One of the essential ingredients to being successful as a manager and leader is building trusting, credible relationships with a team and with others across the organization. As many experienced managers know, building trusting relationships with a team can pose many challenges, particularly in times of change. One way for managers to foster trust and credibility with his or her team is to approach these relationships from a coaching perspective.

As part of a study that was conducted in the late-1990s to learn about how MIT could improve the effectiveness of its managers, MIT employees identified qualities that they value in good managers. These employees concluded by explaining that these very qualities of their managers motivate them to do their job well and reach performance goals. Here’s what they said:

Good managers ....

• Ask questions to help me think through, for myself, how to solve the problem
• Listen to me
• Believe in my ability and in me
• Give me honest feedback
• Are supportive and encourage me to develop in my job
• Hold me to high performance standards

These qualities form the basic foundation of good coaching practice. While many of us understand the meaning of these qualities, we might not always know how to demonstrate them ourselves. What can you do so that someone else sincerely thinks you believe in his or her abilities? How can you listen so that another person sincerely believes you are listening to him or her? These questions become even more difficult to answer when we think about the nature of the relationship between a manager and the people he/she leads.

Because a manager is ultimately responsible for the work of his/her group, she may feel pressure and a heightened sense of responsibility for her group’s work. This pressure can conflict with the underlying dimensions of coaching, which ultimately require the manager to trust and be patient with others. If you are interested in learning more about how you can manage your emotions when feeling the pressures of your responsibilities, see our When Emotions Get in the Way article in the Communicating with Others learning topic.

Listed below are specific things a manager can say and do to foster productive and healthy relationships with the people they manage and lead.

Adapted with permission from training course materials by Brian McDonald, MOR Associates.

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