Cultura

You are cashing a personal check at a bank, the employee reads your name on the check and addresses you with your first name. / Vous touchez un chèque dans une banque, l'employé lit votre nom sur le chèque et vous adresse la parole en utilisant votre prénom.

Cultural Shock
Posted by Susanna on March 1, 2004
I come from an Asian background. It was not until two years ago, I went to an international high school in U.K. and started calling my teachers and housemasters by their first name. I was very used to addressing people (especially my teachers and other strangers) by their titles to show my respect for them. I was shocked when I first realised that it was alright not to address those people by 'Mr.', 'Dr.', 'Ms.'... which, however, I gradually got used to after a couple of weeks.
I am speculating that this might be one of the reason why some students from France would repond to the situation by finding it uneasy to be addressed by their first name at the bank teller. Would this be a correct speculation?

Formality
Posted by Alicia on March 1, 2004
It seems that there is a much higher level of formality in France than there is in America when it comes to interactions with people we don't know. I think, in general, America has pretty informal traditions when it comes to addressing people. For example, my employer asks me to call him by his first name. Also, many people will address their step-parents by first name instead of calling them "Mom" or "Dad." So, for me, it isn't strange for others to address me by my first name. I was wondering, what kinds of formalities exist in France? Do you automatically address people by their family name? For example, if you go over to your friend's house, do you address their parents by first name or by last name? (In America, a lot of people would address friends' parents by first names).

Form of Address
Posted by Alicia on March 1, 2004
As I thought about this situation, it occurred to me that normally, I am very used to people addressing me by first name. I think that is because in school, growing up, teachers would always call on students by first name. Thus, we become very accustomed to being addressed by our first names. Even now, in college, my professors will always address me by first name. The question then becomes, when do we transition from identifying with our first names to identifying with our last names? I think in America, this transition slowly happens during college and the years following that. What about in France? When is it that you transition from being called by your first name to being called by your last name? Is there a marked moment? Also, is there a time when people transition from addressing you with "tutoier" to "vousvoyer"?

Strangers to Friends
Posted by Katherine on March 1, 2004
As Susanna and Alicia previously stated, it seems that the code of address between strangers and friends is quite rigid. It is definitely more formal than in the US. And, as I spent most of my life in the US, I was wondering when one transitions between the formal "vous" address one gives to strangers and the informal "tu" address one gives to friends. That is, when is it okay to call someone by their first name and use "tu"? For how long do you have to know them?

Does age matter?
Posted by Felipe on March 1, 2004
I noticed that some French students mentioned the age of the bank teller as something relevant. I guess that nowadays when people have the same age it is fine to address each other using first names? Is that correct?

Le tutoiement
Posted by gaelle on March 2, 2004
En France, Alicia a raison, nous sommes assez formels quant à notre discours envers des inconnus. Nous nous addressons tout d'abord, nous appelons nos professeurs Monsieur ou Madame. Ce phénomène est d'ailleurs présent dès la petite enfance où nous appelons nos instituteurs : Maître ou Maîtresse. Concernant les parents de nos amis que nous n'avons jamais vu, il est vrai que le vouvoiement est souvent de rigueur.Je pense que la transition entre le vouvoiement et le tutoiement d'effectue quand la personne ne nous est plus inconnue, que la différence d'âge n'est pas trop élevée, et que la fonction n'impose pas un respect particulier. Cependant, quand 2 personnes de même âge ou presque, le tutoiement s'impose souvent automatiquement. Et vous, tutoyez vous vos professeurs? Et les personnes agées?

Well...
Posted by Katherine on March 3, 2004
It really depends here in the US. I know that I have a tendency to call my professors by their first name if I know them well enough. By well enough I mean outside the classroom on non-academic matters. However, in class, I believe that most people simply call their professors "Professor -------" (the blank is for the last name). Or simply skip the title and go directly to whatever question they wanted to ask. With people who are much older than you are, I believe that most people will address them with a Mr. or Mrs. and their last name. Unless you know them very, very well. For example, I have a neighbor who's around two to three generations older than I am and I address her by her first name. However, not only do I know her very well, she asked me to. Actually, that brings to mind a question I have: how do you address a person who you've known a long, long time (say your whole life), but is a great deal older than you? Does the close relationship signify an end to the "vous" and a beginnning to the "tu" despite the age gap? Or does the age gap form an impenetrable barrier nonetheless?

My experience with formality
Posted by Howard on March 3, 2004
In my experience, people will usually let you know how formal you need to me. Amongst people of around the same age, I automatically refer to them by their first name, even if I don't know them well. Is this the same in France? When you meet someone of the same age for the first time at college, do you refer to them with tu or vous? For older people, I usually call them Mr./Ms./Mrs. (last name) the first time we meet, and they will usually ask me to call them by their first name if they want me to. This happens not necessarily to be informal, but some people simply prefer to be called by their first name. Does this situation ever occur in France?

first name preference
Posted by Nicholas on March 5, 2004
Although we are all students, we deal with younger children every now and then, and I was wondering if anybody feels strongly as to how they are addressed by them. With me, I would far prefer to be called by my first name over my last name. I would feel somewhat pretentious not to ask someone to call me Nick, instead of Mr. Cordella ( for instance when I worked at a summer camp). I don't see any time in the near future when I would prefer my last name, either. I guess it'll come in time, especially if I become a teacher or professor. How about among the French (don't be shy): Do you insist on being referred to in the formal sense by young children?

Culture Difference
Posted by Yong-yi on March 5, 2004
I think people here value being able to call each other by first names because it signifies that we are all friends. I also think that in general AMericans are quite apathetic towards things. I was wondering if any of the French students have every been to the states and experienced something similar to extreme informality and how you feel about it.

formel/informel
Posted by gaelle on March 9, 2004
Alors, tout d'abord, je voudrais dire que les français, notamment à mon age ne demandent pas que les enfants les vouvoie. Pour ma part, je préfère que les gens qui me connaissent m'appelent par mon prénom. Cela ne me dérange pas. Généralement, ce sont les individus plus agés qui demandent à ce qu'ils soient vouvoyés.

le vouvoiement
Posted by Clémence on March 9, 2004
je ne suis pas d'accord avec gaelle! je ne pense pas que ce sont les individus plus âgés qui demandent à ce qu'ont les vouvoient, seulement c est ihné, on met une certaine marge entre les adultes et nous en guise de respect, en effet, les grandes personnes ne sont pas nos amis, ils ont une certaine expérience qui engage naturellement cette marque de considération. Personellement, quand je m’adresse à quelqu’un dans la rue qui est susceptible d’avoir mon âge, je le vouvoie car je ne le connaît pas et je ne me permettrai pas de m’adresser à lui comme si s’était un ami .
le tutoiement vient naturellement;
pour finir, il n y a rien qui m'énerve le plus lorsque quelqu'un (un commerçant, un vendeur, un inconnu en résumé!!) me tutoie alors que je ne le connais pas, surtout quand c est quelqu'un de plus âgé; cependant les enfants qui peuvent s adresser à moi me tutoie car je suis quand même encore jeune!

Familial addresses
Posted by Katherine on March 11, 2004
What about your family? How do you address cousins, sisters, brothers? Hmm...that's not very clear, is it? What I mean is, do you address family members as Little Sister, Big Brother, etc or Clara, Andrew, etc? I know that, in some American families, one addresses one's siblings by their name. In some Asian families I know (particularly the Japanese), one addresses one's family members by their relation (Big Sister, Big Brother, etc.). How do they do it in France?