SPAM Haiku 17101-17200

Move backwards to Numbers 17001-17100.

17101.
The cockroach wanders
desperately for a bite
to eat and finds SPAM!

--Megan Novara, rjsmyluvbear@aol.com

17102.
thousands of SPAMku
how will I find the perfect
one in so many?

--Chuck Beard

17103.
rioters beware
or SWAT teams will shoot you with
"nonlethal" SPAM guns

--Chuck Beard

17104.
reading my email
there's nothing but spam, spam, spam
though none about SPAM

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@operamail.com

17105.
SPAM on the mountain
cold, congealed, delightful meat.
At home, for rover.

--k.d. ryan

17106.
pale, twitching, sweating
obvious SPAM withdrawal
"I can quit," he says

--Chuck Beard

17107.
the Hormel SWAT team
stands ready to raid shipments
of the bootleg SPAM

--Chuck Beard

17108.
new worldwide terror
orbital SPAM bombardment
from new space station

--Chuck Beard

17109.
SPAM and cheese blend paste
new snack food and agent of
cholesterolcide

--Chuck Beard

17110.
Hey, what do they call
unwanted messages on
SPAM bulletin boards?

--Chuck Beard

17111.
College student dreams--
someday he'll recall proudly,
his poverty, SPAM.

--k.d. ryan

17112.
All you have to do
is close your eyes and pretend
that the SPAM is ham.

--Chuck Beard

17113.
turning in more 'ku
one hundred and fifty here
yes, I have no life

--Chuck Beard

17114.
salty with jelly
good on toast with some ketchup
the perfect snack food

--Anonymous

17115.
President Clinton:
"We did not have relations,
I gave her some SPAM."

--Anonymous

17116.
If these SPAM loaves don't
stop falling from the sky like
rain, I'll go crazy!!!

--Fozzie

17117.
Before eating SPAM,
I inject it with morphine
to deaden its pain.

--Fozzie

17118.
The Dave Matthews Band
has nothing to do with SPAM.
I still like them though.

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17119.
Summon all your chi
Honor Focus Discipline
Find your inner SPAM

--Ryan Wick

17120.
Your attention for
My tribute to Terry Jones:
SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! SPAM!

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@operamail.com

17121.
Finished a whole can
Awful feeling of remorse:
I am a vegan

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@operamail.com

17122.
Jews and Muslims fight
They don't see their common ground:
Aversion to SPAM

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17123.
Industrialized
slaughter of pigs on steroids.
Have another slice!

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17124.
Oink, oink. (far off) Oink?
Splam him Earl! BOOM swoosh Spul-AM.
Splam. Sixty buckets.

--Warren Andersen

17125.
Postponing writing,
My mind wanders to pink meat:
SPAM, take me away!

--Kurt Bouman

17126.
Chef tries something new:
SPAM in hot chocolate sauce.
Not best idea.

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17127.
Many years from now
Historians will wonder
"How could they eat that?!?"

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17128.
Pigs will get revenge!
Evolve intelligence and
sell cans of SPUMAN.

--Bart Verbanck, bart.verbanck@pandora.be

17129.
He said, "Eat, drink, and
be merry." You think he was
talking about SPAM?

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17130.
China sells cheap SPAM.
No wonder those pilots are
all still over there.

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17131.
"Excuse me, do you
have any SPAM?" A lame joke,
hardly a haiku.

--yankees51, y51@bestweb.net

17132.
Vikings were here first
And set up a company.
That's right! Hormel, Inc.

--stant6@dandy.net

17133.
Pregnant SPAM cravings
So wickedly compelling
Led me to the fridge

--Lisa "I only have a dollar" Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17134.
Childhood memory
Macaroni casserole
Burnt SPAM floats on top

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17135.
Why I love it so
Like my clan in its trailer
SPAM lives in a can

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17136.
Pigs run through my dreams
Herded to giant grinder
Endless SPAM nightmare

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17137.
Much longer shelf-life
Than the men who come and go
Pink slab fills my needs

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17138.
SPAM is my best friend
It never leaves the seat up
Makes no sound but "slurp"

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17139.
eat piglet eyeballs
and rhinoceros snout-lips
compressed into cans

--Louise Powell, louiseteresa@webtv.net

17140.
I gave up SPAM for
Lent. With it, indigestion
and diarrhea.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17141.
See SPAM. See SPAM run.
Oh Dick, let's feed Spot some SPAM.
See Spot. See Spot barf.

--Warren Andersen

17142.
Our world grows crowded.
In the end, what will survive?
Bugs and SPAM. Karma.

--Warren Andersen

17143.
Oh geletinous
pink mound of mystery meat.
Wither comest thou?

--Warren Andersen

17144.
Pork innards disguised
With spices, blue tin, pink dye
Sliced, diced, it's still SPAM

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17145.
Porcine epitaphs
SPAM River Anthology
Here lie empty cans

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17146.
Oink? Farr Earl. How Farr?
Farr huner feet. BAM SPulAM.
Lite Farr. Bar-BQ.

--Warren Andersen

17147.
unopened SPAM can
dates back to 1940s--
antique roadshow find

--k.d. ryan

17148.
Poached from museum
Vintage lunchmeat and pepper
Lindy hops with tongue

--Anonymous

17149.
The blue can conceals
diabolical secret:
cloven-hoofed mincemeat.

--Milford Pigboy

17150.
Paté of pig fat
"spiced" with sodium nitrite:
it's Beelzebub's treat.

--Milford Pigboy

17151.
Souls of the damned cry
out in anguish: SPAM is their
eternal diet.

--Milford Pigboy

17152.
With which utensil
should one eat choc'late covered
SPAM? Four-tined pitchfork.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17153.
It's a mystery.
Chinese koan--What's the sound
of one SPAM clapping?

--Dawn Ray, craig@me-man.com

17154.
the SPAM can bulges
grab it with the hazmat tongs
seal it in concrete

--Chuck Beard

17155.
crashed in the Arctic
made a spear from frozen SPAM
killed a polar bear

--Chuck Beard

17156.
Arctic survival
gutted bear with SPAM can edge
feasted on its flesh

--Chuck Beard

17157.
pulling the trigger
on your SPAM gun should not be
a casual choice

--Chuck Beard

17158.
Ee-eye-ee-eye-oh
To the cannery I go
Life is just too slow

--Fwed

17159.
Three little piggies
Hogs today, SPAM tomorrow
Fairy tale over

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17160.
SPAM for breakfast. SPAM
for lunch, and SPAM for dinner.
A twenty-day fast.

--Dawn Ray, craig@me-man.com

17161.
Rank, pink explosion.
Accident at Hormel can
ruin your whole day.

--Dawn Ray, craig@me-man.com

17162.
Pre-formed pork product,
your meat is gelatinous.
Slide down my throat, please.

--Kristine Shafer, kristine@intelligent-imaging.com

17163.
Eat SPAM, type SPAM but
spasm makes typed SPAM "SPASM"
. . . could one sell SPASM?

--Harrison Fisher

17164.
SPAM so soft and sweet
I will be your only one
Roll in your jelly

--Jaysen Johnson, j12077@aol.com

17165.
What is it, lips, ears,
peckers? Depends on the whims
of the meat grinder.

--Milford Pigboy

17166.
Hormel cuts work force--
Center for Disease Control
breathes sigh of relief.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17167.
Try packing SPAM for
your picnic--not to eat, but
to repel the ants.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17168.
Japanese cult planned
to leave SPAM on subway, but
settled for sarin.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17169.
Each time scientists
have cloned SPAM, the result has
been sheep dung. Dolly's?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17170.
O rounded square tin
Not one thing or another
Koan on my shelf

--Eve, eveh@peoplepc.com

17171.
Tin of SPAM waiting
for natural disasters
trembling in earthquakes.

--Eve, eveh@peoplepc.com

17172.
SPAM is good for me
I like SPAM and it likes me
Eat SPAM eat SPAM eat

--lit'l jack horner

17173.
The pink squishy pig
found his way into a can
and voilà, it's SPAM!

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

17174.
it's all about SPAM
let it go KERPLUNK! KERPLOP!
only once a week

--Anonymous

17175.
OM to the SPAM, OM!
I forget all my problems
OM SPAM OM SPAM OM!

--lit'l jack horner

17176.
it's a SPAM skyline
it's all across your tired face
dreams pink crystalline

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

17177.
uckingfay AMSPAY
akesmay emay iverquay
ammitday AMSPAY!

--lit'l jack horner

17178.
uckingfay AMSPAY
akesmay emay iverquay
ammitday imJay!

--lit'l jack horner

17179.
Glowing, dans la nuit,
So ever effervescent.
Snacktacular SPAM.

--Ceramium Deslongchampii, i851z@unb.ca

17180.
The "meat" told me to
So I killed them all REAL SLOW
Son of SPAM Murder

--breaker, breaker021@hotmail.com

17181.
New Monsanto SPAM
Genetic'ly engineered--
Now twice as lethal

--Cure 81.9

17182.
To retaliate,
China strikes back with food craze--
New "Bald Eagle SPAM"

--Cure 81.9

17183.
Pee Wee Herman screams,
"I LOVE SPAM!" but please don't ask
him to marry it...

--Cure 81.9

17184.
can opener sings
gutturally, lonely love
and is requited

--Kevin "ow, my aching head" Vigor, hormel@vigor.nu

17185.
Open can and gasp!
"This SPAM loaf has been slimed!" Meat
does not come like this.

--Milford Pigboy

17186.
Artfully arranged
rosette of pink SPAM slices
looks like hemorrhoids.

--Milford Pigboy

17187.
SPAM in the shower
First rub in hair, then apply
to face. Do not rinse!

--Looper, tylermfoster@hotmail.com

17188.
SPAM learns from PB
Now offers chunky or smooth
New variety

--Looper, tylermfoster@hotmail.com

17189.
Chairman Kaga says,
"Choose your theme ingredient!"
I will select SPAM.

--Iron Chef Mike, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17190.
Thanks to hoof and mouth,
Butcher's shelves are all empty;
SPAM is disease free.

--Anti-Vegetarian Mike, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17191.
Lost in the market;
Identical aisles mocking;
SPAM is my north star.

--Navigator Mike, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17192.
SPAM Lite? What the hell!?
Do you know what that is called?
An oxymoron.

--mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17193.
Pink when raw or cooked,
SPAM can't be controlled by you;
Untameable meat.

--Chef Mike, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17194.
Browsing through the Web
This question comes to my mind:
Why no porn with SPAM?

--Filthy Thoughts

17195.
Ragged shard of tin,
Blood spills from my cut finger;
I suffer for SPAM.

--SPAMartyr, mike.konczewski@itb.mckhboc.com

17196.
Mayonnaise spread on white bread,
Glass of milk and SPAM!
Call it WASP soul food!

--Sticks

17197.
What is yonder stench
wafting across the desert?
SPAM in the making.

--Milford Pigboy

17198.
When the south wind blows,
close windows, burn incense and
strong-scented candles.

--Milford Pigboy

17199.
Can we bring a few
more pigs into your desert?
They smell very sweet.

--Milford Pigboy

17200.
I should try some SPAM
I'm a vegetarian
Maybe it's not meat

--Jennifer S, nitrojen99@aol.com