You Ann |
An amazing cook, suspect ensnares victims by adding just the right amount of a certain white powder to his or her meals. Suspect known for raiding "kids" section in department stores. Though appearing gentle in most circumstances, references reveal that suspect can "kick more than just butt." Suspect deals best when problems solve themselves.
Weapon: Apple-peeler 2000 |
Elizabeth Bernager |
Though picture-perfect and smiling, the suspect really CAN hear what people say through deceivingly large headphones. Suspect is accompanied by marvelous X-Ray vision when "studying" with a certain Ed. Weapon: The Eighteen O Two Book |
Christina Chaoguilera |
Interviews with neighbors reports good personality and sociable behavior. However, has been known to appear dangerous while cooking. Records have shown malicious destruction of tupplewear container tops. Weapon: The Longstick Softwood Spatula |
Je Chaq |
Although suspect has a gentle, princess-like appearance, officials were informed of a past record of stealing bears and burning scrambled eggs. Suspect also has destructive wipe-out capabilities and a dangerously luring voice when singing boy-band songs. Weapon: Fencing Sword |
Lalala Heys |
Although appearing friendly, suspect capable of kicking the gluteous maxima of other people. Suspect has often claimed, "I am not a man!" and has a highly distinguishable laugh. References have revealed the malicious ability to convert "Doe, a deer, a female deer" to "Dough, the thing that buys me beer." Weapon: The Nimbus Chopsticks 2001 |
Chaka Khan |
Suspect dangerous due to extreme nerdity. Known for good cooking skills, ability to switch gender, and a terrible wrath. Suspect has a habit of stealing delapidated chairs, printers, and copy-machines at 2 am in the morning. Weapon: The Mechanical Pencil |
Princess Prii |
Suspect is member of Conner 2 royalty. Though small in stature, suspect always travels with an 8-ft tall wookie and the Institution's Treasurer. As Conner 2 Princess, suspect has cunning communication skills, although deceivingly claiming to have failed the FEE.
Weapon: The Butt Wiggle |
Mack Yan |
Records have shown suspect previously investigated as mafia member. Suspect difficult to catch due to camouflaging abilities into a twig. Mafia members refer to suspect as "Fleeceman." Suspect known for exceptional skills in using bombs and quakes. Weapon: The MatrixMagnum Look |