SPAM Haiku 7901-8000

Move backwards to Numbers 7801-7900.

7901.
SPAM, taken for sponge...
Used it to wash the dishes.
Now, nothing to eat!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7902.
SPAM ingredients:
Artificial dead pig parts.
Yes, ARTIFICIAL.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7903.
SPAM reproducing.
It ejects many green blobs
which grow into, umm...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7904.
SPAM has bad traction.
Once I lined my tires with it.
Skidded off the road.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7905.
I like SPAM damn it!
Say what you will but it's great
with slice of cheese, bread.

--Lane, lpetersn@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu

7906.
Would SPAM be the same
If its name were different?
"Crap Loaf In Phlegm Sauce"?

--Lane, lpetersn@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu

7907.
Oh Little Blue Tin
I Turn Your Key Slowly, My
Pork Runneth Over

--Kevin Kocher

7908.
PEOPLE TAKE COCAINE
TO SUPPRESS THEIR APPETITE.
EAT SPAM. IT'S CHEAPER.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demo.co.uk

7909.
OXYMORONIC:
WORDS WHICH CONTRADICT THEMSELVES.
EXAMPLE: "EAT SPAM"

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demo.co.uk

7910.
THE "S" PLAN DIET--
EAT ONE PART FOOD, ONE PART SPAM.
QUITE FRANKLY, YOU'LL STARVE.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7911.
IS SPAM A LONE BEAST?
I BELIEVE THAT CORNED BEEF IS
A DISTANT COUSIN.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7912.
HAVE WE BEEN HOODWINKED?
IS SPAM A MEATY FLAVORED
CUBE OF COLD JELL-O?

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7913.
SCULPTOR HENRY MOORE
FIRST PRACTICED MAKING STATUES
USING BLOCKS OF SPAM

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7914.
PEOPLE WALK PAST ME
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" THEY ASK.
"SPAMKU!" THEY LOOK BLANK.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7915.
TONY BLAIR PROMISED
TO OUTLAW THE SALE OF SPAM.
NOW HE'S THE P.M.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7916.
IF YOU LOSE YOUR WAY
WHEN AT THE SUPERMARKET
USE SPAM (ANAG. MAPS)

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7917.
Manned spacecraft on Mars
Pink SPAM chunks hit red planet
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7918.
SPAM supports new life
Pink SPAM chunks hit red planet
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7919.
SPAM supports new life
An experiment gone mad
Starts evolution

--MSB

7920.
Blue and white bodies
With the DNA of SPAM
And one busy hand

--MSB

7921.
Planet overrun
Beings who use SPAM for sex
Monkey Spanking Boys

--MSB

7922.
He fed upon SPAM
For each meal he ate each day
Outhouse resident

--Wild T.

7923.
As the roses bloom
As the birds sing in the trees
SPAM is happiness

--Wild T.

7924.
Nobody loves me
I want to eat lots of SPAM
Thoughts of suicide

--Wild T.

7925.
"Hey Butthead!" "Uuuuh, what?"
"SPAM sucks!" "Give it to Stewart."
"Heh heh uh huh huh......."

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7926.
SPAM and coffee. Whipped
together at a high speed.
SPiced latté is served.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7927.
SPiced latté is quite
tasty. The thick pink greasy
foam does it for me.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7928.
Some say SPiced latté
looks like vomit. No--that's chunk
style. I like mine smooth.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7929.
WOULD THE BIG BAD WOLF
HAVE HUFFED AND PUFFED QUITE SO HARD
FOR THREE TINS OF SPAM?

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7930.
THE STAGE DIRECTOR
OF A PLAY FEATURING SPAM
CRIES "STOP HAMMING IT!"

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7931.
MUSLIMS HAVE IT RIGHT.
THEY SAY THAT PORK IS UNCLEAN,
AND THAT INCLUDES SPAM.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7932.
Mass of jellied meat
Watch it wiggle in dog bowl
Rover looks away

--Anonymous

7933.
Monkey Spanking Boy
It's his pro wrestling debut
As the SPAMmaster

--MSB

7934.
Our Hormel hero
In his blue, white, and pink tights
Takes on Hulk Hogan

--MSB

7935.
The champ slips on gel
Gets caught for finishing move
The "Top Rope SPAM Slam"

--MSB

7936.
Why is SPAM reviled?
A bad past experience?
Pink meat's not for you?

--jojo

7937.
The referee rules
"SPAM is a foreign object.
You're disqualified!!!"

--MSB

7938.
SPAM covers the ring
Banned from the sport--no belt for
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7939.
Notice the label.
The circle "u" is missing.
It is not kosher.

--jojo

7940.
Pork delicacy.
Snout, ears, tail, feet (and no hoofs).
How cleverly done.

--jojo

7941.
Did Lynard Skinnard
Sing "Ooh, that smell" about SPAM?
We may never know

--WRKSOFFART

7942.
You open the can.
You pull the tab. A sharp edge.
Too late. Dress the wound.

--jojo

7943.
Need deft maneuver
How to get it out without
Damaging its sides

--jojo

7944.
I study the meat.
Enigma variations.
Any way it's cut.

--jojo

7945.
No, I am not SPAM
People say I look the part
Hormel you bastard

--John "I know the way" Geeko

7946.
SPAM is icky green
It sits here in my basement
SPAM my only friend

--Captain Geeko

7947.
Monolithic lump
Resplendent I pray daily
Spamly nirvana

--For Habib Lopes

7948.
Phospholipid hell
Lump of deadly chemicals
Yummy in tummy

--Captain Geeko

7949.
SPAM a lot like air
You have to have it or else
SPAM a lot like air

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7950.
SPAM, why is it here
It makes me SICK all the time
Why'd they invent SPAM

--Fernando Lucero, felucero@nmsu.edu

7951.
Please Answer Me SPAM
I'm getting tired of waiting
Ohh God HELP ME now

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7952.
Killing pigs is bad
Also killing cows are bad
But they sure taste good

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7953.
When you eat some SPAM
You are eating some gross stuff
And then you will die

--Fernando Lucero, felucero@nmsu.edu

7954.
Today I smoked weed
DAMN that DAMN SPAM and get high
Why SPAM why DAMN YOU!

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7955.
My friend smoked some SPAM
Why I wonder in this life
Now he's messed up bad

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7956.
spam you suck my cock
while i'm jacking off at night
and you swallow too!!!

--abe, felucero@nmsu.edu

7957.
I saw the DAMN moon
I saw the stars, and my dog
He kicked my SPAM ASS!!!!

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7958.
SPAM you are the shit
WHEN I AM SUCKING YOUR TIT
Let me eat the shit!!!

--abe, felucero

7959.
FUCK ME! SPAM! FUCK ME!
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU FUCK ME!
FUCK ME! SPAM! FUCK ME!

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

7960.
Ohh say can you SPAM
By the dawn's early light yeah
I wake up in pain

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7961.
In a can it comes
Into my stomach it goes
Soon the toilet flows

--WVF

7962.
I possess the key
To your tin chastity belt.
Open, breathe, glisten.

--Ben Kovitz, apteryx@netcom.com

7963.
Let it all hang out.
Slip, ooze, raspberry, kerplop.
I hear SPAM talking.

--Ben Kovitz, apteryx@netcom.com

7964.
O SPAMI vitae
Gloria in excelsis.
Volup labere.

--Ben Kovitz, apteryx@netcom.com

7965.
If SPAM tin opens
But no one's there to hear it,
Does it make a sound?

--Peter Berman

7966.
The Beatles sang a-
bout love and such. But I say:
SPAM will heal the world.

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7967.
The demon inside
me just wants to get out. In-
stead, I feed it SPAM.

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7968.
And the sage old man
knowingly said, SPAM is life.
The rest is real pork.

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7969.
I ran for the car
and all I got was a Spammed-
up CD player

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7970.
In comparison
to football, playstation SPAM
is way, way more fun.

--Libby Beaman, iwanabelike_mike@hotmail.com

7971.
SPAM on a sandwich
With a thick slice of tofu
Do they cancel out?

--phil, fill@ix.netcom.com

7972.
Mystical pink meat
Thy innards have been used well
Sweet and divine swine

--Steve Cole, colestev@pilot.msu.edu

7973.
On the Seventh Day
After resting, God made SPAM.
Cruel Almighty prank.

--Tim Sniffen, tim_sniffen@jellyvision.com

7974.
Julia Child's bane
Marth Stewart screames in pain
And SPAM is to blame!

--Lamoille County 40oz Club, vt1phish@together.net

7975.
Trailer park trash meat
Arteriosclerosis
Keys on chains, dog not

--Anonymous

7976.
My large purple meat
Spreading your smooth, pink, sweetness
SPAM, you are my queen

--Anonymous

7977.
SPAM, that squishy meat
Like Alpo with more jelly
Yeah, SPAM me, baby!

--Anonymous

7978.
Of periodic
SPAM-b-um, new element
Fatty gel you love

--Anonymous

7979.
Oh yeah, SPAM by me
When you are very hungry
Gelatinous ooze

--Anonymous

7980.
Writing SPAM poems
It keeps us awake at night
I need a hobby

--Anonymous

7981.
Shalt thou share mine love?
Or shalt thou knowest mine pain?
SPAM, meat of mine life.

--Anonymous

7982.
Pink meat is a treat
Grilled SPAM sure cannot be beat
Give me more to eat

--Anonymous

7983.
Broken barbecue
Vegetarians say "pew"
Cook that shit outside!

--Anonymous

7984.
Meat, nutrition void
My taste buds with SPAM I toyed
Tummy now annoyed

--Anonymous

7985.
Creation of SPAM
Pigs fall one by one into
Domino shaped cans

--Anonymous

7986.
Not quite what you seem
With preservatives you teem
My forbidden dreams

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7987.
It's a type of wurst
Summer of my swine gelled kampf
Sprechen sie das SPAM?

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7988.
It's SPAM Hawaiian!
Snot out of a volcano
Served with pineapple

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7989.
Cheeks of SPAM are like
Virgin's inexperience
No satisfaction

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7990.
Oft, as the sun sets
I see a pink, dreamy sky
Now I think of SPAM

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7991.
Spamos Rancheros
Eggs 'n' SPAM au in a pan
Run away, away!

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7992.
Lick your chops, wallow
SPAM beckons, the pink abyss
Indulge, wiggle, burp!

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7993.
Eeyore likes SPAM cold
Tigger likes it barbecued
"Not at all" says Pooh!

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7994.
Welfare man's delight
He devours it every night
Poor son of a bitch

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7995.
SPAM or a bullet?
I will see you in hell first
Mutsy shoots Rizzo

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7996.
SPAM is for dinner
Toilet bound on the morron
Paper burns on ass

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7997.
Tabasco soaked, charred
Pulls sunshine out of your ass
Cajun blackened SPAM

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7998.
you are what you eat.
food for thought for one who is
contemplating spam.

--kevin, the mathineer, kpk@Storz.Com

7999.
SPAM is good to me
I love you SPAM I love you
SPAM let's fuck tonight!!!!

--Maurenem me la CHUPA, maurenem@hotmail.com

8000.
Sweet food of the Gods.
Pink colored; You speak to me...
"Bathe in my pink flesh."

--Steve Cole, colestev@pilot.msu.edu