SPAM Haiku 17801-17900

Move backwards to Numbers 17701-17800.

17801.
i can't take the smell
the slimy, greasy, odor
you really suck SPAM

--Chris Peterson, icculus927@msn.com

17802.
"A SPAM-ku wizard,
He sure writes a mean SPAM-ku."
Then, Pete Townsend chords.

--John Byer

17803.
A SPAM burning stove,
gives both warmth and aroma.
Enjoy Winter nights.

--John Byer

17804.
SPAM--once a wild thing
But fit perfectly into
Aluminum can

--Marc Brammer, mbrammer@innovestgroup.com

17805.
Oh blue can! Oh SPAM!
I yearn for thee, although I
have lost the damned key!

--Milford Pigboy

17806.
As the day wears down
I look to my SPAM for joy
And choose suicide

--Wild T.

17807.
Twenty loaves of SPAM
Eaten in just ten minutes
Shits to the extreme

--Wild T.

17808.
Mighty SPAM, unleashed,
porcine odor transcends space,
nose hairs curl in fear.

--DWIII, dwiiiandSPAM@webtv.net

17809.
Oft the poets claim:
"One picture, a thousand words."
Ha! SPAM laughs at them.

--DWIII, dwiiiandSPAM@webtv.net

17810.
SPAM: riddle of meat
neither fluid nor solid
yet both...brain boggles!

--DWIII, dwiiiandSPAM@webtv.net

17811.
Canned swine shreds breakfast
July 24th Parade
O Pearl of Great Price!

--Milford Pigboy

17812.
Pioneer's partners
on westward trek included
the humble pink Pig.

--Milford Pigboy

17813.
"This Is The Right Place!"
Brigham proclaimed. "But please put
piggeries elsewhere."

--Milford Pigboy

17814.
Between me and you
I'm a vegetarian
Remembering SPAM

--64

17815.
As it's no reward,
SPAM must be a discipline,
for the driven man.

--64, -

17816.
Pinky and Perky,
Great puppets but only pork.
Destined for SPAM--die.

--John Byer

17817.
"Et tu Brute." SPAM--
a dagger made of it would
not have killed Caesar.

--John Byer

17818.
No beef left in house
Slim Jim would taste better mom
Don't put SPAM in pot!

--T Pease, t_pease@ids.net

17819.
Properties of SPAM
written in physics textbook...
Why? Comic relief.

--DWIII, dwiiiandSPAM@webtv.net

17820.
"Christ never ate SPAM!"
"But can we be so certain?
Scripture does not say."

--Milford Pigboy

17821.
SPAM is as Chinese
as baseball and apple pie
is Canadian.

--jnov

17822.
Dinner at my place
She saw the main course was SPAM
Restraining Order

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com

17823.
Pig lips and assholes
Life's main entrance and exit
Dwell pinkly as one

--Dennis McDougall, dennism@pcez.com

17824.
SPAM, wonderful SPAM
Greasy, salty; it's gralty!
(Whaddaya mean, "Bleah"?)

--Ian Murdock, ianmurdock@webtv.net

17825.
Thousands of poems
Honoring beloved SPAM.
Could this be Heaven?

--SPAMwhore Mel

17826.
Unnameable meat
flying through the air at you.
No one hears you scream.

--Bryce Howell, Hirathath@yahoo.com

17827.
Secret to meaning
of life for pigs lies in blue
can on grocer's shelf.

--Milford Pigboy

17828.
Squarish silhouette
Poised against the twilight sky
The SPAM Avenger

--Chuck Beard

17829.
What is this thing, SPAM?
Not pork, not beef, not real meat
One day we will know...

--The CTrain, ctrain890@yahoo.com

17830.
Thrice in my life have
I felt peace, most recently
last night. I ate SPAM.

--Fozzie

17831.
SPAM jelly toast spead,
less fancy than caviar,
but fish eggs are gross.

--kim

17832.
My dog loves Alpo,
but runs from the proffered SPAM.
Too particular.

--kim

17833.
I love the pink gel
from the processed porcine parts.
SPAM's the "food" for me.

--kim

17834.
New global crisis
Politicians obsolete!
Turn 'em into SPAM!

--PiedViper

17835.
Who's the piece of shit
who took my can of SPAM and
brought it back empty?

--The Amazing Dan-San of the SPAM can

17836.
My higher power
Neither forbids nor condones
SPAM consumption. Peace.

--The Amazing Dan-San of the SPAM can

17837.
In the black of space
SPAM rots not--it lasts and lasts
as if on your shelf.

--The Amazing Dan-San of the SPAM Can

17838.
You and me and SPAM
cut in the shape of a heart--
candlelight dinner.

--The Amazing Dan-San of the SPAM can

17839.
SPAM for midnight snack:
put can on plate and pressed START.
Broken microwave.

--The Amazing Dan-San of the SPAM can

17840.
The dead man succumbed
to poison administered
in a SPAM sandwich.

--Milford Pigboy

17841.
SPAM in a blender.
Put some ice cream into it.
Only at Arby's

--Steve Q. Broadwell, fone_bone_99@yahoo.com

17842.
SPAM. SPAM. Good to eat.
What is in this 'mazing "meat?"
Worse yet: could be TREET!

--Michael P. McCart, mccart13@yahoo.com

17843.
Bluish can of steel
Oh what promise do you hold?
Salty flesh so ripe

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17844.
Silent former pig
One communal awareness
Myriad pink bricks

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17845.
Can of metal, slick
Soft center, cool, moistening
I yearn for your salt

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17846.
Twist, pull the sharp lid
Jerks and cuts me deeply but
SPAM, aah, my poultice

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17847.
Clad in metal, proud
No mere salt-curing for you
You are not bacon

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17848.
And who dares mock SPAM?
You? You? You are not worthy
Of one rich pink fleck

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17849.
Like some spongy rock
A granite, my piece of SPAM
Sunlight on my plate

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17850.
Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17851.
Mother, hospital
Always, pink mystery meat
Father makes us lunch

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17852.
Hard blue brick outside
Open, granules of congealed
Fat melt into oil

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17853.
Unfathomable
This pink, gelatinous mass
What mind conceived it?

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17854.
Nourishment from this?
I laugh, my bile rises, but--
Just a taste; not bad

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17855.
The store is well lit
Gleaming tins of SPAM beckon
Compelled, I purchase

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17856.
Again, SPAM haiku
Syllabic hurly-burly
Ooh, here's another

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17857.
A torrent invoked
The unabated tumult
Odes to Hormel's SPAM

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17858.
Linguistic finesse
Verse euphonious and spare
Fail to capture SPAM

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17859.
The crow, intrigued turns
its head to one side, and stares
at one pink morsel.

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17860.
Words, images spew,
praising ineffable SPAM.
Who will give up first?

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17861.
Gorged on SPAM, he stops
to assimilate the brine
and asks: When, oh when?

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17862.
Bitter, determined
SPAM must not elude his verse
He vainly writes on

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17863.
Someday, all is still
yet none escapes the shadow
of the great SPAM war.

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17864.
With one remaining
vestige of hope, he toils on.
The sun sinks, pink sky.

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17865.
SPAM, working class crap,
Ignites our contempt and yet
Feeds us all the same.

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17866.
They talk of e-mail
Unctuous, unflattering
They know not my SPAM

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17867.
Pink pliant gobbet
Fills our lunchtime, and lunchtime
Never long enough

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17868.
Curse the dentist, who
Left this gap between my teeth.
Pleasant surprise! SPAM!

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17869.
Thank you, worthy one
Illuminating and meet
SPAM and art, joining

--Dave not-Nilsen and/or Dave not-Robinson

17870.
Paugh! What's this offense?!
They dare to insult my tastes!
Parsley garnished SPAM?

--Dave Robinson, derbnsn@worldnet.att.net

17871.
Trapped in metal can
nebulous, pink ichor lurks.
Universe unborn.

--Joe Dackman

17872.
Plague in Northern lands
Canucks gather for vengeance.
"SPAM exporters: Die!"

--Joe Dackman

17873.
Wondrous non-beefy
Oh the sweet mother of meat
Oozing with greasy

--Enoch Jones, MEJ119@hotmail.com

17874.
SPAM, eternal joke
The eighth wonder of the world
Why do we laugh now?

--Aaron and Jason

17875.
Sow farm fire! Burnt pigs!
They'll never be SPAM, but it's
a great day for crows.

--Milford Pigboy

17876.
Ate a SPAM sandwich
Had to have an enema
Pink chunks in my stool

--Wild T.

17877.
SPAM it hates Sharon
I can understand why it
Does I dine alone

--Sammy Davis $

17878.
Sharon my mortal
Enemy enjoys SPAM cold
Her life is a lie

--Ewen Potter Gee

17879.
Sharon her heart of
SPAM leaves mortals cold the fire
The pain the hurt lunch

--Ewen Potter Gee

17880.
Denny's Grand SPAM: eggs,
Slice, pancakes, coffee, nausea,
All by 8 A.M.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17881.
Pig farm fire! Living
pig fat quivers; burning sows
flee with hellish squeals.

--Milford Pigboy

17882.
Remnants of piggies
Molded in a gooey blob
I'm not hungry now

--Super Monkey Man Dude Guy Person!

17883.
Charred lumps of pig flesh
burnt beyond recognition
are all that remains.

--Milford Pigboy

17884.
Twelve thousand pigs have
met their deaths; their legacy
is just a mass grave.

--Milford Pigboy

17885.
cold delicious death
disguised as edible food
the SPAM is out there

--charles, cheesewheeljones@hotmail.com

17886.
as my vital parts
cease to funtion normally
i see evil-SPAM!

--charles, cheesewheeljones@hotmail.com

17887.
ecstasy fills me
as i bite the rubber cube
it can't replace SPAM...

--charles, cheesewheeljones@hotmail.com

17888.
Haiku syllables;
Brits: "med'cine", Yanks: "med-i-cine",
but we all say "SPAM".

--Milford Pigboy

17889.
You say "burrito"
I say "breedo"; we both gag
if it's made with SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

17890.
Donna is real new
She will learn to eat SPAM too
The bloodline will grow

--Owen Potter Gee

17891.
Poor old Cousin Sam
Wasn't really worth a damn.
Ate a lot of SPAM.

--Ray Booth, raymondiboothiii@netscpae.net

17892.
The SPAM camera
Takes a horrible picture
Sorrow breaks the lens

--Winston O'Boogie

17893.
Burnt pig burial
scooped in front-end loader; brings
to mind Auschwitz scenes.

--Milford Pigboy

17894.
Wedding pledge: "Do you
vow not to eat SPAM?"..."I do."
Infidelity!

--Junkyard God

17895.
Alone in my dorm,
I ate SPAM while friends chased girls.
A wasted youth...NOT!

--Junkyard God

17896.
The others found me.
Intimate moments with SPAM.
I say: "Let them laugh"

--Junkyard God

17897.
So what? I like SPAM.
Girlfriend calls me a loser.
I can live with Mom.

--Junkyard God

17898.
The freedom of youth.
Surf and sand. Parties and SPAM.
An endless summer.

--Junkyard God

17899.
A bar in Juarez.
SPAM with tequila chaser.
"Give me another."

--Junkyard God

17900.
Now, SPAM is enhanced
with Gene Modification.
Franken-franken-food.

--Junkyard God