REFLECTIONS

• Reflection 1

  My first thought was "Is this accurate?". I sat there watching the dancers. They danced an African dance. I did not know anything about it, and I wondered if they did either. Most of the class was white, including the teacher. Thus, there was a great chance that they were not of African descent and did not have much knowledge of the African context. Though I do not like to stereotype, I could not help thinking of the possibility that the teacher "borrowed" the dance somehow. For example, perhaps the teacher had been to Africa, learned the dance, and then come to America with that knowledge. The accuracy of the technical aspects, such as the movements of the dance, did not bother me as much as the accuracy of the mentality and interpretation of the dance. By "accuracy of mentality and interpretation", I felt there was a certain appreciation, awareness, or right involved in all actions, perhaps especially cultural ones. If the dance had a necessary meaning or required a certain attitude, then I wondered whether the students and teacher were capable of giving it or containing it.
  
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  Reflection 3

  The drumming class was very much like the African Repetoire in that there were no questions of ethnic authenticity. The atmosphere was welcome and friendly, and everyone had a great time.
  
  

  Perhaps I felt less ethnic apprehensions because the only African reminders were Mamadou and the drums. Thus, there was no one and nothing to feel guilty to, or out of place with. I enjoyed the class freely, and void of cultural meaning.
  
  

  Towards the end of the class, however, a black person came in with his drum and started playing. I was immediately aware of the difference between him and me. If a white person had come in, I would have mildly felt that he was invading the group because he was very late and thus owed a commitment to the group. But, this person was black and seemed to be conscious of being African. He had almost a pride or an arrogance. Mamadou even called him "brother". (Maybe they knew each other, I don't know.) I felt like he had the right to participate and be late. In this situation, it was I who felt out of place and as the intruder or maybe the imitator.
  

  back to Drumming Class

  Reflection 4

  My experience in the Beginner African Dancing class was the least pleasant. One reason for the uneasiness was that I actually took part in the class and danced; I do not like to dance, especially in front of people. Thus, I was already physically and psychologically awkward and uncomfortable. Second, after having thought about and analyzed my previous two experiences in the global culture context, my mind was focused on issues such as inside and outside and the issue of belonging to a culture. Being so deep in these thoughts, my mind was paranoid to almost every detail that I observed. Finally, the Beginner African Dance class contained more references to the African culture: the African art, the singing, many black people and the background of each dance. These reminders caused me to be more aware of my difference and my right to partake in such a cultural activity.
  
  

  My conclusion for African cultures after the class was that I did not fit in, could not fit in, and did not want to fit in. These feelings I related to the issue of cultural authenticity. During the class, I asked myself whether I was receiving the true African dancing experience (if such an experience exists). Being non-African, could my experience ever be culturally authentic? Dancing in that class, I felt like a cultural tourist and an outsider. And, in this situation, I probably was one; the only reason I had attended the class was to explore issues of global culture for my final project. I felt guilty because I was treating the culture and all the people as a specimen. Having to impose this condescending viewpoint, I felt like I had no right in participating in something I still respected. In my mind, I had no chance of truly taking part. The result was frustration towards myself, towards the African culture, and towards the global culture class. Making a dancing fool out of myself only exacerbated the situation.
  
  

  Thinking back, in any dance circumstance such as this, I probably would have had the same reactions, but I would have thought of different reasons for them.
  

  back to Beginner African Dance

  Reflection 5

  After going to Mamadou's house, I learned some general information: Mamadou comes from Senegal, his parents come from Mali, the djembe is West African, the songs are in a language Mamadou is not very familiar with. Knowing all this, one of my main stereotypes -- that "African" is a culture -- became clear to me. Africa is not one homogenous entity. I saw that Mamadou, too, does not ancestrially originate from the culture that he is living and taking part in. I learned that the djembe is not universal to all African people. My apprehensions about innate right to African culture were lessened because it was no longer one mysterious entity. Mamadou also said how all art and music are universal, and thus he encourages others to learn the djembe. I felt less intrusive, seeing that learning and adapting is also universal.
  

  back to Drum Making

  Reflection 6

  Watching one of the final steps to tightening the rope on the djembe, I realized that something simple can appear complex; the ties looked more difficult than they really were. I found that I did not have to know or understand the whole history of an Afican culture to figure those knots out. Another one of my fears was unraveled; I realized that fear in any culture might just be caused by ignorance and fear of the unknown. I had been somewhat intimidated in approaching drum making and African drumming because of what the whole cultural mystery might imply. However, after learning more, I found that, as Mamadou said, it's no big deal.
  

  back to Drum Making Continued

  Reflection 7

  Drumming is fun. I feel that I do have a right to it. The ownership of any activity may be solely in the enjoyment and love of the person. Once I acquire enough experience, drumming will probably become a part of me. Drumming will be something normal and something that I do. People have not continued drumming or dancing in this world just to prevent a cultural activity from going extinct. They drum because they want to and love to.
  
  

  After attending the drum lesson and playing on my own djembe, I decided to disregard issues of ethnicity and authenticity. If I really wanted to enjoy what I was doing, those issues could not really matter or exist. Perhaps in ignoring the cultural aspect of the drumming, I did what I did not want to see other people doing. But, I was drumming to drum, not to analyze the situation for global culture class.
  

  back to Drum Class

  
  

CONCLUSION

Before I attended the dance and drum classes I was afraid to approach. I was more afraid of approaching an established group of people, rather than a culture. However, after attending more classes, I began to feel more comfortable, having met the people and having gotten to know them better. I also became more familiar with the routines and proceedings of the classes, and I developed an algorhythm of travel to each particular location. And, I enjoyed the drumming a lot. The more I became comfortable, myself, the less purposes of global culture became an issue.

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