Charlotte: There's no dry period for tits!

Deanna: I don't want to look at the pokemon's nipples!

Kyle: Hang on, let me put watermelon on her ass.

Deanna: I have so many possessions that exist only in the abyss.

Gil: It was like, how many nipples does a camel have? Sixteen! You get a blowjob!

James: Bemis Penis Defense: Cock and Load

Haley: It is an ECOSYSTEM of despair.

Haley: I'm sorry you can't make out with him because he's pooping.

Mateo: I like my women like I like my milk: rich, white, and 2 percent fat.
Adin: I though you were going to say 'filled with cream'...

Hiccup: I think if I were to make the face like I wanted to sleep with someone it would just be my face

Rudy: Yeah man, you look at the sky and be like, yo I need a scratch ticket

Adin: Is "cunt" a bad word?

Kyle: I'm a work voyeur. I really like watching other people do work.

Trevor: If you walked down hall and threw a stone, you'd probably hit a bisexual.

j-neezy: I'd only hit Quaker pussy.

j-neezy: If i could, i would blow smoke directly into their mouths.

Helena: First baby food, now a stroller ... who the FUCK is using their uterus around here?

Luna: It's like the difference between eating a fetus and eating a baby

Adin: I can fuck my first cousin and so can you. Thanks, Einstein.

Deanna: Maybe Elon Musk is into homeless chicks.

Danny: I'm channelling Adin and just jizzing on this song.

Dan S.: And then he gave me a watermelon; that's when everything went to shit.

j-neezy: It's all about hymen integrity

Danny: Deanna, I have a personal problem with a hall member. And it's you!

Adin: And this from the guy who broke his back trying to suck his own dick.

Haley: Kids these days with their animal rights and their smoking of blunts.

Adin: That's what marriage is: eternal 69ing until death

Nightwatch: I hope she's not a freshman.

Deanna: If I masturbated in the shower, I would flood east campus.

Everyone: Rudy, when is the 5E social going to happen?
Rudy: It'll happen this year, I promise!

Adin: I think that meal just ripped out my scrotum and replaced it with a new scrotum made of bacon.

Adin: I don't know why homeless people are cold, look what I just did with this bag.

Danny: I feel where you're coming from.
Adin: Why are you feeling my dick?

Daniel, No no no you can stick your dick in an ass without it being gay.
Adin, No, the government can tell the difference between male and female poop because females don't poop.

Deanna: I was about to say I keep weird hours but then I realized who I was talking to.
Syler: I don't keep hours, I just lose them.

Molly: So double ended dildos are like.. Super Christian!

Rudy: She told me I couldn't lactate, but I can. I CAN.

j-neezy: I'll fuck anything once if it has lungs and a heart.
Haley: So you'd fuck a cooler of organs.
j-neezy: What? What the fuck kind of question is that? No, that's GROSS.

Luna: Does 'being a twinkie' mean being in Guild AND being an asshole?

Danny: I try so hard not to judge people, Deanna, and you make it super difficult.

Jordan: Barry cat can do whatever he wants. Barry cat can have his way with me!

Henry: I watch my brother make out with people...he's 14.

Charlotte: You can't fuck food more than once.

Niraj: What is snapchat?

Henry: That's a double-digit number of times I've thrown up from drinking too much eggnog this season.

Henry: I like to imagine my father angrily masturbating...

Grace: She just has boobs for days.

Charlotte:There's always wiggle room! And by wiggle room I mean bisexuality.

Molly: I'll come file taxes with you as soon as I finish drawing this picture of a sick wolf.

Lauren: It's like krotus has always been in my soul and he's working his way to the surface.

Molly: Barry, I'm gonna penetrate you with my LOVE.

James: It's like a metaphor for my dick going into a virgin's vagina.

Leah: I had a dream that Danny was judging me.

Rachel: Henry, my ass would crush your ass.

Adin: You can't be 22 and dating a 15 year-old without smoking pot.

Charlotte: Why would you put a tiny smurf on your dick? Why? Why???

Rudy: Her ass is grass

Dan: I'm diggity down to burn in hell with you guys.

Molly's twitterbot: You are consenting to a giant problem!

Danny: I don't understand how people could be biphobic. I'm afraid of so many things, I couldn't just pick two.

Deanna: Do you have any metal songs about fucking shit?
Adin: Oh, you mean the band Shit Fucker?

Leah: It's not gay if it's Thranduil.
Nirali: It's just common sense.

Dan: Henry, this room is a room of Jesus. Close your goddamn legs.

Henry: If you put food in front of me you can finger me all you want I'm not stopping.

Charlotte: Dude you just look super hungover right now.
Dan: And mega gay.
Henry: Sounds like fifth east.

Charlotte: You were leaning over my sink trying to dip a single boob into a bowl of water, and that's when I thought about my life choices.

Grant: It's really weird how every time you have your penis in someone's mouth, you're trusting them not to bite it. I'm really glad that's worked out so far.

Henry: Jesus needs me.

Larn: I'm like a missile flying through the forest that miraculously doesn't hit any trees, but doesn't really know why it's in the forest in the first place.

Cami: Henry, you are not of age. Close your legs.

Fuzzy: I would bang Elizabeth Warren, except she's definitely a lesbian.

Chris: Can we ship our sinks to California to help with the drought?

Cami: Republican gay friend?
Leah: Yeah. He's like a shiny pokemon.

Henry: I had my legs open for a reason.

Henry: Gotta drown out the sound with my massive 18 inch adult jackhammer dong.

Molly: What's vulcanization? Is that when it goes through a process to remove all its feelings?

James: You can't kill me, I'm invincible!

Grant: I love supporting diseases! They deserve to win.

Leah: See, I don't get that. My entire sexuality is just being mean.

Leah: I'm still not convinced that Trump isn't an elaborate piece of performance art. I'm waiting for the reveal.

Leah: Shallow Walcott shower is like an angel gently crying on you.

Guy from fixit:
"It's all the same. Wood, Walcott, what the fuck?"
"Summer is being wasted and that shit could be done! I authorize it, man."
"Isn't this like the best dorm? I love this place."

after Leah and Larn describe their plans of being 60 year old vigilantes:
"Some of the worst movies in the world have plots like that."
"There's clerks, there's baked, there's jay and silent bob, and there's like three others that I can't remember because... Well you know, you know what I do when I watch those."

Luna: I want to push the baby bus, it looks so fun.

Leah: There's a cause and effect relationship between dicks and babies.
Grant: That's how I feel about vaginas.
Leah: Those also look like sea creatures, so that's reasonable.