4701.
Ascending with flames
A new satellite is born.
Some call it "Telsow."
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4702.
Workers at Hormel
Monitor love's labor launched.
Hearts and tear ducts swell.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4703.
Knocked out of orbit,
The porcine projectile spins
Into the unknown.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4704.
Somewhere a black hole
Consumes everything in sight;
A blue can sails by.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4705.
Tastes like ham, sorta
But clogs up my aorta
Pig rigor morta
--Bill Muse
4706.
Run SPAM run! Don't stop
See SPAM stop at microwave
SPAM is now vomit
--Kevin Curtiss
4707.
Do you like eating?
What do you eat for breakfast?
Champions choose SPAM
--Kevin Curtiss
4708.
Little loaf of meat
Who's flavor can not be beat
Where's my baseball bat?
--Tdallaire@state.ma.us
4709.
Hank Williams, Jr.
hollers, "Are you ready for
some SPAM?!" No. I'm not.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4710.
Mobil sues Hormel
over the latter's ripped-off
"Pigasus" logo.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4711.
Tie SPAM to your feet.
You can slide down sidewalks like
you're on rollerblades.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4712.
Hermann Göring ate
SPAM in his cell to escape
Nuremburg justice.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4713.
SPAM is to food what
Diet Dr. Pepper is
to Dom Perignon.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4714.
Young Kunta Kinte
was flogged for refusing to
use his new name, "SPAM."
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4715.
I think, therefore I
Spam. I Spam therefore I am.
A leaf slowly falls.
--Jess, BiffGeorge@aol.com
4716.
My boss slowly drones
I am thinking about lunch
Will this meeting end?
--Anonymous
4717.
i think spam, hence am
spam: my life's enigmatic,
my world's in a can
--sarah best, smurf98@pennet.net
4718.
two tomatoes, oil,
garlic, water, onion, spam
curry, chop, boil...god
--mkramer707@worldnet.att.com
4719.
Desperate Bob Dole
promises everyone SPAM.
Only Clinton bites.
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
4720.
"...the slithy toves did
gyre and gimbol in the wabe..."
Carroll conceived SPAM!
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
4721.
For Halloween treats
dip SPAM cubes in chocolate.
Who's the trick on now?
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
4722.
Hormel reads Dilbert
to improve efficiency.
Ratbert, Catbert canned.
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
4723.
If I had a dime
For each time I've enjoyed SPAM
OK, next topic
--Casey Gilbertson, http://coyote.accessnv.com/casey
4724.
Open, open up.
Spoon, spoon, spoon out that pink stuff!
Yes, fry it and eat.
--Kevin Kennedy, lushi@voyager.net
4725.
Squishy and juicy,
Tastes like not real food products
When it is consumed.
--Anonymous
4726.
SPAM in the oven
Just needs a little lovin':
Pineapple slices.
--Kevin Pyles, pyles@macroint.com
4727.
Plates of SPAM, rotting
Leaves of fall, pumpkins alike
I eat more, rake less
--Chris
4728.
Chew, puff, chew, puff, chew
The cigarette gives the SPAM
Pleasant smoky taste
--David H. Martin, davidm@objectGuild.com
4729.
It's so convenient!
You use the empty SPAM can
For your cigarettes
--David H. Martin, davidm@objectGuild.com
4730.
SPAM fried in butter
Wafting into my bedroom
Need a new roommate
--David H. Martin, davidm@objectGuild.com
4731.
SPAM omnipresent.
You can run but you can't hide.
In SPAM we abide.
--Sergeant SPAM
4732.
If you want to die
in honorable fashion,
SPAM under the tongue.
--Ben Tallen, tall0032@gold.tc.umn.edu
4733.
Police use SPAM spray
as pepper spray substitute.
Suspect D.O.A.
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
4734.
Considerations
of cost, not taste, replaced the
ice swans with SPAM pigs.
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
4735.
The manic gobbles
SPAM but the suicidal
depressive does too.
--zbaird@cjnetworks.com
4736.
Warning labels now
On SPAM containers. "May be
Hazardous to life."
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
4737.
Cold aliens find
SPAM-based life on Earth. Weapons
Set to vaporize.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
4738.
More workplaces now
Have set up isolated
Zones where SPAM's allowed.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
4739.
In Sleepers, prison
Guards force boys to eat SPAM. No
Revenge is enough.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
4740.
Don't ban SPAM! Just think:
Bootleggers running tinned meat
In from Canada.
--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com
4741.
should I comb spam's hair
or should spam wear it matted
I need some shampoo
--Anonymous
4742.
Pass the pipe, Charlie
Light the SPAM, inhale deeply
This shit is the best
--Anonymous
4743.
the reason kids starve
in the African nations
SPAM is all they have
--tim laffey
4744.
When you pop the can
Don't let the juices hit you
Or a rash will come.
--tim laffey
4745.
I like to eat SPAM
I eat it everyday
I have gone insane
--tim laffey
4746.
I asked my teacher
How they made SPAM so tasty
"Don't ask, just enjoy"
--tim laffey
4747.
Digging in the trash,
Found leftover baby parts.
More SPAM for the poor.
--Angelo
4748.
SPAM is like a 'fro.
Sticky, greasy, and gooey.
Kinda hard to comb.
--Marcus Hathcock, osiris@spnt.com
4749.
I offer the SPAM
To the aborigines--
Ow! A poison dart!
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4750.
At my confession:
"I love SPAM." "What, carnally?"
Hadn't thought of that.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4751.
Flossing before bed,
I unearthed a speck of pink--
Hint of last night's SPAM.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4752.
Ask the maitre d'
If the restaurant serves SPAM:
You will be kicked out.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4753.
Pockmarked can of SPAM
Behind the old wooden fence--
BB gun's target.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4754.
It's leaked to the press--
In the Unabomber's shack,
Thousands of SPAM tins.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4755.
Listen--I hear the
Crystal clear sizzle and pop
Of SPAM fried in oil.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4756.
I lost my glue, but
I found SPAM's just as sticky,
And has a nice smell.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4757.
Discarded bread crusts,
Bits of pink meat and mustard...
A feast for the birds.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4758.
He looks up from lunch,
Smells leaves mingled with the pork;
Soon, the harvest moon.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4759.
Solitary block
Discovered on Mauritius
Marks of dodo beaks
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4760.
A logic nightmare:
Ten thousand inputs, one out;
It is the SPAM gate.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4761.
Succulent naiad,
I envy the warming oil
In which you now bathe!
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4762.
Halloween gross-out:
Olives are "eyes"; Jell-O, "brains"
SPAM is served as-is.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4763.
What hath Hormel wrought?
A tin of twisted tendons
A cube of carnage
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4764.
Edgar Allan Poe
"The Fall of the House of SPAM"
His only failure
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4765.
Arnold, Babe, Wilbur:
How hath the meaty fallen!
Hormel shall have them.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4766.
SPAM fried in grape leaves
Then smothered in olive oil
The glory of Greece!
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4767.
It had to happen
New from Andrew Lloyd Webber
SPAM: The Musical.
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4768.
He, too, shall be canned
His stardom notwithstanding
"Th-th-that's all, folks!"
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com
4769.
Hell's center circle
Is filled with sinful gourmets
Being force-fed SPAM.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4770.
A forkful of SPAM
Fell in the radiator.
Now it is winter.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4771.
I'd rather eat SPAM
Than have rabies-addled clowns
Beat me with mallets.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4772.
SPAM, SPAM on the range,
Burners glowing red beneath
The non-stick griddle.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4773.
Frying up some SPAM,
I used too little oil, and
The smoke alarm blared.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4774.
Where is the SPAM of
Yesteryear? (Or, in French: "Ou
Est le SPAM d'antan?")
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4775.
The man is ashamed
To tell the prostitute what
To do with the SPAM.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4776.
SPAM the Wonder Meat
Jellied shimmering beauty
Beckoning us forth
--Andrew Seamans
4777.
Life, it is like SPAM
Shiny and shimmering first
But full of strange things
--Andrew Seamans
4778.
I eat SPAM for lunch
I always eat SPAM at night
My aching colon
--Andrew Seamans
4779.
oh, spamku. are you
true art or mere distraction?
prose for the ages.
--spok, mstebbins@vnet.ibm.com
4780.
michael palin says,
"i'll eat your spam, i love it!"
fork it over, bub.
--spok, mstebbins@vnet.ibm.com
4781.
With knife to your neck
SPAM is on my crazy mind
Want that from behind
--Anonymous
4782.
The roulette wheel spins--
I win! That's thirty-five more
Cans of SPAM for me!
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4783.
The scorpion stings
The chunk of SPAM many times.
So much for dinner.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4784.
The madman wants to
Eat humans. We feed him SPAM;
He's none the wiser.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4785.
The red robin's head
Is stuck in the block of SPAM
Where I shoved it in
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4786.
It seemed very strange
To see the SPAM stood on end--
A new perspective.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4787.
Strange, familiar smell
Coming from my mailbox. Ah!
Mother remembered.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4788.
I really love SPAM
It melts in your microwave
But not in your mouth
--Raanan Elefant
4789.
Playing blues guitar;
bottleneck falls, breaks on floor.
Use SPAM can as slide.
--Tim Bender, Nasrouddine@hotmail.com
4790.
With the empty can
Held up to my ear, I hear
The sound of the sty.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4791.
Twenty ants working
Together to carry the
Can to the anthill.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4792.
"Kiss me," she pleaded,
But I cruelly turned away,
Having seen her lunch.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4793.
The FBI puts
Computer chips in my SPAM.
You think I'm crazy.
--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com
4794.
Eating SPAM is like
riding in a limousine
with Tupac Shakur.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4795.
Catherine the Great,
according to rumor, was
crushed by falling SPAM.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4796.
Ever seen liver
pudding? It's like SPAM that they
forgot to dye pink.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4797.
Constipation cure:
SPAM and chewing tobacco.
Run! Duck and cover!
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4798.
Coed asks of SPAM,
"Why does it taste so salty?"
Wait, it wasn't SPAM.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4799.
Hillbilly shoots pig.
Processed food product spews forth.
Pink gold! Texas tea!
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com
4800.
Clueless old lady
puts SPAM in the microwave
with her wet poodle.
--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com