All this exposure to the OK soda ad campaign spurred me to break down
and buy a can of the trendy stuff.  I've just tried some, and frankly I'm
disappointed.  I just cannot see the reason for all this hype over a can
of Fresca with cherry extract thrown into it.  Tell me it wasn't an
accident at one of the Coca-Cola plants; I <I>dare</I> you!  And the ad
people think they're so <I>fucking</I> clever by naming the stuff "OK" so
that when the try it you think it's kind of cool why you automatically
answer "Eh, it's OK."  Wow, such wit.   Well, MAYBE they could have
called it "Tastes like shit" soda and people REALLY would have gotten a
kick out of it!  Who the fuck do these people think they are, plastering
frenetic commercials all over daytime tv with wild flashing images and
so chock-full of subliminal suggestion that I involuntarily start
tearing around the house screaming "MY MOTHER IS THE ANTICHRIST" at the
top of my lungs everytime I watch too many of them?!  And the fucking
polar bears!  What, did Coca Cola monoploize the Polar bear market?!
Where the fuck do THEY get off throwing these huge man-eating mascots in
my face?!  I can't watch tv anymore without seeing seventy or eighty of
them on the screen at a time!!  I flip channels too fast and they start
shooting out the side of the set!!  And, Christ, there's one climbing
out the top of this can of OK!!  They're all over the kitchen floor,
stealing all my Cheez-its!!!  OH JESUS, their climbing up my legs, I can
see them burrowing into my intestines and chewing up my liver!!!
THEY'RE CLIMBING OUT MY HEAD!!!  OH GOD!!  WHY DOESN'T THE FCC <I>DO</I>
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?!?!  AGHGHGHGAHAGHHAGHAGHAHHGHGHHAHHAH!!!!