Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Lyrics: Tim Rice

Music: Andrew Lloyd Webber

Prologue -- You Are What You Feel

NARRATOR:

Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do Before their time on this planet is through Some just don't have anything planned They hide their hopes and their heads in the sand Now I don't say who is wrong, who is right But if by chance you are here for the night Then all I need is an hour or two To tell the tale of a dreamer like you

We all dream a lot -- some are lucky, some are not But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it's real You are what you feel

But all that I say can be told another way In the story of a boy whose dreams came true And he could be you

Jacob and Sons

NARRATOR:

Way way back many centuries ago, not long after the Bible began Jacob lived in the land of Canaan, a fine example of a family man Jacob, Jacob and sons, depended on farming to earn their keep Jacob, Jacob and sons, spent all of their days in the fields with sheep

Jacob was the founder of a whole new nation, Thanks to the number of children he'd had He was also known as Israel but most of the time His sons and his wives used to call him dad Jacob, Jacob and sons, men of the soil, of the sheaf and crook Jacob, Jacob and sons, a remarkable family in anyone's book

Reuben was the eldest of the children of Israel, With Simeon and Levi the next in line Napthali and Isaachar with Asher and Dan, Zebulun and Gad took the total to nine Jacob, Jacob and sons, Benjamin and Judah, which leaves only one Jacob, Jacob and sons, Joseph -- Jacob's favorite son

Jacob, Jacob and sons

Joseph's Coat (The Coat of Many Colors)

JACOB:

Joseph's mother, she was quite my favorite wife I never really loved another all my life And Joseph was my joy because He reminded me of her

BROTHERS:

Yechh!!

NARRATOR:

Through young Joseph, Jacob lived his youth again Loved him, praised him, gave him all he could, but then It made the rest feel second best And even if they were --

BROTHERS:

Being told were also-rans Does not make us Joseph fans

NARRATOR:

But where they have really missed the boat is

BROTHERS:

We're great guys but no-one seems to notice Joseph's charm and winning smiles Fail to slay us in the aisles

NARRATOR:

And their father couldn't see the danger He could not imagine any danger He just saw in Joseph all his dreams come true

Jacob wanted to show the world he loved his son To make it clear that Joseph was the special one So Jacob bought his son a coat A multi-colored coat to wear

BROTHERS:

Joseph's coat was elegant, the cut was fine The tasteful style was the ultimate in good design And this is why it caught the eye A king would stop and stare

JOSEPH:

When I got to try it on I knew my sheepskin days were gone

NARRATOR:

Such a dazzling coat of many colors

BROTHERS:

How he loved his coat of many colors In a class above the rest It even went well with his vest

NARRATOR:

Such a stunning coat of many colors How he loved his coat of many colors It was red and yellow and green and brown and blue

Joseph's brothers weren't too pleased with what they saw

BROTHERS:

We had never liked him all that much before And now this coat Has got our goat We feel life is unfair

NARRATOR:

And when Joseph graced the scene His brothers turned a shade of green His astounding clothing took the biscuit

BROTHERS:

Quite the smoothest person in the district

JOSEPH:

I look handsome, I look smart I am a walking work of art Such a dazzling coat of many colors How I love my coat of many colors

NARRATOR & ALL:

It was red and yellow and green and brown And scarlet and black and ochre and peach And ruby and olive and violet and fawn And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve And cream and crimson and silver and rose And azure and lemon and russet and grey And purple and white and pink and orange And red and yellow and green and brown and blue

Joseph's Dreams

NARRATOR:

Joseph's coat annoyed his brothers

BROTHERS:

But what makes us mad Are the things that Joseph tells us of the dreams he's often had

JOSEPH:

I dreamed that in the fields one day, the corn gave me a sign Your eleven sheaves of corn all turned and bowed to mine My sheaf was quite a sight to see, a golden sheaf and tall Yours were green and second-rate and really rather small

BROTHERS:

This is not the kind of thing we brothers like to hear It seems to us that Joseph and his dreams should disappear

JOSEPH:

I dreamed I saw eleven stars, the sun and moon and sky Bowing down before my star, it made me wonder why Could it be that I was born for higher things than you? A post in someone's government, a ministry or two?

BROTHERS:

The dreams of our dear brother are the decade's biggest yawn His talk of stars and golden sheaves is just a load of corn Not only is he tactless but he's also rather dim For there's eleven of us and there's only one of him

The dreams of course will not come true That is, we think they won't come true That is, we hope they won't come true What if he's right all along?

The dreams are more than crystal clear, the writing on the wall Means that Joseph some day soon will rise above us all The accuracy of the dreams we brothers do not know But one thing we are sure about -- the dreamer has to go!

Poor Poor Joseph

NARRATOR:

Next day, far from home, the brothers planned the repulsive crime

BROTHERS:

Let us grab him now, do him in, while we've got the time

NARRATOR:

This they did and made the most of it Tore his coat and flung him in a pit

BROTHERS:

Let us leave him here, all alone, and he's bound to die

NARRATOR:

When some Ishmaelites, a hairy crew, came riding by In a flash the brothers changed their plan

BROTHERS:

We need cash! Let's sell him if we can

CHORUS OF WEEPING MAIDENS:

Poor poor Joseph, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do?

BROTHERS:

Could you use a slave, you hairy bunch of Ishmaelites? Young, strong, well-behaved, going cheap and he reads and writes

NARRATOR:

In a trice the dirty deed was done Silver coins for Jacob's favorite son Then the Ishmaelites galloped off with a slave in tow Off to Egypt where Joseph was not too keen to go It wouldn't be a picnic he could tell

JOSEPH:

And I don't speak Egyptian very well

NARRATOR:

Joseph's brothers tore his precious multi-colored coat Having ripped it up, they next attacked a passing goat Soon the wretched creature was no more They dipped his coat in blood and guts and gore

Oh now brothers, how low can you stoop? You make a sorry group, hey, how low can you stoop? Poor poor Joseph, sold to be a slave Situation's grave, hey, sold to be a slave

One More Angel in Heaven

BROTHERS (Levi sings lead):

Father, we've something to tell you, a story of our time A tragic but inspiring tale of manhood in its prime You know you had a dozen sons -- well now that's not quite true But feel no sorrow, do not grieve, he would not want you to

There's one more angel in Heaven There's one more star in the sky Joseph we'll never forget you It's tough but we're gonna get my There's one less place at our table There's one more tear in my eye But Joseph the things that you stood for Like -- er, truth and light never die

When I think of his last great battle A lump comes to my throat It takes a man who knows not fear To wrestle with a goat His blood-stained coat is tribute to his final sacrifice His body may be past its peak but his soul's in paradise

There's one less place at our table There's one more tear in my eye But Joseph the things that you stood for Like truth and light never die Carve his name with pride and courage Let no tear be shed If he had not laid down his life we all would now be dead

There's one more angel in Heaven There's one more star in the sky Joseph we'll never forget you It's tough but we're gonna get my

Potiphar

POTIPHAR:

Potiphar had very few cares I was one of Egypt's millionaires Having made a fortune buying shares In pyramids

Potiphar had made a huge pile Owned a large percentage of the Nile Meant that I could really live in style and I did

Joseph was an unimportant slave who found he liked his master Consequently worked much harder, even with devotion Potiphar could see that Joseph was a cut above the average Made him leader of the household, maximum promotion Potiphar was cool and so fine But his wife would never toe the line It's all there in chapter thirty-nine Of Genesis

She was beautiful but evil Saw a lot of men against his will He would have to tell her that she still Was his

Joseph's looks and handsome figure had attracted her attention Every morning she would beckon

POTIPHAR'S WIFE:

Come and lie with me love

POTIPHAR:

Joseph wanted to resist her, till one day she proved too eager Joseph cried in vain

JOSEPH:

Please stop! I don't believe in free love

POTIPHAR:

Potiphar was counting shekels in his den below the bedroom When he heard a mighty rumpus clattering above him Suddenly he knew his riches couldn't buy him what he wanted Gold would never make him happy if she didn't love him

NARRATOR:

Letting out a mighty roar Potiphar burst through the door

POTIPHAR:

Joseph, I'll see you rot in jail The things you have done are beyond the pale

CHORUS OF WEEPING MAIDENS:

Poor poor Joseph, locked up in a cell Things ain't going well, hey, locked up in a cell

Close Every Door

JOSEPH:

Close every door to me, hide all the world from me Bar all the windows and shut out the light Do what you want with me, hate me and laugh at me Darken my daytime and torture my night

If my life were important I would ask will I live or die But I know the answers lie far from this world Close every door to me, keep those I love from me Children of Israel are never alone For I know I shall find my own peace of mind For I have been promised a land of my own

Just give me a number instead of my name Forget all about me and let me decay I do not matter, I'm only one person Destroy me completely then throw me away

If my life were important I would ask will I live or die But I know the answers lie far from this world Close every door to me, keep those I love from me Children of Israel are never alone For we know we shall find our own peace of mind For we have been promised a land of our own

Go Go Go Joseph

NARRATOR:

Joseph's luck was really out, his spirits and his fortune low Alone he sat, alone he thought of happy times he used to know Hey dreamer! Don't be so upset Hey Joseph! You're not beaten yet

Go Go Go Joseph you know what they say Hang on now Joseph you'll make it one day Don't give up Joseph fight till you drop We've read the book and you come out on top

Now into Joseph's prison cell were flung two very frightened men

BAKER & BUTLER:

We don't think that we will ever see the light of day again Hey Joseph! Help us if you can We've had dreams that we don't understand

NARRATOR:

Both men were servants of Pharaoh the king Both in the doghouse for doing their thing One was a baker, a cook in his prime One was a butler, the Jeeves of his time

JOSEPH:

Tell me of your dreams my friends, and I will tell you what they show Though I cannot guarantee to get it right, I'll have a go

NARRATOR:

First the butler, trembling, took the floor Nervously he spoke of what he saw

BUTLER:

There I was standing in front of a vine I picked some grapes and I crushed them for wine I gave it to Pharaoh who drank from my cup I tried to interpret but I had to give up

JOSEPH:

You will soon be free, my friend, so do not worry any more The king will let you out of here, you'll buttle as you did before

NARRATOR:

Next the baker rose to tell his dream Hoping it would have a similar theme

BAKER:

There I was standing with baskets of bread High in the sky I saw birds overhead Who flew to the baskets and ate every slice Give me the message -- like his would be nice

JOSEPH:

Sad to say your dream is not the kind of dream I'd like to get Pharaoh has it in for you, your execution date is set Don't rely on all I say I saw It's just that I have not been wrong before

NARRATOR:

Go Go Go Joseph you know what they say Hang on now Joseph you'll make it one day Go Go Go Joseph you're doing fine You and your dreamcoat -- ahead of your time

Pharaoh Story

NARRATOR:

Pharaoh, he was a powerful man With the ancient world in the palm of his hand To all intents and purposes he Was Egypt with a capital E Whatever he did he was showered with praise If he cracked a joke then you chortled for days No-one had rights or a vote but the king In fact you might say he was fairly right-wing When Pharaoh's around, then you get down on the ground If you ever find yourself near Rameses -- get down on your knees

HANDMAIDENS:

A Pharaoh story, a Pharaoh story

NARRATOR:

Down at the other end of the scale Joseph is still doing time in jail For even though he is in with the guards A lifetime in prison seems quite on the cards But if my analysis of the position is right At the end of the tunnel there's a glimmer of light For all of a sudden indescribable things Have shattered the sleep of both peasants and kings Strange as it seems, there's been a run of crazy dreams And a man who can interpret could go far -- could become a star

HANDMAIDENS:

Could be famous, could be a big success

NARRATOR:

Could be a star!

Poor Poor Pharaoh

NARRATOR:

Guess what? In his bed Pharaoh had an uneasy night He had had a dream that pinned him to his sheets with fright No-one knew the meaning of the dream What to do? Whatever could it mean? Then his butler said

BUTLER:

I know a bloke in jail Who is hot on dreams, could explain old Pharaoh's tale

NARRATOR:

Pharaoh said fetch this Joseph man I need him to help me if he can

CHORUS:

Poor poor Pharaoh, what'cha gonna do? Dreams are haunting you, hey, what'cha gonna do?

NARRATOR:

Chained and bound, afraid, alone Joseph stood before the throne

JOSEPH:

My service to Pharaoh has begun Tell me your problems, mighty one

Song of the King

PHARAOH:

Well I was wandering along by the banks of the river when seven fat cows came out of the Nile And right behind them fine healthy animals came seven other cows, skinny and vile Well the thin cows ate the fat cows which I thought would do them good But it didn't make them fatter like I thought a monster supper should Because the thin ones were as thin as they had ever ever been This dream has got me baffled, hey Joseph, tell me what it means

C'mon you know that kings ain't stupid But I don't have a clue So don't be cruel Joseph You gotta help me now I beg of you

I was standing doing nothing in a field out of town -- I saw seven beautiful ears of corn They were ripe they were golden but you guessed it right behind them were seven other ears -- tattered and torn Then the bad corn ate the good corn man they came up right behind yes they did And Joseph here's the punchline it's really gonna blow your mind -- flip your lid Because the bad corn was as bad as it had ever ever been This dream has got me all shook up, treat me nice and tell me what it means Hey hey Joseph won't you tell me what this crazy dream really means

Pharaoh's Dream Explained

JOSEPH:

Seven years of bumper crops are on their way Years of plenty, endless wheat and tons of hay Your farms will boom, there won't be room To store the surplus food you grow After that, the future doesn't look so bright Egypt's luck will change completely overnight And famine's hand will stalk the land With food an all-time low Noble king, there is no doubt What your dream is all about All these things you saw in your pajamas Are a long-range forecast for your farmers And I'm sure it's crossed your mind What it is you have to find Find a man to lead you through the famine With a flair for economic planning But who this man would be I just don't know

Stone the Crows

NARRATOR:

Pharaoh said --

PHARAOH:

Well stone the crows, this Joseph is a clever kid Who'd have thought that fourteen cows could mean the things he said they did? Joseph, you must help me further; I have found a job for you You shall lead us through this crisis -- you shall be my number two

NARRATOR:

Pharaoh told his guards to fetch a chisel from the local store Whereupon he ordered them to cut the chains that Joseph wore Joseph got a royal pardon and a host of splendid things A chariot of gold, a cloak, a medal and some signet rings Joseph -- Pharaoh's number two Joseph -- Egypt looks to you Seven summers on the trot were perfect just as Joseph said Joseph saw that food was gathered ready for the years ahead Seven years of famine followed. Egypt did not mind a bit The first recorded rationing in history was a hit

ADORING GIRLS:

Joseph how can we ever say All that we want to about you? We're so glad that you came our way We would have perished without you

PHARAOH:

Joseph we are the perfect team Old buddies you and me I was wise to have chosen you You'll be wise to agree We were in a jam Would have baffled Abraham But now we're a partnership it's just a piece of cake

ADORING GIRLS:

Greatest man since Noah Only goes to shoah

JOSEPH:

Anyone from anywhere can make it if he gets a lucky break!

NARRATOR:

This could be the happy ending, perfect place to stop the show Joseph after all has got about as far as he can go But I'm sure that Jacob and his other sons have crossed your mind How had famine hit the family Joseph left behind?

Those Canaan Days

BROTHERS (Reuben sings lead):

Do you remember the good years in Canaan? The summers were endlessly gold The fields were a patchwork of clover The winters were never too cold We'd stroll down the boulevard together No hint of this tragic decline Now the fields are dead and bare No joie de vivre anywhere Et maintenant we drink a bitter wine

Those Canaan days we used to know Where have they gone? Where did they go? Eh bien, raise your berets To those Canaan days

Do you remember those wonderful parties? The splendour of Canaan's cuisine Those extravagant, elegant soirees The gayest the Bible has seen It's funny but since we lost Joseph We've gone to the other extreme No-one comes to dinner now We'd only eat them anyhow I even find I'm missing Joseph's dreams

Those Canaan days we used to know Where have they gone? Where did they go? Eh bien, raise your berets To those Canaan days

It's funny, but since we lost Joseph We've gone to the other extreme Perhaps we all misjudged the lad Perhaps he wasn't quite that bad And how we miss his entertaining dreams

Those Canaan days we used to know Where have they gone? Where did they go? Eh bien, raise your berets To those Canaan days

The Brothers Come to Egypt

NARRATOR:

So back in Canaan the future looked rough Joseph's family were finding it tough

BROTHERS:

For the famine has caught us unprepared We are thin, we are ill, we are getting scared It's enough to make anyone weep We are down to our very last sheep We will starve if we hang around here And in Egypt there's food going spare They've got corn, they've got meat, they've got food and drinks And if we have the time we could see the Sphinx

NARRATOR:

So they finally decided to go Off to Egypt to see brother Jo So they all lay before Joseph's feet

BROTHERS:

Mighty prince, give us something to eat!

NARRATOR:

Joseph found it a strain not to laugh because Not a brother among them knew who he ws

Joseph:

I shall now take them all for a ride After all they have tried fratricide

Grovel Grovel

JOSEPH:

I dreamed that in the fields one day, the corn gave me a sign Your eleven sheaves of corn all turned and bowed to mine I dreamed I saw eleven stars, the sun and moon and sky Bowing down before my star -- and now I realize why

How do I know where you come from? You could be spies Telling me that you are hungry -- that could be lies How do I know who you are? Why do you think I should help you? Would you help me? Why on earth should I believe you? I've no guarantee

BROTHERS:

Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl

We are just eleven brothers, good men and true Though we know we count for nothing when up next to you Honesty's our middle name Life is slowly ebbing from us, hope's almost gone It's getting very hard to see us from sideways on

Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl

JOSEPH:

I rather like the way you're talking, astute and sincere Suddenly your tragic story gets me right here

BROTHERS:

This is what we hoped you'd say

JOSEPH:

All this tugging at my heartstrings seems quite justified I shall give you what you came for and lots more beside

BROTHERS:

Thank you, thank you, cringe, bow, stoop, fall Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl

NARRATOR:

Joseph handed them sackloads of food And they grovelled with base gratitude Then, unseen, Joseph nipped out around the back And planted a cup in young Benjamin's sack When the brothers were ready to go Joseph turned to them all with a terrible stare and said No! No! No! No! No!

Who's the Thief?

JOSEPH:

Stop! You robbers -- your little number's up! One of you has stolen my precious golden cup!

NARRATOR:

Joseph started searching through his brothers' sacks Everyone was nervous, no-one could relax Who's the thief? Who's the thief? Is it Reuben? No! Is it Simeon? No! Is it Napthali? No! Is it Dan? No! Is it Asher? No! Is it Isaachar? No! Is it Levi? No! Who's the man? Is it Zebulun? No! Is it Gad? No! Is it Judah? No! Is it him? Could it be, could it be, could it possibly be -- Benjamin? Yes! Yes! Yes!

JOSEPH:

Benjamin, you nasty youth, your crime has shocked me to the core Never in my whole career have I encountered this before Guards, seize him! Lock him in a cell! Throw the key into the Nile as well!

HANDMAIDENS:

Each of the brothers fell to his knees

BROTHERS:

Show him some mercy oh mighty one please He would not do this, he must have been framed Jail us and beat us, we should be blamed

Benjamin Calypso

BROTHERS (Napthali sings lead):

Oh no -- not he How you can accuse him is a mystery Save him -- take me Benjamin is straighter dan de tall palm tree

I hear de steel drums sing dere song Dey singing man you know you got it wrong I hear de voice of de yellow bird Singing in de tree dis is quite absurd

Oh yes -- it's true Benjamin is straighter dan de big bamboo No ifs, no buts Benjamin is honest as coconuts

Sure as de tide wash de golden sand Benjamin is an innocent man Sure as bananas need de sun We are de criminal guilty ones

Oh no -- not he How you can accuse him is a mystery Save him -- take me Benjamin is straighter dan de tall palm tree

Joseph All the Time

NARRATOR:

And Joseph knew by this his brothers now were honest men The time had come at last to reunite them all again

JOSEPH:

Can't you recognize my face? Is it hard to see? That Joseph, who you thought was dead, your brother, is me?

BROTHERS:

Joseph! Joseph! Is it really true? Joseph! Joseph! Is it really you? Joseph! Joseph!

Jacob in Egypt

NARRATOR:

So Jacob came to Egypt, no longer feeling old And Joseph went to meet him in his chariot of gold

Any Dream Will Do

JOSEPH:

I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain To see for certain what I thought I knew Far far away, someone was weeping But the world was sleeping Any dream will do

I wore my coat with golden lining Bright colors shining, wonderful and new And in the east, the dawn was breaking And the world was waking Any dream will do

A crash of drums, a flash of light My golden coat flew out of sight The colors faded into darkness I was left alone

May I return to the beginning The light is dimming, and the dream is too The world and I, we are still waiting Still hesitating Any dream will do

Give me my colored coat, my amazing colored coat! Give me my colored coat, my amazing colored coat!

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Helen Rose <hrose-web@ckdhr.com>
Last modified: Sat Feb 3 00:08:24 1996