SPAM Haiku 9501-9600

Move backwards to Numbers 9401-9500.

9501.
Van Halen? No more!
Not with that new guy who re-
placed SPAMmy Hagar.

--Anonymous

9502.
Spam spam spam spam spam,
spam spam spam spam spam spam spam.
(Damn this writer's block.)

--Anonymous

9503.
Artsy French guy paints
Picture of blue can: "Ceci
n'est pas un SPAM." (Huh?)

--Anonymous

9504.
Bacon wrote Shakespeare!
I-SPAM-bic pentameter
Is thus explained, no?

--Anonymous

9505.
SPAM fetish means that
without another pink meat
your own is useless.

--Anonymous

9506.
Constitution does
not give the right to eat SPAM?
Amend the bastard!

--Anonymous

9507.
Thanksgiving turkey
is stuffed with pink gooey meat?
Well, it beats Stove Top.

--Anonymous

9508.
Addicted am I
But for the grace of SPAM Ku
I need a meeting

--Spamo A. Nonymouse, 12 Steps of Spam

9509.
Flatulently SPAM
Voice of Washington DC
Phrrrrrts! in Bubba's brain

--Flatulina Spamtina, Usmellit@dc.yep

9510.
CSPAM on TV
On twenty-four hours daily
Ad infinitum

--Carajo Gringos, Si@donotbelieve.not

9511.
It's new Instant SPAM
Eagerly I open it
Just add the Clintons

--Paul A. Jones, BenRiptoff@DC

9512.
DemocRats eat SPAM
Our country's their two-holer
They're not playing golf

--Spam A. Vote

9513.
Pineapple's downfall
Antithesis of sushi
Alluring lowlife

--Anthony Lunau, tan_knn@email.msn.com

9514.
Eat SPAM, party like
it is 1999.
Livin' on a prayer.

--odelphi@interserv.com

9515.
Headline: "Mama Cass
eats SPAM sandwich, chokes to death.
Suicide note found."

--odelphi@interserv.com

9516.
Pink meat, blue tin can
Pink baby eats SPAM, turns blue
Pink and blue Haiku

--odelphi@interserv.com

9517.
o salty gristle
you are some kind of meat, right?
caution to the wind

--Anonymous

9518.
Spent last few minutes
trying to find my SPAMku.
Ego wrought by SPAM.

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9519.
Rubber band ball sits;
When dropped, it bounces--SPAM won't.
SPAM always goes SPLAT.

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9520.
Demon of SPAM, rise!!
Overthrow the meat business!!
Bring Spam-pocolypse!!

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9521.
End of college year.
SPAM goes uneaten in my
Roommate's fridge; I'm scared.

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9522.
OH YES! OH OH YES!!
OH BABY!! YES!! YES!! YES!! YES!!
Slave to spam fetish.

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9523.
I must use this word:
"Bestiality," although
it's not about SPAM.

--Knight of Wands, twistoid@mindless.com

9524.
It's noon at college.
SPAM gremlins run to take me;
I bash them to mush.

--Knight of Wands, twistoid@mindless.com

9525.
One lone, red blossom.
Soft nature plays around me.
This is Anti-SPAM.

--IMP, twistoid@mindless.com

9526.
he who builds his house
of porcine bricks and SPAM gel
has quivery home

--foo, priestss@owl.csusm.edu

9527.
SPAM and Velveeta
with a Ding-Dong for dessert.
Mmm good. You know it!

--foo, priestss@owl.csusm.edu

9528.
Eighteen inches long,
four inches square, in green can.
Navy SPAM, salute it!

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9529.
Manna from the gods!
SPAM, lettuce and tomato,
mayo, Wonder Bread.

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9530.
It would not have lived
anyhow. Pink pig fetus,
featureless. Can it.

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9531.
Delenn observes the
Mimbari SPAM ritual.
John sues for divorce.

--Junkyard God

9532.
The First Ones harnessed
Organic Technology.
The Forces of Pink.

--Junkyard God

9533.
SPAM, up in the sky
SPAM, deep down beneath the Earth
Universal SPAM

--Chris Rohrbach

9534.
I hook the key on
Then spinning a steel ribbon
Unlock your strange taste

--Brian D. Taylor, darkthought@worldnet.att.net

9535.
Rectangles frying
Neither bacon nor sausage
And a taste to match

--Brian D. Taylor, darkthought@worldnet.att.net

9536.
No bone or gristle,
nor blood or shell or entrails,
and yet I taste.....what?

--Brian D. Taylor, darkthought@worldnet.att.net

9537.
The mass of pink gel
Coagulates into food
It is soylent green

--Erin Marut, emarut@randomhouse.com

9538.
Greasy heaps of pork,
compressed in tin packages.
SPAM weighs more than pigs.

--Mike Drach, shinplaster@rocketmail.com

9539.
Blue cans complement,
Six hundred and sixty-six:
The food of the beast?

--Mutt'n'Geoff, geoffw@sco.com

9540.
A porcine carcass
Is soon rendered into SPAM
All used, none wasted

--Mutt'n'Geoff, geoffw@sco.com

9541.
SPAM on fine china
Eaten under candlelight
It still tastes like SPAM

--Ben Dussault, capt_crunch@hotmail.com

9542.
I eat SPAM at dusk
While day's death is impending
SPAM will bring me mine

--Jim, Michmulvoy@aol.com

9543.
Gift from my "girlfriend"
A fork and a can of SPAM
Used fork on "girlfriend"

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

9544.
New Windows virus
Infects drive FAT--turns screen pink
WinSPAM 1.0

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

9545.
Oh truffle rooter
Once muddy frolicking free
Conglomerated

--Dave, sdsteelman@hotmail.com

9546.
Canned and pasteurized
Transformed anew. SPAM I am
Look at me. Eat me.

--Dave, sdsteelman@hotmail.com

9547.
Pink jelly oozing
on my breasts is slippery,
Doctor SPAMmogram!

--alison, acw4@hotmail.com

9548.
Fat girls don't eat SPAM
It's not on their OA list
Kissed not the SPAMless

--A Spam Admirer, U2fat4megal@megatons

9549.
SPAM in the garden
Beautiful, weedless, serene
Composted porcine

--Mr. Greengenes, Don't call us Spammers

9550.
King of potted meats
Black sheep of pork family
I crave your foul taste

--Richard Levin, rlevin@qsi.com

9551.
A midwestern spring.
All men's minds turn to thoughts of
SPAM? I don't think so.

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9552.
Even on Sunday
I can't help but think of SPAM.
Religion can't help.

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9553.
Its power will be
harnessed to light great cities.
Cold fusion of SPAM.

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9554.
Caffeine in my blood.
Can it begin to offset
SPAM-induced coma?

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9555.
Black coffee and SPAM.
The Breakfast of Champions
In Bizarro World.

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9556.
Karen Carpenter
Kidnapped. Must eat SPAM. Dies of
Anorexia.

--odelphi@interserv.com

9557.
Ludwig Beethoven
Discovers SPAM in cupboard
Writes Ninth Symphony

--odelphi@interserv.com

9558.
Jim Bakker spams still
Tammy Faye has gone her way
God must be asleep

--Rev.erence for Spam, Fr.up@ the top.net

9559.
I ate SPAM today
Kaopectated all night
Vince Fostered was I

--Katie Nolady, Grassypark@er.net

9560.
Got spamaronied
In a San Francisco bath
Oh my aching butt

--Spam Aphrodisiac, SanFran@anytime.yes

9561.
He does what he can
The ravenous kids calling
Single dad cooking

--Cindy

9562.
My pet block of SPAM
never needs to go outside.
Better than a cat.

--Basho in Hell

9563.
If you lose your way
always remember that SPAM
is "MAPS" spelled backwards.

--Basho in Hell

9564.
It's all in a name:
SPAM just wouldn't be the same
if it were spelled "SPAME."

--Basho in Hell

9565.
Ran out of money
building my house. Had to use
SPAM instead of bricks.

--Basho in Hell

9566.
Summer at the beach.
Everyone flees the water!
A shark? No. It's SPAM.

--Basho in Hell

9567.
Served SPAM for dessert:
a culinary faux pas.
How was I to know?

--Basho in Hell

9568.
Served SPAM with no grease:
a culinary faux pas.
How was I to know?

--Basho in Hell

9569.
If I were cruel I'd
take the leftover SPAM and
feed it to the dog.

--Tal

9570.
Summer night, full moon
SPAM slab under my pillow:
what a foul odor.

--Basho in Hell

9571.
Bad dog, ate my socks;
don't look at me so smugly.
You, too, can be SPAM.

--Basho in Hell

9572.
Pinkish gastropod,
meaty mollusk in tin shell:
come, slither my way...

--Basho in Hell

9573.
Late night, hunting SPAM.
See a glistening...KAPOW!!!
Lights on...oops. Poor cat.

--Basho in Hell, (correction)

9574.
Government finding:
Pigs are smart, so eat more SPAM.
Godless bureaucrats.

--Basho in Hell

9575.
Why was the West won?
What can turn the hearts of Man?
It's SPAM, I tell you.

--Basho in Hell

9576.
marriage is like spam
pretty can with nice labels
best left unopened

--giant squid, cminson@devonian.com

9577.
Late night, hunting SPAM
Greasy trails on kitchen floor.
SPAM tracks! I stiffen....

--Basho in Hell

9578.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
Foul smell drifts from the cupboard
I know you're in there...

--Basho in Hell

9579.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
They feed on stovetop gristle
Shhh! Don't scare them off...

--Basho in Hell

9580.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
I must outfox the meaty
morsels: camouflage.

--Basho in Hell

9581.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
You can't take away my gun.
Bloody liberals.

--Basho in Hell

9582.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
A slithering sound...KAPOW!
Luncheon meat must die.

--Basho in Hell

9583.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
Really, I'm a compressed meat
lover. It's the sport...

--Basho in Hell

9584.
Frank Sinatra's gone
Was it SPAM or could it be
The last Seinfeld show

--Hey Goomba, Lastcall@daboard

9585.
I want a page for
my anti-spam spam haiku
so that all may learn.

--doug penumbra, jilfer@earthlink.net

9586.
O dusty blue can
For months you sit on the shelf
Expiration date???

--Jill Sanger, jillkid@aol.com

9587.
Upon the waters
Cast ye chunks of SPAM to fish
Harvest your dead fish

--Jiminy Houston

9588.
Frank Sinatra's gone
His last act SPAM and Seinfeld
Lethal rejection

--Dooby Dooby Don't, Ididit@myway.blah

9589.
SPAM, food of the Gods
That's why the Gods are still dead
Awesome pink power

--Anonymous

9590.
The other white meat
SPAM you are simply scrumptious
For this I got paid

--Harry the Hormel Worker, Luvthatspam@prod

9591.
Unwanted rodents
A diet of SPAM renders
Me a rat knacker

--Mickey Rat Nomore, Disnut@Erols.net

9592.
Gerbilized warm meat
The breakfast of champions
Right out of the can

--San Fran Man, doitdoitdidit@uknow.com

9593.
Princess Di ate SPAM
Frank Sinatra ate it too
It's your turn O.J.

--Doctor Spamvorkian, Mtsignoff@edu.com

9594.
On slablets of pork
Ten SPAMandments delivered
Atop Mount Swine-ai

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9595.
Northbound bacon truck
Smacks southbound speeding SPAM van
Oh no! Swine entwined!

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9596.
Blue tin center lane
Big white Mack truck bearing down
Pink treadmarks on road

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9597.
Perfectly preserved
Mummified meat meets maker
His Hormel heaven

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9598.
Tornado alley
Pig farms, tin can factory
Fresh SPAM falls from sky

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9599.
Pentagon secret
Feeding foes farm fricassee
Saddam, meet stealth SPAM

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9600.
Is anything worse
than cold, gelatinous SPAM?
Probably tofu.

--Mike Defever, mdefever@lamar.colostate.edu