Alex: You're in the angst-woods, climbing a tree to escape the angst-wolves. And you know what's in the tree? Angst-bats! And angst-spiders!

Kim: [Mitsi] could hurt me.. She's bigger than me, emotionally.

Alex: It's no use, Di's as stubborn as a thousand goats.
Vogt: That's okay, I'm as stubborn as *two* thousand goats!
Alex (after Vogt gave up): Man, you're like, 4-, 500 goats, tops.

Alex: Faster! Stronger! More monogamous!

Kim: Besides, if that were true, I would have a moral obligation to live a more functional life.

Crystle: I told Alex that he was bringing his curse again.
Kim: Well, he does drive a Cursemobile...

Alex: Being with Crystle and Phife is like being in a room where they've discovered the new gravity, but you're the only one who doesn't understand.

Kim: That was a sneak-preview of my retardedness.

Beth: If you try to cover it up, you're as bad as the Drow perpetrators!
Kim: So I'm an Elvish Holocaust denier, am I?

[over AIM]
Alex: or, more like :-( :-( :-( :-! :'( :-\ :-( :-(
Kim: huh, who is who?
Alex: the fourth one is any drunk person
Alex: the fifth one is you, cause you cry
Alex: :-[ could also be you, though you're harder to embarass now.
Alex: number six could be Di
Kim: nah, I like the original more.... :-(
Alex: :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(
Alex: why bother doing a hall photo? take a screencap
Kim: heh
Alex: ok, looking at them is making me sad.

Jessie: I think that would be a "poor idea"; you know, like what we were talking about in the hall earlier.

Peter: That's a piece of fetishwear.
Sarah: *Deirdre's* a piece of fetishwear!
Peter: Yes, I'm sure many people with fetishes would like to wear her.

Clayton: Raise your hand if the [bright pink] backpack makes you want to die.

Yelena: My *blood* does not hurt.

Yelena: He dumped me for Jesus. By email.

Clayton (re: GTA): Let's play the hospital game! Press A to breathe. Press B to lose the will to live!

Clayton (also re: GTA): I am a golden god of destruction! I decide who lives and dies!
Kim: I'm not sure this game is good for you....

Kim: And really, what's the point of doing a meme if you're not going to take it seriously?

D2: That's because smoking cock doesn't cause cancer!
L (White): Do you have any idea how bad anal sex is for your colon?
Clayton: That's why you're staying on bottom.
L: Well, remember, we only agreed that I'd stay on bottom because you couldn't handle The Python.

MTraum: Sharon had a headache, so White was the closest pussy I could find.

During a routine freshmen mass purity test:
Clayton: "Have you ever had sex for personal gain... money, drugs -"
D2: "Does bandwidth count?"

MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 14:56 (sexei alexei)
You!
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 14:57 (sexei alexei)
fear shall be your dinner
Zephyr sent to akhripin 15:43 (Zsig: another casualty of applied metaphysics)
oh? and why is that?
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 15:43 (sexei alexei)
because the terror is for supper.
Zephyr sent to akhripin 15:45 (Zsig: another casualty of applied metaphysics)
i think that's more than the recommended daily value of horror. they're all the same vitamin
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 15:48 (sexei alexei)
no no, it's like B12 and B2 and shit
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 15:48 (sexei alexei)
sound similar, but different! And, say, vegetarians need
extra B12, and space hussies need extra terror

-/ PERSONAL / kbeth 19:50 (I should work on my thesis - wouldn't that be novel?)
...and, the tab key doesn't work. i hate technology.
-/ PERSONAL / akhripin 19:53 (sexei alexei)
sup upon the failure of your ways
-/ PERSONAL / akhripin 19:53 (sexei alexei)
look upon your crumbling works and despair
-/ PERSONAL / akhripin 19:54 (sexei alexei)
flee outside, only to be burned by the electric light of
the nightmare you've come to live in
-/ PERSONAL / akhripin 19:56 (sexei alexei)
"overdramatizing mundane events since 1998"
-/ PERSONAL / akhripin 20:03 (sexei alexei)
also, "robot hate the monkey"

dmariel / PERSONAL / akhripin 00:10 (sexei alexei)
that's because you're high.
dmariel / personal / dmariel 00:11 (Diandra M Lucia)
if the drug is tool-amine, then yes
dmariel / PERSONAL / akhripin 00:11 (sexei alexei)
toolacil sounds better.... or toolagra
dmariel / personal / dmariel 00:12 (Diandra M Lucia)
toolamine sounds more illegal.
dmariel / PERSONAL / akhripin 00:13 (sexei alexei)
true. 5-meo-toolamine
dmariel / PERSONAL / akhripin 00:14 (sexei alexei)
lysergic acid ditoolamide

"I think the most religious experience I've had was being hit over the head with a brass cross." - Ross Wendell

"I'm almost willing to make a fool of myself on stage by shaking my booty; I'm not willing to make a fool of myself on stage by 'creating a vocabulary of body language.'" - Kim

"I don't think that his dignity can bear a funky hat." - Kim

[over AIM, re: Reawakening sacrifice]
Kim: don't you think chains are a *bit* much?
Kim: poor crystle
Di: *she's* the kinky, Phife-dating one!
Alex: No, a bit much would be chaining her to a volcano and blowing her up with a hydrogen bomb, Scientology style
Kim: NO VOLCANOS
Alex: I'm just not going to say anything to that Di.
. . .
Alex: I'm surprised you didn't say no H-bombs.
Kim: well, i don't think you have any chance of obtaining an H bomb
Alex: And I have a chance to obtain a volcano??

Zephyr sent to akhripin 18:20 (Zsig: another casualty of applied metaphysics)
I need to tool soon
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 18:20 (sexei alexei)
tooling is for quadripalegics and flipper babies.

Kim: fine, eat her heart, see if i care

Alex: Conan the Barbarian has nothing to do with anything.
Kim: your *mom* has nothing to do with anything

Kim, to Clayton: If you can't play nicely with the knife, I'll take it away!

dmariel / personal / lianaiad 21:16 (Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world)
sekrit classes are for SATAN
dmariel / PERSONAL / akhripin 21:16 (sexei alexei)
Sekrit classes are for losers
dmariel / PERSONAL / akhripin 21:16 (sexei alexei)
SATAN is not a loser.

Alex: *I* will be reincarnated as a hot girl. You, on the other hand, are going to the seventh level of Hell.

Alex, to Claytron: Look you, go back to your Python-based lollipop dreamworld.

Kim: I've come to terms with the fact that my friends have violent tendencies. It just means I'm extra-safe!

Clayton, to Kim: Where's my shirt? ...It occurs to me that this [mess] was okay when it was just me and the room, but now you don't know where on the floor I'm keeping my hypodermic needles.

re: Rasputina
-> MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 23:32 (sexei alexei)
I want to have their alien eggs laid in my brain.

Di: By the way Kim, I'm pretty sure Jenova cells really are evil and not just 'misunderstood.'

Alex G: Boobs *are* cooties, it's where they live.

Di: You know, Clayton, somewhere along the line I got this silly idea that you were a reasonable person.

Clayton: Wow Sheets, you've got a lot of problems. Problems that I *respect*.

re: books "Flat Land" and "Flatter Land: Like Flat Land, Only Flatter."
Nick: Dude, I wanna write "Flattest Land: Like Flatter Land, Except It's the Superlative. Bitch."

Kim: This game is so cute, you just want to -
NickH: Vomit?
Di: Kill everyone?
Kim: - curl up in a little ball...

NickH: i'm not giving you a smoothie and oral sex!

on Zephyr -
vogt.lyrics: carry on my wayward son
kilroi: "aka clayton"?
akhripin: so who's the Holy Spirit in your trinity?

akhripin / PERSONAL / akhripin 14:19 (sexei alexei)
at this rate, I will spent 3000 dollars this month...
akhripin / PERSONAL / rax 14:20 (I have no skin (except for caresses).)
Might want to kick that cocaine habit then.

As the freshmen formed a mighty Katamari and "rolled" down the hall, picking up chairs, whales, things...
Kim: *This* is why Bush wants to outlaw video games!

Ross: Wow, you have a Windows mouse on a Mac computer?
AlexG: My computer's bi.

dmariel / personal / dmariel 15:50 (another casualty of applied metaphysics)
you're not a ninja, cool though you may be
dmariel / PERSONAL / akhripin 15:50 (sexei alexei)
How do you know? I could order that ninja outfit right now
and be a ninja. I might already have it.
dmariel / personal / dmariel 15:50 (another casualty of applied metaphysics)
a black t-shirt wrapped cleverly around one's face does not a ninja make.
-> dmariel / PERSONAL / akhripin 15:51 (sexei alexei)
a cleverly modified hoodie does though

Clayton: I'm just control-a-a away from all kinds of religious warfare.

Kim: Insurance means never having to stab your own abcess with a needle.
Alex: I *like* stabbing.

-> Zephyr sent to akhripin 17:51 (Zsig: another casualty of applied metaphysics)
i don't know if girly goth folk rock is what you're looking for
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 17:52 (sexei alexei)
no, it is not. Though I bet I can be your cover
band/remixer.
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 17:53 (sexei alexei)
I bet Kim sounds bitching at 50% speed with some sort of
Voltron filter on her.

DSheets: I'm not a girl that often.

Clayton: Dude, penguins rock. Look at the little bitches waddle!

Kim: If you scritch Clayton, he will *end* you.

MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 17:06 (sexei alexei)
mm. Now, I know this might be difficult, but I have to ask
something, something important, because you are a close
friend and I care about you...
Zephyr sent to akhripin 17:07 (Zsig: another casualty of applied metaphysics)
..yes?
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 17:07 (sexei alexei)
when the hatchlings break forth from your body, leaving
your writhing husk in its last agonies....
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 17:07 (sexei alexei)
.. can I have your stuff?

Lex: The Spawn of Krotus will sound like James Earl Jones gargling razor blades. Obviously.

Clayton: I'm only saving Zambian children at this point; it's not like it's for a grade.

on Zephyr:
Sarah:
I believe that lovers should be chained together,
Thrown into a fire with their songs and letters,
And left there to burn,
Left there to burn in their arrogance
---- / PERSONAL / akhripin 22:34 (sexei alexei)
Dear Sarah,
-> ---- / PERSONAL / akhripin 22:35 (sexei alexei)
The goth subculture receives many excellent applications
every year from people all over the world.
---- / PERSONAL / akhripin 22:35 (sexei alexei)
While your application was certainly impressive, we regret
to inform you that the goth subculture cannot admit you at
this time. We wish you the best of luck.

Liz: Rax has been turning me on to a lot of new things lately, like black olives, and shanking people.

Di: You should know, by now, that the price of thought is happiness.

[while listening to Anne Rice's "Christ the Lord", and child-Jesus accidentally curses and kills a boy]
Alex: "Jesus, you don't want to keep hurting people, do you?" (puts hair over his face a la The Ring) "I do.. and I can't stop..."

Clayton, to Sheets: I will cut out your small intestine and tie it into a loop, and leave you to die as your own bowel obstructions lead you into a dark pit of despair.

re: taking someone's virginity
AlexG: It should totally have that sound like when you're playing a video game and you open a treasure chest... do-do-le-do!
NickH: Yeah, and "You leveled up!"

Sheets: Look Alex, there are holes in our conversation, you need to fill us in...
AlexG: I'm not going to fill in your holes!!

Di: I have*manners* when it comes to metaphysics.

Sheets, during a lounge conversation: Oh my god, I'm covered in cum from all this wanking!

Kim: Punch him in the face!! *That* would be the *appropriate* thing to do!!

Kim: Rage! Rage against the machine!
Rachel: But that microwave is so polite!
Di: You could rage against the fridge that broke.
Kim: Fine, I'll rage against *that* machine.

GregP: I don't remember plot, I remember themes; I think about things... I don't remember details. I don't remember what I did yesterday!

Sheets: It's *with* entrails, not *on* entrails. Fun with prepositions!

Sheets: Zak had a friend over the other day... They looked alike, talked alike... I think they're growing them somewhere.

Sheets: I want to rape the people making that ad. 'Where you at?' is not a sentence! RAPE WITH A RAZOR DILDO!!
Sarah: That wasn't a sentence, either...

Sheets: Grammar, bitches, Jesus!

Sheets: Jews for Jesus? That's stupid. Now, Juice for Jesus... Buy juice, give up Jesus! Renounce your faith; 100% juice!

Clayton: Fortunately, it fluoresces, so I can see when I fucked up.

Kim: Technically, just because you don't get paid doesn't mean what you're doing is a public service.

Kim: I suspect that in my Afterlife [as a ghost on 5e] I shouldn't read Livejournal.
D2: Yeah.. there's Deadjournal.

out of the blue:
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 22:20 (sexei alexei)
you may be interested to know that I am working on reading
your thoughts.

Clayton: Man, all this talk of Eric Schmiedl makes me want to beat someone.
AlexG: Like Eric Schmiedl?

Phife, to Kim: There were all these times that I came up to this hall, and I wanted to give someone here a nice can of whoopass... I mean, it's right here in my pocket, and it's hard to carry these things all the way up here, and I've got it right here in my pocket.. but you won't let me give it to them!

Cwalsh: ei - ei = o

Kim, re: road trip to get a hall cougar: "Yes, I'm sure they'd welcome us long-haired hippies in Texas, where we intend to capture a member of a native species and put it in a hatchback...."

Bruce Willis,in some movie: "What do you want me to say?"
MattF, passing through: "Say 'nipples'!!"

-> MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 12:03 (sexei alexei)
also, it tastes like being mouth-raped by a minty hobo
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 12:05 (sexei alexei)
it's "mint ginger ale" you see
-> Zephyr sent to akhripin 12:04 (Zsig: another casualty of applied metaphysics)
so instead of 'ginger' they meant to say 'hobo'?
MESSAGE / PERSONAL / akhripin 12:06 (sexei alexei)
well, or maybe instead of mint, they meant another hobo, I
don't really know...

akhripin / PERSONAL / akhripin 11:15 (sexei alexei)
you know, my life has been funner since I moved my bad
comments from -unhelp to -help

"Yeah, our generation shouldn't have children.." - me
"No I mean, no one should ever have children again, people should become extinct. Birth control!! Abortions for all!" - Irene

"I'm going to strangle myself with Christmas cheer!" - Sarah

cwalsh: "Don't you know? To be a saint you have to kick some heathen ass."

AlexK: No, just thought of it now. At night, I sit around thinking about misery. Or death. Miserable death... oh, food, too, and ravioli. Chunky tomato sauce...

AlexK: well, so long as you can pass classes and not make with the pregnancy, you'll be fine :) Remember, mortals are ok for love, but Krotus owns your womb. and if you don't get into medical school, you can always live on the commune and grow tubers of some sort.

Kim: I have very low Wrath... it's like having very low iron, except it makes me aviolent rather than anemic.

Kim: You all, over IAP, should take that Bioethics class that's plastering the Infinite.
Ross: No, we should just make uber-hamsters!

AlexG: I am against ethics. If anything has anything to do with ethics, I hate it.

Noah: Clayton, who are you?
Clayton: I'm Xena, Warrior Princess!

Yelena: You had a dream about Vogt?
AlexG: Yeah, I had a dream in which he was Jesus, with a golden bong and purple weed.
[Vogt lets his hair down Jesus-style, and Alex "Alex-dances" out of the room]
Kim: Put your hair back, you Revelationed him away!

Cwalsh, to Di: Your face had a strange shape just then... oh, I think because you're smiling.

Di: You have to be a certain level of miserable before you can commune with Krotus. I'm not advising you to be miserable though... I'm just sayin'.

Alex: Tire irons can be incorporated into almost any decorating scheme! You can make a hat-rack out of tire irons.

Kim: And thus I think we understand the "balance of terror."
Alex: I see more an escalating "spiral of terror."

Alex: I will be 'unsane,' beyond sanity.
Kim: Is that like beyond Thunderdome?
Alex and Di: No.
Alex: Though Thunderdome may be "unlegal."

Alex: Where by "cookies" we could mean "drugs."

White, re: a video game: I don't care, she can hurry up or get left behind.
Kim: You should care, I'm pretty sure she's going to turn out to be the Receiver of Wisdom.
White: I don't care if she's the Receiver of My Cock, she can hurry up or she can get left behind!

Sheets: So what are you learning in P-sy-ch-ology?
NickH: That Vulcans have no emotions *points to a picture of Spock in textbook*

[Jessie: Wanting a Drosophila farm reminds me of Rax's plan to have a puma on hall.]
Brian: Trust me, I don't want Drosophila for sexual pleasure.

Clayton: "Need" is a tricky word. "_Need_ to get the cow on the dome" is such a complicated phrase.

Kim: That's how I knew they were undead; they had to take the SafeRide home.

Yelena: Hate should taste like blood. If you don't taste blood, go bite someone.

Kim: I took 18.03 *three* times!!
Ross: Of course you took it 3 times, that's what the three stands for. And it's what the 2 stands for in 18.02!

Ross: What the hell are you listening to?
Clayton: It's Lauryn Hill, like, from the Fugees
Ross: Um, Ok.
Clayton: You do remember the Fugees right?
Ross: No.
Clayton: Where were you in 1996?
Ross: Elementary School
Clayton: Get Out