The american responses seem tinged with the notion of interruption or disturbance while the french are characterized by respect and recognition. At some point these notions can collide: is there a point where greeting someone becomes more of an interruption than a show of respect? To some extent a greeting requires mutual respect. For example, would a french student greet a professor of a lecture class of say 30 students where the student has never personally spoken to the professor (except for questions in class)? More generally, at what point does a greeting become polite?

One phrase posted by a student from L'Ecole Polytechnique that interested me was that a rude person does not look the other person in the eye. I generally think of this action as one that displays fear or guiltiness, but do not related it to impoliteness. Does not looking someone in the eye convey that you aren't paying attention to him or you don't care about what he is saying?

Just as a general comment, I found it interesting that the French students say that a rude person is someone who doesn't say "hello". It did not occur to me at the time, but I guess that we just jumped to the worst things people can do. It is good to realize that it can also be rude to not do a simple action such as saying hello.

Yes, Viviana is exactly correct. It's interesting that it is considered rude not to have eye contact or to say hello. At MIT, it is not uncommon to forget to do either of those two things. It's also interesting that the students from MIT seem to emphasize that a rude person interrupts everyone in their conversations. How frequent do people interrupt each other in France? In terms of rudeness, how does it compare to eye contact, etc.?

Students at MIT and students at Ecole Polytechnique agree that a rude person is someone who does not consider or respect others. As for specific attitudes or behaviors, MIT students mention interuption, while the students of Ecole Polytechnique mention being inquisitive.

In general, the norm of politeness changes with time. Has France experienced any significant change in the norm of politeness recently?

The comment about "saying hello" is quite interesting. A friend of mine was telling me when he was in France, he went into stores without greeting the staff. Consequently, the staff acted very rude towards him. He interpreted the staff's attitude as the general French attitude towards Americans. Which is, the French don't like the Americans, especially American tourists, very much. I wonder perhaps it was because he didn't say hello. In America, it's not a big deal to go into a store without acknowledging the staff. Is it the opposite in France?

One of the first things that my future French colleagues told me about being a foreigner in France, is that people are going to be rude to you, unless you always say both "bonjour"and "s'il vous plait". When I buy a ticket at the T (Boston's metro) I usually just say "One" and give the money. In France, it is expected to say "Bonjour, un billet, s'il vous plait". Now, I'm not sure if this is a sign of rudeness versus politeness or just different social conventions. Is the ticket ventor really happier after he's heard "bonjour" a hundred times?

I started thinking about the whole "bonjour" issue and I noticed something peculiar about greetings in different parts of the US. I'm from the south, (Texas) and I have to say that people are much nicer in the south than in the northeast. I'm not saying that every time I go to the supermarket in Texas I greet everybody with a "good afternoon," but I usually smile and try to be friendly with the cashier. In fact, many times I'll be walking my dog down my street and the people that pass by me will either smile or say something like "Howdy". I was quite surprised at how different people's attitudes were in Boston. My own neighbors (living on the same floor of my dorm) didn't even say "hi" to me! I'm sure that some of them didn't intentionally try to be rude, but it sometimes came off that way. In that respect, I can understand why many French people have such a negative view of American tourists. It definitely took me a while to get used to the dry and emotionless interactions I had with the other students in my dorm. They all seemed highly self-involved and antisocial.

Are some parts of France considered more or less friendly than others like here in the US? And if so, why do you think this difference exists?

En réponse à Stéphanie, il est en effet impoli de parler à quelqu'un sans le regarder dans les yeux : on pourrait alors qualifier l'orateur de timide voire honteux ... il n'assume pas ce qu'il dit ?

En réponse à Matthew, s'il est important de regarder la personne dans les yeux, il est capital de ne pas lui couper la parole : elle pourrait l'interpreter comme une agression, une atteinte à sa liberté! Si vous voulez critiquer quelqu'un, attendez qu'il ait fin et profitez de ce temps pour être plus cinglant encore !!!

Pour finir, concernant le "bonjour", "s'il vous plait", "merci", "au revoir"... c'est une question d'éducation et de tradition. Je crois que les Americains s'excusent souvent :"sorry"... Nous fonctionnons différemment. De plus, il est aussi très mal vu de rentrer dans un magazin en lançant un "bonjour!", "bonjour madame/monsieur/etc" est beaucoup plus approprié!

En réponse à Gerardo, le Sud est plus chaleureux, le Nord est plus froid ... mais les amitiés du Sud sont plus éphémères quand les liens que vous créez dans le Nord sont plus forts. Peut être est-ce dû à des conditions de vie qui traditionnellement étaient plus difficiles dans le Nord de la France, zone historiquement industrialisée et minière.

si vous avez un quelconque commentaire, n'hesitez pas!

En réponse à Iordanis Kerenidis, j'ai une amie qui a travaillé dans une boulangerie dans un supermarché et qui trouvait agaçant que certaines personnes lui disent seuleument "une baguette" mais qui appréciait que les clients fassent une phrase avec bonjour et s'il vous plait. Le bonjour montre en effet qu'on ne s'adresse pas à un distributeur automatique mais bien à une personne que l'on reconnait en tant que personne, ce qui est important pour le vendeur. En réponse à Gerardo, je crois les petits villages sont plus chaleureux, tout le monde se connait plus ou moins et quand je croise quelqu'un dans la rue chez moi, je dis automatiquement bonjour alors que dans les villes, même s'il n'y a pas beaucoup de monde, les gens ne se disent pas bonjour ( à moins de se connaitre) dans la rue,c'est plus impersonnel mais dès qu'on s'adresse à quelqu'un, on dit bonjour.