I can still remember hearing the rumble of the garage door closing despite my groggy state. I grabbed some shoes and tumbled through the kitchen, flung the door open, and re-opened the garage door. The engine was warming up in the driveway. "Wait," I called out frantically. "I'm coming with you!"
It was nearly 2 a.m. on Saturday, April 3, 1999, and my parents were about to go to the hospital. Five years later my memory of that day hasn't faded. At thirteen and a half, I would soon become what I'd always dreamt of being: a big sister.
Excruciatingly long, cold hours in St. David's Hospital seemed to melt away at exactly 10:00 in the morning when my little brother, Alvand Kia Moini, was finally born. Nervous and jittery, I recall holding him for the first time and being the first person to ever see his beautiful brown eyes open to the world. Whenever asked about the best day of my life, I always recount this story.
Clearly, my brother claims a huge portion of my heart. His importance in my life began even before he was born,though. After more than thirteen years of living with just my mom, dad, and cat, I felt more than ready for this exciting addition to my life. Because I anticipated my brother's birth so much, it was very important to me to be involved. From the time I learned my mother was pregnant, I immersed myself in Baby World. I soaked up information from a myriad of baby books, countless websites, Parent magazine, and the like. I knew what items we would need and accompanied my mother on every shopping trip to get everything from the perfect bib to crib liners and safety locks. We visited at least 15 day-care facilities around our home in anticipation of his first day away from home and drew up a meticulous analysis of each after the visit.
The hours spent researching and gathering information did not stop when Alvand was born. At the grocery store, I knew which foods were safe and vital at each age and became attuned to Alvand's personal preferences to pick out the most nutritious and delicious foods for him. Records of his first smile, first words, and neck strength flood my calendars and scrapbooks.
I quickly found that the more time I spent with Alvand,the happier and more complete I became. Learning about kids his age and his expected developments made watching him excel increasingly exciting. Helping him discover the world sustained me.
Because both my parents work, I cared for him over the summers, and when I was old enough to drive, I picked him up from day care. We soon developed our routine: number one, take off socks and shoes; number two, go potty; number three, eat some fruit, and so on. Alvand listened to most of what I said to him; a special bond began growing between the two of us that was unlike anything I'd experienced with friends or even my parents. Even when he was very young, I recall joking with him. When he first began speaking, he would call me a stop sign, or hexagon, or whatever new word he was learning.
Over the past few years, my life has changed drastically. As Alvand has gotten older, it has become more and more apparent how bright and intelligent he is. Going to sleep is a chore for him, as he doesn't want to miss out on what's going on. He spends most of his time writing notes, making "projects" with arts and crafts, and playing chess, reading, and math games on the computer. Unbelievably curious, he asks questions literally non-stop and demands legitimate answers.
All of this has taught me an infinite number of skills. Aside from the basics of childcare, the main characteristics I've developed include patience, efficiency, and responsibility. Little kids entail a great deal of work, and getting things done on time is key to staying sane. My patience grows from his curiosity. Alvand seems to have both a plethora of questions and a strong sense of fairness. Both these qualities require me to be both attentive and complete when answering his questions and addressing his concerns (like "How come I don't get to watch Kill Bill ?"). Responsibility is a big one. My being late, for example, meant he had to spend more time at day care, and as much as I approved of his Montessori school, it wasn't home.
By the end of the summer when I was leaving for college, Alvand and I were closer than we'd ever been. Over the summer, I took him to do all sorts of fun things, some of which he wouldn't have been able to do if not for me. We took regular trips to the park and playground, as he did with my parents, but we also saw movies like Finding Nemo and went out to eat with my friends, whom he absolutely adores, probably because they feel the same about him.
Alvand started kindergarten right before I started college. Now I find being away from him just short of unbearable. Every time I call, I get updates on his teachers, level of reading (4th grade, by the way--and he's only five!), and advancement in violin lessons.
Looking back over the past five years, I feel that I gained an experience that most of my peers will have to wait years to enjoy. Playing an active role in the life of a young child introduces levels of responsibility and love that is unlike anything else, especially for an adolescent. The car seat in my baby-safe Toyota Rav4 made this painfully clear to all my friends. My mom-like personality was only reinforced by my brother. I consistently find myself trying to take care of my friends, only to realize that they're not five and can probably decide on their own which jackets to wear. I always wondered why my parents were so cautious and protective of me--it seemed irrational and uncalled-for. After taking care of my brother, I see that it's usually an instinctive behavior. My constant devotion to caring for him makes such acts beyond even myown realization.
I had often debated whether or not I wanted to have kids when I got older. While I can't predict the future, I do know now that I have the desire to have children. My dad always joked that one child (Alvand) was enough for me, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Children bring a new perspective into one's life. They open you up to a unique way of thinking and make you take into consideration what you had always thought was superfluous or unimportant. It is incredible that a baby's critical learning period likewise incites a period of growth in their caretakers. Responsibility and love for a child force us to go beyond ourselves. We must learn to expect the unexpected and prepare for any situation, and life's sweetest gift fills the moments in between. |