“I’m totally bi.”
            “Oh… interesting… you ever make out with a guy?”
           (*Embarrassed face*) “No… urm… not yet.”
            I actually had this conversation with someone from my high school. Believe it or not there was a time when being bi was possibly the coolest thing ever (maybe it still is somewhere). Boys who would normally try to flaunt their heterosexuality as much as possible (certain jocks come to mind) took up being “bi” for the fad and would proudly proclaim “I'm bi!” And that’s about all they’d do. They’d talk about it. They would use it as a way to get with girls: they would (ab)use the perceived intrigue, mystery, and “strangeness” that is associated with bisexuality for their own heterosexual agenda. One of my bisexual friends (an ex-girlfriend actually) calls this fake bisexuality “bullshit.”
            Society swallows female bisexuality (real or otherwise) more easily than male bisexuality. I have heard too many times to count that “It is soooooo hott when two chicks make out.” As Chuck Klosterman points out in his article, “Campus Confidential” from the August 22, 2004 New York Times Book Review, the difference is that when a girl hooks up (or does more) with another girl, society calls it “experimenting” or “exploring her sexuality.” If a guy so much as holds hands with another guy, he risks being called a “flaming homo faggot” (heard that one in my high school too).
            This double standard isn’t fair, but it gets much less attention than the male vs. female promiscuity double standard simply because of raw numbers--and perceived “inappropriateness” for the more conservative persons.
            What has this bastardization of bisexuality done for the acceptance of real bisexuals? (I’m not saying that these self-proclaimed bi’s never take part in any bisexual behavior, but I never heard of any jock-to-jock fellatio in my school.) Based on my high school experience, the pseudo-bisexual movement hasn’t helped the popular kids accept real bisexuals at all. They still made of fun of them… only now they called them “homos.” It appears that once on the outside of popularity it is almost impossible to get “in” with the popular crowd.
            Bisexuality has also made it into mass media. The Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera/Madonna kiss brought in around 21 million viewers on MTV alone. This type of planned stunt actually hurts real bisexuals. Sure, it makes front pages of the gossip newspapers and maybe normalizes the act of two women (or three) kissing… but it still is a scandal. (“Oh my God! Two women kissing?!? That’s so dirty!”) Over the past few years, there has also been a great increase in the number of popular TV shows that highlight homosexual and bisexual relationships. “The L-Word” and “Will and Grace” come to mind.
            Now that I’m in college, I see a lot of “bi-curiosity” –-basically the willingness to experiment sexually with someone of the same sex. The key term is “experiment.” You aren’t homosexual but you’re just having some fun… and it just so happens there’s an attractive member of the same sex sitting next to you. Alcohol and drugs help bi-curiosity a lot: “I hooked up with who last night???” “Don’t worry… you were completely shitfaced… it’s okay.” This excuse implies that bisexual behavior is somehow wrong.
            When I talked to a bisexual friend here at MIT, she described bi-curiosity as “being bi, but not willing to admit it.” She further explained that “When you get the guts to experiment, you are really exploring your subconscious-–it has always been there… you just didn’t accept it until now.” When some people experiment, they feel liberated and they will do some more “exploring.” Others realize that this subconscious idea doesn’t work for them in practice and probably won’t try homosexual experimentation again (at least when they are fully conscious).
            The same friend became quite angry (furious in fact) when I told her there were people who fake being bisexual: “It is so difficult to be bisexual… why do they have to make it harder?!?” She compares these popularity--bi’s with people who cut themselves to be popular in the emo scene (I knew people at my high school who did that too). Bisexual Friend Number Two had a similar view when asked about fake-bi’s: “It’s pathetic and childish and quite insulting. They reinforce the stereotypes.” As an example of one such stereotype, he quoted the “bi now, gay later” stereotype. However, he disagreed about bisexuality being hard: “I think it is actually an easier lifestyle. I have lots of options.”
            Bisexual Friend Number One also wanted to clear up some confusion about bisexuality. She said, “The biggest misconception about bisexuality is that you just flip gender attractions. You are actually attracted to both men and women at the same time.” That is, bisexuals aren’t heterosexual one day and homosexual the next. In agreement with her view on bi-curiosity, she thinks that 80% of people have some degree of bisexuality: “A ‘straight’ male might look at a guy and think ‘Damn… that guy’s hot’ and maybe even fantasize a little bit, but he’ll keep those thoughts down because they aren’t accepted by society.” I agree with her view, as does Bisexual Friend Number Two.
            I don’t think I can celebrate the popularization of “bisexuality” when it has been so misunderstood and has become so disconnected from its true meaning. It has become a way for straight men to get women as well as a shock ploy by the media. That is not what bisexuality is or ever was. It is time that American society finally understands bisexuality and learns to accept it.