The TOP TEN lines you'll never hear on Star Trek: The Next Generation

10) Worf: Klingons do *not* play tiddlywinks!

9) Picard: It's too bad we don't live in an enlightened, civilized era like
they had in the twentieth century.

8) Geordi: Did you hear Wesley almost got kicked out of the academy again?
They caught him smoking pot!

Data: (looks puzzled) Pot? (brightens) Ah. Marijuana - a narcotic obtained
from the hemp plant. Cannabis. Weed. Mary Jane. Grass. Reefer. Panama
red...

7) Troi (to someone she is counseling): You've obviously mistaken me for
someone who cares! Now get out!

6) Worf: Ouch! I got a paper cut!

5) a Starfleet admiral: Don't worry about it, Picard, there's plenty of
other ships in your quadrant.

4) Riker: Not tonight - I have a headache.

3) Worf: Do we have to beam down right now? The Smurfs are on subspace T.V.!

2) Geordi: We've modified the warp coils by reversing the polarity of the
inverse geometric phase integrator and adding a broad-band neutrino flux
generator to the hyper-magnetic field controls.
Riker: What will that do?
Geordi: Not a damn thing, but it sure as hell *sounds* impressive!

1) Picard: Oh, screw the hailing frequencies. Fire all phasers!