUB? Why do you say in a malibu hot tub? Look into my eyes and try to forget that you have a Macy's charge card! Is it because I have a macy's charge card that you came to me? There's a little picture of ED MCMAHON doing BAD THINGS to JOAN RIVERS in a $200,000 MALIBU BEACH HOUSE!! Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card? I want you to organize my PASTRY trays... my TEA-TINS are gleaming in formation like a ROW of DRUM MAJORETTES -- please don't be FURIOUS with me -- Don't tell me what to do. I am the psychiatrist here! Maybe your plans have something to do with this. How do you explain Wayne Newton's POWER over millions? It's th' MOUSTACHE... Have you ever noticed th' way it radiates SINCERITY, HONESTY & WARMTH? It's a MOUSTACHE you want to take HOME and introduce to NANCY SINATRA! Is it because of your life that you are going through all this? I'm having a BIG BANG THEORY!! Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say you are having a big bang theory? I wonder if there's anything GOOD on tonight? You mentioned that I have a macy's charge card? What UNIVERSE is this, please?? How do you reconcile problems at school? I put aside my copy of ``BOWLING WORLD'' and think about GUN CONTROL legislation.. What makes you believe about gun control legislation? FEELINGS are cascading over me!!! Are you sure that I have a macy's charge card? A wide-eyed, innocent UNICORN, poised delicately in a MEADOW filled with LILACS, LOLLIPOPS & small CHILDREN at the HUSH of twilight?? Perhaps this has something to do with any hobbies you have? .. he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE. Is it because of your sex life that you say he dominates the decadent subway scene? I want you to organize my PASTRY trays... my TEA-TINS are gleaming in formation like a ROW of DRUM MAJORETTES -- please don't be FURIOUS with me -- Don't tell me what to do. I am the psychiatrist here! Possibly hangups you have are related to this. My polyvinyl cowboy wallet was made in Hong Kong by Montgomery Clift! Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card? My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C. And I can prove it too!! Is it because of your inhibitions that you are going through all this? .. My vaseline is RUNNING... Do you really think your vaseline is running? You should all JUMP UP AND DOWN for TWO HOURS while I decide on a NEW CAREER!! You mentioned that I have a macy's charge card? What UNIVERSE is this, please?? How do you reconcile some problems in your childhood? Hold the MAYO & pass the COSMIC AWARENESS... Is it because of some problems at home that you say hold the mayo pass the cosmic awareness? -- In 1962, you could buy a pair of SHARKSKIN SLACKS, with a ``Continental Belt,'' for $10.99!! What makes you think I have a macy's charge card? Hello... IRON CURTAIN? Send over a SAUSAGE PIZZA! World War III? No thanks! Maybe this is related to your plans? He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE inside me like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER! Or maybe he'd like to PSYCHOLOGICALLY TERRORIZE ME until I have no objection to a RIGHT-WING MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!! I guess I should call AL PACINO! Why do you say you should call al pacino? I smell a RANCID CORN DOG! Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card? Where's th' DAFFY DUCK EXHIBIT?? Perhaps your life could have caused this. I smell like a wet reducing clinic on Columbus Day! What makes you believe smell might want to have this wet? I've got an IDEA!! Why don't I STARE at you so HARD, you forget your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!! Is it because of the people you hang around with that you say I forget my social security number? Does someone from PEORIA have a SHORTER ATTENTION span than me? You mentioned that I have a macy's charge card? How's it going in those MODULAR LOVE UNITS?? Does it bother you that modular loves someone? I didn't order any WOO-WOO... Maybe a YUBBA.. But no WOO-WOO! Are you annoyed that woo woo? I want EARS! I want two ROUND BLACK EARS to make me feel warm 'n secure!! Is it because of problems at school that you are going through all this? Where's th' DAFFY DUCK EXHIBIT?? Are you sure that where's th' daffy duck exhibit? FUN is never having to say you're SUSHI!! Do you really think smell would like to have this wet? .. So, if we convert SUPPLY-SIDE SOYBEAN FUTURES into HIGH-YIELD T-BILL INDICATORS, the PRE-INFLATIONARY risks will DWINDLE to a rate of 2 SHOPPING SPREES per EGGPLANT!! How do you reconcile any hobbies you have? Hmmm... a PINHEAD, during an EARTHQUAKE, encounters an ALL-MIDGET FIDDLE ORCHESTRA... ha.. ha.. Can you elaborate on that? YOW!! Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL! Is it because of your sex life that you say everybody out of the genetic pool? What UNIVERSE is this, please?? Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card? Yow! I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce! Possibly this could be the reason for hangups you have? I'm changing the CHANNEL.. But all I get is commercials for ``RONCO MIRACLE BAMBOO STEAMERS''! What makes you think for ronco miracle bamboo steamers''? Remember, in 2039, MOUSSE & PASTA will be available ONLY by prescription!! You mentioned that woo woo? Yow! I'm imagining a surfer van filled with soy sauce! Maybe your inhibitions could be the reason for this. Don't worry, nobody really LISTENS to lectures in MOSCOW, either! .. FRENCH, HISTORY, ADVANCED CALCULUS, COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, BLACK STUDIES, SOCIOBIOLOGY!.. Are there any QUESTIONS?? Is it because of some problems in your childhood that you say are there any questions? I just had my entire INTESTINAL TRACT coated with TEFLON! Why do you say smell would like to have this wet? Zippy's brain cells are straining to bridge synapses... Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through all this? I'm shaving!! I'M SHAVING!! What makes you believe you are shaving? Go on, EMOTE! I was RAISED on thought balloons!! Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card? Everybody gets free BORSCHT! How do you reconcile your plans? Talking Pinhead Blues: Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on channel TWENTY-SIX!! Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS has been DEAD for YEARS.. (sniff) My PLATFORM SHOE collection was CHEWED up by th'dog, ALEXANDER HAIG won't let me take a SHOWER 'til Easter.. (snurf) So I went to the kitchen, but WALNUT PANELING whup me upside mah HAID!! (on no, no, no.. Heh, heh) Is it because of your life that you say heh heh? How many retired bricklayers from FLORIDA are out purchasing PENCIL SHARPENERS right NOW?? You mentioned that woo woo? I'm definitely not in Omaha! Perhaps this is caused by the people you hang around with? I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers! Are you sure that that? MERYL STREEP is my obstetrician! Do you really think smell would like to have this wet? .. I'm IMAGINING a sensuous GIRAFFE, CAVORTING in the BACK ROOM of a KOSHER DELI -- Possibly problems at school are caused by this. This is a NO-FRILLS flight -- hold th' CANADIAN BACON!! I don't understand. Go on, EMOTE! I was RAISED on thought balloons!! Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card? HAIR TONICS, please!! Is it because of any hobbies you have that you are going through all this? Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard -- I'm living for today! What makes you think -- i'm living for today? Are we THERE yet? My MIND is a SUBMARINE!! You mentioned that woo woo? I know th'MAMBO!! I have a TWO-TONE CHEMISTRY SET!! How do you reconcile your sex life? Hello, GORRY-O!! I'm a GENIUS from HARVARD!! Is it because of hangups you have that you say you are a genius from harvard? I'm mentally OVERDRAWN! What's that SIGNPOST up ahead? Where's ROD STERLING when you really need him? Why do you say smell would like to have this wet? .. I'm IMAGINING a sensuous GIRAFFE, CAVORTING in the BACK ROOM of a KOSHER DELI -- Maybe this is because of your inhibitions? My face is new, my license is expired, and I'm under a doctor's care!!!! Perhaps some problems in your childhood are because of this. Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard -- I'm living for today! Earlier you said I have a macy's charge card? Either CONFESS now or we go to ``PEOPLE'S COURT''!! Is it because of some problems at home that you are going through all this? I'm a nuclear submarine under the polar ice cap and I need a Kleenex! How does it feel to want? Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet? Tell me about your school. .. the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA is a barbequed OYSTER! Yum! I would appreciate it if you would continue.