Star Trek: The Old Generation/The Next Generation

Teetotaller's Drinking Game


Rules
- -----

Have one sip of an alcoholic beverage every time one of the following 
conditions is met, otherwise continue drinking your tea.

Conditions
- ----------

Wesley gets laid.

Dr. Who appears on the main bridge.

Data, while entering co-ordinates, makes a typo and accidentally sends them
into the middle of a star, and the Enterprise explodes in an orgy of high-tech
special effects.

The entire crew simultaneously crepitates.

The entire show turns out to be one long commercial; Pepsi, the choice
of The Next Generation.

Worf decides that he likes to dress in feminine apparel, and it suits him.

The new season's uniforms look sillier than last year's (will probably have 
to drink for this one).

The Federation invents a new weapon; the enemy is tricked into thinking their
mommies are calling them.

Picard spanks Data.

One of the male characters appears in a uniform that reveals cleavage.

The producers of ST:TNG get together with the producers of Gone With
The Wind and combine the two shows in a new three-hourly series.

Data spanks the main computer when it doesn't work properly. Deanna later
confides to Picard that in reality it was working properly, and Data was
expressing long-hidden emotions.

Data gets frustrated with the main computer and takes an axe to it.

A red shirt goes down to a new planet and isn't killed (this one is 
obligatory).

Captain Picard sells the rights to his personal log and makes a mint for the
sections that don't appear on the show.

A new weapon is invented for the ship that doesn't have an accompanying 
dazzling special effect.

The entire series, old and new, turns out to be the prelude to a 
Monty Python skit.

A big black hole swallows the entire universe. Everyone disappears. Star
Trek is replaced by reruns of Gilligan's Island.

A rumour appears in the National Enquirer that the only purpose of ST is to
make money, not to keep thousands of ST fanatics happy.

The entire crew breaks into an orgy of spanking. Everyone gets spanked. 
Picard and Riker get into a big argument on who gets "first dibs" on 
spanking Deanna.

In an important episode, all ships run out of fuel because an alternative
to gasoline hasn't been invented yet. The new solar-powered ships premier,
but they can't attain even warp one. The pace of the show slows down.

They finally explore the entire universe, so they all get bored and go home.


[this is original, written by gaea and myself, inspired by many
other ST paraphenalia]

- --
Selected by Brad Templeton.  MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.

Remember: Only ONE joke per submission.  Extra jokes may be rejected.
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