to make room for the cupcake!

"GIR, the telescope is broken, and you had nothing to do with it?!"
@i("I know, I'm scared too.")

There was an old woman with notions quite new
She never told children the things they should do.
She hoisted the covers up over her head
When people explained where her theories lead.

Russell and Whitehead and Hegel and Kant! Maybe I shall and maybe I shan't.
Maybe I shan't and maybe I shall. Kant Russel Whitehead, Hegel et al.

"Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how are your hydroponics?
"I've dixie bells and chanterelles, all singing in supersonics."

Three jolly sailors from blandon-on-tyne
Went to sea in a bottle by klein.
Since the sea was entirely inside the hull,
The scenery seen was exceedingly dull.

What goes ", this is my blood, , this is my blood"?

...my passion's unending and I'll love you til Tuesday...

sell me a goat with buttons of silver

voulez vous coucher avec moi

And that's the news from Arkham country, where all the men are eldritch,
all the women are uncanny, and all the children are creatures from beyond
the planes that we know.

"I would like to add that [Sondheim] is the greatest lyricist that the
English language has ever produced. That is a fact, not an opinion." --Tom Lehrer

"No, I have never married. I've simply skipped a few divorces.
Unfortunately, Alma was taken and taken and taken and taken by the
time I got there." --Tom Lehrer

"I never got a PhD. I wanted to be a graduate student all my life and
they wanted me to be a PhD. These two goals were incompatable." --Tom Lehrer

"I have never used an illegal drug in my life.
Also, I have never told a lie." --Tom Lehrer

"Everything about me is superb. I can't help it. On my passport, under
occupation, they put "Living Legend"." --Tom Lehrer

"If someone gives good quid, I try to give good quo." --Tom Lehrer

Question: Which politician do you admire most?
Tom Lehrer: Which disease would you most like to die of?

"No one is more dangerous than someone who thinks he has The Truth. To
be an atheist is almost as arrogant as to be a fundamentalist. But
then again, I can get pretty arrogant." --Tom Lehrer

"I find enough mystery in mathematics to satisfy my spiritual needs. I
think, for example, that pi is mysterious enough without having to worry
about God." --Tom Lehrer

Eating an orange
While making love
Makes for bizarre enj-
Oyment thereof.

creamed porn in a can?

full frontal nerdity

you are the cat's paw
among the silence of midnight goldfish

you are the waves
which cover my feet like cold eiderdowns

you are the teddybear (as good as new)
found beside a road accident

you are the green
whose depths i cannot fathom

you are the clean sword
that slaughtered the first innocent

you are the drop of dew on a petal
before the clouds weep blood

you are the ivy
which muffles my walls

you are the stillness of Van Gogh
before he painted the yellow vortex of his last sun

you are the distance
between Hiroshima and Calvary
measured in mother's kisses

you are the distance
between the accident and the telephone box
measured in heartbeats

you are the distance
between advertising and neuroses
measured in phallic symbols

you are the distance
between you and me
measured in tears

you are the moment
before the warbooks in the public library
turned into frogs and croaked khaki obscenities

you are the moment
before the buildings turned into flesh
and windows closed their eyes

you are the moment
before the flowers turned into plastic and melted
in the heat of the burning cities

you are the moment
before the subconscious begged to be left in peace

you are the moment
before the world was made flesh

you are the moment
before the clouds became locamotives
and hurtled headlong into the sun

you are the moment
before the clocks had nervous breakdowns
and refused to keep pace with men's madness

you are the moment
before God forgot His lines

she dreams in digital
because it's better than nothing

i remember i used to compose your dreams
control your dreams

your pixel army can't save you now
my finger's on the killswitch

A lovely nose ring --
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.

Lacking fins or tail
the gefilte fish swims with
great difficulty.

thank you for breaking my heart...
thank you for tearing me apart.

MacArthur Park: Bigger, Longer, Incomprehensible
Oh My God! They left a cake out in the rain! You bastards!

Green, multicontextual, with more hair than body. And a violin.

the even more invisible girl

Quoth the server, "404."

contextual cleavage

"I repartitioned my sex drive and installed Linux."

if lust and hate is the candy,
if blood and love taste so sweet...

"Please be advised that human remains may not be transported through the mail."

"Would you like bras with that?"

"Psssssst! Someone told me you know something about... @i(Wiccan)?"

deep dark black ray of sunshine

I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated...

taqmistress of the desert!

Without hyperbole, would there be elbows?

touch my tears with your lips,
touch my world with your fingertips

a shooting star right through my heart

I'm knitting with only one needle.

I'm going slightly mad...

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is
always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it.
And chipped a tooth.

"One will never come to again. One will never return. We shall join
the dead, one at a time, and our souls shall burn."
@i("Did you get a premonition?") "No, goth fortune cookie."

"Spare change of evil!"
@i("Searching under the cushions of the sofa of wickedness, weren't you...")

psychedelic celtic folk punk

Lab rules: 1) Fire Bad 2) Don't Eat the Cyanide
3) If You Can Smell the Hydrazine, It's Too Late
4) Radiation Badges are Your Friend

Top-Selling S/F: "War God of Israel"/"The Thing With Three Souls".

We seem to have a problem communicating via english.
As a workaround, I'm going to restate my position
in braille, on your forehead, with this mallet.

You will expand your consciousness to encompass the Music Of The Spheres,
only to realize it consists entirely of circus marches.

Total exclipse of the spleen...

Sexual intercourse vests no property rights.

She speaks with audible semicolons.
She's that kind of smart.

Will your monkeybagels wash a dog? We need fresh-scrubbed
puppies for underwater welding!

The pickles are key.

It looks like blind screaming hedonism won out.

I've lost my clitorous! I shouldn't have worn it swimming!

Radiophonic Oddity

"She tackles everyday life with a perverted innocence that just make s
you want to give her a big hug, and then stand back very quickly while
checking to see if everything is still attached."

One can't have it both ways.
And both ways is the only way I want it.

"...a cross between Cookie Monster
and a dill pickle. A smoking dill pickle."

"Well, you two @i(are) my pet goths..."
@i("Does this make you our Fairy Goth-mother?")

"Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little
familiarity it's impossible to breed anything. -- Noel Coward

"'Kiss and tell'? Hell, no: 'Fuck and post'!"

"Starships... with engines the size of walnuts.
Walnuts... with engines the size of starships!"

Star Wars Episode II: In Which Piglet Meets a Heffalump

A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps,
snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana
bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a
jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal -- Panama!

she totally confused all the passing piranhas

totally emotionless except for her heart

slipped on a kiss and tumbled into love

"What did you do to your hair?"
@i("Well, I cut it all off and stuck it back on with superglue.")

sir, if I may take command, retreat now while the path is open.
sir you do not understand, the land we fought for died this morning.

locked up grating, house of hating, men of action, tired of waiting,
passion cries for vindication -- revolution's revelation.

fire in the open wall, the dust that chokes, their eyes are bleeding,
christ decends amid napalm, man is proven, cold and needing.

sir, my duty now is clear, their lives have passed and time is dear now,
i can't count their sillouettes, our enemy is growing near now.

komm zu mir

we went beyond all frontiers
when we met it felt like an explosion
and I swear I can still feel its vibrations

I know you're running and yet
you won't be close and really here
until you're right here in my arms

i will fall to the ground if you don't fly with me

i keep repeating
i don't need you more than you need me

love is just the only thing
that makes me live through all my pain

I wish I was a stranger who wanders down the sky,
I wish I was a starship in silence flying by.

I wish I was writer who sees what's yet unseen,
I wish I was a prayer expressing what I mean.

I wish I was a forest of trees that do not hide,
I wish I was a clearing, no secrets left inside.

I wish I was a person with unlimited breath,
I wish I was a heartbeat that never comes to rest.

"This isn't a love poem. Love poems aren't supposed to
have nekkid radioative zombie girls."

What Would Astarte Do? @i(Make love AND war.)

What Would Kali Do? @i(Tear out their beating heart, drink their
blood and dance on their trembling corpse. Then wear parts as jewelry.)

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees
and then name streets after them.

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

warm bed, cute person.
alarm rings. it's cold outside.
sometimes i hate work.

"Don't think of it as losing the tart...
think of it as gaining the beef."

Here I am in this world of ours, tring to figure out
where I fit in, with these stars inside my head...

i'm so afraid that you'll fall in love with me,
'cuz i'm so afraid that i'll fall in love with you.

She comes straight from the sun, eyes that glare like a solar flare
He's born out of the moon, luminous shadows in his dunes.

laughing as i go insane

i thank her for the pain in her honesty

With our rifles and grenades and some help from God.

Justice is cruel, and cruler yet, necessity,
but tender mercy is the cruelest of all.

ceci ce n'est pas une zephyr

And the Jedi I admired the most,
Met up with Darth Maul, and now he's toast.

Vicky had this special way of turning sex into a song.
Camella couldn't sing, kept the beat and kept it strong.

Xylla was an archetype, the voodoo queen, the queen of rap.
Joan thought men were second best to masturbating in the bath.

Gloria, the last taboo was shattered by her tongue one night.
Mimi brought the taboo back and held it up before the light.

Marilyn, who knew no shame, was never, ever satisfied.
Julie came and went so fast, she didn't even say good-bye.

Pauline thought that love was simple, turn it on and turn it off.
Kit-Marie was complicated, like some French film-maker's plot.

Gina was the perfect lady, always kept her stockings straight.
Jackie was a rich punk-rocker, silver spoon and a paper plate.

Sarah was a modern dancer, a lean pristine transparency.
Janet wrote bad poetry in a crazy kind of urgency.

Tanya Turkish liked to fuck while wearing leather biker boots.
Brenda's strange obsession was for certain vegetables and fruits.

Bobbie joined a new-wave band, and changed her name to Bobbie-sox.
Eloise, who played guitar, sang songs about whales and cocks.

Terri didn't give a shit, just a nihilist.
Ronnie was much more my style, she wrote songs just like this.

Jezebel went forty days drinking nothing but Perrier.
Dinah drove her Chevrolet into the San Francisco bay.

Kisses are better than turtles.
Except when they're chocolate.

love is a dangerous angel

"And the best part is, in my spare time,
I can go on being a teapot."

A security chief's worst nightmare, available next month
from the gentle lunatics in Research and Development.

RCN: The Tripwire of Communications!

"Apparently, the Wiccan Creed is evil because it runs counter
to mainstream Judeo-Christian military beliefs of truly loving your
fellow man by training to drop napalm on him."

"Do you expect me to conform to traditional polyphonic
harmonies, Stravinski?!" @i("No, Mr. Cage, I expect you to die!")

_Fahrenheit 451 of the Vanities_ -- An '80s yuppie is denied books.
He does not object, or even notice.

May I be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the
bodies of people I had to kill because they pissed me off.

"When the only tool you've got is a knife,
everything begins to look like a throat."

Writing, for me, is an erotic activity in much the same
way that being hit by a truck is. --talkivin

This show also "proved" that single-celled organisms have emotions such as
love, hate, and hunger, by hooking EEG equipment up to yogurt.

"And what are they teaching you math majors down there at MIT this
summer? How to be noble, sacred sexpots?"

"Don't worry, Pitr. It's only the difference
between a port and a dongle."

"I don't believe anyone has ever called my underwear
'vehicular' before."

"When you asked me to live with you in sin,
I didn't realize you meant sloth."

She's not a space cadet -- she's a fully commissioned officer.

"It's hard to say 'Oh baby' when your mouth is full."

"But if I put on my clothing, I'll lose my superpowers!"
@i("I've got to remember that line...")

"Well, I'm frustrated, and my elbows are toast..."

"If possible, remove victim to fresh air and administer hydrogen
cyanide until the victim either dies or signs a legal waiver freeing
you from liability."

"And if you think that just because you can do that to me means you
can give me shit about it... well, that's where you're right."

The plural of anecdote is not data.

"Spooned! We only spooned! We didn't fork!"

(to the tune of "Row, row, row your boat")
Oh, oh, oh my God
Where'd I put my brain?

"Buttons! I'm happiest when I'm entirely surrounded by buttons!"

I think we need to demagnetize our noses.

"Ok, I'll delete the waypoint for the Whore of Babylon..."

The thing that would really annoy me about that arrangement is
the giraffe would slide all over the violin.

The other white meat.

"Your leash has an acl?"


Why do I keep pressing that button?

We're all dyslexics on this sub.

It's not premarital sex unless you're
planning on getting married.

"'Kiss me where it smells,' she said.
So I took her to Allston."

"You look like a cross between Annie Hall and
the Mad Hatter." --Rob of ELH

Falling in love has been greatly overrated.

Falling in love is a form of madness. Closely related to
hatred, coldness, resentment, intoxication and suicide.

"You could have just finished chewing
instead of zephyring me..."

Biologists have multiple organisms.

"a 5Wer and a mean strap-on could fix that
real fast, Jhawk." --gamache

"...and then Jim flames Jhawk for being Jhawk, and their respective
flaming daemons are stuck in a deadly embrace." --gamache

"Just think of me as an invisible bat." --Kemp

"If you choose to inhale this compound (and I don't
recommend that you do) it will proceed to do an acyl
transfer reaction in your nose." --Kemp

"Given that all men are, when you think about it,
useless parasites." --Pinker

"I had what is technically called in neuroscience
'an attack of the stupids.'" --Pinker

"The left hemisphere of your brain is the bullshit
generator." --Pinker

9.00: Introduction to Psychology, or "Pinker and the Brain"

"I lived at Senior Haus as an undergrad here,
but I didn't inhale." --G. Pratt

@i("Western) tuning, please." --Cutter

"Real miracles deserve @i(green) chalk!"

"It is morally incorrect to drown babies for fun in Coca-Cola."

That's not psychotic rage. That's psychotic playfulness.

building 68
klaxons wail; men, women flee
something green wants OUT!

people leap on chairs
screaming, pointing! a mouse flees
mice shouldn't glow green

"my life is Angst and No One can Understand me...
i shall sit here in the Dark and write bad Poetry --
that doesn't rhyme." --GothChyck

MIT: For that hard-to-acheive half-dead pale and pasty
look you've always wanted. Only $25000!

(mit-goth. we're not goths, we're just
"with goths". it's german.)

"Yes, Pinky, Canada is 6 feet long, 2 inches wide, and covered
in a delicate sprinkling of chalk." @i("Really?")

"Yes, Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything
is still Zero Mostel!"

"sex is not the same as C structure syntax. it's just similar." --clyde

"damn, my chainsaw is clogged with 1's and 0's again." --clyde

"johanna is defined as the average
number of declarations of war." --clyde

"johanna is better/has more options.
yeah, something like that." --clyde

"Mammals are not cleavage." --clyde

"Go And copulate with yon purple lizard." --clyde

"mycroft is not the capital of mass ave" --clyde

"nocturne is opening nominations for antichrist." --clyde

"eric is not bug-by-bug compatible." --clyde

"johanna is rather disturbing" --clyde

"robin is the Bishop of Rome and parties on 5E" --clyde

"natasha is a shooting pain just above the head." --clyde

"johanna is rather dark, so it sounds more altruistic!" --clyde

"zeno is virtually never statically linked." --clyde

"you're causing goosebumps from 2700 miles away. Stop existing
entirely, or did people say you're still wearing those horns?" --clyde

"warlord is internally compressed." --clyde

"xta is an abomination. A single-processor machine." --clyde

Surgeon General's Warning: staring at Johanna's
legs could lead to visual confusion.

Killing spree in Aisle 7!

everyone's a novelist and everyone can sing...

Chocolate Marshmallow Bunnies of Doom!

Do not place golden baby in cake.

Get your sheep together and get the flock out of here.

"Nine inch will please a lady..." -- Robert Burns

Cannibal Women from the Avacado Jungle of Death!

"...and here you will see Lady Liberty munching on a giant croissant..."


i was not myself last night, couldn't set things right
with apologies or flowers

swore i'd sell my soul for one love
who would give me back the gift of laughter

dream each other's smiles
dream it never ends

all my dreams are lost and i can't sleep

all my dreams are lost and i can't sleep
and sleep alone could ease my mind

you've got no time left for simple feeling

i thought i knew you, but i don't know you at all

trapped inside your world of worry
you miss so much when you always hurry

you're working so hard that
you don't even know you're alive...

damn all evil that takes possession
until your pipedreams become obsessions

all the devils that disturbed me
and the angels that defeated them somehow

we pledge allegence to his gracefulness and charming manners

life at last
salutations from the other side

our love is an old love
it's older than all our years

i see in strange young eyes
familiar tears

all souls last forever
so we need never fear goodbye

roll on, thunder -- shine on, lightning
days are long and the nights are frightening

winter comes and winds blow colder
some grew wiser, you just grew older

born defeated, died in vain
super destructive, you were hooked on pain

though your music lingers on
all of us are glad you're gone

"I like chemistry. It's a lot like witchcraft...
only less naked." --Willow

"Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you
looking at my breasts." @i("Nothing personal, but when a
guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.")

"Whatcha doing, love?" @i("I'm naming the stars.") "You can't see
the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also it's day." @i("No, I can see them.
But I've named them all the same name, and there's terrible confusion.")

"So does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?"
@i("I'm 17. Looking at *linoleum* makes me wanna have sex.")

"I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away."

"I think I speak for everyone here when I say, huh?"

"Looks dead, smells dead, yet it's moving around.
That's interesting."

"There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after
school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking."

"I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple,
direct, stake through the heart, no muss, no fuss."

"You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone."

bored now....

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Tired: serial killers
Wired: massively parallel killers

Rif? Oh Riffy... It's your darling Gwynn!
Show yourself so I can masticate your heart and devour your soul!

"Eat garnish, pot-stickers of evil!"

So the prince kissed sleeping beauty, and she opened her eyes
and said, "If you were a real prince you'd put on the coffee
and give me ten more minutes."

Hair is a part of you. It is not part of me, because I am a frog. -- Kermit

Anywhere i am is @i(here). Anywhere I am not is @i(there). -- Grover

If you don't want to get cookie crumbs in your bed,
eat the cookies in your best friend's bed.

Smarter than a speeding bullet! Furrier than a powerful locamotive!
Able to leap tall sandwhiches in a single bound!

Up in the sky! It's an eggplant! It's a meatball!
It's... SuperGrover!

If you cannot fly away, look down. You may be standing on your cape.
If that does not work, try yelling "wubba wubba wubba!" -- SuperGrover

Always remember to open the door before you fly away. -- SuperGrover

Sometimes, you have to put down the duckie.

Don't worry, be happy. Or worry, and then be happy. -- Telly Monster

Too much of a good thing... can be a better thing! -- Cookie Monster

If you don't have anything nice to say,
by all means, say it! -- Oscar the Grouch

A la peanut-butter-sandwiches!

Polyamory on Sesame St. -- "I have two vonderful girlfriends, ah ha ha ha!
Countess von Backwards, and Countess Dahling von Dahling."

Count von Count is written to represent a muppet with the psychological
age of someone who is 1,832,652 years old.

"Use your charm and romantic mystique to win her over.
Employ a vast array of pet names like
'My little wombat,' 'My little armadillo,' 'My little wood pigeon.'

"Cookies: Where they come from? ... Whoooooo cares?
Come to papa!" -- Cookie Monster

"I environmentally aware. When I done with cookies...
Eat plate!" -- Cookie Monster

"Wait, if me hungry and there are no more cookies, only one thing
left to do. Eat truck!" -- Cookie Monster

"Me love to look out window at night. See all the pretty stars,
twinkle twinkle. You know what moon remind me of? It remind me
of great big delicious cookie!" -- Cookie Monster

"Today, me incredibly proud to present one of best-loved classics in
whole world. A play that explores feelings that bubble deep inside
all of us. Yes, me proud to present @i(Hamlet, Prince of Denmark).
It not get classier than this." -- Alastair Cookie

"Tonight, me present good old-fashioned musical @i(Guys and Dolls.)
It all about guys and their dolls." -- Alastair Cookie

"Tonight, me bring you classic musical @i(The King and I).
It about a king and the letter I -- that where they get the
title from. Very good title." -- Alastair Cookie

"Tonight, Monsterpiece Theatre proud to present classic play,
@i(The Taming of the Shoe,) by William Shakespeare, famous podiatrist.
Trust me." -- Alastair Cookie

"Me no think you understand proper cookie-eating
procedure!" -- Cookie Monster

"Mmmm, ukulele. Plays nice. Tastes nice too!" -- Cookie Monster

"There you have it, folks. The horse just ran up -- uh, make that
@i(through) -- the clock, the clock has just struck seventeen, and
what will happen next is... I'm getting outta here!" -- Kermit

"Now, what starts with the letter C? Cookie start with C! Let's think
of other things that start with C... Ahhh, who cares about other
things?" -- Cookie Monster

"It's the same actor playing Big Bird and Oscar, which I am sure
has saved him thousands of dollars in therapy."

Pound for pound, plutonium is about as toxic as caffeine when eaten.

"I hear the Mets dump core under Linux...."

"I'm dating your imaginary friend? You know, that explains a lot..."

"You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?"
@i("I didn't know there were any witnesses.
Now I'll have to kill you too.")

My other car is a cdr.

"The only intuitive interface is the nipple.
After that, it's all learned." -- Bruce Ediger

"I do envy you." @i("Then I'm afraid the fever has reached your
brain, and you'll have to be destroyed.") -- Daria

"Yah! I'd love to have hair like that woman who was molested
by the kangaroo." @i("Really? She looked so... everyday.")
"I mean, after she was molested."

"Right here and now, let's pledge to make Daria's dream a reality."
@i("You mean the one where people walking down the street burst into flames?")

"Yeah, well, I don't like it when I say people should die and then
they do. I don't want that kind of responsibility. At least, not
until I have a job in middle management." -- Jane

"When they say 'You're always unhappy,' what they mean is 'You think,
Daria, I can tell because you don't smile. Now this guy died, and
it's making me think, and that hurts my little head and makes me stop
smiling. So, tell me how you cope with thinking all the time, Daria,
until I can get back to my normal vegetative state'." -- Jane

"And the dish ran away with the spoon. But Hawaii was the only state
that would recognize the marriage as legal." -- Jane

"I like having low self-esteem. It makes me feel special." -- Jane

"I don't like to smile unless I have a reason." -- Daria

"Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids
when I was a kid." -- Daria

diet: carnivorous & photosynthetic

come on, take another little piece of my heart

Don't wanna work! Wanna bang on keyboard!

and I don't want to say I love you all the time
when you don't need me

i am no mermaid, i am no mermaid
i am no fisherman's slave

whether you like a storm breaking, or whether you don't
there's still one thing you have to say to me
but maybe you won't

Creativity is a mysterious process involving large blocks of aged cheese, a
table fan, and a balloon filled with M&Ms. Used properly, these items,
plus a little bit of luck, can produce award-winning results.

@(@color(OliveDrab) The Snarkout Boys and the Avacado of Death)

one of those arbitrarily old people

an everchanging kiss of bodies

Why do my fingers tingle with the thought of smooth skin, and who gave
birth to this hunger I have?

Cumbersome whip or ineffective rubber ducky, it is all inefficacious.

Were you leering at the sunset once again, my dear?

Sex is a wonderous weapon. It has such succulent possibilities
wrapped in its tenuously bounded contortions.

Daffodils are sulfur trumpets, blaring my soon-forgotten trial in
graceful arcs.

Immediate thought dissipates into the diaphanous ether.

He says the swooning journey of my moods is too much.

Though I have inscripted, he has stricken, and I am gone
from the record before it is finished being written.

just when i think nothing is worth this much pain
then i think i see love in her eyes

That's how it all began, I held her hands behind her back while
We were right on the dancefloor...
And when we finished she said, "You know I kinda liked that, can we
Maybe later do that some more?"

That's how I find myself explaining to this airport cop why
these things are better than handcuffs...

I wonder if my mom believed me when I said I had those
straps on the bed for safety's sake...

"Oh, that's just a bracelet, that's for camping and... uh,
That's something I bought by mistake!"

She says we've gotta keep this from our family, they're suspicious,
And I don't want them getting wise...
"I said come Christmas they'll wonder 'cuz I never wear a suit,
And you keep getting me silk ties..."

We've got so much in common, we like books and we like ramen,
and playing soccer in the hall... Silk sheets, ostrich feathers,
Going on long walks together, that is, when we go out at all...

"Who @i(are) you?" @i("I'm the sad and lonely man
science has left you.")

i'll rip my heart out of my chest and hold it for you to inspect
and while the blood drips down my hands, we could kiss

"Your dog ate my philodendron which depressed my mother who in a stupor
voted for Marion Barry causing an upswing in crack sales that allowed
Peru to maintain an embassy and accumulate parking tickets,
encouraging me to stay a meter maid rather than become an Imagineer."

"If you made a nourishing winter soup of white beans and Terminator,
this fellow is what you would find at the bottom of the pot."

The term "human" @i(is) a perjorative.

With her head tucked underneath her arm,
She walks the bloody tower...

Do you believe in love at first sight,
or should I walk by again?

like anyone would be
i am flattered by your
fascination with me

you speak of my love
like you have experienced love like mine before

like any uncharted territory
i must seem greatly intriguing

"Ah, a story as old as time itself... Boy meets girl.
Boy gives girl computer. Girl falls in love with computer."

By comparison, oaking is like pining, only stronger, and it burns hotter,
and it's harder to split.

What am I, flypaper for freaks?

Sir! We have met the enemy and engaged them in fellatio, sir!

heterozygous for chloroplasts

"Thank goodness! I was about to commit hara-kiri with my teaspoon."

If you mean, am I serious about what I do, the answer is yes.
If you mean, am I serious about how I do it, the answer is no.

The soul that startles in eyes of blue
To watch thy wantonness weeping through
The tangled grove, the gnarled bole
Of the living tree that is spirit and soul.

Come with flute and come with pipe!
Am I not ripe?

I, who wait and writhe and wrestle
With air that hath no boughs to nestle.

Come, O come! I am numb
With the lonely lust of devildom.

Forget love. I want to fall in chocolate.

"Who is president now? Do people still go to the movies and listen to
music and fall in love? I wouldn't know, as I have had my head in a
petri dish for the last five years."

"Sometimes it seems as if homosexuality has gone from the love that dare
not speak its name to the love that talks about itself incessantly."

"I @i(refuse) to be declared the SI unit of sexiness!"


"Just because we're watching a movie and it's dark doesn't
mean you can... eeeek! Mmmmmm..."

I realize that each day is a gift. Now it's just a matter of figuring
out how to exchange around seven thousand five hundred of them.

I have spent nights with matches and knives,
Leaning over ledges, only two flights up.

Cutting my heart, burning my soul, nothing left to hold.
Nothing left but blood and fire.

You have spent nights, thinking of me, missing my arms,
But you needed to leave. Leaving the cuts, leaving my burns,
Hoping I'd learn.

You have spent nights thinking of me, missing my arms,
But you needed to leave.

Blood and fire are too much for these restless arms to hold.

I am looking for someone who can take as much as I give,
And give back as much as I need, and still have the will to live.

I am intense, I am in need, I am in pain,
I am in love.
And I feel forsaken.

The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously.
It's only life, after all.

I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind,
got my paper and I was free.

If, just for tonight, I could not be my own life's problem...

"The t is silent, as in Harlow."
(Margot Asquith to Jean Harlow)

"Fine, I'll do a diagnostic, so maybe Level 42 doesn't get its quota of
oxygen for today because I'm distracted but if it makes you happy..."

How long ago did good sense desert me?

How long ago did good sense desert me?
I don't know why I still yearn for you.

You think what I don't know will not hurt me,
But you don't know how often you do.

What you don't know about women's only a drop in the ocean,
Next to what you don't know about me.

You're in need of a little enlightening on ladies and love,
But you can't see -- What you don't know about women is frightening,
And you don't know nothing about me.

though I've made a pact to carry out research before I care,
men don't give a warrantee

"When was the last time you @i(didn't) get your way?"
@i("You'll be the first to know.")

Life double-crosses with style -- forcing you into a smile,
So it can kick you in the teeth.

"In some ways we know more about what happened in the universe's first
tenth of a second than we do about what goes on between 'Your place or
mine?' and deciding who sleeps in the wet spot."

I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

the hoseage daemon is confused

In Hade Terrabillis Ferrimus Puniae

She was a tiny, delicate girl. Tiny. Delicate.
Like a cell of botulism.

That's what a mage would be in an elven community. A pointy-eared
techie with flowers in his hair and a penchant for green hosiery.

"Your love may be too beautiful for words,
but not for arguments." --fortune cookie

"Skimpy outfits and the undead. What else can't most adolescent boys
get enough of?" --buffy the vampire slayer ad for milk

And on the third hand (these mental states sprout additional forelimbs
all the time)...

"Those gentle voices I hear, explain it all with an evil laugh and then
they come and possess your soul and make you eat brie cheese and say evil
things about your first grade teachers and the men in white coats come and
give you a pat on the back and... I guess that's too long." --ghudson

Johanna, your hair is longer than some major highways. --ghudson

My evil overlord campaign platform definitely calls for 72
and sunny, all the time. (Maybe not sunny at night; we'll
see how that issue comes out in Evil Congress.) --ghudson

"The swift sword of death sounds good to start with, but by the time it
gets through Congress, what you have is a mild papercut, three national
holidays for obscure breeds of small dogs, and a few hundred million dollars
in subsidies for a glue factory in western Montana." --ghudson

perl: checksummed line-noise with a mission in life

Plays well with others who run with scissors.

"Apt to remove clothes and fondle
the shrubbery at a moment's notice."

raised by humans

nobody knows the trouble i've been...

fast lane addict

Year after year, it's the same routine,
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams...

And since I am dead, I can take off my head,
To recite Shakespearean quotations...

There are children throwing snowballs here instead of throwing heads,
They're busy building toys and absolutely no one's dead!


violet velvet dresses laced in acrimonious silence

Rediscovering musical roots is great. Serving them on a platter liberally
garnished with naked women and trendy modernization is not.

"...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women..."
--Law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote

last seen wandering vaguely, quite of her own accord...

"What about love?" @i("Overrated. Biochemically no different from
eating large quantities of chocolate.")

The young lady with the Uzi... Is she single?

If I'm a ferocious maiden, can I demand a tithe of dragons?

...At this point we have two options: Option 1: Abandon X-bar theory
as an ill-thought out mistake and claim that...

...of course, Johanna's hair is stunning when braided, too, especially
if she whacks you with it...

...a prerelease version, even more prone to crashes than Wagner...

"...when only Tim Burton knew what Goth was..."

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

I have a process that goes around forking children, most of which are
currently , presumably injured from fork wounds...

Artists are like serial killers: either you are one or you're not.
You just don't decide you are one and start killing. You may leave a few
corpses here and there, but all in all, it's just not the same.

Dude... You can't say pigfucker in front of Noam Chomsky!

It's strong as a panther and as bright as clover,
and it has broccoli's spasms of killing rage.

Why do they call it a "brass rat"? Because a "golden beaver" sounds
like something else entirely...

She lowered her standards by raising her glass,
Her courage, her eyes, and his hopes.

smashing through the boundries / lunacy has found me

End of passion play, crumbling away,
I'm your source of self-destruction.

Welcome to where time stands still,
No one leaves and no one will.

Moon is full, never seems to change,
Just labeled mentally deranged.

Dream the same thing every night,
I see our freedom in my sight.

No locked doors, no windows barred,
No things to make my brain seem scarred.

I was born for dying...

so close no matter how far

trust I seek and I find in you

never opened myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way

so seek the wolf in thyself

misery... you insist that the weight of the world
should be on your shoulders

Lady Godiva

Lick me 'til ice cream.

Humans are not rational beings. Humans are rationalizing beings.

Kill them. Kill them all.

Living on the never-never,
Constant as the changing weather.

I know our Sammy burnt the school down, but it's very easily done,
If the teacher lets the silly gets play with magnesium.

"Deedee frankly bridles at your suggestion that it's
impossible to look tarty and be a feminist."

So many men, so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

"Indigo. I think I'll paint the ceiling indigo..."


"I am not documented, but I have rather extensive on-line help." --erinp

mishap studying to become a catastrophe

.sdrawkcab er'uoY .enif si gisz sihT

"Not a morning person" doesn't even begin to describe it.

Love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so much fun.

A member of the immoral minority.

If I want your opinion, I'll read it in your entrails.

I support family values -- Addams family values.

I am not a monotheist -- the world looks as
though it were designed by a committee.

The heck with top and bottom -- I want
relationships with strangeness and charm.

The Goddess does not seek worship --
She rejoices in being vividly imagined.

'The fog comes in on little cat feet' is a flat lie unless
fog is a great deal noisier than I ever expected.

Feline Sapiens

Excuse me while I change into something more formidable.

Don't blame me -- I was raised by humans.

Does it have enhanced IR vision, a particle beam weapon with target
acquisition, highly amplified arm/leg systems, self-contained atmosphere,
and a small nuclear plant? No? Not much of a "power suit", is it?

Do not turb.

The difference between fantasy and science fiction is that in
fantasy, dragons can hover; in science fiction, they cannot.

Delight and amaze me.

Cthulhu isn't really his name, he just has a speech impediment.

Cthulhu Express -- When it absolutely, positively has to be
turned into an eldritch crawling horror in eons.

Cooking is great -- it's a socially acceptable
excuse to play with knives and fire.

Computers eat time -- we only @i(think) they run on electricity.

Electrical components run on smoke.
If it leaks out, they don't work.

Computers save time like kudzu prevents soil erosion.

It's all geek to me...

Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed.
Chocolate makes it worthwhile.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Chocolate will never replace sex....unless it's VERY good chocolate...

Cheer up -- if the economy collapses completely,
you won't owe your student loan to anyone!

Warning: Contents Vnder Pressvre

C is not a language -- c is 1.802e12 furlongs per fortnight

But this IS the simplified version for the general public!

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Being a model means wearing clothes and not eating.
I'd rather eat and take off my clothes.

Backrubs -- Given with pleasure, received with ecstacy.

Ask a silly person...

Ad hoc, ad loc, and quid pro quo!
So little time! So much to know!

Adante con moto assai vivace quasi Allegretto ma non troppo
-- Beethoven, Op. 86

darkly bright

Killing never solves anything... but it keeps people
out of your hair while you think about what to do.

ORGASM: The punchline some women just don't get, generally
because their mates have a tendency to rush through the joke.

SMILE: To expose a portion of one's skeleton as
a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

/\o/\ It's a bird, it's a plane, it's diethyl ether!

Lakoff, George. @i(Women, Fire, and Dangerous Things,") Chigaco: Chicago Press.

Lewd I did live ; Evil did I dwel.

I don't think I would care to catch a sensible man.
I shouldn't know what to talk to him about!

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune,
but to lose both looks like carelessness.

I adore simple pleasures.
They are the last refuge of the complex.

And the silicon chip inside her head
Gets switched to overload...

tell me why
i don't like mondays

they can see no reasons
because there are no reasons
what reason do you need to be shown?

all the playing's stopped in the playground now
she wants to play with her toys a while

and school's out early and soon we'll be learning
the lesson today is how to die

and he can see no reasons
because there are no reasons
what reason do you need to die?

"noisy cricket"


In the heat of the moment, I said some unforgiveable things.
Please call me, I've thought of a few more.

fvcked by the institvte

Carnal embrace is the practice of throwing
one's arms around a side of beef.

I think you have not been candid with me, Septimus.
A gazebo is not, after all, a meat larder.

"There is nothing more to be said about sexual congress."
@i("Is it the same as love?")
"Oh no, it is much nicer than that."

"Does carnal embrace addle the brain?" @i("Invariably.")

Lending one's bicycle is a form of safe sex,
possibly the safest there is.

"Where was I?" "Pigeons." "Sex." "Literature."

"Is he serious?" @i("No, he's trivial.")

"Fifty-five crystal spheres geared to God's
crankshaft is my idea of a satisfying universe."

"I can't think of anything more trivial than the speed of light."

"Ah yes, men all over. Einstein: relativity and sex. Chippendale:
sex and furniture. Galileo: 'Did the earth move?'"

"That reminds me: I saw something between her legs
that made me think of you."

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying
to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

She who stoops to conquer usually wears a low-cut dress.

"If I blow your mind, do you promise not to think in my mouth?"

E is for emacs, which rebinds your keys, and
F is for fsck, which rebuilds your trees.

G is for grep, a clever detective, while
H is for halt, which may seem defective.

K is for kill, which makes you the boss, while
L is for lex, which is missing from DOS.

M is for more, from which less was begot, and
N is for nice, which it really is not.

S is for spell, which attempts to belittle, while
T is for true, which does very little.

U is for uniq, which is used after sort, and
V is for vi, which is hard to abort.

W is for whoami, which tells you your name, while
X is, well, X, of dubious fame.

Y is for yes, which makes an impression, and
Z is for zcat, which handles compression.

Very small. Go to sleep.

Once it started, the frail and fainthearted
Just withered to the floor...

Oh so sadly, we examined hands burned badly
By that which no man fears more...

The terrible flames of all that remains
Of my little shirtwaist fire.

Such a sweet face trapped in the staircase
By the smell of her own burning hair...

Girls work hard for small rewards or invitations to dine
Or one kind word from one who loves them but what I have earned is mine...

Transylvanian Concubine

Marvel at their pale skin wonder
How they chew on their pointy teeth.

The blood has run out and
Fangs ruin any cute pout.

I've got a brand new pair of roller skates
You've got a brand new key...

I've got a brand new pair of roller skates you've got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them on to see...

Some people say I done alright for a girl.

I'm trying to tell myself not to talk to myself,
but that seems like a lost cause.

Nations go to war over women like you,
It's just a form of appreciation.

One likes to believe in the freedom of music.

Strange voices are saying, ah what did they say?
Things I can't understand.

I know just how to whisper, and I know just how to cry.

semi-scary-looking chick


Psychotropic tone structure or not, it reads like Korngold and Mahler
take a vacation with Shoenberg and end up on Krakatoa with a gamelan.

Demonic, but masterful. Liszt with his hair in braids and on LSD.

Even her periods of insanity had an air of repressed
decorum: madness just isn't dignified. --Virginia Woolf

"'Motorcycle cop' is a sweet nothing???"

Evil is viable; Good's unreliable,
Good may be thankable; Evil is bankable.

My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate.

it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone.

torque wench

The Goddess says @i(no). Nope, nope, nope.

"I'm reclaiming the long-lost matriarchal rite
of butt-watching."

the mosh-pit of intimacy

Bereft, Pru ate nothing but stale marzipan,
And thrashed about tragically on the divan.

The Tao of Goth flies far and wide and comes back in the morning with
runny make-up and a hangover.

You might be a goth if... you are picky about what shade of black you wear.

You might be a goth if... you wear colors
only when you're too depressed to wear black.

You might be a goth if... you wonder why people in your psychology class
feel the need to study masochism. Doesn't *everyone* like to be hurt?

You might be a goth if... you buy your jewelry at the hardware store.

I wasn't born. I was summoned.

You might be a goth if... all the lint on your carpet is black.

You might be a goth if... no matter how crowded a bus is,
no one ever sits next to you.

You might be a goth if... you are the token weird friend.

As I let go of my shoulds and feelings of guilt, I can
get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into
ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

I can change any thought that hurts
into a reality that hurts even more.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those
censorious, self-righteous people around me.

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for midnight mass?

"CuddleCom....like DOOMcom but nicer." --fyfer

rakes and shovels and implements of destruction!

"...and we was both jumping up and down yelling 'KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL!'"

"...you want to know if I'm moral enough to join the army, burn women,
kids, houses, children and villages after being a litterbug?"

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant.

Vidi, vici, veni: I saw, I conquered, I came.

N-methyl-3-phenyl-3-[(a,a,a-trifluoro-p-tolyl)oxy]propylamine hydrochloride


"I @i(love) food. Food is @i(so) great, I mean, it's
@i(so) much more fun than photosynthesis..." -- Death

"His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine."
@i("None but your beauty -- would that fault were mine!")

Desire smells almost subliminally of summer peaches, and casts two shadows.

Desire smells almost subliminally of summer peaches, and casts two shadows:
one black and sharp edged, the other translucent and forever wavering.

"`I am that merry wanderer of the night?' `I am that giggling dangerous
totally bloody psychotic menace to life and limb,' more like it."

I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree
to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.

a city in which the streets are paved with time

a rose bush, a nightingale, and black rubber dog-collar

gryphons shouldn't marry. vampires don't dance.

a sestina about silence, using the key words dark, ragged, never,
screaming, fire, kiss.

magical and elchemical traditions seen as a cargo cult

Many years ago, a sect in what is now Afghanistandeclared [Despair] a
goddess, and proclaimed all empty rooms her sacred spaces.

Sometimes I forget what I was going to say.
Sometimes I remember things everyone else has forgotten forever and always.
Does that ever happen to you?

To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists;
and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due.

"...language is a virus and religion is an operating system,
and prayers are just so much fucking spam." -- Gaiman (American Gods)

"It's like when people ask "Why do you write about angels?" and I say,
I don't know; I try to keep them out, and they crawl back in like
cockroaches." -- Gaiman

"Could you make me look surprisingly fuckable for a writer, please?
Actually, I'd settle for brooding. Really, I'd settle for not very
goofy." -- Gaiman (to the book-jacket photographer)

"It's all going renfest, I think. The whole bloody world. Not that I
minded; there's nothing to cheer you up like other people wearing wet
chainmail." --Gaiman, about Trieste

you can screw everybody i've ever known
but i still won't talk to you on the phone

you try to put the finishing touches on me

my angel dressed in black

mad love, shadow love
random love and abandoned love
accidentally like a martyr

Send lawyers, guns and money...

"Interrupting coefficient of friction."
@i("Interrupting coeff...") "Mu!"

#11 - Law of Inherent Combustability:
Everything explodes. Everything.

"So how do we call this function?"
@i("Heeeeeeeere, function!")

"I need a sign that you've turned over a new leaf."
@i("How about 'slippery when wet?'")

So many people to kill... so little time.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. "Yes" is the answer.

I want to be Wednesday Addams.

"This @i(is) my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac.
They look just like everybody else."

"But how can you be a witch if you have difficulty floating?"

"Don't you get it? Dark lord reborn equal world go BOOM!"

"You have anime hair!" --mwhitson

"There's a word for that." @i("What, 'love'?")
"No, 'Eit.'" @i("Same thing.")

Curmudgeon? Of course not! I am purebredmudgeon!

Cute demonspawn that purrs and crashes alot?

Too many samples, Mozart.

biff look at su. biff strip su. biff touch su tty.
'yes!' sed su.

You say the unexamined life is not worth living. Well the examined life
isn't either. And it's a great deal more painful.

Here I am offering you my body, and you're offering me semantics?

Life lost some of its beauty when truth drugs
replaced thumb screws and hot irons.

Thank you for making my day a little bit more surreal...

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority.

hold me thrill me kiss me kill me

Of course God loves you -- He's just not
ready to make a commitment.

If you would know strength and patience,
welcome the company of trees.

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin --
it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

I practice parallel monogamy.

Warning - you are in too many groups. Some of them will be ignored.

"Do you have an impact drill?"

"Everything you create, you use to destroy."
@i("Yeah, we call it human nature.")

"So what do you need? Besides a miracle."
@i("Guns. Lots of guns.")

"It means buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, because
Kansas is going bye-bye."

mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence

Sex alleviates tension and love causes it.

Forget her... That girl will tear your heart out,
put it in a blender and hit "frappe."

Now that I realize I've been suffering from a simple
psychotic depression, I feel empowered.

Of course he has a knife. We all have knives!
It's 1183 and we're all barbarians!

There is no immortality but a tree's love.

Everything I've done, I've done for you.
I move the stars for no one.

You keep saying that. I wonder what your
basis for comparison is?

You have no power over me!

I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I
will be your slave.

"You remind me of the babe." @i("What babe?") "The babe with the power."
@i("What power?") "The power of voodoo." @i("Who do?") "You do."
@i("Do what?") "Remind me of the babe."

It's so stimulating being your hat.

They had forgotten the first lesson:
that we must be powerful, beautiful, and without regret.

I am decent. I also happen to be naked.

Pardon me, but your teeth are in my neck.

You said don't shoot him, right? Well I didn't; I strangled him.
If you didn't want me to kill him, why did you leave me alone with him?

"What's wrong?"
@i("Nothing that a rooftop and an AK-47 won't take care of.")

"You know what? Establishment's gonna fall down go boom..."

"What's for dinner?"

"I fuck divinely..."

We're not laughing at you -- we're laughing near you.

"Wings? I don't have wings!"
@i("Of course not, you're a boy.")

Nice girls don't explode.

"April, do you know why Mommy spanked you?"
@i("Because I made Fluffy fly?")

Like most intellectuals, he's intensely stupid.

I promised her my eternal love, and I actually
thought that for a couple of hours.

Baldrick, you wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted
itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord,
singing "Subtle plans are here again!"

Having a Boo Radley moment, are we?

Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.

I have this image of you -
inside of me - like a part of me.

I'm not apologizing for what I did do.
I'm apologizing for what I didn't do.

"What are you doing?" @i("Isn't it obvious?
I'm trying to seduce you.")

i'm still awake...

"Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"
@i("That was no piccolo, that was my fife!")

Nice guys finish last, and bring you breakfast in bed.

You are @i(nuts!) They should cover you in chocolate
and sell you as a snack!

I've seen a lot of sexually perverse
photographs involving tennis rackets.

It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's
another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of Liquid Drano.

My teenage angst bullshit now has a body count.

You know what I want?
Cool guys like you out of my life.

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
Do I look like Mother Theresa to you?

Rate your embarassment: a) High b) Hello c) Good evening.

I believe in God, only I spell it "Nature".

Some things have to be believed to be seen.

fewer dahlias

Warning: Dates In Calendar Are Closer Than They Appear

Is it so frightening to have me at your shoulder?
Thunder and lightning couldn't be bolder.

Salvation a la mode and a cup of tea.

I don't believe you: you got the whole damn thing all wrong,
He's not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays.

I'll write on your tombstone, "I thank you for dinner."

Let me bring you love from the field:
Poppies red and roses filled with summer rain.

pass the cup of crimson wonder

in her fairy-tale world she's a lost soul singing

Speed it up, and the sound a tree makes is @i(vrooom!)

Sex and voyeurism have many uses and rationales: procreation,
recreation, titillation and what-can-I-do-for-fun-that-costs-less-
than-a-ticket-to-a-Broadway-musical, to name a few.

Cut, cut, cut... Fahrvergnuegen!

Never hit a man with glasses.
Hit him with something bigger and heavier.

Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear.
It annoys them very much.

What does the future hold?
What can it hold with strange, unlikely lovers?

This is a weird romance!

Will it be burning out,
Or burning bright...

"...A contemporary version of _Our_Town_, set on Jupiter's third moon.
I play Emily, but instead of coming back from the dead I've been
assimilated by an alien mass-mind, and I have to decide whether to
take one last look at everyone I ever loved... or eat them."

"Uh... Hi... Kevin, please tell me it's an AI program..."
@i("No 'program' can act that spontaneously.") "I know. Tell me anyways."

I was ten, I was blue, and I knew.

"The rubber prophylactic: How it functions under stress"

"In one poem, Yeates uses the dread word, 'copulate,' and Daddy...
well, Daddy was neither amused nor enlightened."

And now I am, instead of grounded,
Surrounded by air...

It's so confused it simply has to be a man.

You can't live _with_ 'em... You can't sell 'em for the parts!

"They watch themselves go crazy, and they know you know they know.
It's all so Pirandello..." @i("No, more like Edgar Allen Poe...")

So cute they suck the air of patience from your lungs,
And then go "Women!" like it's @i(us) who speak in tongues!

Well, it's really great lasagne...

...and I'm @i(never) sarcastic...

In Goddess We Trust

I am the very model of a heroine barbarian.

Inebriate of air am I, and debauchee of dew.

I went to the bank... And there they were! Straight people! Everywhere!
Nobody talks about it, but everybody knows it's true...

"You've stolen my heart away, but that's okay,
I have three or four left in my freezer."

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

When someone says 'How-do-you-do,' just say that you don't.

spontaneous human combustion
there goes another one

...my G string snapped when I was up on stage in front of everyone and it
was @i(so) embarassing...

"Whipped cream with knives."

Every day a little death...

how the winds are laughing...


Love is like pork rinds. At first, it seems disgusting. Then, you try it,
and it seems okay. Then you find out what goes into it, and you realize
that you were right the first time. Except love isn't crunchy.

Do not confuse the musical instrument, for it is poorly
calibrated and will nibble on you.

i wonder why i like pictures of strange headless men
carrying bowlers and umbrellas.


Stunt Borg!

"Where did my shirt go?" @i("*burp* It needed salt.")

A bear of very little brain.

Cabbages are dodecahedrons.

Oy Gestalt...

Some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate, and for them
I could not disagree. But I've never learned anything from playing
it straight: I say fate should not tempt me!"

When you're following an angel, does it mean you have to
throw your body off a building?

"Satan has cooler hair than that." --ingolia

I chirp endearingly. You want to scritch my head.

Laugh it up, Fuzzball...

"We're going to have quite an orgy of Johann Sebastian."
@i("Wouldn't that be a Bachanalia?")

teaser and the firecat

She dines in solitary splendor, off cracked china plates weirdly painted with
a pattern of carnivorous-looking flowers and nervous butterflies.

It's a small world, and it smells funny.

Chateau D'isaster

Throughout these woods, ecstatic screams...

Autumn in her flaming dress of orange, brown and gold leaves,
My mistress of the frigid night, I worship, pray to on my knees.

Damn me, Father, for I must sin...

Not long ago but far away; a rainy winter's day
All her pain she kept inside, could no longer hide.

From the dark I feel your lips,
And I taste your bloody kiss.

I've run out of patience, tears, and hope.

In the shadow of the light from a black sun,
Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb.

Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection?

No more nights of blood and fire.

I see your face in every flame.

Well when I called her evil, she just laughed.

You want to go out because it's raining and blowing,
You can't go out 'cause your roots are showing: Dye 'em black...

Her perfume smells like burning leaves.

Every day is Halloween.

Loving you was like loving the dead.

Dedicated to all those who have loved unconditionally
only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out.

a living flame, impossible to resist

this apparition in moonbeams bathed
a voice like wind through trees beckons

nocturnal mistress, spirit lover,
your mouth of wine and woodsmoke essence

my goddess of the violet twilight

Base not your joy upon the deeds of others,
for what is given can be taken away.

I'd love to go out, but I have to stay in and degauss my cats.

let me fall

you can hold me only if you too will fall
away from all these useless fears and chains

Rota is finite. You are finite. This is wrong equation.

Allosteric proteins are chaotic neutral.

I want to create an omelet that expresses the meaninglessness of
existence, and instead they taste like cheese.

I now seek a single recipe which will, by itself, embody the plight of
man in a world ruled by an unfeeling God, as well as providing the eater
with at least one ingredient from each of the four basic food groups.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Just when I hit bottom, someone hands me a shovel...

Crash, put down the blowtorch, raise both hands,
and step away from the stove.

"Mmm--munchy, crunchy, chocolatey commuters!"

"Immolation is the sincerest form of flattery."

In /dev/null, no one can hear you scream...

futon: the fundamental particle of human inertia. emitted by comfy chairs,
couches, and beds (bed futon fields are strongest in the morning).

There isn't a mome rath born who can outgrabe me!

...great thundering herds of statistical atoms...

...a momentary lapse of denial...

There is a world of difference between "I never want to hurt you,"
and "I want to never hurt you,"...

The Love Cop says, "Lust makes you stupid." Words to live by.

Cats are people. Cows aren't. With dogs it's a coin toss.

Cats are cats, that's why they're so proud.
They'd never deign to be people.

A practicing witch should @i(not) have a practicing fire alarm.

Thor: the Norse god of acheth and painth.

Instrumental Jam Session! (No, we're not throwing our instruments
in a pot with some sugar and boiling them for hours.)

If the floor below the first floor is called de basement,
then the floor below it should be known as de bauchery...

Gentle Ladies of Death and Destruction

Brothel of Dreams: If you build it, they will come...

I'm not an evil witch, I'm a grumpy witch.

Of course I'm in a bad mood: someone just dropped
a house on my sister.

Do not chew on the person on the right's arm.
Rather, use the salad fork and stab the person on your left's leg.
To do elsewise would be a faux pas.

You might be a technopagan if...
your athame has a SCSI interface.

You might be a technopagan if...
you cut your circle with a laserpointer.

You might be a technopagan if...
your priest robes conceal a pocket protector.

You might be a technopagan if...
your altar has a keyboard.

You might be a technopagan if...
your Yule ritual involves defragmentation.

You might be a technopagan if... when your quarter candles burn out,
the UPS backup system kicks in.

You might be a technopagan if...
your familiar is a mouse.

You might be a technopagan if...
your cone of power has a surge suppressor.

You might be a technopagan if...
your circle is a token ring.

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

The last good thing written in C was
Franz Schubert's Symphony number 9.

Shabby: What @i(is) a seder, anyway?
Tappan: It's kind of like Rocky Horror Picture Show, only over dinner.

Don't give me that "kinkier than thou" expression.

Essence of Zen: Don't just @i(do) something -- sit there!

I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields,
that it kisses them so gently?

When applicable, maketh thou love not war.
When not applicable, maketh thou love noisily.

No! No hospital. I've been in hospitals. They take away your pants.
Then they hurt you and starve you and expose you to disease.
Then they bill you for it. A lot.

I'll settle for a cup of coffee but you know what I really need.

Don't argue with the Muse with low bloodsugar.

Woman, thy name is screwball.

Worst case of testosterone poisoning I've ever seen...

"Those are the rules." @i("And where are these rules?")
"They're written in braille on your tongue."

If he weren't a hacker, I would despair of his ever having
enough brains to do anything.

It was, of course, nothing more than sexism, the especially virulent type
espoused by male techies who sincerely believe that they are too smart
to be sexists.

When you are wrestling for possession of a sword,
the man with the hilt always wins.

With the level, cross-eyed stare of the involuntarily awake...

Bacon was smouldering on the range, filling the house with gas-phase
polycyclic aromatics -- my favorite carcinogen by a long shot.

Lawrence can do mod 25 arithmatic in his sleep,
but doing it with an erection is a different matter.

John's leaning against the window, probably trying to figure
out what parametric equation generated the petals on that eight
foot tall carnivorous plant.

"Instead of calling Athena the goddess of war, wisdom and macrame,
then, we should say war and technology."

...a certain planet, third one out from a certain mediocre star
in an average spiral galaxy named after a candy bar.

I would like to help you out. Now which way did you come in?

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

We're fighting for this woman's honor,
which is more than she ever did.

Well-rounded people are pointless.

If space and time are curved, where did all the straight people come from?

Please Do Not Feed or Tease the Straight People

She seemed always to imagine that someone would come along singing
@i(tirra-lirra!) or something equally intelligent, by the river.

I refer to myself as the Director of Disgruntled Cat Toys.

Director of Disgruntled Cat Toys

"I would have tranferred to see that..." @i("Really? I was at MIT: my
housemates never noticed...")

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

Monogamy? Isn't that some kind of wood?

Hacking's just another word for nothing left to kludge...

Adorably evil and reassuringly sinister.

Enziquelvinisensee Evelvenin


Angharad Crwthor de Mitgaard






purry fuzzball

naiad, dryad, purry fuzzball

Lissi Luinealdariel

Naturally, since I am a man of integrity, I will not break that pledge, unless
I get up some morning and decide I really feel like it.

But if it's called tourist season, @i(why) can't we shoot at them?

We heard her exclaim as she climbed through the air "Thank
Goddess there's only eight sabbats a year!"

It is easier not to believe in electrons than in dragons:
electrons, at least taken singly, won't try to make a meal of you.

Gyros should be eaten with the fingers -- but preferrably, the fingers
should be eaten sepately.

i may be mad, i may be blind, i may be viciously unkind

some things are better left unsaid
but they can still turn me inside out

this is the book i never read, these are the words i never said,
this is that path i'll never tread,
these are the dreams i'll dream instead

this is that joy that's seldom spread, these are the tears, the tears we shed
this is the fear, this is the dread
these are the contents of my head

let the rain come down
let the wind blow through me

the dust has been collecting in the corners of my mind

Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death.

cold is the colour of crystal, the snowlight.

no more i love you's

no more i love you's
launguage is leaving me in silence.

i'm learning things i didn't want to know

a model of decorum and tranquility

nobody's on nobody's side

never lose your heart use your head

The one I should not think of keeps running through my mind
And I don't want to let that go...

There's nothing certain left to know,
And now the cracks begin to show...

Never take a stranger's advice
Never let a friend fool you twice.

Everybody's playing the game
But nobody's rules are the same...

Now I'm where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I always
said I would and yet I feel I haven't won at all...

Running for my life and never looking back in case there's someone
there behind to shoot me down and say they always knew I'd fall...

When this crazy wheel slows down... Where will I be?
Back where I started...

Who'd ever think it, this would be the situation?
One more complication should be neither here nor there.
I wish I had it in me not to care.

preaching to the perverted

Yesterday, a girl that I was fond of,
Finally could see the writing on the wall.

what i'm feeling now
has no easy explanation
reason plays no part

maybe it's best to love a stranger

or you'd rather perhaps see her world collapse?

but we go on pretending
stories like ours... have happy endings.

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally, perfect situations must go wrong,
But this has never yet prevented me, wanting far too much for far too long.

Didn't I know how it would go?
If I knew from the start,
Why am I falling apart?

I see my present partner in the imperfect tense,
And I don't see how we can last.

Knowing I want you, knowing I love you,
Cannot compare, with my despair,
Knowing I've lost you.

There will be days and nights,
When I'll want you more than I want to.

"Are you happy? Is she?" @i("I love her!")
"That's not what I asked."

"it's so refreshing to play a prostitute!" --jeri

Strange, that from lovely dreamings of the dead
I shall come back to you, who hurt me most.
You may not feel my hand upon your head, I'll be so new and inexpert a ghost.
Perhaps you will not know that I am near-
And that will break my ghostly heart, my dear.

Oh, wrap my eyes with linen fair, with hempen cord go bind me,
And, of your mercy, leave me there, nor tell them where to find me.
Oh, lock the portal as you go, and see its bolts be double....
Come back in half an hour or so, and I will be in trouble.

By the time you swear you're his, shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this: one of you is lying.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie. --Dorothy Parker

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.

I give her sadness, and the gift of pain,
The new-moon madness, and the love of rain.

My land is bare of chattering folk; the clouds are low along the ridges,
And sweet's the air with curly smoke from all my burning bridges.

Her mind lives tidily, apart from cold and noise and pain,
And bolts the door against her heart out wailing in the rain.

If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am, because I do not give a damn.

Oh, when I was in love with you, then I was clean and brave,
And miles around the wonder grew how well did I behave.
And now the fancy passes by, and nothing will remain,
And miles around they'll say that I am quite myself again.

My own dear love, he is strong and bold, and he cares not what comes after.
His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, and his eyes are lit with laughter.
He is jubilant as a flag unfurled -- Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him.
My own dear love, he is all my world, and I wish I'd never met him.

My love runs by like a day in June, and he makes no friends of sorrows.
He'll tread his galloping rigadoon in the pathway of the morrows.
He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, nor could storm or wind uproot him.
My own dear love, he is all my heart -- and I wish somebody'd shoot him.

The ladies men admire, I've heard, would shudder at a wicked word.
Their candle gives a single light; they'd rather stay at home at night.
They do not keep awake till three, nor read erotic poetry.
They never sanction the impure, nor recognize an overture.
They shrink from powders and from paints... so far, I've had no complaints.

Razors pain you, rivers are damp;
Acids stain you, and drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful, nooses give;
Gas smells awful, you might as well live.

Into love and out again, thus I went and thus I go.
Spare your voice, and hold your pen: well and bitterly I know.
All the songs were ever sung, all the words were ever said;
Could it be, when I was young, someone dropped me on my head?

Cancer cures smoking.

Panic now -- Avoid the rush.

Please don't squeeze the shaman.

God, protect me from your followers.

Bad CP -- No Donut!

My Goddess gave birth to your God.

Freely flows the blood of those who moralize!

Back of his smile, under his word,
Sweeney heard music that nobody heard.

served a dark and a vengeful God

You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn...

had her chance for the moon on a string

Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid...

Would no one have mercy on her?

Splendours you have never dreamed all your days will be yours.

How can you remain, staring at the rain, maddened by the stars?

Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays...

She's been locked in there with those screeching, jibbering maniacs!
A madhouse...

smoke, smoke, sign of the devil, sign of the devil, city on fire...

Every night at the vespers bell, smoke that comes from the mouth of hell...

Mischief! Mischief! Fiend...

Oh look, Johanna, a star! A shooting star!

And though I'll think of you, I guess, until the day I die,
I think I'll miss you less and less as every day goes by...

Wake up, Johanna, another bright red day,
We learn, Johanna, to say... Goodbye...

I am a lass who alas loves a lad, who alas loves a lass loves another lad,
Who once I had... in Canterbury.

here i sit, hand on the telephone,
hearing a voice i'd known a couple of lightyears ago

we both know what memories can bring
they bring diamonds and rust

now i see you standing with brown leaves
falling all around, snow in your hair

speaking strictly for me, we both could have died then and there.

i need some of that vagueness now
it's all come back too clearly

and if you're offering me diamonds and rust
i've already paid

...or until we can find a proper blood sacrifice to offer up in the middle
of the computer room. And no, I don't know anything about that dark
stain in the middle of the floor...

Witches don't melt when you pour water on them,
witches melt when you give them backrubs!

Are you @i(mad)? Do you know the kind of things that live up there? Griffins,
firedrakes, colddrakes -- things without names 'cause no one who's
seen 'em has lived long enough to give them any name besides "AAAARGH!"

Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire
day swimming upstream, only to get screwed in the end.

But now the forest fills with shadows,
and the raven and the wolf call your name...

and my love would close about you like a shroud

I know the wind will tell you stories,
And every tale come to a bloody end...

My life is like juggling Faberge eggs in variable gravity.

In the beginning, there was the Word. But when the second
Word was added, there was trouble, for with it came Syntax.

Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Everything else is a scratching post.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Here is a creature. Let's call him Boris.

Speaking of funny, here are your exams.

As you can see, math not only is interesting, but also very cute.

I'm Faintly Macabre, the not-so-wicked Which.

"But how will you make it move? it doesn't have a --"
"Be very quiet, for it goes without speaking."

For instance, if Christmas trees were people and people Christmas
trees, we'd all be chopped down, put up in the living room and
covered in tinsel, while the trees opened our presents.

Sibelius doesn't have to @i(try) to be sexy.

"If I tie my serial communications cable into a knot, will that change the
parity of the electrons?"
"Of course not! Recall that Yang and Lee got the Nobel prize in '57 for
showing that parity is knot-conserved." (Nichael Cramer)

I may act kind of random but I am not a senseless beauty.

"Hey, smile! It only takes two muscles!" @medium(@i(***ZOT!***))
@i("That took a few extra muscles, but I think it was worth it.")

Soaring in the wind is being cuddled by the sky;
Dancing in the rain is being kissed by it.

Neptune's daughter, a Nymph, fleeing from
Priapus, was turned into a tree.

blue nymph-haunted seas

When the Dark comes rising, six shall turn it back;
Three from the circle, three from the track;
Wood, bronze, iron; water, fire, stone;
Five will return, and one go alone.

Fire on the mountains shall find the harp of gold
Played to wake the Sleepers, oldest of the old;
Power from the green witch, lost beneath the sea;
All shall find the light at last, silver on the tree.

On the day of the dead, when the year too dies,
Must the youngest open the oldest hills, through the door of the birds,
Where the breeze breaks.

There fire shall fly from the raven boy, and the silver eyes
that see the wind, and the Light shall have the harp of gold.

When light from the lost land shall return,
Six Sleepers shall ride, six Signs shall burn,
And when the midsummer tree grows tall
By Pendragon's sword the Dark shall fall.

Really, they're to keep my anti-gravity plants near the floor...

this is the sound of dream falling down

the skeleton trees
remind me of me

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose burning mouth is pressed
Against the earth's sweet flowin' breast.

five minutes in the closet with you

Humans only wreck the world.
They'd kill your whole family for a string of pearls.

If I had wings I'd try to fly,
But they don't make it harder to die.

I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying,
But I can't get away from the thought.
I'm dying, I'm dying -- I already gave away all that I've got.

Love me, love, but just don't touch. -- I don't like to be touched.

Love me, love, but just don't touch. -- I don't like to be touched.
You might think we all need that stuff, but I don't think about it much.
And when I do, I have to leave the room. I'm scared of what I might do.

I'm a goddess in your eyes, and I will never die.
I was born of people's needs, and what they don't want to believe.

But I am a liar, that's the truth. Go home and think it through.
That's the harm in mystery -- all you know is what you see.

this is the sound
of a tree falling down

this is the sound of a tree falling down
like me giving up

Why are simple things so hard?

I'm not shy, I'm just studying my prey.

The moon in the morning still clings to the skies
Trying to tell me it's night...

The moon in the morning is telling me lies
I see the moon in your eyes.

"I'm lucky, he's lucky..." @i("The banister's lucky!")

Fiant Labiae!

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

if you see her don't upset her
never seems to get much better

she's a screamer

and i'll only hurt you in my dreams

i look up and see the rising of an old hope
brave and tattered moon, you made me cry when i was young...

Once you enter a piece of music, time has nothing to do
with the world outside; it's not 8:22, it's the fifth
measure of the second movement, allegro.

Just give me the chocolate and no one will get hurt...

If this makes any sense to you, you have a big problem.

She charges everything she touches...
And everything she charges she exchanges...

'elp! 'elp! I'm being repressed!

@i(Mortal Wombat!)

Some mornings it's just not worth it to
chew through the leather straps...

the moon is drowning while i sleep

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I don't eat people. I only chewed a little in self-defense.

We're making a @i(really @b(big)) hat...

A @i(what???)

Eschew Obfuscation!

FLASH! Intelligence of mankind decreasing. Details at ... uh, when
the little hand is on the ....

Monday is a rather horrid way to spend one seventh of one's life...

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you flee.

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

It's been so long since I made love I can't even
remember who gets tied up.

I am @i(not) repeating myself, I am @i(not) repeating myself...
Oh God, I'm repeating myself.

I don't know who he is, but I hate him.

"There's nothing to see, really,
we're inside a Chinese dragon."

" ...but they threw me out of that college." @i("Why?") "I blew up
a building." @i("Political activism?") "Chemistry major."

blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves,
for we shall never fail to be amused.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder...

But the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart, as they turn your dreams to shame...

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living...

But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather.

Cute. Not wise, but cute.

"I'm gonna take you to the zoo and feed you to the yaks."

Alone and lonely are not the same thing.

My reputation is having more fun than I am. Again.

Pick up your mind, you're getting the gutter dirty!

Don't anthropomorphize computers. They don't like it.

Within the seemingly safe tonal territories of the mellifluous major scale,
festering and bleating with perfidious intent, it lurks stealthily...

May I introduce you to that beaked, horned, clawed and feathered
cabuncular debauch! Steeped in Stygian vapors; The Embodiment of Armageddon;
The Plutonic Sarcophage; The Umbric Pustule . . . . The Evil Tritone!!!

Hark! What tenebrous, saturnalian dissonance obtrudes its chthonic way into
the otherwise luminiferously pastoral realm of the major scale? Indeed, is it
not a veritable hell in the very heart of heaven?

The horrible reality is that the lovely major scale, the ubiquitous queen-
mother of all Western Music contains the sulferous interval that the wise
Gregorians termed @i("Diablo en Musica").

The very do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do we teach our rosy-cheeked innocents in
kindergarten is actually the obsequious handmaiden, indeed bedfellow of
the Prince of Darkness!

So I say unto you: Revel not in the wretched squalor of the duplicitous
major scale. Banish the hated tritone forever! Stray not from the path of
pure pentatonicity! Be steadfast in your resolve: use only scales with
righteous and unsullied intervals!

Is the plural of dominatrix dominatrices?

"You want office solutions? Fine. I'll drop a stapler and a few
paper clips in a beaker of hydrochloric acid." --thessaly

"Babies come out clutching 50 of your IQ points
in their chubby little fists." --thessaly

"I've got Tom in training to be the professor's wife.
He pours tea really well but we're having problems
with the white lacy gloves." --thessaly

Oh we're all smart and we're all beautiful and we should all go and
find something to blow up in a tasteful manner.

"The little potholes of your heart??"

"The heart is a byzantine thingie.
And it's oozy and hard to contain." --thessaly

"...even though my thought processes @i(do) resemble
Cthulhu on rollerskates..." --thessaly

"what's an Angst?"
"oh, it's a kind of a cross, but with a loopy bit on top."

I just want what every girl wants: A nice husband,
a nice house, 23 cats, a motorcycle, a free T1, strong
encryption and gargoyles on the roof. --thessaly

"I followed a polenta recipe this morning and got several cubic yards of
non-Newtonian breakfast." --thessaly

"I have three wishes: 1. the ability to get by on 3 hours of sleep a night
2. a neural interface through which I can download helicopter pilot programs
3. wicked upper body strength. I think 1 and 3 are worth a shot." --thessaly

"Tie me to the bed and indulge my dark aesthetic, baby!" --thessaly

"if my next kitten is as much of a little fuck as these 2 were, i'm going
to name it Great Rite." --thessaly

"We need to find The Planet of Sexy Available Non-Slimy Pagan Neuroscientists
Who Are Horny Only When You Want Then To Be." --thessaly

I don't like love stories because they generally detract from the
explosions, biomechanoids and deadly viruses. --thessaly

But now I know the things I know and do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you!

Ruth gave me a piece of her mind this morning. I am grateful, of course,
but I don't know where to put it or, for that matter, what it is.

The human brain weighs only 3 to 4 pounds but contains about 100 billion
neurons. The liver probably contains 100 million cells, but 1,000 livers do
not add up to a rich inner life.

This is a lesson that you must learn -- always pillage @i(before) you burn.

arg -- The cgs unit of work incorrectly done.

Thank you for the flowers -- I threw them on the fire.

I marvel at the wonder of it in our souless age.

One day we'll laugh about it or maybe we'll curse.

Now we don't know each other anymore,
And when we touch, our lips feel sore.

Put seaweed in my hair and vow that
you won't cry because I've gone.

The tres bon mots you almost quote
from your quiver of literary darts...

The hunted look, the haunted grace,
The empty laugh that you cultivate...

Laughter cannot dignify or elevate this sad burlesque...

As the sun beats down and life begins to complicate,
Will we both incinerate?

But the wind is changing you know...
Are you sure of your friends and your foes?

A thousand or so tuneless violins
thrilling your cheap little heart.

Would I lie to you? Would I sell you a dud?
Just sign on the line, could you possibly write it in blood...?

Everyone else has lost interest and
I'm all alone in this dream house...

An unplugged radio plays. She is close now...

I thought I'd write to Juliet, for she would understand...

And when someone is already dead
they can no longer let you down...

Summertime withers as the sun descends.

He wants to kiss you. Will you condescend?

Under a fine canopy of lover's dust and humourous bones...

Eternity stinks, my darling. That's no joke.

Don't waste your precious time
pretending you're heartbroken.

There will be tears and candles, pretty words to say...

Spare me the lily-white lillies with
the awful perfume of decay...

banish all dismay
extinguish every sorrow

If I'm lost or I'm forgiven
The birds will still be singing.

Are you a Jack or a Goth?

Without a doubt, there is such a thing as too much order.

spare parts and broken hearts
keep the world turning around

There was a girl at a party and she was very beautiful.
Her face was beautiful. Her dress was beautiful. Her feet were beautiful.
Everybody said, "How beautiful!" And she was rich too. But the other
girls at the party didn't care because they all had warm bathrobes.

somebody else's nut tree

somebody else's nutcase

"What a mess," one of the angels said.

rational romantic mystic cynical idealist

I'd hate to alienate anybody who's
looking for a prom date to Valhalla.

"I am such a slut when it comes to intelligence." --kara

Males are biologically driven to go out and hunt giraffes.

The mirror crack'd from side to side
"The curse is come upon me" cried the Lady of Shalott

Singing in her song she died, the Lady of Shalott.

She knows not what the curse may be.
And so she weaveth steadily...

I can see the lights in the distance,
Trembling in the dark cloak of night...

Candles and lanterns are dancing, dancing,
A waltz on all-souls' night.

When owls call the breathless moon in the blue veil of the night
The shadows of the trees appear amidst the lantern light...

I'd hear the ocean breathe; exhale upon the shore.
I knew the tempest's blood: its wrath I would endure.

The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas.

Find the answers, ask the questions
Find the roots of an ancient tree.

Cast your eyes on the ocean, cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless... please remember me.

Then the mountain rose before me, by the deep well of desire --
From the fountain of forgiveness, beyond the ice and the fire.

a clouded dream on an earthly night hangs upon the crescent moon

a voiceless song in an ageless light

I got my car realigned yesterday...
Turns out it's Chaotic Evil.


Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

The first thing to do when you're being stalked by an angry mob with
raspberries, is to release a tiger.

"I think man is the most interesting insect,
don't you?" --Marvin the Martian

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

The meek will inherit the earth:
the rest of us will go on to the stars...

Men. Can't live with 'em,
and you can't get a new operating system.

and perhaps a sticky bun? ...or four?

What's the good of being good, if everyone is blind
And you're always left behind?
Never mind, Cinderella, kind Cinderella -- Nice good good kind good nice!

And then bang! Crash! And the lightning flash!
And well, that's another story, never mind, anyway...

So there's no more fuss and there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives -- you should see my nectarines!

I'm telling you the same I tell Kings and Queens:
Don't ever never ever mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans.

Wishes may bring problems, such that you regret them,
better than though than to never get them.

Do you know what you wish? Are you certain
what you wish is what you want?

But how can you know what you want til you get what you want
And you see if you like it?

What I want most of all is to know what I want.

When you know you can't have what you want,
where's the profit in wishing?

No knot unties itself.

where the sky is lead and the earth is stone.

The woods are just trees, the trees are just wood...

It's the last midnight...

Isn't it nice to know a lot?
And a little bit not.

The girl must be mad...

Why you do what you do, that's the point
All the rest of it is chatter.

If the thing you do is pure in intent, and it's meant
But it's just a little bent, does it matter?

Sometimes the things you most wish for are not to be touched.

And to get what you wish only for a moment...

Dwarves are very upsetting...

What's so intriguing, or half so fatiguing,
as what's out of reach?

If we knew what we were doing, it would not be called
research, would it? --Einstein

I'm tired. Big surprise.

Hey! I resemble that remark...

E Pluribus Unix

Good literature is about Love and War.
Trash fiction is about Sex and Violence.

Alone, as I sit and watch the trees
Won't you tell me if I scream
Will they bend down and listen to me?

When RNA polymerase makes this structure, it looks back in horror
at what it has just done, and immediately quits. --Boris Magasanik

empowerment: \im-'*pau.(-*)r-m*nt\ n. the action
of sticking one finger from each hand into a running gel box.

Cell Culture: Finding New and Interesting Ways to Kill Cells!

Enzymes are things invented by biologists to explain things which
otherwise require harder thinking. --Jerome Lettvin

Receptor tyrosine kinase? But I...

Damn it, the laws of physics do @i(not) apply to this lab!

The concentration of water in water is 55.6 M.

Under the most carefully controlled conditions of temperature, density and
pressure, the organism will do what it damn well pleases.

If meiosis is like a square dance,
a phage cross is a slam dance in a mosh pit.

Oh my gosh, it's a broken chromosome!

"This is to test if the allele is dominant, because complementation tests
can only be run on submissive.. er, recessive alleles."

And then I do something extremely rude to these cells...

...enough electrophoresis machines to analyze a Bordeaux bouillabaisse.

Your protein has NOT denatured,
it is simply structurally ambivalent.

Your DNA has NOT degraded,
it is entropically exhuberant.

Your enzyme is NOT aggregated,
it is monomerically challenged.

Your peptide has NOT precipitated on the column,
it is merely elution reticent.

Your column resin is NOT compacting,
it is being spatially frugal.

Your BamHI does NOT have star activity,
it is simply expressing its individuality.

Your PCR products are NOT all mutant,
they are just indulging in unscheduled evolution.

Your tissue culture is NOT contaminated,
it is simply sharing living quarters.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that a polyamorous, goth-club
going, gay/bi friend having, woman with long hair who went to school in
Cambridge is PROBABLY nonconservative..." --boots

"A good tongue is better than a good handshake." --Boots

"I feel naked. Where are the handcuffs?" --Karen

"O Goddess of the moon, who has really bad taste, may your tacky
green plastic jade opulence shine upon us. What should my friend do?
...She says you should wear polyester..." --Boots

And I gave her the "Yes dear, and then what did the
little green aliens do?" look...

"Sexual arousal is no excuse for bad grammar!" --Karen

"His kiss is lukewarm flat soda in a world of champagne..." --karen

"There's no such thing as a 'I need to put
a shotglass in my cleavage' pout." --allegra

"I feel like the schoolmistress of Satan." --allegra

my hands tired, my heart aches
i'm half a world away

"Humans react to new experiences in one of four ways:
'Ah-hah!', 'Ho-hum', 'Oy vey!' or 'Yum Yum!'.
All else is mere elaboration." -- David Brin

And the geek shall inherit the earth...

These are my friends... Why won't they listen?

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think.

I have looked over the rainbow, and I found nothing there...

I have looked under my shadow, and seen a silver light,
that died in the night...

nothing and no one protecting me, a thousand mirrors all reflecting me,
all over the sky... but where am i?

The Transitive Vampire: A Handbook of Grammar for the
Innocent, Eager, and Doomed.

...innocent, eager, and doomed...

If you nuzzle these pages with abandon, writing will lose its terror
and your sentences their disarray.

There were fifty-three lusterless vampires dismantling the schloss.

If I die first, will you tuck me into my casket?

By confessing her culpabilities, she cleared the way for more.

she's the niftier nymph of the forest

We all ended up somewhere with our various uncertain lives flapping
about us in tatters, and our pockets full of foreign coins.

It is he who was dragged in by the cat.

"Fear and Trembling in the Aquarium" is a cantata about
angst in the lower forms of life.

The Stygian String Quartet is a four-headed monster of catgut and
mediocrity that shouldn't be let out of its cage.

She has a propensity for that sort of muddle.

To nuzzle flagpoles is her secret desire.

If this is love, I've made a terrible mistake.

Her irony is getting rusty, and her audience is bored.

She wrapped herself in an enigma:
there was no other way to keep warm.

She couldn't put her best foot forward
as long as it was in her mouth.

My fingers press into the bar, the tendons humming momentarily as if to
something by Stravinsky...

. . . a closeup of the moon . . . the stars bitterly bright . . .
. . . purple cat-slitted eyes . . .

I'll listen to reason when it comes out on CD.

Is that wrong? No, it's just Sondheim...

It's not as if Sondheim will be sitting in
the audience yelling, "Wrong note!"

I have seen you on the edge of dawn, felt you there before you were born,
Balanced your dreams upon the edge of thorns,
But I don't think about you anymore.

I will believe in you, if you still want me to,
Or tell me I'm on my own.

And I'm out here, waiting...
I don't understand what you want me to be.

Is this the answer to our prayers? Is this what God has sent?
Please understand, this isn't what we meant...

And she's never found her answers as she sees the years go by,
But she watches and she wonders with her stone unblinking eyes.

We never fear the night,
we bring our own starlight.

And every prayer we prayed at night
has somehow lost its meaning.

I have held onto your words until I found them only air.

Still I've hung on every word
'til my hands are bleeding...

I swear on tomorrow, if you take this chance,
Our lives are this moment, the music, the dance...

Here in this labyrinth of lost mysteries,
I close my eyes on this night: you're all that I see.

A study made from winter, of summers long ago,
And dreams that used to glitter, safely now hidden under snow.

Mozart and Madness

god is good and god is great
god's a big invertebrate

Turning around, saw you looking at me,
Tears running down from the place where your eyes used to be...

a wild and a wicked youth

A lifetime remains until dawn.

The trees seem to say you'll be passing this way:
In the wink of an eye you'll be gone.

The flames leaping higher, the rope is made fast
Blinded and burning, the first bearing gifts for the last.

Turning around, saw you leaping away,
The rose in your hand caught the sun at the close of the day.

The stars and the shadows each have a share.
I called out your name, but the wind stole my words from the air.

Looking ahead, saw you pale as the sky.
"The circle is closed," I said as I turned and walked by.

He said "God, they're going to bomb us,
from their vicious flying llamas!"

But the peace that reigned in Upper Dreamland
Was badly negated when the giant slugs invaded.

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase
the question?" -- Lily Tomlin

She's sweet and exquisite and about as harmless
as a twenty foot sphere of solid plutonium.

i remember eyes that shined as they looked so hard back into mine

love is never simple with a complicated girl

but there's a sadness hidden in the bizarre:
moonlight and madness, living in a bell jar.

What is the crime in knowing your mind?
Set it free...

when I saw you for the first time, eyes the color of the ocean,
something moved inside of me...

Is this something to believe in?

I hear you through the wire, the words all sound like noise.
What happened to the fire in your voice?

You fly in circles around the dark side of your soul,
While I'm flying in this airplane with no sense of control...

Black sky wraps around us
Like skin it keeps us whole
And are you watching the sky too?

lay me down in the moonlight

Go on, make a play for her now,
While I'm standing here I bleed so slow, you may never know...

I know you're supposed to take life one day at a time --
but lately several days have attacked me at once.

When you live in the shadow of insanity, the appearance of another mind
that thinks and talks as yours does is something close to a blessed event.

Christianity gave Eros poison to drink; he did not die of it, but
degenerated into a vice.

I'd rather that a bigot mistake me for a lesbian than that a lesbian
mistake me for a bigot.

I have the heart of a young girl. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

MIT: Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch'entrate.

"Could it be... Senior House? No, it does not @i(sound)
like Senior House..."

"The love of maidens is, to him, as interesting as the taxes!"
@i("Would that it were! He pays his taxes.")

But the truly happy always seem to have so much on
their minds. The truly happy never seem quite well.

There is a transcendentality of delirium -- an acute accentuation of
supremest ecstasy -- which the earthy might easily mistake for indigestion.

But it is not indigestion -- it is aesthetic transfiguration!

It is a wild, weird, fleshy thing; yet very tender, very
yearning, very precious.

You must lie upon the daisies and discourse in novel phrases,
Of your complicated state of mind...

Firstly, what on earth is this love that upsets everybody;
and, secondly, how is it to be distinguished from insanity?

We strive to enhance shareholder value and increase market penetration
in the field of retail sorcery through the use of effective marketing,
customer quality assurance, and frequent demonic posession.

If long and deep-drawn sighs I chance to utter,
Oh, heed them not, their cause must ne'er be known!

Time was when Love and I were well acquainted.

If you ask the special function of our never-ceasing motion,
We reply, without compunction, that we haven't any notion!

Sir, you are England's Lord High Chancellor, but are you Chancellor of birds
and trees, King of the winds and Prince of thunderclouds?

Your badinage so airy, your manner arbitrary,
Are out of place, when face to face,
With an influential Fairy.

We never knew we were talking to an influential Fairy!

Our wrath, when gentlemen offend us, is tremendous!

They meet, who underrate our calling, doom appalling!

One Latin word, one Greek remark, and one that's French.

I've a great respect for brains -- I often wish I had some myself...

We know it's weakness, but the weakness is so strong!

But the darkness has passed, and it's daylight at last,
and the night has been long...

In point of fact, I had been personally acquainted
with myself for some years.

So he decreed, in words succinct, that all who flirted, leered or winked,
(Unless connubially linked), should forthwith be beheaded.

I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.

I've got a little list...

He's the gentleman who used to play so beautifully on the--on the--
@i(On the Marine Parade.)
Yes, I think that was the name of the instrument.

They are not young ladies, they are young persons.

Modified rapture!

Now then, what is it? Can't you see I'm soliloquizing?
You have interrupted an apostrophe, sir!

To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother.

Thank you -- it's simple torture!

I mean to begin with a guinea pig, and work my way through the
animal kingdom till I come to a Second Trombone.

On a cloth untrue, with a twisted cue, and elliptical billiard balls!

But I have a left shoulder-blade that is a miracle of loveliness.
People come miles to see it. And my right elbow has a fascination
that few can resist...

Something lingering, with boiling oil in it, I fancy. Something of that sort.
I think boiling oil occurs in it, but I'm not sure. I know it's something
humorous, but lingering, with either boiling oil or melted lead.

"From seventeen to forty-nine are considered years of indiscretion."

I don't want any lunch!

Happy, undeserving A!

I am an acquired taste--only the educated palate can
appreciate me. I was educating his palate when he left me.

And you won't hate me because I'm just a little teeny
weeny wee bit bloodthirsty, will you?

Yes, in spite of all my meekness,
If I have a little weakness,
It's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts!

Oh, think how much more brilliant this dialogue would have been,
if we had been accustomed to exercise our reflective powers!

They say that in England the conversation of the very meanest
is a coruscation of impromptu epigram!

Lalabalele talala! Callabale lalabalica falahle!

If were not a little mad and generally silly,
I should give you my advice upon the subject, willy-nilly;

it is no light boon to die swiftly and
surely at a given hour and in a given fashion!

Truth to tell, I would gladly have my life; but if that may
not be, I have the next best thing to it, which is death.

Thou art a most light-hearted and delightful companion, Master Wilfred.
Thine anecdotes of the torture-chamber are the prettiest hearing.

I have been woo'd boldly, timidly, tearfully, shyly -- by direct assault,
by suggestion, by implication, by inference, and by innuendo.

What a helpless ninny is a love-sick man! He is but as a lute in a
woman's hands-- she plays upon him whatever tune she will.

"He was to have died, and he did not die? The scoundrel! The perjured,
traitorous villain! Thou shouldst have insisted on his dying first,
to make sure!"

Tush, man, thou knowest not how to woo. 'Tis not to be done with
time-worn jests and thread-bare sophistries; 'Tis an art in itself,
and must be studied gravely and conscientiously.

He must learn that the thrill of a touch
May mean little, or nothing, or much.

And a glance of despair is no guide -- It may have its ridiculous side;
It may draw you a tear, or a box on the ear;
You can never be sure till you've tried!

boldly blushing, bravely coy

Go, radish, get you hence, to your cabbage with a celery
This is the kumquat quince of dill-endived asparagus!

We soldiers all are queens, we dress in kinky leather,
Upon the battle scene, we run away together...

But who is this, whose god-like grace
Proclaims he comes from outer space?

"Away, away, dill-flavored one!"

"Hark! What was that sir?"
@i("Why an octopus, fired by a dwarf, unless I'm much mistaken.")

(At this point, a mezzo-soprano will wander onto the stage and have a nervous
breakdown. Pay her no never-mind. Those who have been in musical theater for
some time realize that this is not an unusual occurrence.)

I am a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from humans.

I'm pondering the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?"

"Welcome to Pacific Tech: smart people on ice!"

"Welcome to MIT: smart people on ice!"

Up the voltage.

Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort-of sun-god
robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and
throwing little pickles at you?

Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?

"You still run?" @i("Only when chased.")

Ice is nice!

Twenty points higher than me, thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?

Would you classify that as a launch problem or a design problem?

It should've gone much further, much faster.

Because, if I wear it anywhere else, it chafes.

You know you're not supposed to park that thing on campus!

...first let me take this opportunity to complement you on your fashion
sense, particularly your slippers.

All science, no philosophy...

Earlier today, it ate itself.

It's just an infantile response to authority.

I'm kidding: it's yet another in a long series of diversions
in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Why is that toy on your head?

Damnit, don't touch other people's things.

"You know, when I first brought you into this school I thought you'd
become another Einstein. And you were well on your way. And then..."
@i("I got a haircut.")

It worked! Now if we can just keep it from exploding!

All my filth is in alphabetical order. This, for example,
was under 'H' for 'Toy'.

It's a moral imperative.

"I want to see more of you around the lab."
@i("Fine. I'll gain weight.")

Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself?

The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the
change in my pockets. I've got it! Nudity!

"Tell me, what is Einstein really like?" @i("Dead.")

This? This is ice. This is what happens to water
when it gets too cold.

If you think that by threatening me you can get me to do what you want...
Well, that's where you're right.

...and I am only saying that because I care -- there's a lot of
decaffinated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.

So, if there's anything I can do for you,
or, more to the point, to you...

A girl's gotta have her standards...

"Why does he keep going into our closet?"
@i("Why do you keep going into our closet?")
"To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there!"

"...take very good care of this young man. He's one of the ten
finest minds in the country." @i("Someday I hope to be two of them.")

Flowers, all my life only flowers,
crime after crime.

Goodbye Princeton, goodbye CERN...
He's gone to Texas, to watch the holy fire burn...

Late at night, with no one else around,
He sits there staring at the atoms bouncing 'round...

Better put on your special dress, better throw kisses to the rest,
And if those kisses fail to thrill, maybe your famous chatter will...

Will stars come out and sing for you at night,
When all the world's in love with you?

Better sit down and rest a while, better paste on that pretty smile,
And if that pretty smile won't stay, powder and lipstick save the day...

Oh lonely Romeo, dark sorrow steals the day.
Write yourself away...

Rare radiant soul, she shall be nameless here forevermore.

Long years ago together in a kingdom by the sea:
I was a child, she was a child, the wind came chilling killing by the sea.

Sing to Neptune.

Across the water, green and cold,
Miles deep, and ages old.

And not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to be,
Seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me,
Please say honestly you won't give up on me... and I shall believe.

license plate seen on a VW beetle: FEATURE

The difference between reality and fiction is fiction has to make sense.

The few, the proud, the totally insane...

Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

I'm not good, I'm not nice, I'm just right.

I never thought it was necessary to @i(find) God. I knew She was there.

"Your hair is a wonderful cat toy. Especially for cats with opposable thumbs."

"Johanna's butt is not a quantum state."

Incorrigible punster
Please do not incorrige.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it.

Wreaking havoc since 1977

Avoid needless embarassment. Practice the correct pronunciation of your
god's name in the privacy of your room before chanting it in public.

Never invoke anything bigger than your head.

Pastel-coloured candles in the shape of cute animals are like
beacons to the Dark Lords.

If you gloat, reveal your plans, and leave the investigators to die slowly,
don't have the audacity to look surprised when they show up to foil you.

Never play strip Tarot.

The Department of Repetitive Redundancy Department makes the
declaration that the declaration that you are silly is silly.

Chaste but seldom caught.

I'm on LSD: Lots of Sleep Deprivation.

Herk and Bare exchanged glances. "Have a glance," said Herk.
"Thank you," said Bare, "Have one of mine."

43rd Law of Computing:
Anything that can go wr
fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped

The world is coming to an end. Please log off.

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Lysistrata had a good idea.

Peace is our profession. War is just a hobby.

"God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and
the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday."

Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts.

"I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle it's
much too confining." -- Lilly Tomlin

I wish you humans would leave me alone.

"All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that keeps us sane."

"You are absolutely impossible!" "No, Ma'am. Just highly improbable."

A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist!"
"Excellent," replied the universe,
"I've been looking for someone to take care of my cats."

And Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happy ever after.

I still miss my boyfriend... but my aim is improving!

"Never go out with an MIT student; they are horrible dates. More than any
other college men, they are only after one thing: Sleep."

Come away O human child, to the waters and the wild,
With a faery hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

But the sea is wide, and I can't swim over
Neither I have wings to fly.

And if I was with my love, I'd live forever...

Beloved, gaze in thine own heart;
The holy tree is growing there.

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system...

Don't tell me not to burn the candle at both ends,
tell me where I can get more wax!

Once upon a time, I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart.
Nothing I can do: total eclipse of the heart.

It's a marvelous night for a moondance,
With the stars up above in your eyes.

Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love?

I'm being followed by a moonshadow...

Caffeine-ridden angst is @i(not) your friend.

The best way to accelerate a Mac? At 9.8 m/s^2...

Engineering is the art of modeling materials we do not wholly understand, into
shapes we cannot precisely analyze so as to withstand forces we cannot
properly assess, in such a way that the public has no reason to suspect the
extent of our ignorance.

The whole wood is full of @i(her) spies.
Even some of the trees are on her side.

it can't rain all the time.

"Clothes maketh the man. Naked people have
little or no say in society." --Mark Twain

Proletarian revolutions are notably ineffective
when the ruling class is composed of gods.

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Anything that is good and useful is in some way connected to chocolate.

We are everywhere.

Few things are as ego-boosting as being kicked out of an
anarchy convention for unruly behaviour.

I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.

That which does not kill me had better be able to run pretty damned fast.

Willing to be a backrub victim.

Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Cats know your every thought.
They don't care, but they know.

What part of meow don't you understand?

Something Wiccan this way comes.

"All the network's but a stage, and the users, merely players..."

The Incurable Weirdness Poster Child

Actually, most women look pale and ghastly when concealing
a chilly dagger in their bosoms.

I turn away with fright and horror from the lamentable evil
of functions which do not have derivatives.

She's a virgin child with deviant dreams.

People who emit Cherenkov radiation make me nervous.

If there is anyone I have not offended, I deeply apologise. --Brahms

Next week there can't be any crisis.
My schedule is already full. -Henry Kissinger

Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large.

0x5 Thou shalt not decrease entropy.

0x6 Thou shalt not connect PWR to GND.

0x8 Thou shalt not exceed the speed of light.

0x9 Keep holy the month of IAP for it is a time of rest.

0xB Thou shalt not sleep.
0xC Thou shalt consume caffeine.

0xD Thou shalt not take pass/fail in vain.

0xF Thou shalt not divide by zero.

No picture, no picture, no picture... Oh shit.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

...and don't be afraid of harmony. Harmony is any note
your neighbor isn't singing...

stark raving sane

I can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and I can do you blood and
rhetoric without the love, and I can do you all three, concurrent or consecutive,
but I can't do you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory.

"You've reduced a second order equation you can't solve to a first order
equation you can't solve. And that's called progress."

"If you hold x constant, and you let the others run wild and amok..."

"Usually the physicists don't get it quite right."

"That was a horrible misconception...and your misconception is
even more horrible."

"Physicists rather pervert this. They just try to be maximally
confusing. Of course, they say the same thing about mathematicians."

You can tell I'm tired when I start spooking in speanerisms... --

We worship dreamy languid Goddesses of essential chocolate.

elaborate symphony
language of winter's beauty

"Elves in theory might be visible to the naked eye, though scientists know of
no eyewitness reports to date." --The New York Times, December 12, 1995

Dr. Inan of Stanford said Elves and their cousins had to be understood
in a planetary context. --The New York Times, December 12, 1995

The discovery of Elves is rich in serendipity and illustrates the potential
importance of undirected research. --The New York Times, December 12, 1995

"One question is whether Elves might affect global weather."
--The New York Times, December 12, 1995

"Over the summer, Japanese photometers especially configured to detect Elves
were placed atop Yucca Ridge and manned by a team of Stanford and Tohoku
scientists." --The New York Times, December 12, 1995

In a scientific coup, the photometers detected dozens of Elves and helped
video cameras capture many images of the fiery disks, which loomed like alien
interlopers in the sky. --The New York Times, December 12, 1995

"Elves are new, mysterious, far away, and perhaps green."
--The New York Times, December 12, 1995

"It's not denial. I'm just very selective about what I accept as reality." -- Calvin

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere
in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

"I don't need to compromise on my principles, because they don't
have any bearing on what happens to me anyways!" --Calvin

"Icky" is not one of those objective words...

Imports: It is impossible to import things into an infinite area, there being
no outside to import things in from. Exports: None (see @i(Imports)).

The Fuorlornis Fire Dragons were revered throughout the
lands of Brequinda for their savage beauty, their noble ways,
and their habit of biting people who didn't revere them.

There is, for some unfathomed reason, something almost unbearably sexy about
having huge, fire-breathing magical dragons flying low about the sky on moonlit
nights which were already dangerously on the sweet and fragrant side.

In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry
and been widely regarded as a bad move.

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

"I'm not panicking!" "Yes you are."
"All right, so I'm panicking, what else is there to do?"

Their songs are on the whole very simple, and mostly follow the familiar
theme of boy-being meets girl-being beneath a silvery moon, which then
explodes for no adequately explored reason.

"I hitched a lift on a flying saucer. With a degree in math and another in
astrophysics, what else was there to do? It was either that or the
dole queue again on Monday."

We are now cruising at a level of two to the power of twenty-five thousand to
one against and falling, and we will be restoring normality just soon as we
are sure what is normal anyway.

Just after he was awarded the Galactic Institute's Prize for Extreme
Cleverness he got lynched by a rampaging mob of respectable physicists who
had finally realized the one thing they really couldn't stand
was a smart-ass.

The dew has clearly fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning.

Perhaps it was that he smiled slightly too broadly and gave people the
unnerving impression that he was about to go for their neck...

Right planet, wrong universe.

One of the extraordinary things about life is the sort of places it's
prepared to put up with living.

Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something
else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order though.

One of the problems has to do with the speed of light, and the difficulties
involved in trying to exceed it. You can't.

"I am the Devil Dragon of the Dark! The Destroyer from the Depths! The Duke
of Destruction and Deathmonger Diabolical! I am the Dread Demon of Damnation,
Danger and Death!" @i("Oh great... We're not even through the D's yet...")

Dire creatures from the Netherhells should always be faced directly,
unless it is possible to face them some other way,
say from behind a bush, in perfect safety.

Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches/sec^2.

All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power...

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!

Blood is thicker than water. And much tastier.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for
you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

"God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys
God. Man creates dinosaurs."
"Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the Earth :)"

Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over,
trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come. -- Nietschze

Without music, life would be a mistake. -- Nietschze

Into the light of the dark black night.

She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand like a lizard on a window pane.

The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors on his hobnail boots.

Dear Prudence... Won't you come out to play?

Looking through a glass onion...

I look at the world and I notice it's turning.

I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in and stops my mind from wandering...

Picture yourself on a train in a station
With plasticine porters in looking glass ties

Picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.

Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.

A desire to have all the fun is nine-tenths the law of chivalry.

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one
goes along... -Samuel Butler

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with
the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. -Samuel Butler

if you're not part of the solution,
you're part of the precipitate.

mostly harmless

Eat your cereal with a fork and do your homework in the dark.

Life is just a chair of bowlies.

experience teaches me that silence terrifies people the most

the Great books have all been written. the Great sayings have all been said.

i would not want to be bach.mozart.tolstoy.joe hill.
gertrude stein or james dean/they are all dead.

all those angels with their wings glued on

Angels and ministers of grace defend us!

...while memory holds a seat in this distracted globe

Words, words, words...

Though this be madness, yet there is method in it.

I could be bounded in a nut-shell, and count myself a
king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.

this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging
firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears
no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.

O, there has been much throwing about of brains.

I am but mad north-north-west:
when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.

To be, or not to be, that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?

To sleep, perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub.
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.

O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!

When churchyards yawn, and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood.

O heavens! is it possible a young maid's wits
Should be as mortal as an old man's life?

There's rosemary, that's for remembrance; pray you, love,
remember: and there is pansies, that's for thoughts.

A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.

all my words come back to me, in shades of mediocrity

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme...

Still crazy after all these years.

hello darkness, my old friend

the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls

We note our place with bookmarkers that measure what we've lost.

Lost in the dangling conversation and the superficial sighs,
the borders of our lives.

Through the corridors of sleep, past the shadows dark and deep
My mind dances and leaps in confusion.

I don't know what is real, I can't touch what I feel
And I hide behind the shield of my illusions.

The mirror on my wall casts an image dark and small
But I'm not sure at all it's my reflection.

I am blinded by the light of God and truth and right
And I wander in the night without direction.

It's no matter if you're born to play the King or pawn
For the line is thinly drawn 'tween joy and sorrow...

So my fantasy becomes reality,
And I must be what I must be and face tomorrow.

We speak of things that matter, with words that must be said.

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever.

Busy old fool, unruly Sun, why dost thou thus
Through windows and curtains, call on us?

foster child of silence and slow time

"It isn't gloomy, it's profound."

"She'd strike you as unenlightened."
@i("No, I'd strike her first.")

I never dreamed that I could live in
So completely demented, contented, a fashion...

Perpetual sunset is rather an unsettling thing.

The hands on the clock turn
But don't sing a nocturne just yet...

Keeping control while falling apart...

Perpetual anticipation is good for the soul
but it's bad for the heart.

It's very good for morals, but bad for morale...

Perpetual anticipation's a delicate art.
Keeping control while falling apart...

Now there are two possibilities: i
a) I could ravish her, b) I could nap...

Now with my mental facilities partly muddied and ready to snap...

As I've often stated
It's intolerable being tolerated.

You'll endure being pure.

Doesn't anything begin?

If I were perfect for you, wouldn't you tire of me... soon?


Our inventions were unique, remember? Darling...
I was limping for a week, you caught the flu...

My happiest mistake, the ache of my life.

Too many people muddle sex with mere desire,
And when emotion intervenes, the nets descend.

Who was, to put it mildly, peculiar...

De Maupasant's candor would cause her dismay. The Brontes are
grander, but not very gay. Her taste is much blander, I'm sorry to
say. But is Hans Christian Anderson ever risque?

I have always associated you -- very happily -- with chaos.

But if we had to do without them,
The world would be a poorer, if purer, place...

Ev'ry move and ev'ry breath, and you hardly feel a thing,
Brings a perfect little death...

He smiles sweetly, strokes my hair, says he misses me...
I would murder him right there: but first I'd die...

I'm before him on my knees, and he kisses me...
He assumes I'll lose my reason, and I do...

Ev'ry day a little death, on the lips and in the eyes.
In the murmurs, in the pauses, in the gestures, in the sighs...

"A weekend in the country!" @i("We're invited?") "What a horrible plot!
A weekend in the country!" @i("I'm excited.") "No you're not!"

The evening air doesn't feel quite right,
In the not-quite-glare of the not-quite-night.

If she'd only been perfectly awful, it would have been

Well the woman was perfection, to my deepest dismay.
No, not quite perfection I'm sorry to say.
If the woman was perfection, she would @i(go away)...

If she'd only been vicious, if she'd acted abused.
Or a bit too delicious, or even just slightly confused.

If she had only been fearful, or married, or tearful, or @i(dead)!
It would have been wonderful...

Isn't it rich? Aren't we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground, you in mid-air...

...and a girl ought to celebrate what passes by...

Playeth thou nice and avoid the reading of Vogon poetry; it is a
vexation to the soul.

Freakest thou not yon mundanes overmuch for, verily, they whine
piteously and wax sorely pissed.

Steak and lobster? But I...

Monotheism is a gift from the gods.

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa. They're coming to
take me away, ho ho, he he, ha ha, to the happy home with trees
and flowers and chirping birds...

And I was standing on the side of the road, rain falling on my shoes.

tangled up in blue

if looks could kill they probably will

"Kids, don't play with evil incarnate. Somebody always ends up
getting hurt..."

Love is chemistry, sex is physics... but kinky takes engineering!

To squeeze the universe into a ball,
To roll it towards some overwhelming question.

I have measured out my life in coffee spoons.

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

I have heard the mermaids singing each to each...

...Till human voices wake us and we drown...

O fortuna! Velut luna, statu variabilis...

Semper crescis, aut decrescis, vita detestabilis...

"If he can't be dragged, he can always be drugged!"

All mimsy were the borogoves
And mome raths outgrabe.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

blessed be the vital song that makes creation dance.

blessed is the murmuring dark, blessed is the light to the eyes.

blessed be the grace that crowns the sky with stars

When She danced on the water and the wind was Her horn,
The Lady danced and a universe was born.

I dance in the circle and the flames leap on high,
I dance in the fire and I never, never die.

The snow is slowly melting and the clouds bring the rain.
The Lady wakes, for the spring has come again.

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter.

The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat.

"I am perpetually voyaging back to the Source. You see, I am a Source-rer."

Logic only gives a man what he needs. Magic gives him what he wants.

...and also a book called "Ninety-two Entirely Evil Things To Do".

Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing
in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse.

A fugitive and lurid gleam
Obliquely gilds the gliding stream.

"Who are @i(You)?" said the Caterpillar.

"For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet."

"But I don't want to go among mad people!" said Alice.
"Oh you can't help that," said the Cat, "We're all mad here."

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, I don't wonder what you are.
You're the cooling down of gases, forming into solid masses.

The Cat vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and
ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it was gone.

"Well, I've often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat!
It's the most curious thing I ever saw in all my life!"

I am garlic personified.

I am garlic personified. Garlic and extra virgin olive oil.
Garlic is garlic. You don't want it in ice cream, but you
definitely want it when there are vampires around.

An ounce of breast milk is even more potent than the finest tequila.

venus envy

...still orbiting...

lately, i'm into circuitry
what it means to be
made of you, but not enough for you

you're the fiercest calm i've been in

the soul-quake happened here
in a glass world, particle by particle
she slowly changes

silicon party barbies to the left and
Joan of Arcs to the right

I met a drag king called venus
she had a velvet hologram, she said
"my husband ran off with my shaman,
but they love me as I am"

so tied up i don't know
how she came

ballerinas that just wander around endlessly shoeless

buttercup bone orchard

pandora's aquarium

i am not asking you to believe in me

line me up in single file with all your grievances

surrender then start your engines

you'll know quite soon what my mistake was

I hear she still grants forgiveness
although I willingly forgot her

you say I guess I'm an underwater thing

you say I guess I'm an underwater thing
so I guess I can't take it personally

i'm liquid running
there's a sea secret in me

calling for my soul at the corners of the world

you know this is madness
a lilac mess in your prom dress

he moved like the sunset

you've got to know when it's time to turn the page
when you're only wet because of the rain

i loved his secret places but i can't go anymore

we scream in cathedrals
why can't it be beautiful?

just say yes, you little arsonist

she's afraid of the light in the dark

she's convinced she could hold back a glacier

she never let on how insane it was

lollipop gestapo

trusting my soul to the ice cream assassin

i have to learn to let you crash down

you're your favorite stranger

your exodus laughing

if you want me to i could lie to you

you sign Prince of Darkness
try Squire of Dimness
please don't help me with this

in the garden i did no crime

so don't give me respect
don't give me a piece of your preciousness

for you i can be cruel
i don't know why

why can't my balloon stay up
in a perfectly windy sky?

celebrate your top ten in the charts of pain

lover brother bougenvilla
my vine twists around your need

even the rain is sharp like today
as you shock me sane

somewhere where the orchids grow

maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen

god knows i know i've thrown away those graces

She's been everybody else's girl, maybe one day she'll be her own...

falling down as the winter takes one more cherry tree

i get a little warm in my heart when i think of winter

Excuse me but can I be you for a while?

I got 25 bucks and cracker, do you think it's enough?

years go by will I still be waiting
for somebody else to understand

this house is like russia
with eyes cold and grey

you got me moving in a circle
i dyed my hair red today

happy for you and i am
sure that i hate you

i just want a little passion
to hold me in the dark

i know i've got some magic
buried deep in my heart

but my priest says, "you ain't saving no souls"

and here i stand with this sword in my hand

you can say it one more time, what you don't like

you can say it one more time, what you don't like
let me hear it one more time
then have a seat while i take to the sky

have a seat while i take to the sky

my heart is like the ocean
it gets in the way

so close to touching freedom

so close to touching freedom
then i hear the guards call my name

if you don't like me just a little
why do you hang around?

I love to turn my little blue world upside down.

I say the world is sick, you say
Tell me what that makes us darlin'...

i found the secret to life
i'm ok when everything is not ok...

they've got the earth in a sling, the world on her knees
they've ever got your zipper between their teeth

And if I die today I'll be the Happy Phantom.

boys on my left side, boys on my right side...

I'm still the angel to a girl who hates to sin.

Will I pay for who I've been?

Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back?

Will you still call for me when she falls asleep,
Or do we soon forget the things we cannot see?

And I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on.

"In a sense," he said, "you're alone here.
So if you jump you'd best jump far."

We danced in graveyards with vampires till dawn.

Black winged roses that safely changed their color.

These precious things... Let them bleed.
Let them wash away...

just 'cuz you can make me cum
doesn't make you jesus

I've got the anti-Christ in the kitchen yelling at me again...

you think there's a heaven where some screams have gone

...and laugh as violins fill with water...

a few witches burning gets a little toasty here

God, sometimes you just don't come through
Do you need a woman to look after you?

he says that behind my eyes I'm hiding
and he tells me I pushed him away
that my heart's been hard to find

thought I'd make friends with time
thought we'd be flying
maybe not this time

i'm standing naked before you
don't you want more than my sex?
i can scream as loud as your last one
but I can't claim innocence

circus girl without a safety net

green limousine for the redhead dancing girl

i walked into your dream
and now i've forgotten how to dream my own dream

dripping with blood and with time and with your advice
poison me against the moon

all the world just stopped now
so you say you don't wanna stay together anymore

maybe I ain't used to maybes
smashing in a cold room cutting my hands up
every time I touch you

give me life
give me pain
give me myself again

I believe in peace, Bitch.

well I think the Good Book is missing some pages

Oh no, it can't be the weather...

all the angels, all the wizards black and white
are lighting candles in our hands

Just before our love got lost you said, "I'm as constant as the northern star."
And I said, "Constantly in the darkness, where's that at?"

in my blood like holy wine you taste so bitter and so sweet

and all the dreams we held so close
seem to go up in smoke

go to him, stay with him, but be prepared to bleed...

even the wind cries your name

i tell you that i'll always want you near
you say that things change...

I keep your picture upon the wall,
It hides a nasty stain still lying there.

over the bridge we go
looking for love

one day you see a strange little girl look at you
one day you see a strange little girl feeling blue

strange little girl

Why @i(is) a raven like a writing desk?

A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

She danced around the funeral pyre.... playing her violin!

I have a cause: it's Smut. I'm for it.

If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind...

It's National Everyone-smile-at-one-another-hood week.

We've got the missiles, peace to determine...

...sing rickity-tickity-tin...

It's been lovely but I have to scream now.

The Alice Syndrome: I give myself very good advice,
but I very seldom follow it...

Sometimes I think intelligence is inversely related to common sense.

don't grab / don't clutch / don't hope for too much
don't breathe / don't achieve / don't grieve without leave

she's gonna make you cry, she's gonna make you whisper and moan
but when you're dry, she draws water from a stone

dressed up like a car crash, the wheels are turning but you're upside down
you say when he hits you, you don't mind
because when he hurts you, you feel alive

and if you look, you look through me, and if you talk it's not to me
and when I touch you, you don't feel a thing

and if you listen I can't call
and if you jump, you just might fall
and if you shout I'll only hear you

some days take less, but most days take more
some slip through your fingers and onto the floor

get it right, there's no blood thicker than ink
hear what I say, nothing's simple as you think

Love is clockworks and cold steel.

Love is blindness, I don't want to see
Won't you wrap the night around me?

You're dangerous because you're honest
You're dangerous because you don't know what you want...

you say in love there are no rules

a passionate flame, it knows me by name

Will it make it easier on you
Now you got someone to blame?

Except you... You were talking about the end of the world...

In my dream I was drowning my sorrows,
But my sorrows they learned to swim...

my heart is where it's always been
my head is somewhere in between

i kissed your lips and broke your heart

I disappeared in you
You disappeared from me
I gave you everything you ever wanted
It wasn't what you wanted

It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky,
It's no secret that our world is in darkness tonight.

They say the sun is sometimes eclipsed by a moon,
You know I don't see you when she walks in the room.

It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help,
It's no secret that a liar won't believe anyone else.

It's no secret that a conscience can sometimes be a pest,
It's no secret ambition bites the nails of success.

Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief,
All kill their inspiration and sing about the grief.

You miss too much these days if you stop to think.

a place where the wind calls your name

How can I keep holding on to what you've got
When all you've got is hurt?

...a dangerous idea that almost makes sense...

I must be an acrobat... to talk like this, and act like that...

I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room...

I will stand arms outstreched, pretend I'm free to roam...

I will stand arms outstreched, pretend I'm free to roam,
I will make my way through one more day in hell...

...the lunatic is on the grass...

breathe, breathe in the air
don't be afraid to care

leave, but don't leave me

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day.

You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'till I'm sane

You lock the door and throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.

goodbye blue sky

I've got a little black book with my poems in...

If you want to find out what's behind these cold eyes,
you'll just have to claw your way through this disguise.

open your heart, i'm coming home...

If you should go skating on the thin ice of modern life,
dragging behind you the silent reproach of a million tear-stained eyes,
don't be surprised when a crack in the ice appears under your feet.

Did you ever wonder why we had to run for shelter
when the promise of a brave new world unfurled beneath the clear blue sky?

The flames are all long gone, but the pain lingers on.

I have seen the writing on the wall.
Don't think I need anything at all.

Hey you, out there in the cold, getting lonely, getting old,
Can you feel me?

Hey you, standing in the aisle, with itchy feet and fading smiles,
Can you feel me?

I got electric light, and I got second sight.
Got amazing powers of observation.

The child is grown, the dream is gone.

There must be some mistake, I never meant to let them take away my soul.

Hey you, don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.

I feel cold as a razor blade.

I got wild, staring eyes, and I got a strong urge to fly,
but I got nowhere to fly to.

There is no pain, you are receding.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.

You cannot reach me now, no matter how you try.
Goodbye cruel world, it's over -- walk on by.

In perfect isolation, here behind my wall...

What shall we use to fill the empty spaces where we used to talk?

How shall I fill the final places? How shall I complete the wall?

But it was only fantasy. The wall was too high, as you can see.

You slip out of your depth and out of your mind,
with your fear flowing out behind you as you claw the thin ice.

To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow.

There must have been a door there in the wall. For when I came in...

They must have taken my marbles away.

Would you like to learn to fly? -- Would you?
Would you like to see me try?

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon

by the cold and religious we were taken in hand
shown how to feel good and told to feel bad

you can hide, hide, hide... behind paranoid eyes

can't keep my eyes from the circling sky
tounge-tied & twisted just an earthbound misfit, i...

a momentary lapse of reason

was it love or the idea of being in love?

i have always been here. i have always looked out from behind these eyes.

...do i have to say the words?

Do not taunt happy fun ______


forsake the mundane for some instability

i read the book
i thought that it meant me

i'm tied to him
like sea to sky
and i'm torn

under certain conditions this could be terrifying

and you might like to linger but you're feeling kinetic

...your feverish vision of exquisite misery...

in the still night, i kissed a fragment of your dream...

When the dragons grow too mighty to slay with pen or sword,
I grow weary of the battle and the storm I walk toward.

When life becomes so barren and as cold as winter skies,
There's a beacon in the darkness, in a distant pair of eyes.

In vain to search for order,
In vain to search for truth.

Static on your frequency, electrical storm in your veins:
Raging at unreachable glory, straining at invisible chains.

All my nerves are naked wires, tender to the touch.
Sometimes super-sensitive, but who can care too much?

Scars of pleasure, scars of pain.
Atmospheric changes make them sensitive again.

I had a dream of a winter garden and a midnight rendezvous.
Silver, blue, and frozen silence: what a fool I was for you.

Goddess in my garden, sister in my soul;
Angel in my armor, actress in my role.

Daughter of a demon-lover, Empress of the hidden face;
Priestess of the pagan mother, ancient queen of inner space.

Spirit in my psyche, double in my role;
Alter in my image, struggle for control.

Mistress of the dark unconscious, mermaid of the lunar sea;
Daughter of the great enchantress, sister to the boy inside of me.

In the silence between whisper and shout,
the space between wonder and doubt...

i'm young enough to remember the future...

Those bonfire lights in the mirror of sky,
the space between wonder and why...

There is a fine line between love and illusion...

Reborn and baptized in a moment of grace.

On the edge of sleep I was drifting for half the night.

Wilderness of mirrors
World of polished steel

It is the fire that lights itself,
but it burns with a restless flame.

Pure as a lover's desire -- Evil as a murderer's dream.

You and I, we are strangers by one chromosome.

Love is born with lightning bolts, electro-magnetic force.
Burning skin and fireworks, a storm on a raging course.

Like a force of nature, love can
fade with the stars at dawn.

Sometimes it takes all your strength
just to keep holding on.

One night we are bathed in light,
one day carried away in storms.

My precious sense of rightness is sometimes so naive.

Why does she have to defend her feelings inside? Why pretend?

She's not had a life, a life of near misses
Now all that she wants is three little wishes...

Now all that she wants is three little wishes...

There'll be times when my crimes will seem almost unforgiveable
I give in to sin, because you have to make this life livable

I give in to sin, because I like to practice what I preach...

You help her forget
The world outside
You're not part of it yet.

tonight i'm in the hands of fate
i hand myself over on a plate

Do you understand? Do you know what she means?
As time goes by, and when you've seen what she's seen... You will.

strange love, strange highs and strange lows...

I'm not trying to tell you anything you
didn't know when you woke up today...

Do you know what it means to be left this way?
When everyone's gone, and the feelings they stay...

she could escape there
just for a while

reach out your hands and accept my love
we have waited for too long, enough is enough.

I'm shying from the light, I've always loved the night,
And now you offer me eternal darkness...

lead me into your darkness
when this world is trying its hardest to leave me unimpressed...

I think that God's got a sick sense of humor.

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors,
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor.
And when I die, I expect to find him laughing...

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors,
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor.

when the colors move apart and i wonder if you want to stay.

she remembered all the shadows in the dark.

pain has an element of blank.

i like a look of agony
because i know it's true

i felt a funeral in my brain
the mourners to and fro

faith is a fine invention when gentlemen can see
but microscopes are prudent, in an emergency. -- e. dickinson

Reality is for people without imaginations.

Question reality.

I wouldn't act normal even if i knew what it was.

Sometimes the dragon wins.

You are acting like a calm, rational person. This scares me.

Have a day.

2 + 2 equals 5 for sufficiently large values of 2.

like the outbursting of a trodden star.

and there was something holy in the darkness

My subconscious has a most treacherous imagination.

I didn't mean you. I meant the corpse.

Where's Death and his sweetheart? We want to begin...

"My God!" said the Duke, "You're not going to marry a policewoman?"
"Not quite," said Wimsey, "I intend to marry the prisoner."

A diatonic scale, bah! Thirteen miserable, bourgeois semi-tones, pooh!
To express the infinite complexity of modern emotion, you need a scale of
thirty-two notes to the octave!

You can sense the resolution at the back of all his discords.
Mere harmony in camouflage.

You should hear Vrilovitch's 'Ecstacy on the letter Z.'
That is pure vibration with no antiquated pattern to it.

...found himself involved in a discussion of free love, D.H. Lawrence, the
prurience of prudery and the immoral significance of long skirts.

There's the wicked Lord Peter Wimsey, celebrated for never having spoken a
reasonable word for the last ninety-six years. He was the only aristocrat
who escaped the guillotine in the revolution of 1960.

A person who can believe all the articles of the Christian faith is not going
to boggle over a trifle of adverse evidence.

Purgamentum init, exit purgamentum.

This sentence no verb.

My reality check bounced.

I've finally got a good grip on reality: now I can strangle it!

Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.

Neutrinos have mass? I didn't know they were catholic!

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

There was supposed to be an earth-shattering KABOOM!


Smile, nod, and fuck away...

1,3,7-trimethylxanthine: not just for breakfast anymore.