Sports

Local MIT Professor Gets His Groove On
Boston, MA - This past weekend, MIT math professor Haynes Miller was spotted hanging out at a popular Boston nightclub with an entourage of seven MIT students. When interviewed about his weekend outing, Professor Miller stated, "I thoroughly enjoyed 'getting my groove on' ... [Full story]

Welcome to the online home of D-entry!  We are a living group within MacGregor House at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.  We occupy the 4th through 6th floors of the MacGregor tower.  We have all of the usual amenities of a MacGregor entry - including five suites with their own kitchens, bathrooms, and lounges in addition to a large common lounge.  Plus, we just got a new pool table and DVD player for our lounge TV. D-entry residents enjoy a wide variety of hobbies - some of us are highly active in student government, some love music and the arts, others are dedicated athletes, and there are those few who can't resist the temptation of a high-quality computer.  No matter where your interests may lie, this is an awesome place to live. The Jackfruit is an online publication which is maintained by D-entry residents.  Besides relaying serious, sarcasm-free news, it also provides information about our entry and its residents.  We hope you enjoy this site!

Each of our elected officers serve one year terms.  Elections are held each year sometime before winter break.  Here are the officers for 2005.

Entry Chairs: Moira Racich, Jay Turner

Athletics Chair: Dave Lopez

Social Chairs: Holly Owens, Kate Hollenbach

Security Chair: Julie Arsenault

Recycling Chair: Adam Woodworth

Cabinet Chair: Julie Arsenault

Oven Safety Chair: Kate Hollenbach

Webmaster: Matt Papi

Seve Canales Chair: Mark Burroughs

Domestic Enemy: Matt Papi

Lounge Enforcement Task Manager (LETM): Adam Kumpf

Our GRT (Graduate Resident Tutor) for the 2004-2005 school year is Bryan Davies. 

Click here to see a complete list of D-entry residents.

MIT Community Mourns Loss of Courses Restaurant
Cambridge, MA - The sky was pristine blue during the final weekend of May 2002, but the beautiful weather outside could not uplift the gloomy spirits of thousands of MIT students who realized that the day had finally arrived.

D-Entry Resident Can't Believe Steven Seagal Didn't Star in Chick Flicks
Cambridge, MA - D-entry resident Alex A. ('05) went into shock this past weekend when he discovered that actor Steven Seagal did not star in popular chick flicks.  According to eyewitnesses, this incident occurred one night when a group of MIT students were watching the movie "Ever After," a chick flick starring Drew Barrymore.

Formerly Ambitious D-Entry Chair Acting Like The Biggest Lazy-Ass Ever
Cambridge, MA - Adam Kumpf ('05, maybe), known otherwise as one of the most ambitious and industrious students at MIT, has suddenly become arguably the biggest lazy-ass the world has ever seen. The entry chairperson has not left MacGregor House for over 3 weeks and refuses to do any work whatsoever.

POINT-COUNTERPOINT: Conflict in D-World
Typical human interaction within D-entry

ADVICE:
Ask a Freshman Who's Trying Too Hard To Impress People At Orientation

Upperclassman Loses Bet, Must Live With Underclassmen For Two Years
D12 SUITE - Junior Neal Mankad, formerly a resident of the D32 Suite populated by juniors and seniors, lost a bet at the end of last term and was forced to live in the D12 "nursery" suite with freshmen and sophomores.  "People say I'm a dumbass," Mankad asserted, "but Alex and I seriously thought that Steven Seagal was in Ever After."  D12 residents seem optimistic, especially Seve Canales, who will feel like a movie-trivia genius with Neal hanging around.

Desperate Security Chair Resorts To Theft In Order To Make Himself Feel Needed
D32 SUITE - Entry Security Chair Ben Zeskid was arrested Friday after suspicious residents found stolen items in his room.  Zeskid later admitted that he stole because he felt "bored and unneeded" as security chair and hoped that he could later prove to be a hero by "finding" the stolen goods.  Five of Ji Zhang's specialty magazines, three bottles of Matt Bilotti's favorite beverage, and seven Dell laptops were confiscated from Zeskid's room.  Suspicions arose after Zeskid stayed up past his 10:00 bedtime one night and yelled, "Dude I got lots of Dells!"  In addition to theft charges, Zeskid was also booked on one count of excessive irony.

Deadbeat Residents Run Out Of Excuses To Skip IM Soccer Game
D-ENTRY - Frequent game-dodgers Philip Guo and Ben Walker were forced to actually play for the team they signed up for last Monday due to a rare lack of excuses.  "I had already used my 'playing wheelchair basketball with Steven Hawking' excuse," Guo said.  Walker, former Canadian soccer team captain, added, "Well shit, we should have a better plan for getting oot of games, eh?"  A small group of D-entry residents now hold IM Soccer Avoidance Drills each Sunday.

Study: Residents Start Term Excited About Classes; Later Don’t Give A Damn
D-ENTRY - A recent research project by students in 15.666 (Useless Surveys) revealed that, in general, people get lazier in their studies as the term progresses.  Youngsun Cho signed up for 16 classes at the start of last term, but sadly concluded her semester with a meager 2 ½ classes plus a job as a test subject at the new Sleep Research Center.  Only Regina Sullivan actually managed to increase her class count, a feat made possible by her ever-present Severe Anality Disorder (SAD).

Trance Dancer Scares Residents Shitless, Literally
D12 BATHROOM - No one in the D12 Suite has been able to relieve himself for days due to an unidentified trance dancer doing his thing in the pitch-dark bathroom.  Resident Omar Bashir, whose room is closest to the bathroom, says a flying LED light on a string almost clipped him when he tried to enter.  He complained further, "Damn, I can't sleep, all I hear is 'Wooooo aw shit, aw shit!' all night long."   Entry chair Adam Kumpf, always resourceful, is now building what he calls a "toilet-desk" out of wood and discarded Easy Mac boxes.

Entry Resident Found Guilty on Electronics Theft
D32 SUITE - D-entry resident Ben Walker has been charged with 8 counts of battery after a local electronics store noticed a shortage of double and triple Eh! Duracells. In an attempt to "shorten" his sentence, Walker allegedly claimed he would ground himself for life. However the judge wouldn't budge as he frowned upon Walker's negative attitude. Walker was subsequently sentenced to 6 months in a dry cell.

Last updated: September 6, 2004