SPAM Haiku 14501-14600

Move backwards to Numbers 14401-14500.

14501.
Soft like wet cat food
and it's slimy like a fish,
a favorite dish.

--Holly Soanka

14502.
smells like old cat food
soft slimy mushy gooey
good if shared with cats

--Mary Peterson

14503.
mushy, slimy, and gooey
can make you fluey
soft, isn't chewy

--Justin Shirley

14504.
it stinks and it's pink
it tastes worse than you might think
stays good for two weeks

--Grant Ottawey

14505.
stinky, smelly, pink
cat food, juicy, doesn't mold
soft, in a can, puke

--Kristy Huck

14506.
cat-food, jelly, lard
processed meat, by-product stinks
who really eats this?

--Kyle Wells

14507.
smelly slime, dog food
brown, condensed meats, putrid, yuck
sick to my stomach

--Amanda Szeto

14508.
the mystery meat
odds and ends of unknown mold-
ed into a can

--Ian Thompson

14509.
small, square, smelly, pink
immobilized and frozen
"I can't move--help me!"

--Craig Ferguson

14510.
gooey sticky gross
pink gelatin nasty smell
meat-like food for thought

--Angela Buckwalter

14511.
stinky, smelly, puke
cat food, juicy, slimy, pink
fake, high-cost, solid

--Shelley Butche

14512.
smells like wet cat food
very slimy, soft, and gross
I can throw it out

--JD Carey

14513.
out in the open
wishing and hoping it's good
food of the future

--Ian Crandale

14514.
collage of pink death
pseudo meat in a tin can
does not cause longing

--Nick Bell

14515.
shining, wet, and smooth
stinking like a mackerel
my cat can have it

--Jesey Sutton

14516.
Where ist mein cock? God
dam man come take away cock;
now crammed into tin.

--Tha Buzz, buzz@ultrafoetus.freeserve.co.uk

14517.
Somebody get me
Adrenalin! I just swal
lowed dat SPAM. Oh, my!

--Tha Buzz, buzz@ultrafoetus.freeserve.co.uk

14518.
Boom SPAMka! Let your
SPAM grow inside the belly
of your woman. Ooh.

--Tha Buzz, buzz@ultrafoetus.freeserve.co.uk

14519.
Tin is peeled away,
laying wetly on the plate--
it's a blatant SPAM.

--Ian Tate, itate@altamira.com

14520.
my identity
wicked electrodes in me
SPAM repents too late

--Anonymous

14521.
I slice and I slice
Until I can't slice no more
I never liked SPAM

--Julie, bobgurl@chickmail.com

14522.
pink meat and yogurt
mix it up in a blender
tasty SPAM milkshake

--Mr. Mumbles

14523.
ate four cans of SPAM
and now I'm paying for it
painful toilet squats

--Mr. Mumbles

14524.
sordid by-product
makes vegans shiver and gag
but oh it's tasty

--Mr. Mumbles

14525.
one day I ate SPAM
and then put on clean white shorts
vicious pink skidmarks

--Mr. Mumbles

14526.
oh sweet wondrous SPAM
your waiting can implores me
nothing else matters

--Mr. Mumbles

14527.
Dripping SPAM jam drool
Dog rockets thawing......smelling--
Ah, 'tis spring again.

--Toadstool

14528.
Life in the fast lane
SPAM and Instant Cheesy Grits
Tons of zits to pop

--Paco

14529.
Severe death by SPAM
Choking on a slice of fat
Mmmmm, smell rotting flesh

--Alissa

14530.
SPAM greaser on date
She runs her hand through his hair
Now her fingers stink

--Anonymous

14531.
Sweet meaty goodness
Your chunks are beyond compare.
Let me slurp your salt.

--Toby McCrae & Lenore Smaldon

14532.
Holy shit, it's SPAM
Slimy, greasy, almost meat.
What the hell are you?

--Toby McCrae & Lenore Smaldon

14533.
We're not smart like MIT
But SPAM loves us anyway
SPAM is no bigot

--Toby McCrae & Lenore Smaldon

14534.
Eton boys know not
the evil lurking behind
the blue and yellow

--yankal, j.booher@etoncollege.org.uk

14535.
Wearing SPAM is Great
I Want an Entire SPAM Suit
Including SPAM Boots

--Boots, Lord_Boots@hotmail.com

14536.
Eat SPAM all the Time
Because it is not a Crime
Unless You Eat Mine

--Boots, Lord_Boots@hotmail.com

14537.
the god of SPAM says:
"OBEY SPAM OR PAY THE PRICE..."
so i ate some SPAM

--Boots, Lord_Boots@hotmail.com

14538.
SPAM Haiku Archive
Wow, it's big! Yeah, man. Damn big!
Needs a search engine.

--Anonymous

14539.
tainted can of SPAM
you toy with me in anger
I don't much like you

--Big Niaal, niaalsie@hotmail.com

14540.
I can't sleep tonight
Tossing, turning all night long.
Had SPAM for dinner.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

14541.
SPAM apostles meet
Gather to worship tripe god
Is this last supper?

--Anonymous

14542.
cold war weaponry
nukes wished to be this potent
pork death rains from sky

--Anonymous

14543.
"SPAM pot atop maps."
An inane palindrome? Check
out my car's backseat!

--Fozzie

14544.
Palindromes? Mull this
geneticist's opus: "Maps
DNA and SPAM."

--Fozzie

14545.
"What does it feel like?"
I asked. He turned, smiled and said
"Like soft, warm, wet SPAM!"

--Ave, superave@SPAM.SPAM.SPAM.clark.net

14546.
SPAM and cigarettes:
Sweet fragrance of mother's breath.
Baby grows up strong.

--Junkyard God

14547.
Shake the blue can hard.
Giggle as I crack the lid.
Pink bubbles explode.

--Junkyard God

14548.
Birthday party SPAM.
Greasy smears on the balloons.
Echoes of childhood.

--Junkyard God

14549.
Stick SPAM to the wall.
Buy thumb tacks as it dries out.
Sure beats a cork board.

--Junkyard God

14550.
"SPAM-Masters: part 2!"
"You know. With the red-head chick!"
Video clerk sneers.

--Junkyard God

14551.
Disrespectful chef
serves mob boss SPAM alfredo.
Body found floating.

--Junkyard God

14552.
Slick mountain of SPAM.
I slide down its slope with glee.
Next time without pants.

--Junkyard God

14553.
Titanic serves SPAM.
Rose gives Jack one final kiss.
"Get off my raft, bitch!"

--Junkyard God

14554.
On Valentine's day:
Alone with porno and SPAM.
I don't need women.

--Junkyard God

14555.
The lives, loves, hopes, dreams
of a multitude of swine.
Joyful pork meddle!

--Junkyard God

14556.
The gel slorps like a
runny Minnesota nose....
That's where it comes from!

--Junkyard God

14557.
Trailer park maiden
loves romance novels and SPAM.
"God! What is that smell?"

--Junkyard God

14558.
Naive little pigs
scream as they sense blue-canned death.
Ya gotta love 'em.

--Junkyard God

14559.
Hormel had some guests:
Animal rights activists.
"Mom, this SPAM tastes weird."

--Junkyard God

14560.
Yuppie in SPAM aisle:
Eyes glazed mutters, counts fingers.
"That boy has problems."

--Junkyard God

14561.
Beware: processed meats
like SPAM will increase your risk
of colon cancer.

--Fozzie

14562.
States sue, hoping to
recover health costs due to ...
tobacco? No, SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14563.
Oh, SPAM, what are you?
Congealed pig parts in a can.
Now, give me the key.

--Katherine Hooper, kahooper@indiana.edu

14564.
under cold water
lifeless eyes betraying nought
dead as a canned SPAM

--Anthony Hartsell, csponge@home.com

14565.
Entering the house
What is that odor I smell?
Oh!! It's SPAM frying

--Ned Hobgood, nhobgood@ametro.net

14566.
Cold SPAM, chopped, swimming
In mayo on soggy bread.
This sandwich gets tossed.

--Michael Tanouye, taka2000@home.com

14567.
SPAM SPAM pink soft SPAM
The way you excite my tongue
I eat, I live, SPAM

--J. Agee, csia.tiel@juno.com

14568.
Morning Noon and Night,
All I think about is SPAM.
My stomach is full!

--J. Agee, csia.tiel@juno.com

14569.
I said don't do it!
I was compelled, disgusted.
I wrote SPAM haiku.

--Trubador

14570.
I can't believe this....
SPAM haiku? That is stupid.
One taste and I'm hooked

--Trubador

14571.
Hormel kills the Pig
A common man eats the SPAM
A simple process...

--DAB

14572.
SPAM, sweet memory
Nasty childhood dinner treat
Greased them taters good!

--froggy, LisaBuchanan@webtv.net

14573.
Once, at high dessert
my sis and I saw SPAM holes
....made the wine better.

--froggy, LisaBuchanan@webtv.net

14574.
SPAM in chunks with cheese
Potatoes greased with its sweat
Fry it up, yeah babe

--froggy, LisaBuchanan@webtv.net

14575.
Morpheus offered
The red meat, or the blue can
I took the blue can

--Ave, superave@SPAM.clark.net

14576.
What is the SPAM-trix?
Well, it's pink, and soft, and well...
Heck, I just don't know!

--Ave, superave@SPAM.clark.net

14577.
Do you believe that
pigs have anything to do
with SPAM, in this place?

--Ave, superave@SPAM.clark.net

14578.
SPAM is soooo yummy,
My friends all call me SPAMster.
SPAM is soooo way cool.

--SPAMster7

14579.
SPAM or not to SPAM--
That's the question, isn't it?
Shakespeare would kill me.

--Reggie Bignose, eatmySPAM@once.ca

14580.
My-Space-Bar-is-Crap
It-Does-Not-Work-at-all-Now
I'll-Grease-it-with-SPAM

--Boots, Lord_Boots@hotmail.com

14581.
SPAM chunks in bear scat
Fingernails, toe tips, and teeth--
A head with bad hair.

--Toad Carbunkles

14582.
When I eat fried SPAM
Bright lights blind and sirens howl--
Emergency Room.

--Jack The Dripper, Cherrio, Hip Hip!

14583.
Can't start the haiku
with the word SPAM. That would be
unoriginal.

--john wenstrom, wenstrom@aol.com

14584.
Good old chorizo
Made of stuff you'd never think;
Still better than SPAM.

--Tim Bender, nasrouddine@hotmail.com

14585.
Bird was a junkie
Till his dealer cut with SPAM.
Then the jazz great died.

--Tim Bender, nasrouddine@hotmail.com

14586.
Starving in winter?
Try a broiled rat. Better yet,
try SPAM au gratin.

--Jeffery Mason, jhmason@svconsultant.com

14587.
My fly was open
I looked around nervously...
Did she see my SPAM?

--Ave, superave@clark.net

14588.
SHAM, you have done well
United all with poems
On pink food matter

--Alex Sugahara

14589.
Vegetarians,
Hatred of feeling left out,
Pass a can of VAM

--George Solomon, dedhead1@harbornet.com

14590.
Usenet is now full
Of rude SPAM advertising;
Not the place to meat.

--Churd, churd@neo.rr.com

14591.
please don't touch me there
i have SPAM in that region
it helps kill the itch

--gorgonzola the beef, fuzzy92@hotmail.com

14592.
love, a plank of flesh
ears full, nigh unto brimming
how does your dog smell?

--gorgonzola the beef , fuzzy92@hotmail.com

14593.
hip deep and frothing
flesh pink as neon newborn
fertilize my neck

--gorgonzola the beef , fuzzy92@hotmail.com

14594.
Springtime in the can
Summer and winter time too--
SPAM and Tossed Salad.

--Two Fang

14595.
SPAM flaccid am I
The salt petered Peter blues--
A life in the can.

--Two Fang

14596.
Uncommonly bad
But it sticks to your rib bones
And your panty hose

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

14597.
Japanese fish SPAM
For all our great kosher friends
Now quit your carping!

--Manhattan Sushi

14598.
Jiggle Jiggle Meat
Oh how you stink like dog food
Gross clabber filled block

--Kristy, kristymunson@hotmail.com

14599.
Suck it and slurp it
Salty congealed meat in can
What is it made from

--Kristy Munson, kristymunson@hotmail.com

14600.
Lick it salty meat
Grind it slice it cum on me
Mmm that is so good

--Anonymous