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Carlin-Leary Personality Assessment Matrix

G. L. Dryfoos

"According to the great philosopher Carlin, we have 3 classes of problems in this country: [1]

  1. the genuinely stupid
  2. the full-of-shit, who sound stupid but aren't...
  3. the fucking crazy"

-- R.A. Wilson

The observation above inspired this investigator to create the Carlin-Leary Personality Assessment Matrix. The Matrix allows one to more precisely describe anyone by specifying the subject's relative amounts of Stupidity, Full-of-Shit-ness, and Craziness.

Definition

The C-LPAM is defined as an abstract "personality space", any point of which identifies a unique proportion of Real Stupidity (R.S.), "Fucking Craziness" (F.C.), and "Full-of-Shit-ness" (F.S.).

The C-LPAM itself is based on research by Dr. T. Leary in personality typing, assessment, and change. Various instruments devised by Leary use the graphic approach to indicating and recording a subject's placement and movement along a variety of social role spectra ("Avoidance-Confrontation" "Dominance-Submission" "Self Directed-Other Directed" etc.)

According to Leary, this type of personality assessment is best used on repeated occasions, to map the subject's movement over time through the personality space.

The Grid

The Carlin-Leary Grid (see Figure 1) is a graphic representation (in version 1.0, a simple printed form) used to indicate and record a subject's placement in the matrix personality space.

Carlin-Leary Grid -- Labelled Demo
Figure 1 (PDF version)
Carlin-Leary Grid -- Blank
Figure 2 (PDF version)

Using the Grid

Each vertex of the grid represents the maximum point of a given characteristic, while the zero amount of that quality is found along the opposite edge.

For example, a person who was completely "Really Stupid", with no admixture of either "Fucking Crazy" or "Full of Shit" would be located at the exact RS vertex of the grid.

On the other hand, a hypothetical Evil Genius (what with being a "genius" and all) would have zero amount of "Really-Stupid" but would be equally both fucking-crazy and full-of-shit. Thus, the Evil Genius would placed along on the RS=0 axis, midway between the FC and FS vertices.

Similarly, the typical Crap Artist, being not at all crazy, but entirely a combination of Really-Stupid and Full-of-Shit, would be on the axis farthest from the Fucking-Crazy vertex, halfway between RS and FS.

Score Placement on the Grid

Since the Matrix describes the relative amounts of RS/FC/FS, in this model the total quantity is always fixed. (See Figure 2.) For technical reasons, the sum of all three components has been fixed at 23. (For mixtures of three quantities that always equal a fixed amount, a gauged equlateral triangle has an appropriate format.[2].)

Again, each side of the grid represents the zero point of one of the three traits. Thus one indicates a certain amount of that quality by counting away from that edge, with each interior parallel line being a unit measurement. I.e. for someone rated as a 17 in "FC", one would start at the bottom edge of the triangle (FC=0) and count upwards 17 lines. A specific amount of either of the other two attributes will fix a point along the FC=17 line. Since the total of the three attributes is fixed equal to 23, the specification of any two necessarily defines the third.

Future Research

It is hypothesised that regular on-going assessment of a subject's C-LPAM placement may yield trajectory information that could be valuable for various therapeutic and predictive purposes.

Assessment Instrument

There is at present no assessment questionnaire or test specifically for the C-LPAM, but this investigator has had good results using the "Donut Shop Method" in which habitues of a nearby coffee and donut establishment were asked to describe various public figures, in terms of the C-LPAM categories "Really Stupid", "Fucking Crazy" and "Full of Shit".

Dietary concerns and issues of personal safety, as well as an interest in extending the C-LPAM to those outside the public eye indicate the need for a specific Carlin-Leary Personality Assessment Matrix Assessment Instrument [C-LPAMAI].

Conclusions

It is hoped that further funding will allow the development of the C-LPAMAI.


NOTES

[1] According to Carlin:

“How many really stupid people you run into during the day? Goddam there's a lot of stupid bastards walking around. Carry a little pad and pencil with you. You'll wind up with thirty or forty names by the end of the day. Look at it this way: Think of how stupid the average person is and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. And it doesn't take you very long to spot one of them does it? Take you about eight seconds. You'll be listening to some guy... you say... ‘This guy is fucking stupid!’

“Then... then there are some people, they're not stupid... they're full of shit. Huh? That doesn't take very long to spot either, does it? Take you about the same amount of time. You'll be listening to some guy... and saying, ‘well, he's fairly intelligent... ahht, he's full of shit!’

“Then there are some people, they're not stupid, they're not full of shit... they're fucking nuts!”

[2] This same triangular grid is used in many fields to denote relative proportions of a fixed total (usually 100%). Eg., in soil texture studies: of clay, sand, and silt; in jewelry alloys: of gold, silver, and copper; in dating: of food, entertainment, and affection.


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