B: In the set that is shops, we are the subset pants, yes sir, with a probability of 1.
A: I'd like three pants please.
B: You mean one and a half pairs of pants.
A: Right, I'd like a pants and a half please.
B: But that's only three-quarters of a pair of pants. That's of no use to anyone.
A: I'll have double that then.
B: So that's one and half pairs of pants, is it?
A: Yes.
B: I'm sorry, sir, we only sell integer multiples of pairs of pants.
A: But I've got an above average number of legs!
B: That's true. Indeed, anyone with two legs has an above average number of legs. Although it may be true that most people have two legs ...
[Open University Velcro Sign "Most people have two legs"]
... a small number of people have only one leg. No-one has three legs. That would be weird.
[Another Sign "Having three legs is weird"]
A: Note that we have neglected siamese twins in this analysis.
B: So where did the customer go wrong? Think about it for a moment...
[Comedy Pause]
... That's right!
A: I should have ordered three pairs of pants. As we can see here...
[Another Sign: Monster equation = 3 pairs of pants]
B: Note that in this analysis, we have neglected quantum effects. And boxer shorts.
A: And that's, actually, not quite all we've got time for this week.
B: You see, to maximise mathematical understanding, the BBC have increased our funding
A: For the purposes of demonstartion, we have purchased this pair of technicolour four-dimensional hyperpants. [produces the crazy tie-died pants]
B: These are not like ordinary pants. They have been the subject of intense research work in our department by my colleague Dr. Beard and I.
A: We shall now use them to disprove our original hypothesis that pants can only exist in integer multiples of pairs.
B: We shall, in fact, prove the existence of the single pant, or monopant.
B: This procedure can be performed on the hyperpants. By inserting a twist here and joining the top to the bottom we form the single surfaced monopant.
A: Note that this is not true of boxer shorts, due to the button fly.
B: Although the monopant may appear unwearable, we find that it becomes more pants-like as we approach the speed of light.
A: And that really is all we have time for this series.
B: Thank you.
<End Sketch>
