SPAM Haiku 8701-8800

Move backwards to Numbers 8601-8700.

8701.
Lewinsky loves SPAM
feel of meat upon her tongue
but does she swallow?

--Bob

8702.
TV star gets spammed
When her ratings dissipate
Kermit mourns his loss

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8703.
Monica and Bill
He ate her in the White House
Safer to eat SPAM

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8704.
Chunks of ground cow head
Salt added to remove taste
Then add meat jelly

--Jason Herrmann, bio1001d@frank.mtsu.edu

8705.
I slurp down a piece
Fried in its own nasty juice
Stop the gag reflex!

--Jason Herrmann, bio1001d@frank.mtsu.edu

8706.
Why am I alone?
Not enough SPAM so I have
Zero social life.

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

8707.
spam milkshake and toast
life's gastronomic peril
breakfast on my shoes

--CAVAC KOLLOK

8708.
My first spamku sucked
so here is another one
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

--George Zoren, GZ@girlscouts.hell

8709.
Blue is my outside
because SPAM is how I feel
on the inside. SPAM!

--FKuP3, daves@fogartyklein.com

8710.
Raise a toast for SPAM
Forget not the cream gravy
Match made in heaven!

--FKuP3, scottg@fogartyklein.com

8711.
The weekend is near
Time to enjoy the good things
SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! And beer.

--FKuP3, scottg@fogartyklein.com

8712.
Clinton accused of,
getting SPAM-job from his aide.
Think she swallowed it?

--Mada Razc

8713.
Mr. Cohaagen
Screwed my mind up with some SPAM
All I do is eat

--Doug Quaid

8714.
Life gets me depressed
Open cabinet for SPAM
Troubles washed away

--Jan van der Banck

8715.
SPAM and gossiping
Are my twin pastimes of late
Eat and ruin lives

--Karen Mulhern

8716.
Bow down before SPAM!
Pay heed all ye four food groups
Here is...number five!

--Pope SPAM the I

8717.
How should I clean up
After the SPAM party ends?
Nitroglycerine.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8718.
Darn, I used it all
Last time. Now I think I'll use
Trinitrotoluene.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8719.
I hear you laughing
In your blue sanctuary.
The joke is on me.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8720.
This ground pig snout has
smelled sweet corn, and other pigs.
Now it just smells bad.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8721.
Why does British SPAM
look so different from the
SPAM in the U.S.?

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8722.
Writing my report,
I'm typing S-P-A-M,
not S-N-M-P.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8723.
I don't think my boss
fully appreciates SPAM
Haiku obsession.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8724.
"Contributed to
popular Web site content,"
on my resume.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8725.
Pie Jesu, qui
tollis pecatta mundi,
dona eis SPAM.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8726.
Is God everywhere?
Is he in the blue tin can?
Okay, maybe not.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8727.
Wet, grey, rain shower.
Thoughts of SPAM. Wet feels wetter,
and grey feels greyer.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8728.
Hormel keeps records
of the exact location
of all known SPAM fans.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8729.
He's undecided.
Reads the can's ingredients.
Now he's more confused.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8730.
Softly falling snow.
The world seems gentle, peaceful.
Then SPAM comes along.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8731.
Regardless of SPAM,
You have shown your true nature.
All is forgiven.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8732.
Sleep. Dream. Awaken.
Eat. Work. Work. Eat. Play. Dance. Sing.
Eat. Drink. Sleep. Dream. SPAM.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8733.
When I think of you,
I think of all the times we
did not talk of SPAM.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8734.
For millions of years,
Cavemen got along just fine,
Without any SPAM.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8735.
What is more welcome?
A blue and yellow tin can,
Or a live piglet?

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8736.
Hyphens are consid-
ered cheating when you are com-
posing SPAM haiku.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8737.
One hand clapping sound?
SPAM has a Buddha nature?
Not enlightened yet.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8738.
When my SPAM grows up,
I want him to be like me,
But with better taste.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8739.
Wouldn't it be great
If SPAM tasted like it does,
But were made of food?

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8740.
I did not eat SPAM,
Even before I became
Vegetarian.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8741.
Life out of balance.
There is good, there is bad, and
Then there's all that SPAM.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8742.
After acid rain,
SPAM is there, in a rainbow.
Yellow, blue, and pink.

--brien k. meehan, brien@networkjanitor.com

8743.
Specially Prepared
Assorted Meats--SPAM is so
deceptively named.

--Nadia Giordana, nadia@taste21.com

8744.
My dead heart is black
My head rings with the screams of
The dead. I ate SPAM.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8745.
That bedraggled whore,
The bitch Misery descends.
Anyone for SPAM?

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8746.
I am the voice that
Haunts your dreams. I am the fruit
of tainted loins... SPAM.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8747.
"Please, sir--I hunger
So." "Would you like some SPAM?" "No
Thank you. I just ate."

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8748.
My larder: six tins
Of SPAM, one tin of Whiskas.
Hope cat likes offal.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8749.
If there was a God,
Do you really think he would
Have created SPAM?

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8750.
My mother abused
Me as a child. Still I dread
The words, "Eat your SPAM."

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8751.
Bob's sinking into
QuickSPAM. "Eat your way out, Bob!"
Sadly, Bob succumbs.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8752.
Cold, moist touch on my
Flesh. Begone, gelatinous
Torturer of souls!

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8753.
Consumed with fear, I
Feel the meat smother me. Mine
A quick death, God, please!

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8754.
Who am I? I have
Lost myself. Yesterday I
Was forced to eat SPAM.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8755.
Pink, juicy... that most
Phallic of all meat products,
Hybrid food of Hell.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8756.
SCOTTY: "It's meat, Jim,
But not as we know it." SPOCK:
"Illogical meat."

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8757.
There is hope for meat
Discarded, rejected, deemed
Unfit. There is SPAM.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8758.
O, composite of
Reject meats, your goo trickles
Slowly down my throat.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8759.
Is it me, or is
There something quite sexual
In its meaty form?

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8760.
I used to enjoy
Eating SPAM. Now I abstain
From all meat. Go figure.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8761.
Used to get confused
Between SPAM and luncheon meat.
What a shock I got!

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8762.
A warm summer night
SPAM grilling on a campfire
Out in the Badlands

--Aaron Faiman

8763.
Ate a lot of SPAM
As a boy. Have since been in
Psychiatric care.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8764.
J'suis le SPAM, oui?
That Frenchman knows his nature
We are all SPAM, no?

--Bob

8765.
Freud: pioneering
Psychosexual counsellor?
SPAM envy? What rot!

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8766.
Vegas-period
Elvis spamming it up and
Dying fat and sad.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8767.
A microcosmic
Northern Ireland, teeming with
Bacterial ooze.

--Buzz, davidbusby@saqnet.co.uk

8768.
SPAM... enigmatic...
What a mystery it is...
As it shall remain...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8769.
It's inspiration!
It is light, it is beauty!
Pink shimmering meat!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8770.
Oh, where is my SPAM?
I know I put it right here!
Now what will I eat?

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8771.
I do not like it
Green eggs and ham, SPAM I am.
Doc Seuss, genius

--Jeremy Sobeck, jmsobeck@jcvaxa.jcu.edu

8772.
Oozing oozers flow
Juicy juicy SPAM galore
Ooze, now, ooze with glee!

--Jed, HuttHunter@aol.com

8773.
Your growth is slowing
Spamku archive's dull humor
finally showing...

--Tom Lilly

8774.
Is SPAM cyberporn?
Why waste so much energy,
Meat masturbators!

--Tom Lilly

8775.
What's more pathetic?
Poor people forced to eat SPAM,
or a geek's web-site?

--Tom Lilly

8776.
With any luck, I'll
overload your server so
it vomits Spamku.

--Tom Lilly

8777.
You know what you are?
You are web waste in a can,
the SPAM of Big Blue.

--Tom Lilly

8778.
I am done for now.
A satisfied cannibal
knows my appetite.

--Tom Lilly, tlilly@emory.edu

8779.
Five-thousand year-old
SPAM found in the crust of Earth...
What could this find mean?

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8780.
SPAM... mysterious...
Shrouded in a strange aura...
Pinkish enigma!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8781.
"What does it all mean?"
I asked my God. He then said,
"Look to SPAM, my son."

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

8782.
Blended Porky Pig
Homogenized quivering
That's all folks: I'm canned

--philw, pwolff@bigfoot.com

8783.
In darkness alone
sits the processed meat product
unopened unloved.

--Steven Lacher, lacherclp@hotmail.com

8784.
Poor Squeaky. I thought
I flushed you down the toilet.
Your fate was worse--SPAM.

--Sinope, sinopeq@aol.com

8785.
The spoon dives in it
And corrodes with a sizzle.
Lick it if you dare.

--Sinope, sinopeq@aol.com

8786.
Fresh SPAM, or Jell-O?
Jell-O is ground-up cow hooves.
But what, then, is SPAM?

--Sinope, sinopeq@aol.com

8787.
sometimes we eat SPAM
then we devise a real plan
to hork up that SPAM

--Blake, Zildjian47@aol.com

8788.
Frying in the pan
Turning yummy golden-brown.
Smells like my dead pet.

--Sinope, sinopeq@aol.com

8789.
Oh, fleshy pink SPAM
Your globules of whitish fat
Highlight your texture.

--Sinope, sinopeq@aol.com

8790.
SPAM, SPAM, I love SPAM,
From my head down to my ham,
SPAM, SPAM I love SPAM.

--Dixie Dennis

8791.
The dog ate my SPAM
What a fool--thought it was food
Rover, Rest in Peace

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8792.
Found a can of SPAM
I served it to my best friends
Wakes are tomorrow

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8793.
Nectar of the Gods
Ground pig innards, lips, and ass
Swallow, my Goddess

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8794.
Here Kitty, Kitty
Wanna little Kitty treat?
He's dead, said the Vet

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8795.
DJ Howard Stern
Had SPAM on his show today
SPAM or Rush Limbaugh?

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8796.
Al Gore and Tipper
Serve SPAM to visiting guests
Hope we don't impeach!

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8797.
"Life is cruel", said Bill
"First Monica, now my SPAM"
"Damn you, Hillary!"

--Spammy Hagar, kelsey@tiac.com

8798.
Relic of the War,
The very can is lethal.
True mystery meat!

--Ron Mifune

8799.
there was a man from
nantucket who ate some spam
that did not like it

--Anonymous

8800.
yucky smelly spam
how do you dare eat that shit
pork ham is in it

--samantha