1.
Nicole was beaten?
No, you've got it all backwards.
I was the victim.
2.
All right, lighten up.
Free speech is protected, but
seldom is perfect.
3.
Free speech ain't perfect.
And some imperfect speech ain't
Free, for taxpayers.
4.
Clinton subpoena'd
As a Whitewater expert.
Paddle, Bill, paddle!
5.
Level with us, Forbes!
A flat tax is no better
Than a lumpy one.
6.
My freedom is lost!
Telecommunication?
Kiss my ass, Clinton!
7.
New telecom bill
ushers in electronic
robber baron age.
8.
Sev'n-year coma ends
"Persistent vegetation"
Ceases to persist!
9.
New Hampshire decides
What U.S. really needs is
A loose Buchanan.
10.
Internet censors?
Our hackers will keep us one
Step ahead of them!
11.
Adolf Buchanan
Rouses jobless, moralists,
Militias, and Klan.
12.
Turn our backs on world,
Keep our jobs and our products?
We'd wither and die.
13.
"Undecideds" cast
their ballots at last minute.
Spontaneity.
14.
Will the new motto
Of the IRA have to
be "Erin go bang"?
15.
Does not "Go Pat Go!"
Seem like the handiwork of
Jolly Roger Ailes?
16.
"President Patrick."
No "people of color" here?
Everyone's turned pale!
17.
Pat crossed a donkey
With an elephant. Result?
"Dr. Death, paging..."
18.
Forbes has wrestlers scared.
If his decline continues,
someone might get shot.
19.
Oy vey, primaries!
Pat Buchanan won the first!
Oh my beeping god!