A World Of Distraction

Thoughts racing.   Focus, focus.   Frenzied; Focus, focus, focus.   Push-down.   Twist cap (righty-tighty, lefty-loosey).   Pour out the   contents.   Select one-white capsule.   Toss into mouth.   Swallow with water.   Wait--fifteen   minutes. The chaos has stopped.   The storm in my mind has passed; the only remnants are the puddles that are merely glimpses of thoughts.   My mind is now clear.

My effective thought process has begun this way since the summer before my junior year in high school.   Up to that point, I worked twice as long as my peers to do at least the same quality of work.   I knew something was wrong from my overabundance of what seemed like careless errors, my difficulty with sight-reading music, and my nervous habits.   Less-than-capable school psychiatrists tried to prod my mind to see what was wrong.   I had to sit in a room with stained walls, broken chairs, and a table that wouldn't sit flat and count squares, repeat sentences, spell words, and add apples and oranges.   The report came back negative.   According to the school district, I was proficient in English, mathematics, and social interaction.   The report went on to say that during the testing, I seemed distracted by tinkering construction outside the window and a noisy fax machine.   Is this not what they were looking for in the first place?   But since I wasn't a failing or misbehaving child, I was "fine."   Eventually, a specialist was able to recognize patterns in my struggles and areas of weakness; I had Attention Deficit Disorder and slight dyslexia.   It was at this time that I realized the full impact of the mind on one's actions.   However, I was in no way prepared for the effects of one single 5-mg pill.

It was not as plain as a light switching on, nor was it as quick.   Nevertheless, when I stopped to notice how the medication made me feel only 20 minutes after I swallowed it, the difference was clear.   My hands rested calmly at my sides, and my thoughts were coherent.   My mind seemed focused on its current task, rather than paging through itself searching for something it never seemed to find.   I felt normal; I could control my thoughts and actions.

For the first time, my brain was functioning efficiently.   Others contended that I was taking "smart pills," and that my medication was making me something I was not.   They seemed to believe that with every pill, my mental capacity grew beyond what they were capable of.   With all the pressure from my peers, I realized I finally functioned as I should have for 16 years.   The complex chemistries of my brain were tweaked and adjusted.   Useless and unnecessary thoughts were easily forced aside and cast away.   This transformation invoked by something not even a cubic centimeter across still mystifies me.  

What disturbs me most is that some people do not believe ADD really exists.   Some of my teachers, and even more discouraging, my friends believed I was faking it.   Why has much of the public adopted this opinion?  

ADD and AD/HD have had bad reputations for years.   The recent increase of children treated for ADD and AD/HD should not be attributed to false diagnosis, but rather to legislation passed in the early 1990's that increased awareness about the disorder and provided for diagnosis and treatment within educational settings.   This increase in school-based services available to children may have made it seem that ADD kids were sprouting up all around, but these kids were just being diagnosed for the first time.   As for the argument of over-medicated kids, you have to understand the inner workings of the brain of an ADD or AD/HD person to know why medication is, in my view, essential.

The National Resource Center on AD/HD says on their website, Help4ADHD, that medications which seem to "cure" the symptoms of ADD directly affect "certain neurotransmitters (brain molecules that facilitate the transmission of messages from one neuron to another). The neurotransmitters involved are dopamine and norepinephrine. Both neurotransmitters appear to play a role in the attention and behavioral symptoms... However, the exact contribution of each neurotransmitter to each type of symptom is not known."   Thus it is hard to predict which medication will provide the best response for a particular patient.   In an ADD or AD/HD patient, these transmitters are "clogged up" or constantly bombarded and unable to send messages fully.   They are paradoxically "under stimulated."   In order to have these transmitters work, stimulants are needed.   Usually, methylphenidate (MPH) and amphetamines are used.    

Whoa!   I guess that is why a good portion of the general public believes we are all faking it.   How could amphetamines do anything positive for a person?   Is America just creating hundreds of thousands of drug addicts?   When I first found out that I was going to go on long-term medication, I was highly concerned about such an addiction.   For all the years that drugs like Ritalin have been used, though, patients have not exhibited any long-term side effects.   To further support the research, I have not become dependent upon the medicine.   I can handle myself fine in most situations, academic or social, without medication as long as I really exert myself to stay in control.   I'd be as I was two years ago.   I even skip doses often, but there is no advantage in doing that.   Once the medication wears off, it is completely out of my system, unlike many drugs.   I'm on a strict regimen of a 6-hour dose of Concerta in the morning and a 4-hour dose of Ritalin as needed at nighttime, seven days a week.   Concerta is a timed-release medication that dissolves in layers to dispense the proper dose of medication.   It is the same thing as Ritalin, but it stays in your system for a longer effective period of time.   I've increased and decreased my dosage over and over again for 2 years as my doctor and I try to find the best fit for me.   Treatment is not instantaneous or easy; the struggle does not end after diagnosis.

So why was I overlooked and diagnosed so late in the first place?   Maybe I didn't exhibit the strongest symptoms of an ADD child, but it has been shown that a large portion of the females known to have ADD were diagnosed beyond the age of 18.   Why is this?   First, adult ADD females tend to exhibit depressive symptoms like high stress, low self-esteem, eating disorders, sleeping disorders, and general anxiety disorders.   We are no longer bouncing off the walls; rather, we are frustrated and feel quite helpless.   We have already learned to cope with the juvenile symptoms and compensate for our disadvantages.   These advanced symptoms seen in the adult population of ADD patients are usually separate disorders treated by psychiatrists.   Every day across America, millions of people are medicated for these disorders that have become so common.   Only recently have they been characterized as ADD effects on adults, especially women.     

How has the nation taken all of this?   Personally, it's discouraging when people don't believe you have a problem when you are educated and mature enough to know you do.   In a few cases, ADD may be just an excuse.   Phyllis Anne Teeter Ellison, Ed.D. wrote in "Myths and Misconceptions About AD/HD: Science Over Cynicism" about many different challenges brought up by the public to ADD and AD/HD (<http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/myths>).   Mothers who cannot handle their raging youngsters may be misdiagnosing their children.   A small fraction of the patients may claim to be ADD only for the drugs. Medication like Ritalin or Adderall can be crushed and snorted much like cocaine--and it gives a similar high to someone who is not ADD.   These drugs are much sought after and therefore tightly controlled substances.   To the general public, the drug abusers and growing children are ruining it for us.   We confuse psychiatrists more than enough because our symptoms vary from patient to patient; why must the mothers of "properly raised" children fight against the medical world?  

Or have these non-believers become riled up over the new ads on TV that show adult females struggling with stress from everyday workloads?   By creating awareness of adult ADD and AD/HD, these ads have rejuvenated the fight against widespread, false ADD.   The ads are produced individually by the pharmaceutical companies.   They name symptoms and then say "If you have these symptoms, you may be suffering from adult ADD."   Each ad goes on to name a brand of mystery medicine that can solve all of an adult's problems--although I have found most commercials just feature women in distress.   By attempting to promote awareness, these ads have aroused the interest of critics of the disorder.   They believe that diagnoses are being made only because of the commercial.  

The serious disorder has taken yet another blow and continues to be degraded.   But where is the truth in the critics' argument?   A mass of people has adopted an opinion on something they cannot relate to.   There is a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected, and with proper medication and dosage, there is a healthy way to solve the problem.